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What Kind of Father Do You Want to Be?

What Kind of Father Do You Want to Be?


We have two choices when we become a dad. Are we going to be like our fathers? Or are we going to try to be different. Some men have a good sense of what a good dad should be by watching their fathers. Other men are trying to break a pattern of bad fathering, whether it be addiction, anger, or complete absence.

On today’s short show we have Dad Edge Alliance member Andy Nelson. He is a divorced dad who admits that he was not there mentally for his kids or their mother. He knew he had to break the pattern of his father’s parenting and began to proactively improve his relationship with both his kids and his ex-wife.

Andy tells us how he developed a framework to change his life and how he succeeded by focusing on his goals instead of running away from what he didn’t want.

'You have to embrace all your feelings. You won’t feel the extreme highs without the extreme lows.'—Andy Nelson #fatherhood #mentalhealth #menshealth #gratitude Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop

Dad Edge Alliance Q&A – Gary John Bishop on Fatherhood

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

 

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 Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Dad Edge Alliance


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Becoming a Legendary Couple After the Kids


Most of us say that our marriage is a priority, and usually it starts off well, but then the kids come. Time alone with our spouses becomes rare. Our children’s needs must constantly be met. Life gets hectic and patience runs thin. The happily ever after we imagined can turn into a nightmare.

This is an episode all dads and moms need to hear. Today we have our first couple on The Dad Edge podcast. Lance and Brandy are the creators of Legendary Couples. Their marriage deteriorated after the birth of their two daughters, very nearly ending in divorce. But they took action to save their marriage and now teach other couples how to cultivate that legendary love again.

'People expect marriage to exist. If you want your marriage to be amazing, you have to take those same priority principles from your business and health and you have to create a vision, a real plan.'—Lance Salazar, Legendary Couples… Click To Tweet

Lance and Brandy’s Story

Lance and Brandy Salazar got married thirteen years ago, ready to embark on their happily ever after together. At first, they were able to fit romance into their lives, but when they had kids, it pushed their relationship totally out of their schedule.

Lance and Brandy were on the fast track to divorce. At on point, Brandy was so fed up she couldn’t even stand Lance breathing next to her. This is the story of so many couples. What causes a marriage to end up this way?

In one final extraordinary effort, Lance and Brandy decided to try to make the marriage work. They knew it would take a radical approach, but they learned as they went along. They worked together to completely change their lives and make the relationship between each other and their kids truly legendary.

'You are responsible for your own happiness. Your spouse is not responsible for that.'—Legendary Couples #couples #marriage #husband #wife #love #relationships #selflove #momlife #dadlife Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why they moved from a large, affluent home to a small farm house with one bathroom
  • How to transform from being a victim to a participant in your relationship
  • The danger of attaching to expectations
  • How to identify the mini-habits that add up to big wins with your spouse
  • How many of us never have identified what we want and need
  • How the energy you bring with you affects your relationships
  • How to change your energy before connecting with your spouse and children
  • How to identify your children’s emotional triggers
  • How to find the key to diffusing each personality in your family
  • Why liking yourself is crucial for deep connection and love
  • What is a service mindset and why we benefit from adopting it
  • What is a connection map and how to use it
  • Advice for those who’ve tried everything and their marriage still fails
'It’s not a journey of perfection; evolving can be messy.'—Legendary Couples #marriage #family #relationships #connection Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Making Moments for Your Family with Jon Vroman


Magnesium Matters.

Special link for listeners:

SLOWMAG.COM/GOODDAD

slowmag


We appreciate all the support!

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to click here and leave an itunes review.

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Lance and Brandy’s Links

Get your connection maps at gooddadproject.com/connectionmap

legendarycouples.com

Facebook

Instagram


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join us in The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

Twitter @gooddadprojct

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Using the Past to Become a Better Dad with Former NFL Player Billy Miller

Using the Past to Become a Better Dad with Former NFL Player Billy Miller

Today we are psyched to have Former NFL player and Super Bowl Champion Billy Miller on The Dad Edge Podcast. Most of the time we only see sports stars on the field or getting interviewed after the game. They have to give their camera-ready answers about the team’s performance, but rarely do we see the husband, the father, or the man behind the athlete.

