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GDP 134 - Becoming a Legendary Man with Nate Lind

Becoming a Legendary Man with Nate Lind

My guest is mega-successful entrepreneur and thought leader, Nate Lind. Nate is a husband, a father, and the founder of Legendary Man. At the age of thirty-seven Nate has already experienced huge successes and crushing failures, to the point where he considered suicide. He is here to tell us about depression in men and why openness, vulnerability, and building a tribe are more powerful than the outdated lone wolf idea of masculinity.

Nate’s Story

Nate Lind is the youngest of six siblings, among two older boys and three older girls. His dad was in the army and they moved a lot. Because of this, Nate learned how to make friends quickly even though he was a total nerd growing up. Nate was overweight, soft, and squishy. He wasn’t into sports. Instead, he liked video games and Boy Scouts.  During three or four years while he was in middle school he would spend one weekend a month camping in Kansas. The weather in the Midwest could be scorching and humid, or freezing cold. This helped Nate learn how to deal with the elements.

Computers were huge in his childhood. Nate says he was born into analog and converted into digital. Kids his age had to know basic coding principals just to fix a glitchy game. His passion for computers led him to pursue a computer animation degree in college. Nate says he was on the robotic college path–degree, job, marriage, retirement. But after college, he was burnt out with computers. He became more interested in interaction with people. Then he read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and focused on how to provide for himself and his future family.

Nate’s Family Today

Nate has been married for fourteen years and has two kids. He says his wife is super-smart and a force to be reckoned with. She is also motivated, passionate, and has the ability to provide for the family. Nate says he and his wife both share a strong sense of morals. When they met on the internet on Match.com, she was an enlisted Marine.

They dated for a few years before getting married. Nate was flipping houses at the time. Then the housing market dove just as they find out they were pregnant.

Nate was mentally devastated. He experienced that deep-seated failure as a man from not being able to provide. Luckily, his wife was able to take care of the bills, but Nate clearly remembers snapping at her. He hadn’t seen a paycheck in months and was a total jerk. Nate learned that repressing feelings is what he naturally did, but maintaining a stoic appearance would make him explode.

Nate also remembers that he didn’t have a tribe for a long time. He suffered in silence and failure alone.

You beat yourself up, instead of looking at where you are and where you’re going ahead.

On Tribe

Nate’s current success is built on his line of beard products. You can see that his beard is impossible to avoid talking about. After he first started growing his beard, he would go to beard contests to meet the men who were his customers. Nate found himself adopted into a sort of bearded tribe and this camaraderie became the bread crumbs that lead to creating the Legendary Man online community.

Champions embody the timeless stories and journeys that all men share. They represent the roles we play in life, the paths we walk, the lessons we learn, and the way we interact. Identifying and understanding your champion is key to starting your journey. 

Most guys are oblivious to their capability to reflect on what is causing the problems in their life. They place blame outside of themselves and avoid taking responsibility. This mindset puts them in a low-power position. That is why a tribe is so important. Not only is it a support system, but members will see your blind spots and let you know when you’re sabotaging yourself.

Becoming a Legendary Man

Nate says that failures are part of the hero’s journey, and the hero’s journey is not something we watch over and over again in movies. There is a reason this mythology has lived within our cultures forever. We live it.

You are on a journey, you prepare, you fight, you overcome, and then you return home. You will get a period of rest to integrate what you learned and share that treasure with your family or community, but that doesn’t mean you live happily ever after. Something bubbles back up again. It’s your unconscious letting you know that it’s time to go back out there and challenge yourself.

The New Masculinity

The old idea of masculinity is literally killing men. Middle-aged, white men are the highest suicide rate demographic. It’s taboo for guys  to become depressed and to fall into such a weak state to want to kill themselves, and this is why they don’t reach out for help.

Nate has been there. He thought about suicide several times throughout his career. But he felt an urge welling inside him and reached out for help. He took action. He told himself, even if worse came to worse, and he had to shut down his company that he had his health, his kids, and his wife. He would make it through.

