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failing forward

How to Teach Your Kids Success By Failing Forward

Failing Forward is a powerful life lesson.

As adults, we know we don’t have all of the answers. We fail, we make mistakes,  and we struggle. But if we have the mindset that we can learn from these mistakes and failures, then we persevere and get better. Too many times, though, we get stuck in the pervasive idea that failure is bad, unacceptable; heck, there’s even tag lines quoting “Failure is not an option”. The problem with this thinking is, if failure is not an option, then how do we ever progress forward?

 

Changing our mindset to one of growth, helps us be great examples for our kids on how to tackle their failures. These 6 tips will help uou and your kids achieve your best self.

Failing Forward and Letting Kids Fail

Too many times as parents, we get so impatient with our kids’ ability to finish something in a certain amount of time. We must remember that they are kids and need to,learn. Doing things for our kids teaches them nothing; wait, it does. It teaches them dependency. If our kids can’t learn to be independent and have their own way, of thinking, then we will cripple them in their future.

Change Your View of Failure

Let’s face it, failing is not fun. It is so much more fun to win. Maybe we have been condition to avoid failure at all costs because it is seen as “bad”. What we may not realize is our fear of failure caps our children’s view of what is possible. Instead, we need to help kids learn from their failures.

Model Failing Forward

It’s time to swallow that pride. As difficult as it may be, let your kids see when you fail or share times that you have failed with them. This helps them see that even adults makes mistakes, but the important thing is learning from them. You can even give them examples of others failing forward. When kids see that failure does not occur in a vacuum, they have more freedom to make the mistakes they need to make to grow.

Not Everyone Gets a Trophy

Teach your kids that not everyone wins a trophy. This is a tough one. This Lesson helps kids appreciate the times they do win. Not only that, it helps kids set and work toward a goal. To help your child achieve, ask them questions about how they think they can improve.

Failing Forward Teaches Perseverance

Teach perseverance. Try. Try again. Then, try again. This is grit. When kids learn how to keep going even when it feels like it is impossible, they learn to reach their full potential.

Have a Sense of Humor

The power of having a sense of humor when we make mistakes. Having resiliency through humor when we fail immediately changes our perception of the situation and also shows others that we do not fear failure. Failure is a fact of life. Dealing with it with less drama and more laughter brings more positivity to a situation.

In order for kids to learn to embrace failure, we need to embrace it ourselves. It won’t be an easy road, but definitely worth the ride.  

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on Failing Forward.

time effective

Make Your Time Effective and Unforgettable

Being Time Effective is the best way to be present with our families.  The trick is to be effective with our time and not need more time in the day.

Twenty four hours. That’s what we have. That’s it. We are all equal in this fact. The difference is made when we decide how to divide our given time. Many times, though, we don’t even know where our time went.

Time Effective Means Commit to the Time

When we go into a day without a specific plan, and allow various people, events and our personal devices to hijack our schedules, we find ourselves lost. But, if we decide how we are going to spend our time and stay true to our plans, we feel more accomplished and find that we are accomplishing our goals. At first, it might be a hard habit to establish, but over time, you will find this personal mandate pays off in great rewards.

What’s Important

It’s so easy to allow our personal devices and social media to distract from what we find most important. If time with our family is critical and we spend much of our time physically with our family, but at the same time on our phones, then it’s time to make a decision. Maybe make it a rule that when you are with your family the phones are put away. This action builds an expectation that time together is sacred and that you value each other.
Our lives are busy. Everyone’s life is. With this fact, it’s easy to allow outside factors intrude on our personal goals and the things and people we value. But if we choose to set boundaries with our time and make a concerted effort to value the time of the people we love and care about, then we own our twenty four hours again and take our life back.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned in this Show

GDP Podcast with Jon Vroman

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

Check out our interview with Ruari Fairbains HERE

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on TIME EFFECTIVE powerfully present hacks.

your why

What is Your WHY

Your Why…is it to be your best?  Is it to live a fulfilled life?  To selflessly serve others?  To be financially free?  To be healthy?  What is it?  Chances are you never got really clear on it…now is the time to get clear on your why!

You’re in your car and you’re going to work. You know exactly where you are going and the possible barriers to getting there. You have a mission. If we broaden that perspective to our lives, we might be able to understand and better predict the issues that may come up. Sometimes, though, we lose focus of where we are going or want to go and become bogged down in the everyday tasks that frustrate us. We lose our mission.

Your Why and One Vision

Angry, frustrated, tired. And you wake up then next morning and do it all over again. The same job, the same chores when you get home, the same arguments with your spouse. Then you ask yourself, “why?”.  That’s the right question. Once you’re there, search for your answer.  It’ll take some digging, but once you get to the core, you will have your vision.

Toss the Ego

Your ego may be the biggest challenge to identifying your why. You’ve got to check it at the proverbial door. In order to be the best father, husband and overall man you can be, you have to answer that one question.

Lead by example for you and those who look up to you. Having a why (your vision), will help you keep focus when you start to get off track and will set the stage for a better life.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on YOUR WHY…now go discover it!

powerfully present

8 Ways to Be Powerfully Present with Your Family

Powerfully Present are two words we hear a lot in our society.  However, being powerfully present in the moment has never been more difficult due to all the distractions that we are bombarded with every single moment of every single day.

