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your why

What is Your WHY

Your Why…is it to be your best?  Is it to live a fulfilled life?  To selflessly serve others?  To be financially free?  To be healthy?  What is it?  Chances are you never got really clear on it…now is the time to get clear on your why!

You’re in your car and you’re going to work. You know exactly where you are going and the possible barriers to getting there. You have a mission. If we broaden that perspective to our lives, we might be able to understand and better predict the issues that may come up. Sometimes, though, we lose focus of where we are going or want to go and become bogged down in the everyday tasks that frustrate us. We lose our mission.

Your Why and One Vision

Angry, frustrated, tired. And you wake up then next morning and do it all over again. The same job, the same chores when you get home, the same arguments with your spouse. Then you ask yourself, “why?”.  That’s the right question. Once you’re there, search for your answer.  It’ll take some digging, but once you get to the core, you will have your vision.

Toss the Ego

Your ego may be the biggest challenge to identifying your why. You’ve got to check it at the proverbial door. In order to be the best father, husband and overall man you can be, you have to answer that one question.

Lead by example for you and those who look up to you. Having a why (your vision), will help you keep focus when you start to get off track and will set the stage for a better life.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on YOUR WHY…now go discover it!

powerfully present

8 Ways to Be Powerfully Present with Your Family

Powerfully Present are two words we hear a lot in our society.  However, being powerfully present in the moment has never been more difficult due to all the distractions that we are bombarded with every single moment of every single day.

Powerfully Present Tip #1:  Eye Contact

When you are talking to your partner or child, think to yourself, what color are their eyes? Lock-in the eye contact, and focus on every detail. This will pull your attention out of the fog created by your never-ending task lists, whether it’s the one from your desk or on the fridge. They may still call your out for not listening, but see what kind of response you get to, “I was distracted by your eyes. Those light specks of green in the brown around your pupils are amazing.” (Thanks Larry!)

Powerfully Present Tip #2: Start a Family-time Challenge

Challenge the family to a nominal amount of time with ZERO electronics. If possible start with 5 minutes, but don’t be afraid to start smaller.  The trick to this one, is that you need to keep everyone from watching the clock. “Ring Around the Rosy” is great with our two-year old. She loves the part where we all fall down. (Thanks Brett!)

Powerfully Present Tip #3:  Ask yourself a simple question

Which part of this moment will matter in a year, what I’m thinking or what’s in front of me? This is amazingly effective for me. I’ve been known to literally toss my phone to the other side of the room in response so it is out of reach. Glad I have a good case! (Thanks Paul!)

Powerfully Present Tip #4:  Get down on your child’s level

There are few things that will focus you in the moment like sitting on the floor with your child. If my mind starts to drift, I drop down to eye level and utilize tip #1.  (Thanks Robert!)

Powerfully Present Tip #5:  Ask them to hold your hand

When you are busy/focused on a task and your child approaches, ask them to hold your hand or leg while you wrap up. I tend to finish faster, and often I simply stop because I hear Paul’s question in my head. “Which one of these matter?” (Thanks Lenny!)

Powerfully Present Tip #6:  Learn with them 

Make their hobbies your hobbies, even if that means playing ball boy, packing away the nets, or learning about tendus and pirouettes. If you share common interests it is much easier to retain focus when you spend time together. This works great with children as well as and partners. My wife and I spend a lot of time together building our sites and photography skills. This provides us opportunities to grow together independent of our children. When Cecilia moves out one day, we will have other interests holding us together. (Thanks James!)

Powerfully Present Tip #7:  Share your gratitude 

This is more than saying thank you. It’s about appreciating the contribution your partner and children make to your life. If my mind is wandering, I will use this change it’s direction, and to Erin or Cecilia with me. “My favorite part of the week so far is when we sang songs while riding to daycare.” Or, “Do you remember stopping for coffee last Tuesday morning? That made my week.” Let them know you appreciate the little things you do together as a family.

Powerfully Present Tip #8:   Share a memory

Sometimes it can help to take a trip through time. Tell your children the first, funniest, or favorite memory you have from them growing up. Talk to your spouse about your first date, and what attracted you to the most to them.

How to Start

It’s not easy to juggle the responsibilities of parenting, marriage, and work. It is no wonder that we struggle to stay present. I trust that now you have at least one or two new tools to help you keep your focus during family-time. To help you start using them, and to reduce your distractions, I recommend these simple but effective strategies.

  1. Put your work phone / email on “Do Not Disturb” when you leave the office. This is your time to reset so you are in the right headspace when you arrive at the house.
  2. When you come home from work, pause at the door, think of your intention, and visualize how you want to show up on the other side.
  3. When you enter the home, assess the environment, and enter it where/how you will add the most value. If your partner is fried, grab the kids and let them take a walk. Don’t ask what’s for dinner.
  4. If your mind still begins to wonder, remember this list of focus hacks to pull you back into the present moment.

Surround yourself with positive, like-minded dads struggling and supporting each other. The ever-growing Dad’s Edge Facebook Group is a great source for these connections – look forward to seeing you there!

