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Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos


How far have you evolved as a person? Are you still struggling with the same issues you’ve had all your life? Are you turning to vices to distract and soothe you? Do you avoid those hard conversations with people who are important to you?

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other aspects of your life, and if you haven’t confronted your demons, you will never be able to take your personal evolution to the next level.

Stefanos Sifandos is a relational alchemist, international speaker, author and change-maker dedicated to helping men create a life of meaning and purpose.

Not long ago, he was egotistical, dishonest, unfaithful, and above all, scared. He discovered that unresolved trauma from his toxic father was unconsciously and destructively influencing his behavior.

Today, Stefanos shares his journey into the depth of pain, and how we can drill to the truth of ourselves to become completely integrated and self-reliant.

He also reveals 6 steps that we can take to process, heal, and expand from the wounds of the past.

“Unconsciously, I used my childhood—my trauma, my wounding—as an excuse to be an asshole.”—Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos is a trained educator and relationships expert with a background in behavioral science. He is passionate about leading people closer to their highest potential and each other.

Stefanos’ philosophy merges the best of eastern and western methodologies to promote spiritual balance and empower people in life and love. From trauma release to navigating the murky waters of modern masculinity, to helping women understand the men in their lives, he helps people escape negative patterns and cultivate a positive sense of self.

Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life; special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, elite fighters, and everyday people have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones.

What You’ll Learn

  • Stefanos had a tumultuous childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father.
  • He witnessed his dad and mom have a volatile relationship.
  • His life growing up was full of uncertainty, judgement, control, and pressure.
  • Many of us suppress our childhood memories.
  • Hate, anger, and fear are constrictive. Feeling is freeing, and freedom allows us to expand.
  • How Stefanos grieved his childhood, learned to accept his father, and let go of who he expected him to be.
  • Taking responsibility for dealing with your trauma.
  • Stefanos was hyper-aggressive, arrogant, and egotistical.
  • His business fluctuated and he had volatile relationships.
  • How he became aware of his unhealthy patterns
  • How men can stay on the path of ignorance or become aware and choose a new path
  • How Stefanos used physical challenges to begin growing his self-worth
  • 4 years ago, Stefanos was cleaning toilets and sweeping floors because he didn’t want the commitment of a business.
  • How we use the dopamine from vices to suppress emotions.
  • Other tools men use to cope—avoidance, projecting, codependency, and blame
  • Stefanos says that he had to go through multiple ego deaths to get to where he is.
  • Why “the masculine wants to be empty”
  • The one thing a woman needs most from a man is trustworthiness.
  • We can’t be trustworthy if we don’t do what we say.
  • Why you must have guides and support when you decide to go within.
  • You won’t solve your issues with the same perspective as you developed them.
  • Feeling is your way through the pain.
  • The 6 Step Cyclical Process of Healing
    • Depth-feeling – getting inside your emotions
    • Grounding – pull yourself out, immerse yourself in nature
    • Release – journal, empty your head
    • Reprieve – self-care, healthy pleasure
    • Introspection – stillness and silence
    • Social – reconnecting with friends and loved ones and being seen, respected, and appreciated
  • Why you should talk face to face with your woman.
  • Our issues with other people have little to do with them. We must deepen the connection to ourselves.
  • Confidence is a gate to self-worth.
  • How to improve your confidence level
  • Care less about what people think and more about being true to yourself.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

 


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Stefanos Sifandos’s Links

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why should i forgive

Why Should I Forgive? with Derek Stone


Is there someone in your life that you are finding it hard to forgive. A sibling, friend, or parent? We all have grudges, but we don’t realize how much emotional and mental bandwidth they’re stealing from us.

Derek Stone is the author of Why Should I Forgive? He grew up in poverty and was sexually abused by his stepfather. His bitterness led him into drugs, alcohol, and dysfunctional relationships. But he found the faith he needed to forgive and move on. Now his mission is to empower people to transform their lives and walk them through the hell of confronting past trauma and teaching them to forgive.

Derek talks about his painful journey out of hate, anger, and shame and how the power of forgiveness can free us to create the full and happy lives we were meant live.

“For true forgiveness to happen, something has to die.”—Derek Stone

Derek Stone

Derek Stone is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Stone’s Repair and Remodel, LLC. He’s been married to his high school sweetheart, Crystal for the past 17 years and together they have two boys: Ashton, 14 years old and Noah, 7 years old.

