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how to love a spouse with cancer

How to Love a Spouse with Cancer with Gene Villeneuve

Gene Villeneuve shares his experience with the very difficult subject.

Today on the Good Dad Project, we have Gene Villeneuve, a successful business man who lives in Paris with his wife and two daughters. Last year, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and they have endured 11 months of emotional exhaustion as she has undergone treatment.

It’s more than likely we’ll all watch one of our loved ones facing a deadly illness during our lives. Gene talks about dealing with the pain and uncertainty of watching a spouse go through cancer treatment while keeping his career in balance and still being a good dad to his kids.

Three things he said were crucial to helping him know how to love a spouse with cancer.

1. Create a community of support.

Husbands of cancer patients tend to feel isolated and alone, but you will also need help. Just because you’re not the one with cancer, doesn’t mean you don’t need support.

2. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Self-care might feel selfish during this time, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t be strong for your family. Exercise, good rest, and downtime are needed to restore your mental and physical reserves.

3. Listen to what your spouse needs.

As men, we might have a tendency to worry about filling in the practical gaps, like the keeping up with dirty laundry or washing the dishes in the sink. But in reality, a spouse with cancer is frightened and worried. They need to express themselves, and you need to listen to them on deeper level. Then you can love them in the way they need to be loved during this time.

Gene says he now loves his wife more than ever. He says facing a situation like this makes us realize the things we may have taken for granted. We must ask ourselves, what are the things most important to us? What can we do to show that appreciation?

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Gene Villeneuve’s website – BusinessHealthResults.com

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GENE AKA "JOHNNY DEPP" :)

GENE AKA “JOHNNY DEPP” 🙂

strategic gifts with John Ruhlin

The Art of Giftology: Energize Your Business and Personal Life With Strategic Gifts with John Ruhlin

Strategic Gifts are what we call “Thoughtful Thoughts.”  Giftology author John Ruhlin tells us about the science of strategic gift giving and how it can galvanize your business and personal relationships for years to come.

About John Ruhlin

John Ruhlin is the founder of The Ruhlin Group, a gift logistics company that helps clients like the Chicago Cubs, Wells Fargo, Caesar’s Entertainment, Miami Dolphins, Morgan Stanley, and The John Maxwell Company execute year-round gifting strategies.

John’s unique approach to relationships led him to become the #1 salesman for a $250 Million direct sales company. He now speaks widely about strategic gifting and relationship building and helps CEOs and sales teams drive referrals and open doors to elusive decision makers.

John Ruhlin’s Story

John Ruhlin grew up on an Ohio farm milking goats. An overachiever all his life, John didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do. All he did know was that he didn’t want to be working on a farm for the rest of his life.

John Ruhlin says it only takes one mentor to change your life. As a young man, his mentor was his girlfriend’s dad who showed him what happens with acts of radical generosity. When John got an internship with the Cutco knife company, he achieved great success, not by selling knives, but by applying the psychology of deepening relationships by giving strategic gifts.

Now John Ruhlin sends out $250,000 a year in gifts, spending $200-500 per gift. This may sound crazy, but he says that his prospects’ time is worth that much. His small eight-person firm has landed monstrous companies by radical generosity, and when you take into account how much you might spend on restaurants and events entertaining prospects, Ruhlin’s gift expenditures are not so out of proportion. Colleagues, associates, and clients may not remember the steak they ate or the wine they drank, but a treasured gift will make them remember you again and again. It may be mind-blowing, but it’s actually smarter to reallocate resources for generous gifts instead of spending on trade shows or expensive dinners.

The Philosophy of Giftology

Did you know that giving strategic gifts can make a huge difference in your work and family life? For most men, trying to think of thoughtful gifts feels awkward. This is why guys usually ask wives to choose the gifts. So how can you choose a gift that will leave a meaningful impression that lasts?

The last thing people need is more crap. Most of us are overwhelmed by stuff we don’t need or want. But we all have room in our lives for more artifacts – the types of gifts you would save from a fire or pass down as an heirloom. This type of gifting is not a new idea. It’s old school. Our grandfathers and fathers did it. We’ve just forgotten.