Powerfully Present Tip #1:  Eye Contact

When you are talking to your partner or child, think to yourself, what color are their eyes? Lock-in the eye contact, and focus on every detail. This will pull your attention out of the fog created by your never-ending task lists, whether it’s the one from your desk or on the fridge. They may still call your out for not listening, but see what kind of response you get to, “I was distracted by your eyes. Those light specks of green in the brown around your pupils are amazing.” (Thanks Larry!)

Powerfully Present Tip #2: Start a Family-time Challenge

Challenge the family to a nominal amount of time with ZERO electronics. If possible start with 5 minutes, but don’t be afraid to start smaller.  The trick to this one, is that you need to keep everyone from watching the clock. “Ring Around the Rosy” is great with our two-year old. She loves the part where we all fall down. (Thanks Brett!)

Powerfully Present Tip #3:  Ask yourself a simple question

Which part of this moment will matter in a year, what I’m thinking or what’s in front of me? This is amazingly effective for me. I’ve been known to literally toss my phone to the other side of the room in response so it is out of reach. Glad I have a good case! (Thanks Paul!)

Powerfully Present Tip #4:  Get down on your child’s level

There are few things that will focus you in the moment like sitting on the floor with your child. If my mind starts to drift, I drop down to eye level and utilize tip #1.  (Thanks Robert!)

Powerfully Present Tip #5:  Ask them to hold your hand

When you are busy/focused on a task and your child approaches, ask them to hold your hand or leg while you wrap up. I tend to finish faster, and often I simply stop because I hear Paul’s question in my head. “Which one of these matter?” (Thanks Lenny!)

Powerfully Present Tip #6:  Learn with them 

Make their hobbies your hobbies, even if that means playing ball boy, packing away the nets, or learning about tendus and pirouettes. If you share common interests it is much easier to retain focus when you spend time together. This works great with children as well as and partners. My wife and I spend a lot of time together building our sites and photography skills. This provides us opportunities to grow together independent of our children. When Cecilia moves out one day, we will have other interests holding us together. (Thanks James!)

Powerfully Present Tip #7:  Share your gratitude 

This is more than saying thank you. It’s about appreciating the contribution your partner and children make to your life. If my mind is wandering, I will use this change it’s direction, and to Erin or Cecilia with me. “My favorite part of the week so far is when we sang songs while riding to daycare.” Or, “Do you remember stopping for coffee last Tuesday morning? That made my week.” Let them know you appreciate the little things you do together as a family.

Powerfully Present Tip #8:   Share a memory

Sometimes it can help to take a trip through time. Tell your children the first, funniest, or favorite memory you have from them growing up. Talk to your spouse about your first date, and what attracted you to the most to them.

How to Start

It’s not easy to juggle the responsibilities of parenting, marriage, and work. It is no wonder that we struggle to stay present. I trust that now you have at least one or two new tools to help you keep your focus during family-time. To help you start using them, and to reduce your distractions, I recommend these simple but effective strategies.

  1. Put your work phone / email on “Do Not Disturb” when you leave the office. This is your time to reset so you are in the right headspace when you arrive at the house.
  2. When you come home from work, pause at the door, think of your intention, and visualize how you want to show up on the other side.
  3. When you enter the home, assess the environment, and enter it where/how you will add the most value. If your partner is fried, grab the kids and let them take a walk. Don’t ask what’s for dinner.
  4. If your mind still begins to wonder, remember this list of focus hacks to pull you back into the present moment.

Surround yourself with positive, like-minded dads struggling and supporting each other. The ever-growing Dad’s Edge Facebook Group is a great source for these connections – look forward to seeing you there!

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with John Zugelder

John is husband, father, writer, and member of the Dad’s Edge Mastermind. He and his wife are the creators of the free 45 Day Positive Mornings Challenge, and they currently live in Sydney, Australia with their toddler. You can also find them on their personal blog, Living EZ.

powerfully present

pay it forward

Pay It Forward and Be a Powerful Force for Good

Pay it forward…a quote that is so powerful in our society.

Treat others as you would like to be treated. Sounds simple enough and is probably something you’ve told your kids a time or two. But when it comes to actual practice, sometimes that old adage is easier said than done. Our own personal agendas or hurts take precedence over kindness to others, as we go along our busy day.

Pay It Forward and The Butterfly Effect

(As it relates to chaos theory) the phenomenon whereby a minute localized change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere (thanks, Google). In other words, the tiny beat of a butterfly wing has tremendous ripple effect on all things surrounding it, thus having a ripple effect on the universe. So, if this is how the small wing of a butterfly can impact the universe, then what impact can a single human interaction have likewise? Remember that person you cut off in traffic this morning (or the person who cut you off)? Think of the feeling you had after you experienced that. Most likely, that feeling carried into your next action and the response of the person on the opposite end carried into their next action.

Change the Paradigm

When we’ve had a morning that seems to go all wrong (the kids didn’t want to wake up, you and your partner had a disagreement, traffic was backed up), it’s easier to let the rest of your day follow suit. Think of the number of times you’ve said something along the lines of, “I just need this day to be over.” Instead of allowing the events in our lives to control how we feel or how we respond, be deliberate in having a positive response even when you feel least like being positive.

 

In this week’s Five Minute Thursday, Larry shares an incredible story of just that: positive human response to an otherwise ugly situation. The beauty of human kindness permeates even the toughest circumstances. It shows that treating others the way we would like to be treated transcends all social and class barriers and reminds us that we all have one thing in common, our humanity.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s episode of Pay It Forward