In this episode, Billy Miller opens up his world to us. He delves into his rough childhood as the son of two drug addicts, his battle against depression, and how he uses his difficult past as a reference to become the best dad he can possibly be. He also talks about maintaining a circle of intimate friends, co-parenting with his ex-wife, and how he keeps work separate from his family.

'We are built, as men, to change.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #men #dads #fathers #fatherhood #manhood Click To Tweet

Billy Miller

From the time Billy can remember, his parents were addicted to drugs. He’d wake up on a Saturday morning, make himself breakfast, lunch, dinner, go to bed, wake up, and do the same thing all over again for days. Billy was alone a lot and had to learn to take care of himself. He was forced to grow up quickly.

Billy’s dad was abusive to his mom and him. He also went to prison several times. Billy didn’t think anything of it because it became his normal.

As he got older, Billy moved to a much nicer area called West Lake Village. His new school was a total culture shock and a blessing for him. Billy is half white and half black, but he had never spoken a word to another white person except to his mom and his grandmother until he was thirteen-years-old.

In West Lake Village, Billy saw how parents could get along and how healthy families functioned. He realized very early how important being a father was. He noticed that every single word his father said resonated within him. He held onto this realization until he became a dad himself.

'It's those moments where you're becoming a reflection of your past that you know you're doing the best learning of what not do to as a father.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #dads #fathers #men #fatherhood #legacy Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How Billy suffered a bout of deep depression after he was done playing football
  • How depression helped him develop humility
  • What you need in addition to the desire to change
  • How we as men be better at asking for help
  • How to be honest about how you feel with your kids
  • How to show your kids how to be vulnerable
  • How being competitive lessens the chances of a man’s success
  • The trusted and honest relationship he had with his tribe of intimate friends
  • How to start a men’s group
  • How to deepen relationships with existing friends to go beyond the ordinary
  • About Billy’s divorce
  • How he coparents with his ex-wife
  • How couples can coparent peacefully and successfully even if they don’t get along
  • Why he didn’t talk to his brother for a long time
  • Why he hates when dads are not involved
  • How to not bring stress home to your kids, even when under the pressure of a job like playing in the NFL
  • How to come home and be superman
'Don't wait till the last minute. Don't wait to the bottom of the bottom to ask for help.'– former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #men #depression #stress #mentalhealth Click To Tweet

We appreciate all the support!

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.


Billy Miller’s Links

Twitter

Instagram

'Being a dad was vastly more important than anything I was doing.' – former NFL Player, Billy Miller @billymiller83 #dads #fathers #sports #NFL #parenting Click To Tweet

Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

rob youngblood

Rob Youngblood on How To Successfully Raise A Family As a Single Dad

Rob Youngblood, TV personality, motivational speaker, victim of a Chuck Norris beating (LOL!), and single father with purpose comes on the GDP Podcast to talk about successfully raising kids through divorce.

Be the best version of yourself. It’s a wonderful phrase and so true, but when you don’t know who you really are in the first place, being the best version of you is nearly impossible. Rob Youngblood, former actor and news anchor and, currently, motivational speaker and coach, talks with the GDP about getting yourself to that best version as well as being a great dad, even in the face of difficult circumstances.

The Man in the Mirror

Sometimes we tell ourselves our lives are great, even when there is a storm of turmoil raging inside. The hardest part is facing the stuff we don’t like about ourselves, confronting the inner demons so we can be our best selves. Identifying and facing those issues is not easy, but it helps us grow and provides a great example for those who count on us.

Rob Youngblood on Prioritizing

Life will always throw curve balls. It’s what we do with these curve balls that defines who we are and our resiliency. Sometimes these challenges force us to choose between our personal wants and our responsibility to those who rely on us-AKA our children. These choices aren’t always easy to make, even though we love our children more than anything. Prioritizing our wants versus what we need to do puts the focus on what we deem important.

Be Real

As men, we a generally not known to be expressive with our feelings. We tend to bottle up our anger and frustration and sadness when we really should be sharing these emotions. Having a solid and trusting support system you can feel safe expressing these emotions in is crucial to our overall health and well-being.