Gifting Fundamentals

  • Get the spouse and family in on it – Knives are used every day in a family’s home to prepare food. This is a very intimate ritual and that is why John has had such success in selling engraved knives. His gifts became part of people’s lives. He says “try to find a gift that becomes part of the fabric of the being of that person.”
  • Make everyone look better – Giving gifts that make an executive look like a hero in front of his wife will win you extra points. Likewise, giving your wife an extraordinary surprise in front of one of her friends will amplify the effect of the gift that much more
  • No logo or promotional slogans – Adding branding or contact info to a gift defaces it.
  • No strings attached – Don’t cheapen the thought be hinting at getting something in return. Make it about the other person and they’ll put the spotlight on you.

More Strategic Gift Tips

  • Personalize the gift with the recipient’s and the spouse’s or family’s name.
  • Make sure the gift is accompanied by a handwritten note.
  • Make sure the gift is the best in its class and will last a lifetime or more.

Gifting your family

It’s more difficult to gift on a personal side, and John Ruhlin admits that he was horrible at gifting his wife, but he also says that men don’t really suck at gifting. They just suck at putting time and attention towards it.

Strategic Gift Tips for Family

  • Gift according to love language – Does your spouse appreciate your time, experiences, time for herself? What are those things your kids always want to do that you never have time for?
  • Gift outside normal times – Giving a gift on Christmas and birthdays is expected. Giving gifts on a random day has more impact because it’s not obligatory.
  • Take notes throughout the year – John Ruhlin listens to his wife and kids whenever they mention things they might like and uses Evernote to save gift ideas for later.

Parting wisdom on being a good dad

John Ruhlin is a traveling entrepreneur and a husband, but he also has three little girls all under the age of 5. As a family, they devote a lot of time and attention to cultivating faith.

He, like many parents, sometimes wondered if it’s sticking, but he has seen the power of pouring in core values at a super early age. His advice is that children’s minds can process much more complex concepts than we give them credit for. “Don’t treat them like they can’t understand.”

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

 

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Connect with John Ruhlin

JohnRuhlin.com

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Giftology on Amazon

Chris Sajnog

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog, retired Navy Seal Sniper and father, comes on teh GDP and talks about lessons learned in the Seal Teams and how it relates to fathers and family.

There are always choices in every moment in our lives. Even when we think we don’t have a choice, we are always responsible for our response. Chris Sajnog, father, husband, former Navy SEAL, author and trainer shows the GDP what it takes to face those choices as our best self.

Chris Sajnog Background and Life

Chris comes from a struggling upbringing, but took those struggles and turned them into a successful life. Overcoming great adversity, Chris has developed a program that motivates individuals and teams to become their best versions. As a father, Chris inspires kids, including his own, to take responsibility for their own actions, through TEAM: Take responsibility, Encourage others, Ask for help, and Master yourself.

Taking Responsibility

It’s not always easy to do; owning our failures is hard. Not owning them, however, doesn’t teach us how to better ourselves. Instead, avoiding ownership simply delays the high probability we will make the same mistake in the future.

Encourage Others

When we help others to nurture their own talents, we are helping the greater cause. Each of us has skills and gifts that support each other; not one of us is completely equipped to handle it all. Encouraging others while sharpening our own talents strengthens the individual while providing a stronger outcome in any situation.

Ask For Help

It’s hard, but necessary. Swallowing your pride to ask when you need a hand shows that you have faith in others and are confident enough in yourself to know when you need an extra hand. Asking for help also helps to avoid embarrassing pitfalls when it’s clear you would have benefitted from another.

Master Yourself

This is critical. When we have a grip on our strengths, weaknesses and emotions, we can handle pretty much anything. When we don’t really know our true limits or how to control ourselves, our world can spiral out of control.

