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Parenting ADHD and Autism with Penny Williams

Being a parent challenges us in every way. Parenting an ADHD or Autistic child is even more challenging. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals and the constant struggle can make you feel frustrated, stuck and hopeless.

Today we have Penny Williams on The Dad Edge. She’s a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey.

Through her podcast, award-winning books, online parent training programs, parent coaching, and mom retreats, Penny has helped thousands of families survive and thrive in the face of ADHD. Penny says the key is not to learn how to change your child, but how to change yourself.

In this episode, she teaches the mindset and parenting skills, insights, tools, and strategies, to understand your child’s behavior and help them to interact with the world in the best way possible.

This show is a revelation for all dads and moms. Empower yourself with the training you need to be the parent you child needs.

“Your kid is not giving you a hard time, he is having a hard time.”—Penny Williams

Penny Williams

A self-proclaimed “veteran” parent of a son with ADHD, Penny Williams is the creator of the award-winning website, parentingadhdandautism.com, and a frequent contributor on parenting a child with ADHD for ADDitude Magazine, Healthline, and other parenting and special needs publications.

“I endured a long learning curve when my son was diagnosed with ADHD,” says Williams. “I share my experiences parenting my son, Ricochet, in the hopes of shortening that painful time of trial by fire for others.” Williams says she gains strength in parenting Ricochet through a quote from Albert Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Williams’ first book, Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, is an Amazon best-seller and a USA Best Book Awards winner. Her second book, What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD, won the Psychology & Mental Health category of the 2015 International Book Awards.

Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Most books on ADHD don’t dare expose the genuine grit of the moment-by-moment peaks and valleys of this special parenthood — the gut-wrenching, crying on the bathroom floor, feeling like you’re losing your mind truth of the matter that is learning to successfully parent a child with ADHD. Boy Without Instructions changes that.

Williams shares her unfiltered thoughts and emotions during her progression through this learning curve during this harrowing ride. Right before your eyes, this initially grief-stricken momma transforms from obsessed-with-ADHD control-freak and helicopter mom to optimistic and (mostly) confident parent of a child who happens to have ADHD. Boy Without Instructions validates your grief and guilt, yet reveals that it’s truly possible to craft a (mostly) joy-filled life for your child with ADHD, yourself, and your family.

What You’ll Learn

  • Behavior looks like disrespect and opposition on the surface, but it’s really your child struggling.
  • We want our kids to reflect on us that we are a good parent, but we must address why the behavior is happening instead of the behavior itself.
  • Acknowledge that your kid’s emotions are real for them.
  • If we don’t allow our kids to be who they are, we’re not supporting them to ever discover themselves. They will feel like we don’t love them just the way they are.
  • When we decide and try to control what is good behavior, we don’t give room for anything else.
  • There is a big difference between trying to guide our kids and changing them.
  • Our kids are trying 10 times harder than we see on the surface.
  • Parents are the scaffolding on which kids grow.
  • The more we protect and try to avoid difficult situations, the more opportunities kids lose to learn how to cope. They only learn to avoid discomfort.
  • Teach them to be able to get through something uncomfortable.
  • Step back enough to let them make mistakes.
  • Set your values apart from your parenting rules.
  • Bad behavior feels personal and against us, but it’s not.
  • The difference between tantrums and meltdowns
  • Dealing with other parents’ judgement
  • Set expectations before doing something like going to the grocery store.
  • How to tune into why your kid is acting out—sensory overload, tired, hungry, struggling…
  • Use empathy instead of authority.
  • What’s the difference between parenting kids with and without ADHD? Nothing.
  • Allow natural consequences instead of punitive punishment.
  • Kids will be hyperaware if they are being treated different from their siblings. Set one parenting plan for the whole house with values and boundaries.
  • Kindness is always the right way. Everything comes from there.
  • Giving ourselves grace—We will fail. When we give ourselves permission to be human and make a mistake, we give our kids permission.
  • Working “the calm muscle”
  • You matter too. We can only do good for others when we feel good ourselves. When you feel good, the house feels good.
  • We give less to our kids when we do not practice self-care.
  • Why it’s important to have a tribe to lean on and learn from as an ADHD/autism parent

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Parenting Your ADHD Kid with Confidence Angela Pruess

Strategy Guide for Parenting ADHD Kids with Brian King


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Penny William’s Links

parentingadhdandautism.com

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monty heath

The Full Monty: Dad-Life as an Ex-Navy SEAL with Monty Heath


Becoming our best selves is a choice. We can choose to watch life pass us by, sleepwalking to our deathbeds full of regret. Or we can make the decision to take destiny into our own hands, leaving a distinct mark on the world.