Derek came from humble beginnings and grew up in Section-8 housing located in Mobile, AL. Derek has a fraternal twin brother and was the youngest of 4 children growing up. His parents divorced when he was 5 years old and had to raise himself when his mom started working 3 jobs to keep the lights on. He moved to North East Mississippi at age 16 when his mother re-married for the 3rd time and started his life over.

He gives all the credit for his success to one decision he made while a senior in high school. He says, “I started looking back at my life to figure out what made me so different from my other three siblings. I chose to forgive my dad and not take the same paths my parents did. I blamed dad for every bad thing I went through as a child: from being sexually abused, going hungry (thank God for school lunches), to having to take cold showers because the power got cut off. I was very bitter as a teenager and wanted a better life, so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it!”

36 years since the beginning of his story and he is currently living his best life, not someone else’s. He enjoys hunting, fishing, knife making, and hanging out with his family. He loves helping people re-tool to change their lives and empowering them to do so. He loves God, loves his family, and loves people.

Why Should I Forgive?

Why Should I Forgive? came from a place of discontent. It drove me to change my behavior, relationships, and habits. When I asked myself that question, I was met with a choice. Do I forgive, and be free of the burden of bitterness I was carrying around, or do I live in it, locking myself in a prison of torment and anger?

My passion is to empower people to change their own lives. I personally know the poison that bitterness injects into your body, mind, and spirit. I know the deep hate, anger, and shame that can drive you to your breaking point. I know how you can hurt the people who love you the most, or, even worse, yourself.

I have no Ph.D, M.D., or Doctorate degree in psychology. This is real. It’s my story of how I overcame bitterness, and now I want to give you the tools to walk you through your own journey. I want you to know that if you choose to forgive, it will lead to your freedom.

Join me on this journey. We will laugh, cry, and share life for a moment. This is my story of why and how. At the beginning of this book, the question is “Why should I forgive?” By the end of it, I will have given you the tools to help you in your quest to forgive. These tools will help you to forgive and start your path to spiritual freedom.”

 

What You’ll Learn

  • How to stop thinking of yourself as a victim
  • The process and benefits of forgiveness
  • How to forgive someone without giving them access to you
  • When and how to get rid of toxic people
  • Derek’s favorite quote: “If I associate with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with eagles, I will learn to soar to great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly.”— Andy Andrews
  • How Derek re-established the relationship with his father
  • Abusive people are repeating what was done to them. They serve as an example of what not to be.
  • How forgiveness set Derek’s stagnant life in motion
  • Forgiveness is a choice. If you’re not forgiving people, you’re opening yourself up to torment.
  • The difference between forgiveness and being taken advantage of
  • Why you should never go to your pastor, friends, or family for marriage advice
  • The 4 signs that spell doom for your marriage
  • Your spouse is not an enemy, but a gift.
  • Going with your gut when it comes to letting people into your life
  • How to use your purpose as a filter for all of your relationships. Does this person help or hinder your purpose?
  • Neutralize negative thoughts by telling them that you don’t need them anymore.
  • On challenges—we never know how they’re preparing us for what’s to come.
  • Having patience in “the waiting room” when we feel plagued by setbacks and delays

RELATED EPISODES:

Isolation: The Enemy of Excellence—TDE Exclusive with Aaron Walker

One Last Talk: Your Truth Matters with Philip McKernan

Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

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suicidal ideation

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Derek Stone’s Links

derekstone.online

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fatherhood first

Putting Fatherhood First—Larry Hagner on Purpose Chasers


Today, The Dad Edge visits the Purpose Chasers Podcast for a discussion with Mark Crandall about putting fatherhood first.

We talk about how our lack of a reliable father figure affected us, how we used that pain and confusion to become better men, and how we’ve screwed up as dads now that we are fathers.

We share how to balance the drive to provide for our families with being physically and emotionally present, and how to make undistracted time with our spouse and kids our number one priority.

Being a dad is the most important job we’ll ever have. Let’s make it epic!

Without connection, there is no influence.

Purpose Chasers

Purpose Chasers Podcast is designed to provide insights into personal development, spirituality, recovery, entrepreneurship and how to create an unstoppable mindset to empower individuals to break free from mediocrity and live extraordinarily.