TEAM is not only critical for ourselves, but for those around us. As always, being the model for our children is the best way to teach them how to be their best selves.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog Website

Chris Sajnog Twitter

Chris Sajnog Facebook

Chris Sajnog LinkedIn

Chris Sajnog YouTube

failing forward

How to Teach Your Kids Success By Failing Forward

Failing Forward is a powerful life lesson.

As adults, we know we don’t have all of the answers. We fail, we make mistakes,  and we struggle. But if we have the mindset that we can learn from these mistakes and failures, then we persevere and get better. Too many times, though, we get stuck in the pervasive idea that failure is bad, unacceptable; heck, there’s even tag lines quoting “Failure is not an option”. The problem with this thinking is, if failure is not an option, then how do we ever progress forward?

 

Changing our mindset to one of growth, helps us be great examples for our kids on how to tackle their failures. These 6 tips will help uou and your kids achieve your best self.

Failing Forward and Letting Kids Fail

Too many times as parents, we get so impatient with our kids’ ability to finish something in a certain amount of time. We must remember that they are kids and need to,learn. Doing things for our kids teaches them nothing; wait, it does. It teaches them dependency. If our kids can’t learn to be independent and have their own way, of thinking, then we will cripple them in their future.

Change Your View of Failure

Let’s face it, failing is not fun. It is so much more fun to win. Maybe we have been condition to avoid failure at all costs because it is seen as “bad”. What we may not realize is our fear of failure caps our children’s view of what is possible. Instead, we need to help kids learn from their failures.

Model Failing Forward

It’s time to swallow that pride. As difficult as it may be, let your kids see when you fail or share times that you have failed with them. This helps them see that even adults makes mistakes, but the important thing is learning from them. You can even give them examples of others failing forward. When kids see that failure does not occur in a vacuum, they have more freedom to make the mistakes they need to make to grow.

Not Everyone Gets a Trophy

Teach your kids that not everyone wins a trophy. This is a tough one. This Lesson helps kids appreciate the times they do win. Not only that, it helps kids set and work toward a goal. To help your child achieve, ask them questions about how they think they can improve.

Failing Forward Teaches Perseverance

Teach perseverance. Try. Try again. Then, try again. This is grit. When kids learn how to keep going even when it feels like it is impossible, they learn to reach their full potential.

Have a Sense of Humor

The power of having a sense of humor when we make mistakes. Having resiliency through humor when we fail immediately changes our perception of the situation and also shows others that we do not fear failure. Failure is a fact of life. Dealing with it with less drama and more laughter brings more positivity to a situation.

In order for kids to learn to embrace failure, we need to embrace it ourselves. It won’t be an easy road, but definitely worth the ride.  

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on Failing Forward.

time effective

Make Your Time Effective and Unforgettable

Being Time Effective is the best way to be present with our families.  The trick is to be effective with our time and not need more time in the day.

Twenty four hours. That’s what we have. That’s it. We are all equal in this fact. The difference is made when we decide how to divide our given time. Many times, though, we don’t even know where our time went.

Time Effective Means Commit to the Time

When we go into a day without a specific plan, and allow various people, events and our personal devices to hijack our schedules, we find ourselves lost. But, if we decide how we are going to spend our time and stay true to our plans, we feel more accomplished and find that we are accomplishing our goals. At first, it might be a hard habit to establish, but over time, you will find this personal mandate pays off in great rewards.

What’s Important

It’s so easy to allow our personal devices and social media to distract from what we find most important. If time with our family is critical and we spend much of our time physically with our family, but at the same time on our phones, then it’s time to make a decision. Maybe make it a rule that when you are with your family the phones are put away. This action builds an expectation that time together is sacred and that you value each other.
Our lives are busy. Everyone’s life is. With this fact, it’s easy to allow outside factors intrude on our personal goals and the things and people we value. But if we choose to set boundaries with our time and make a concerted effort to value the time of the people we love and care about, then we own our twenty four hours again and take our life back.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned in this Show

GDP Podcast with Jon Vroman

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

Check out our interview with Ruari Fairbains HERE

Thanks for checking out this week’s show on TIME EFFECTIVE powerfully present hacks.