Our lives inevitably change as we get older. Embracing these changes and providing a healthy example of how to manage these changes for our children will help us and our kids enjoy life that much more.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Rob Youngblood Links

Rob Youngblood Website

Rob Youngblood Facebook

Thanks for checking out this week’s show with Rob Youngblood

Thomas Fiffer, divorced dad

Essential Parenting Tips for the Divorced Man with Thomas Fiffer – GDP016

Essential Parenting Tips for the Divorced Man

Larry and Shawn were extremely grateful to have Thomas Fiffer on the show.  Thomas is an author and the Executive Editor of The Good Men Project.  Thomas oversees over 200 published articles per week from several different writers.  The site is dedicated to be a shining example of the modern man.  The Good Men Project is one of the most popular sites for men and women generating over 3 million unique visitors per month.  It offers several resources, blogs, articles, and links to books that help men and women simply understand each other better.

Key Take-Aways

In this episode, Thomas gives us several key strategies to help any divorced man:

  • Overcome common challenges of divorced Dads

  • How to model healthy relationship behavior to our kids

  • How to Dismantle the stereotypical incompetent father stereotype

Advantages to being a Divorced Man

The divorce rate is nearly 47% in the US.  Unfortunately, being a divorced man in the 20th century comes with several challenges.  However, Thomas shares a few insights that can be advantageous.

1.  There can be “relief and peace” within divorce. Meaning, once a relationship is beyond repair, divorce can offer an opportunity for each individual to heal from a troubled relationship.
2.  Divorce can also allow us to show up better as a parent without the constant stress and presence of a troubled relationship.
3.  Limited time with with kids allows the divorced man to give 100% of his attention to his children while he is in their presence.

Model Healthy Relationship Behavior

Modeling healthy relationship behavior to our kids can certainly be a challenge when divorced dads have limited time with kids.  Tom shares his insights about what it means to model healthy relationship behavior being a divorced man.

  • Respect:  Respect is the foundation of any relationship.  Ensuring we are teaching our kids through example about respect.  Finally, ensuring that we are demonstrating what “self-respect” is to our kids through example.

  • Control the Controllables:  The only people we can truly control are ourselves.  Don’t waste time or energy trying to control someone else in a relationship.

  • Be The Best for the Ex:  As difficult as that may sound, it will eventually make everyone’s life easier.  That doesn’t mean that a divorced man has to be the best for his ex.  It also means the divorced woman has to do the same.  This is a mutual agreement between both people to simply be their best for each other to achieve the same goal of raising healthy kids.

How to recognize a rotten relationship before it’s too late

Thomas wrote an article several years ago that gained a lot of attention on the internet.  The article really hit home with a lot of people.  It was entitled The 7 Deadly Signs of a Dysfunctional Relationship

Below are the 7 Deadly Signs:

1. Tedium: You have the same argument over and over again and never resolve it. This is perhaps the most obvious sign that something is wrong.

2. Blame: Everything is always your fault. And I mean everything. Dysfunctional partners avoid accountability like the plague.

3. Guilt: You’re constantly apologizing, even for things you didn’t do. Keeping the peace requires you to suck it up—every single time. It becomes a joke, the way you take the fall for everything, but it’s not funny, and you begin to feel worthless and ashamed.

4. Tension: When things are good, you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

5. Uncertainty: You never know who’s going to be there when you get home. One night, your partner is sweet, kind, and forgiving. The next, you can do no right.

6. Frustration: Getting even the simplest things done is hugely complicated. Despite your best efforts, you’re always butting heads and can’t work with your partner as a team. If you try to lead, you’re attacked. If you try to follow, you’re never doing enough of the scutwork.

7. Hopelessness: You feel like there’s a dark cloud over your life that won’t go away—a permanent weather system that obscures the sun. This is the saddest feeling of all. You lose your optimism, your light, the spark that keeps you going.

Read Thomas Fiffer’s Full Article Here:  The 7 Deadly Signs of a Dysfunctional Relationship

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Books Mentioned In This Episode

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