Today we have former Navy SEAL Monty Heath on The Dad Edge Podcast. Monty made the choice to leave the Navy SEALs before getting married and starting his family. He talks about how keeping calm is the most effective and important way to operate in life. He reveals how closely he came to divorce and the choice he made to never quit on his marriage. Monty also discusses his approach to dad life and teaches us how we can keep cool and rational through the inevitable chaos of fatherhood.

“I want to raise kids who are better than me.”—Monty Heath

Monty Heath

In 1993, Monty Heath became a U.S. Navy SEAL, completing one of his lifelong goals. He was fortunate enough to serve alongside America’s finest in Operations Enduring Freedom and Joint Forge. Monty credits SEAL Team Two and Red Squadron as adding significance to everything else he would do in life. During his service, Monty was twice awarded the Bronze star with combat Valor designation.

After eleven years of faithful service, Monty left the SEALS (admittedly one of the most difficult things he’s ever done) to start a family and change focus to the civilian sector. Through the years, he has lead a variety of successful military and civilian endeavors, including supervising the U.S. Navy’s SEAL mentorship program and BUD/S preparatory program. He has provided executive protection for several Forbes 400 individuals and their families. He is truly honored to be helping those he feels need and deserve it the most – America’s veterans and service members.

“Calm people are the best people.”—Monty Heath

What You’ll Learn

  • Monty considered himself to be an immature warrior.
  • The difference between approaching life with a subjective or objective mindset.
  • Avoid conflict when one or both sides are emotional instead of logical.
  • Monty’s advice to his younger self—You don’t have to classify and quantify everything in your sight. Mostly, people don’t want your unsolicited opinions and advice. If they did, they would ask you for it.
  • Seek mentorship and knowledge. Sometimes you have to step into the thick of it to grow.
  • Why Monty didn’t try to have kids until he felt he was ready
  • In life, try to get “mission focus.” Keep your eyes on the future and the goal, and all the pieces of uncomfortableness are just hoops you need to jump through to get there.
  • How to use empathy to help people in a heightened emotional state
  • The emotion/logic seesaw—We cannot judge people for their visceral reactions. Meet them where they are in their feelings and validate them.
  • Growing up in a dysfunctional family helped Monty in keeping calm through his experiences as a Navy SEAL.
  • How Monty and his wife have beat the odds when it comes to their marriage after being on the brink of divorce many times.
  • It’s a conscious decision to be married and monogamous.
  • Monty believes life is about more than casual sex. It’s better to have a wife, friend, and partner.
  • He credits his wife for putting up with his caveman antics for so long.
  • Marriage—If you love each other, then it’s worth it.
  • Choice—Tomorrow has nothing to do with today. You can choose to do something to make yourself better. Apply time, effort, and discipline.
  • Anything worth doing is hard. If you’re out of your comfort zone, you’re doing it right.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Staring Down the Wolf with ex-Navy SEAL Mark Divine

Warrior Toughness for Real Life with Navy SEAL Stephen Drum

COVID-19: How to Protect and Lead Your Family Through Crisis with Retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

 


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Monty Heath’s Links

thefullmonty.net

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communication mastery for fathers

Communication Mastery for Fathers with Chris Voss


Get ready to be trained to communicate and negotiate by the most qualified man in the country.

Chris Voss is the former Chief Negotiating Officer of the FBI, the CEO & Founder of the Black Swan Group, and the author of Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.

Chris is back on the show to tell us some surprising things about communication based on decades of experience, modern psychology, and neuroscience. He explains why we want to get people to say “no” instead of “yes” and teaches us advanced techniques for developing tactical empathy. Chris also reveals the skill set we need for communication mastery as fathers, arming us with the tools we need to be effective leaders in our households and communities.