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with John Zugelder

John is husband, father, writer, and member of the Dad’s Edge Mastermind. He and his wife are the creators of the free 45 Day Positive Mornings Challenge, and they currently live in Sydney, Australia with their toddler. You can also find them on their personal blog, Living EZ.

powerfully present

pay it forward

Pay It Forward and Be a Powerful Force for Good

Pay it forward…a quote that is so powerful in our society.

Treat others as you would like to be treated. Sounds simple enough and is probably something you’ve told your kids a time or two. But when it comes to actual practice, sometimes that old adage is easier said than done. Our own personal agendas or hurts take precedence over kindness to others, as we go along our busy day.

Pay It Forward and The Butterfly Effect

(As it relates to chaos theory) the phenomenon whereby a minute localized change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere (thanks, Google). In other words, the tiny beat of a butterfly wing has tremendous ripple effect on all things surrounding it, thus having a ripple effect on the universe. So, if this is how the small wing of a butterfly can impact the universe, then what impact can a single human interaction have likewise? Remember that person you cut off in traffic this morning (or the person who cut you off)? Think of the feeling you had after you experienced that. Most likely, that feeling carried into your next action and the response of the person on the opposite end carried into their next action.

Change the Paradigm

When we’ve had a morning that seems to go all wrong (the kids didn’t want to wake up, you and your partner had a disagreement, traffic was backed up), it’s easier to let the rest of your day follow suit. Think of the number of times you’ve said something along the lines of, “I just need this day to be over.” Instead of allowing the events in our lives to control how we feel or how we respond, be deliberate in having a positive response even when you feel least like being positive.

 

In this week’s Five Minute Thursday, Larry shares an incredible story of just that: positive human response to an otherwise ugly situation. The beauty of human kindness permeates even the toughest circumstances. It shows that treating others the way we would like to be treated transcends all social and class barriers and reminds us that we all have one thing in common, our humanity.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s episode of Pay It Forward

guilt

You should NEVER FEEL GUILT Investing in Yourself

Guilt: the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Is taking care of yourself a crime? We sometimes treat taking care of ourselves as if we believe it is a crime because we think that taking time for ourselves is taking time away from our family. But if we are simply physically “present” and not fully focused because we are too tired, too overwhelmed, too stressed, too you name it, then our physical presence means very little.

 

Don’t Give Into GUILT You Are Just as Important

 

We love our family and friends and we would do anything for them. The one person who we really should also pay attention to is the one we look at in the mirror every morning. Include taking care of yourself as part of loving your family and friends because it allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for others in the process.

 

Not Really Yourself

 

When you play the role of martyr and do everything for everyone else, you tend to build resentment toward the people you are doing things for. But, when you take time to take care of yourself, you have refueled your mind, body and spirit so that you can show up best.

 

Get rid of the guilt of taking care of yourself. You are just as important as those surrounding you. After all, if you are not at your best, you certainly cannot be the best for everyone else.

RESOURCES

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

ben greenfield

How to Combine Family and Fitness for Busy Dads with Ben Greenfield


BEN GREENFIELD is one of the world’s top fitness experts and a father of twin 8-year old boys!

The invisible exerciser. You know, you might be that person: the one who wakes up before the birds, gets cardio and weight training out of the way, then miraculously show back up at home to get the kids up for school and get the rest of the day going. Or maybe you’re the opposite end of the spectrum: you don’t work out at all because you just can’t seem  to find the time to squeeze a workout into your busy schedule. Ben Greenfield, former bodybuilder and author of a multitude of fitness books including, 10 Ways to Grow Tiny Superhumans, joins the GDP to discuss the best ways to get your best workout while including your kids and teaching them the importance of fitness and nutrition.

 

It’s a Way of Life

 

Including exercise as a regular part of your daily routine with your kids teaches them that you believe exercise and taking care of your body is as critical as breathing.Granted, including kids in your workout can be annoying because they may not move at the pace you can or lift quite as much, but you don’t need to include them in the entire activity. For instance, they don’t have to participate in your whole 45 minute workout. Instead, they can join you for a smaller portion and then you can hammer out the rest of your workout.

 

It’s Not Just for the Gym

 

Working out doesn’t always mean you have to have a gym membership. Some of the best workouts can be outside-take a hike with your kids, run sprints up the hill, take a bike ride. It really doesn’t matter what you do, so long as your kids see that moving and exercising is part of your family structure. Why not use the weight of your kids to help get your heart rate up as you do walking lunges? That’s right, put your kid on your back and lunge away! This provides a compound movement that also gives you the extra intensity of having to balance unpredictable weight on your back.

 

Make it a Habit

 

We teach our kids that brushing their teeth at least twice a day is non-negotiable. So, why not teach them that physical fitness is also non-negotiable. If you simply tell them to go out and play or put down the gaming device without practicing what you preach, they won’t be so compelled to do it. But, if this habit is part of your daily ritual, your kids are likely to follow. And what better way to give your kids the fit foundation they need for their adult life than to lay the healthy groundwork right now?

 

RESOURCES

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ben Greenfield:

  • Ben Greenfield Fitness WEBSITE
  • Ben Greenfield BOOKS ON AMAZON
  • Ben Greenfield TWITTER
  • JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%