It is totally normal to go through ups and downs in life. It’s your unconscious telling you it’s time to make a change. 

Biggest Lesson of Fatherhood

Nate says his sons will do exactly what he does, and nothing he tells them to do.

Teaching by doing is so much more powerful than lecturing.

On Being a Husband

Nate focused so much on taking care of his family financially, that he didn’t spend time enjoying them.

They didn’t want just a provider. They wanted me.

Advice to Himself 

Nate says that we as dads have an absolute responsibility to raise a different generation of men. He warns not to tell your boys to man up and hold in their feelings. Give messages to your kids on how to be tough through experiences. Camping and hiking teach them what toughness means as opposed to drilling it into them and making them feel that they have to prove something to dad.

To the Man Who Doesn’t Have a Tribe

There is a band there waiting for you. You just have to be willing to allow yourself to be embraced. Opening up to a community is not as hard as it seems.

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

The Art of Charm and Professional Relationships with Jordan Harbinger

Working to Live, Not Living to Work with Aaron Walker


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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

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relentless success

Relentless Success Through Triumph and Tragedy with Todd Stottlemyre

As you know, Todd Stottlemyre is a 3-time World Series MLB pitcher. You loved his last interview on The Good Dad Project. In this powerful episode, I sit with Todd face-to-face as he opens up about the most painful moment in his life, how he fought the enemy within himself, and what elements have helped him in his pursuit of relentless success.

Todd Stottlemyre

Todd Stottlemyre, author and speaker, has a passion for coaching how to win at the highest levels in business and personal life. Todd’s process demonstrates how lofty ambitions are achievable when you follow the sequential steps in his proven success system.

Todd is a former major league baseball pitcher where he played for 15 seasons and participated in three World Championships. He played for the Toronto Blue Jays, Oakland Athletics, St Louis Cardinals, Texas Rangers, and the Arizona Diamondbacks. Todd received the prestigious Branch Ricky Award and the Lou Gehrig Award. After his baseball career, Todd had a career in finance building an asset management business at a high-profile Wall Street firm. Todd lives in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife Erica and their five beautiful children.

The second you become prey to others’ opinions, your goals and dreams become the dreams of those people.

Todd spent his childhood going to Yankee Stadium with his dad, Mel Stottlemyre. He grew up amid other legendary baseball players and considers himself very lucky to have had such a wonderful experience. His father never pushed his brother and him to become baseball players. His parents wanted them to focus on doing whatever it was they enjoyed, but Todd wanted nothing more than to become a pitcher like his dad, and he did.

Despite having a childhood many boys would dream of, the family endured an unfathomable loss when Todd’s younger brother, Jason, was diagnosed with leukemia. Jason went through a few years of treatments and remission periods, but eventually the disease hit full-force and a bone marrow transplant was the only hope. Todd was the best match and went into surgery to have his marrow removed and given to his brother.

The transplant appeared to be a success. His brother was running around the hospital and the doctors were preparing for Jason to go home, but Todd would never get his little brother back. Two days before his release, Jason fell into a coma and died shortly afterward. Todd says that driving back home without his brother was the worst drive a person could ever make, and that beyond the sadness was hatred and guilt that his bone marrow was rejected by his brother’s body.

Todd says his brother was his greatest teacher because he never felt sorry for himself, he never quit. Todd decided he would never give up on anything and was determined to not let anything keep him from his dreams. This became his greatest driver in all his pursuits in live, but he did also have to get some help to move past his guilt and pain.

He taught me how to die.

Todd talks about the lives of all the others that poured into his – his dad, his mentors, and those who contributed to his success and helped him through his failures. His book, Relentless Success: 9-Point System for Major League Achievement is coming out on July 1st, 2017.

Listen to Todd’s first interview – Breaking the World of Impossible with Todd Stottlemyre


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Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Todd Stottlemyre’s Links

toddofficial.com

madeforsuccess.com

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How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Warren Petersen is the author of Becoming a Significant Man and he’s also a husband and a father to four kids. This is an important show about pulling ourselves out of the mud after losing everything, and how to protect our daughter physically, mentally, and emotionally in the world we live in today.