Larry Hagner and The Dad Edge Alliance

“Are you struggling with connecting with your family? Maybe your efforts for being a positive father figure or a deeply devoted spouse aren’t quite being met. Or maybe you never had a father figure in your life, much less a positive relationship with your father, and you’re wanting to level up in how you parent your children. Regardless of your history, your future can still be rewritten. Sometimes our past, even the negative aspects, are needed to shape who we become in the future. You can make the choice today show up wholeheartedly for your family.

This week, I am talking with Larry Hagner, founder of The Good Dad Project as we dive into what it means to truly connect with your family. Larry shares with us his humble beginnings as he walks us through his personal journey of fatherhood. Being without a father figure present for most of his childhood, Larry shares with us the pivotal moment where he realized the father than we knew he needed to be for his own children. Listen as we journey through connectivity, using past experiences as an opportunity to grow, and how to show up for your family in the most authentic way.

What You’ll Learn

  • The 5 dimensions that encompass our heart and spirit at all times
  • Why connection determines your credibility within relationships
  • Using your experiences to set the foundation of a purpose-filled life
  • Why men need validation through their provision
  • How staying present is the key to strengthening your family
  • Why most people aren’t able to connect with their children or spouses
  • Navigating fatherhood and how to show up as your best self through marriage

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Embrace the Past to Win Your Future with Mark Crandall

Defying All Odds with Anthony Trucks

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power with David Wagner

Modern life demands a modern perspective. In a world where the meaning masculinity is in flux, it’s more important than ever to step back from life and dig beneath our protective layers to find out what we’re really all about.

Who are we as men?

How did we get this way?

How can we use our relationships with our own fathers to inform the men we will become?

Today’s guest is David Wagner. He is a transformational teacher, a father, and the author of Backbone: Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power.

David goes into several aspects of being a man, but most importantly he talks about the father wound. Even the best dads fall short in some way and create damage that follows their children into adulthood.

David teaches us how to get to know our fathers as men, to witness life through their eyes so that we can forgive them for their shortcomings and learn from their regrets.

Don’t miss this emotionally charged episode. It will forever alter the way you view your relationship with your father and and the way you show up for your children.

David Wagner

David Harshada Wagner is a teacher, pastor, author, and proud father who has dedicated more than 30 years of his life to the path of selfless service, spiritual awakening, and radical self-transformation.

He has been helping people from all walks of life all over the world walk the spiritual path for more than 25 years. His training is vast and varied, from traditional Christian teachings, to 12 Step Recovery training, to the Indian wisdom traditions of Yoga, Bhakti, Vedanta, and Tantric Shaivism. As a teacher and pastor he draws teachings not only from tradition and scripture, but from his decades of personal transformation and his experience serving others to find their authentic path to deep happiness. Most recently, David has been including Biblical teachings in his ministry and exploring a non-traditional approach to the Way of Christ.

In addition to his online global ministry, David serves on the faculties of YogaGlo, Kripalu, and Omega Institutes, and travels widely training teachers and working with people from all walks of life. He is the author of BACKBONE – the Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose Passion and Power, and is currently authoring several books including one based on the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, and one that explores the cross currents between traditionally eastern practices and the teachings of the Christian Bible. David currently is based in in Ojai, California and travels widely serving his worldwide community.

Backbone: The Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power

So many self-help books on the market have a feminine edge and do not speak directly to a man’s masculinity. The message that men have been given so far is that they have to get in touch with their feminine side if they want to embrace change. This book blows this theory out of the water and is a total game changer. It enables men to transform entirely, working with their masculinity instead of against it. Straight talking, down-to-earth and humorous Wagner addresses the challenges that modern men typically face, asking the reader to join him in a series of profound self-examination exercises and questions covering life purpose, male identity, spirituality, self-limitation, sexuality, relationships, fatherhood and more. Every chapter is highly practical and also includes observations and examples from David’s own life journey as well as insights gained from the many clients and groups he has worked with over the years. Men all over the world will be saying: ‘Finally a book that actually speaks to me in my language’.