“When you negotiate properly, you allow the other side to have your way.”—Chris Voss

Chris Voss

Chris Voss is CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of the national best-seller “Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It,” which was named one of the seven best books on negotiation. A 24-year veteran of the FBI, Chris retired as the lead international kidnapping negotiator. Drawing on his experience in high-stakes negotiations, his company specializes in solving business communication problems using hostage negotiation solutions. Their negotiation methodology focuses on discovering the “Black Swans,” small pieces of information that have a huge effect on an outcome. Chris and his team have helped companies secure and close better deals, save money, and solve internal communication problems.

Chris has been featured in TIME, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Inc., Fast Company,
Fortune, The Washington Post, SUCCESS Magazine, Squawk Box, CNN, ABC News and
more.

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.

After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.

Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why you always want to get a person to say ‘no’ first.
  • The fallacy of micro-agreements
  • Why people feel like they’ve been taken hostage when you convince them to say “yes”
  • People feel safe, protected, in control, and ready to move forward when they are given space to say “no.”
  • Without action, agreement is useless.
  • The 3 Yeses: Commitment, confirmation, and counterfeit
  • What is tactical empathy
  • Why tactical empathy is a self-reinforcing skill
  • Why empathy is neither sympathy nor agreement
  • Moving from denial to observation when listening to another’s side
  • You get rid of the elephant in the room by admitting it’s there.
  • Over-demonizing a problem will diminish it.
  • Calling out negatives is an effective way to communicate with people.
  • Genuine curiosity is a highly positive state of mind.
  • The “flow state” and other positive states of mind make you smarter.
  • Gamifying allows you to detach from stressful situations and helps you to perform better.
  • How to use your tone of voice
  • No matter how a discussion ends, people appreciate integrity.
  • The difference between someone telling you “you’re right” and “that’s right”
  • How someone uses the phrase “you’re right” to create distance
  • How getting someone to say “that’s right” triggers oxytocin
  • The magic of the one-sentence email (that triggers a “no”)

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Art of Negotiating with Your Kids with Chris Voss


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Chris Voss’s Links

blackswanltd.com

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Chris Voss’s Newsletter: Text “black swan method” to 33777

Chris Voss’s Masterclass

Resources

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confident mentally tough daughters

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy


What kind of father do we need to be to raise girls into strong, empathetic, and emotionally resilient women? Today’s show is all about how to raise confident, mentally tough daughters.

Emily McCarthy is a former case officer for the CIA and the cofounder of GORUCK, a brand with Special Forces roots that leads backpacking events all over the world.

Emily lost her father when she was just getting out of college. It was a devastating blow, but the foundation he laid will echo for generations.

Emily talks about how her dad gamified safety and defense so she would always be ready to protect herself and others. She also talks about the many ways her father showed up in her life that made her into the incredible woman she is today.

Emily’s story is proof of the ripple effect a father leaves on his children’s lives, even if his time is cut short. Don’t miss this moving episode.

My father was a big part of my life because he showed up.

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters

  • What it was like for Emily to witness her father dying
  • The void left by the pillar of the family
  • In the wake of his death, she traveled the world as a language teacher.
  • How Emily’s father taught her and her brother important lessons veiled in fun activities
  • How her dad showed them to protect themselves through the gamification of safety and defense
  • How Emily’s father expected her to protect her brother and anyone who needed help
  • The many large and small ways her dad showed up for her
  • Emily’s father technique to train her “not to be a wuss”
  • How Emily’s father’s lessons helped her through bullying
  • How to instill healthy fear in your children
  • If you shelter a child too much, they will not have the healthy fear to protect themselves.
  • The unusual relationship between her and her husband/GORUCK cofounder, Jason
  • How once, in 5 years of their marriage, they never lived together
  • Her experience as a case officer for the CIA post-911
  • The happy accident of the GORUCK idea
  • How GORUCK events make people excited about life and bring about a sense of community
  • The benefits of GORUCK Events for parents and kids
  • How kids in a group setting self-correct­­–”the village teaches”
  • Rucking is just like life–you don’t know what to expect.
  • How Emily sees her father in her children, even though they never met him.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Being a Coach, a Dad, and Raising Strong Daughters with Bret Johnson