Warren Petersen

After the painful loss of his home, business, income, life savings, and even his own identity as a man, Warren Peterson was determined to use his experience and calling to help others. He founded Significant Man, an organization focused on leading men towards becoming the husbands, fathers, and leaders they were created to be. He loves teaching and mentoring men, seeing the changes in their lives, and the positive results in their families.

Warren was your stereotypical entrepreneurial success story. He ran an information security business and opened offices in Chicago, London, and Singapore. He was flown all over the world and traveled in limos to speaking gigs. Most men would say he was living the dream, until the recession hit. Warren lost his business, his house, his self-respect–everything.

Warren became so depressed that he considered ending it all. He felt worthless and that the best he could do was leave his life insurance money for his family. Eventually, he realized his role in his own downfall and that he had been riding the wave instead of steering his life with intention. He decided to make a choice to have faith and to start making choices based on his passion and purpose. Warren got knocked down as far as a man can get knocked down, and now he uses part of his experience to help other men.

If you’re laying in the mud, ask yourself which way are you looking? You can look down into the darkness, or you can roll over and look at the sky.

Protecting Your Daughters

Warren Petersen has three daughters. The youngest is 9 years old and the oldest is in her twenties. All dads are tempted to lock up their daughters and guard the house with a shotgun, but Warren says they will be going out into the world. We shouldn’t be paranoid and afraid. We should be smart. He believes we must protect our daughters in 3 crucial ways. As fathers, we must protect them physically, protect their heart, and protect them from today’s culture.

1. Protect Your Daughter Physically

Protecting our daughters physically is the most natural instinct fathers have. It starts from the earliest years, like when we tell them not to touch the stove. As they grow older, we warn them not to walk home alone in the dark and to have situational awareness. When they get to driving age we have to protect them by telling them to wear their seatbelt and not to text and drive. Other things dads need to do to protect their daughters is to make sure they know that they can fight back. Most girls don’t know that it’s okay. Tell her that she must fight to protect herself and maybe even take a self-defense class with her.

2. Protect Your Daughter’s Heart

Protecting our little girl’s heart is more challenging. A hardened heart is dangerous. We have to watch for signs as she grows up. We need to pay attention to her friends, her hobbies, and the music she listens to. Where does she spend her time online? We must investigate. Rarely does a child have a personality change without some influence in her life. We have to be observant and keep digging until we find the toxic friendship or event.

Also, we can’t run away from conversations about sex. Most dads leave this up to the moms, but we as dads, have a unique, powerful voice in the life of our daughters. If we avoid these tough discussions, we reinforce the idea that these are topics she should be scared of. Dads have to talk about boys and sex–not as a lecture, but an open honest conversation.

3. Protect Your Daughter in Our Culture

Our world has changed drastically with the advent of the internet. This new world is highly sexualized. Many dads are surprised to know how sexual ideas are shaped by porn.

We need to face the fact that this is the world our daughters are growing up in now.  The ideas of love, intimacy, the slow building of relationships–all these things are gone. Sex equals porn, where there is no romance or love story. Sex becomes disassociated with the relationships your daughter craves, but because it is so pervasive, girls think it’s the norm.

As awkward as it is, it’s up to us as dads to open the conversation. We have to teach the difference between love and sex. We must make sure our daughter understands respect, modesty, honor, and love. We must be the rock for her, not the judge.

 

Related Episode: How to Raise Strong, Confident, Resilient Girls with Bas Rutten


Get a free audio book and a one month trial by visiting audible.com/gooddad.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Warren Petersen’s links

Amazon – Becoming a Significant Man

Website – significantman.com

Facebook

 


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

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taking risks for a life of fulfillment

Taking Risks for a Life of Fulfillment

In our last episode, we talked with Sam Weinman about how to win at losing, how to succeed when we fail, and how to learn from defeat. I want to recap on this because the fear of losing is one of the most popular topics discussed in our Dad’s Edge Private Facebook Group. A lot of guys are afraid of taking risks and doing something new. We’re afraid of failing. We hold back because we think we’re not good enough.