What You’ll Learn

  • David’s past struggle with substance abuse
  • The power of a gathering of more than two people.
  • Why many dads have regret and remorse at the end of their lives.
  • What is a cis het man?
  • A child’s need for love is infinite. As parents our abilities are imperfect. This creates the father wound.
  • No matter how much we love our kids, we’ll hurt or disappoint them in some way.
  • How the father wound can create a deeper a spiritual relationship with a higher power
  • Though seemingly opposites, David realized how much he and his father were alike after he died.
  • His father lived inside the cage so that David could live outside the cage.
  • Why you should think of your dad by his first name in your mind
  • The power of seeing your dad as a man and getting to know him as a human being.
  • We know dads as gods, superheroes, and eventually, disappointments.
  • How to examine the way you live as a man and make it intentional
  • What inner work you need to do in order to reveal the right way to execute your whole life

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Getting More Done In 12 Weeks Than Others Do In 12 Months with Brian Moran

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop


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David Wagner

davidhwagner.com

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navy seal tactics for parents

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

Retired Navy SEAL, Chris Sajnog, is one of our most popular guests. He is the premier firearms instructor in America, a bestselling author, and the host of the SEAL Training Podcast.

The Dad Edge went to his studio in San Diego for a live, in-person discussion about fatherhood, and we really went deep. Chris was abandoned by his father and carries the wound with him to this day. He vowed not to be like his estranged dad and gave up his accomplished military life to be there for his teenage boys.

Sadly, his sons don’t want to spend time with him. Chris opens up about dealing with the painful lack of connection with his sons, and how he maintains his fatherly presence in their lives.

Chris Sajnog also shares Navy SEAL tactics for parents to help us to learn anything quickly and effectively. He goes over the hard and soft traits we need to cultivate to be balanced men, and how we can apply the warrior mindset to everyday life.

For us to change our lives, we have to change who we identify ourselves as.—Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog is a retired Navy SEAL Master Firearms Instructor, Neural-Pathway Training Expert, Speaker and Disabled Veteran Small Business Owner. He is one of the most experienced and respected firearms trainers in the world, being hand-selected to develop the training program for the US Navy SEAL Snipers. As a Navy SEAL he was the senior sniper instructor, a certified Master Training Specialist (MTS), BUD/S and advanced training marksmanship instructor.

After retiring from the SEAL Teams in 2009 to spend time with his family, Chris began training civilians and law enforcement officers. He is the founder of the New Rules of Marksmanship, a revolutionary approach to firearms training and has a passion for finding innovative ways to teach elite-level shooting skills online as rapidly as possible to his students.

He is a federal and state certified firearms instructor and has trained DOD, DHS, FBI, CIA, Law Enforcement, and multiple foreign allies in all aspects of combat weapons handling, marksmanship, and tactics.

He lives in San Diego, CA with his wife Laura and two boys, Caden and Owen.

What You’ll Learn

  • Chris’s mother was a flight attendant. His dad left when he was 2 years old.
  • Chris admits he was not a good student or son.
  • He was voted “most likely to end up in prison.”
  • Even though is dad didn’t want him around, Chris idolized him.
  • Chris’s dad was a manager at Hardee’s.
  • Chris forged documents and had eye surgery under a fake name to make it into the SEALs.
  • How Chris used his adversity as motivation
  • The importance of changing your identity
  • How to get your kid to identify themselves in a different way
  • How Chris gets his rebellious sons to do things that they refuse to do
  • How Chris’s boys don’t appreciate the fact that their father is a Navy SEAL
  • Chris has written his sons love letters and the life lessons he wants to pass onto them.
  • His sons don’t engage with him, but he doesn’t give up. He keeps trying to connect.
  • Navy SEAL tactics for parents
  • The importance of having a strong “why” when learning anything new or challenging
  • How to know whether or not you should quit something
  • How to assess if your path is serving you
  • Stop investing in a life for the wrong reasons that will not make you happy in the long run.
  • Why Chris won’t befriend men who aren’t good dads
  • How Chris turns civilians into warriors
  • The importance of meditation in a gunfight
  • It’s not what you train but how you train.

If you want to get better at being a dad, be around good dads.—Chris Sajnog

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

The 12 Traits of a Warrior Part 1: The Hard Traits with Chris Sajnog

12 Traits of a Warrior Part II: The Soft Traits

Dad Edge Alliance Q&#038;A: Allowing Your Kids to Have Their Feelings with Chris Sajnog


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Chris Sajnog’s Links

chrissajnog.com

SEAL Training Podcast

Facebook

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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