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Emily McCarthy’s Links

gooddadproject.com/goruck

Find a GORUCK Club

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

 


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Resources

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Modern Survival for Dads

Modern Survival for Dads with Mike Glover

For many of us, it’s a challenge just to get through the day. We’re stuck on the hamster wheel, running as fast as we can to nowhere. Not only do we lack clarity around our paths in life, but we also lack situational awareness when it comes to the daily environment around us. The world is not always a safe place, and complacency is deadly.

Today we have Mike Glover on the show. He’s an ex-Special Forces soldier, the host of the Modern Mindset 365 Podcast, and the founder of Fieldcraft Survival, where he teaches everyday people how to be prepared for any catastrophic event, accident, or natural disaster.

Mike teaches us modern survival for dads, which includes being empathetic, resilient, and deliberate in our actions. He also talks about how to protect our families and teach our kids what to do when their lives are in danger.

“Small victories accumulate into success.”—Mike Glover

Mike Glover

Mike Glover spent most of his life in the Army serving as an infantryman and Special Forces soldier. He started his career as a Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier where he learned Honor and Respect. After September 11th he tried out for US Special Forces where he served the remainder of his career in multiple positions including: Sniper, JTAC, Recon NCO, Team Sgt, Sgm, Breacher. He developed his mindset and the practice that he teaches today during his combat rotations in austere environments all over the world.

After being promoted to Sergeant Major in Special Forces, he began contracting with the US Government operating overseas, protecting government officials in dangerous environments. After his service and contracting days, he started a successful business called Fieldcraft Survival dedicated to training civilians, Law Enforcement, and Military personnel for the worst case scenario.

Mindset is Mike’s passion. He believes that it’s a tangible tactic that can be taught and made more resilient with training and an open mind.

What You’ll Learn

  • Mike Glover’s start in the military at the age of seventeen
  • Why Mike left his military career to create his business and start a family
  • Mike’s dream to start a brewery
  • How he got the idea to specialize in modern survival
  • How Mike’s parents’ divorce when he was five was beneficial to him
  • How his mom was the disciplinarian, and his dad was the emotional, compassionate parent
  • Mike’s fascination with the Hollywood depiction of men in the Special Forces
  • His issues in adolescence when he became rebellious, dropped out of school, and joined the service
  • Details on his grueling training for the Special Forces
  • How being stubborn got him through it
  • About his brand new baby twins, Ben and Penelope
  • How a child with unmet needs will turn into a needy person and set them up for failure
  • How he plans to balance his toughness with empathy when raising his kids
  • His commitment to being conscious and readily available with his kids in the present moment
  • His advice for distracted and stressed dads on how to be present with family
  • How to deliberately schedule the time you will spend with your children to set you up for success
  • How not having time to spend with your family is a task organization failure
  • How Mike holds himself accountable
  • How to overcome discomfort
  • Accepting the feeling that you’re failing as part of life
  • Using tactical patience—not to expect things to be resolved instantaneously, but learning to sit, think, and renegotiate
  • Situational awareness—what should the average guy be aware of when out with his family?
  • How routines make you complacent to dangers, crimes, accidents, disasters
  • To be prepared for the worst-case scenario, you need to deliberately plan like a soldier.
  • Staying focused and conscious of your actions (not operating on autopilot)
  • Why kids are the first ones to die in catastrophe
  • Protecting your kids by showing them how to cognitively process information and make decisions
  • How to develop scenarios for your kids and have them practice making fast, smart decisions in an emergency
  • When is it appropriate for a bullied kid to defend himself? When is it best for him to run away?

“Your thoughts and ideas are nothing without action.”—Mike Glover

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Fighting the Battle Within with Chad Robichaux

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

The Ranger Way with Kris ‘Tanto’ Paronto


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Mike Glover’s Links

mikesmindset.com

fieldcraftsurvival.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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