But, think about it.

What would life would be like if you took no risks?

What if you always knew what exactly what would happen?

Would you be afraid?

No. You would have certainty. You would know the outcome of every situation in life. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

No, really think about it.

Absolute certainty would be a curse. You would be bored without any challenges or surprises, and life would be unfulfilling.

So start today.

Do something that scares you a little.

In order to live life to the fullest, we must take risks, get our hands dirty, and fail.

 

Referenced Episode: How to Teach Our Kids to Win at Losing with Sam Weinman

 


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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win at losing

How to Teach Our Kids to Win at Losing with Sam Weinman

On today’s episode of The Good Dad Project, Sam Weinman tells us how to talk to our kids about failure and how to win at losing by using defeat as fertile ground for growth.

Sam Weinman

SAM WEINMAN is the digital editor of Golf Digest. Prior to that, he was a senior writer for The Journal News in Westchester County, New York, where he was honored with multiple national writing awards for his coverage of the PGA Tour and the National Hockey League. His work has also appeared in USA Today, Golf World, Yahoo! Sports, ESPN the Magazine, and Sports Illustrated. A graduate of the University of New Hampshire, he lives with his wife and two sons in Rye, New York, where he coaches multiple youth sports teams.

Win at Losing

Win at Losing is an engaging, inspiring exploration of the surprising value of setbacks—and how we can use them to succeed. Sam Weinman wrote this book with his kids in mind. He has two boys aged 9 and 11, and watched them struggle with losing. It was a theme he found himself revisiting with them whenever they experienced disappointment in school, sports, or friends. Sam knew that there was an upside to losing and he wanted to impress that concept on his boys with tangible examples. He set out to meet people who lost and benefitted from it, and this became the foundation for win at Losing.

Sam Weinman says he was always drawn to the losing athletes more than the winners and highlights examples of people who experienced epic failure, but persevered through it and became better people as a result.

Talking to Kids About Losing

Winning Isn’t Everything – To some degree we all live vicariously through our children and we sometimes enjoy their victories as much as they do. It’s human nature to celebrate success. Because of this, when our kids lose and there is no praise or celebration, it conveys a message that they aren’t worth as much. Don’t focus on the outcomes. Praise the effort. You may not even want to attend all your kids’ events so your children will know that their value is not derived from how they perform in school or sports.

Encourage Them to Try Their Best – It’s important for kids to learn to process disappointment in a way that’s not just self-pity and feeling worthless. As dads, we must learn how to effectively have conversations with our kids so they know that it’s okay to fail and that there is huge value in giving their best.

But Use “Try Your Best” Lightly – We need our kids to understand that life is about results. They will always be accountable to a grade or score. Just saying they did their best is not enough. There is effort, and there’s real effort. There must be exertion there, and the older ours kids get, the more they will be able to tell deep down inside whether they gave it their all or not.

Don’t Push Too Hard – We want to push encourage kids to succeed, and we should be critical about them not giving their full effort, but there is a fine line to be aware of. If we push too much, we can burn them out and turn them off. Sam says he checks in with his sons and asks them if he’s too hard on them. One his sons is receptive to being pushed and tells him it’s okay, while his other son takes too much pushing as criticism. Each child is different.

Remember This Above All – In a lifetime with your child, sports will likely be a small part of your relationship. Make sure you’re not damaging the overall bond you have with your child by pushing them to hard.

Sam Weinman’s Dad Wisdom

As dads, we need to resist the urge to try to solve all our kids’ problems. When we give into this urge, we are taking away their ability to solve problems on their own. They need the skills to work through challenges and the only way they learn this by making mistakes.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Sam Weinman’s Links

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Amazon

Golf Digest


The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach

Learn how to coach baseball right with 7 days of FREE access.