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what it means to be masculine today

What It Means to Be Masculine Today


In this episode, we have invited Nicky Billou, the host of The Thought Leader Revolution Podcast. He is inspired by achievement and is dedicated to assisting others in achieving outstanding results.

But there was a time when Nicky’s marriage was in ruins and he didn’t even want to live anymore.

Today, Nicky talks about the biggest mistakes men make when it comes to marriage and what it means to be masculine today.

What You’ll Learn

Childhood days

[4:36]

Nicky had a great childhood as a Christian boy from Iran. He grew up admiring his father and treated him as a hero as his father taught him how to be a man.

[8:29]

His father was an old-fashioned, masculine man who taught him to be humble. His father portrayed how to show love and affection despite being a manly man.

Marriage

[16:41]

Nicky was married to a wonderful woman. They have two wonderful boys. Their youngest was diagnosed with a condition called Subglottic Tracheal Stenosis, which required a hazardous surgery that caused his wife to panic.

[17:42]

The doctor explained that the surgery would require a tube on their son’s throat and grafts on his body. However, there is also a 20% chance of failure, which could worsen their son’s condition.

[18:55]

Nicky felt that he had to be tough and strong (different from what he would do today), which caused him and his wife to argue often. A couple of weeks after his son came out of the hospital, Nicky was presented with a divorce petition from his wife. This made him feel like he wanted to die.

[20:01]

One morning, Nicky reached out to one of his friends and shared his frustrations. His friend encouraged him that life is worth living, and Nicky was thankful he made that call.

[21:01]

Nicky insists on the importance of having friends around when you have troubles. He encourages people to avoid hurting themselves as it will make life infinitely worst for their children.

Dealing with relationship trauma

[21:41]

Nicky met Owen Williams, an expert in helping men dealing with relationship trauma. He helped Nicky to recover by joining several sessions with men’s group. Two things got in the way of Nicky and his wife getting back together. His wife was not receptive to it at the time and Nicky still held much anger toward her.

[23:06]

Nicky’s perspective changed the day he was asked when he’d stop blaming his wife and when will he would take responsibility for his mistakes.

[25:32]

Nicky learned from Owen Williams that a woman will think about leaving her marriage for two years before giving a hint of that possibility. By the time a woman comes to tell you that she wants a separation, it will be hard to turn that around. Before that happens, wake up, be wise, and be a father to your children.

Buildup of emotions

[29:47]

When Nicky’s wife decided to divorce, he lost his sense of self and self-worth, and it was one of his worst experiences. But when he was in the room with his fellow men, he felt a surge of love and life-force coursing through his body, as if God were speaking to him that everything will be all right through a messenger.

Strength to walk a new path

[32:37]

Nicky expresses his yearning for his children. But even though he could not speak to them, he knew that his children missed him. He trusts God, and he knew that he had a bigger purpose in life. Nicky knew that his calling was to go out there and guide men and families to be of service to their children.

Advice

[40:03]

Nicky admires women and their ability to help each other. That is why he encourages men also to aid each other in times of need.

[42:05]

Going through a divorce means losing 70% of the wealth you’ve accumulated, denied access to kids, and it also destroys your sense of self, making it impossible to be your best.

[43:05]

Nicky is honored to help men be their best for their children their wives. As a man, it is his job to make sure that his children do not suffer.

[48:10]

You need to draw a line when it comes to the people that you associate with. It is even more important as a couple.

RELATED EPISODES:

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier

The Art of Masculinity with Johnny Elsasser

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


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Nicky Billou’s Links

thethoughtleaderrevolution.com

E Circle Academy

Instagram

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roger mathews

Positive Fatherhood with Roger Mathews


Today we have a celebrity guest, Roger Mathews from the Jersey Shore. He was JWoww’s boyfriend in the show, and they got married and had two kids. They are now divorced, and Roger only gets to be with his children 50% of the time, but that doesn’t stop him from being a 100% dad. What you’re going to hear today about his take on fatherhood is going to surprise you.

Roger Mathews talks about his upbringing and the amazing connection he has with his father. He talks about the lessons in money management he will pass on to his kids, and how he manages their screen time. He gets real about dealing with a special needs child. Most important of all, Roger talks about focusing on the positive in fatherhood and trying to put good things into the world in spite of the chaos that is happening right now.

What You’ll Learn

[20:00]

Before becoming a father, Roger already had an experience of what a great dad is. Roger says that he’s very close to his father and they have a special bond between them.

He describes his dad to be soft-spoken and he would rarely punish his children for doing anything wrong. It was generally his mom who did the heavy lifting.

Here are a few important lessons Roger learned from his dad:

  1. Financial literacy: There was one quote his dad said about finance: “if you can’t pay for something you, you probably don’t deserve it.” Roger says that he himself uses his dad’s quotes to teach his children.
  2. Another quote that Roger remembers, “There’s nothing in this world you can do to extend your time on earth, but there’s a lot of things you can do to shorten it.” This taught Roger early on how crucial his life is and how important it is to protect it.
  3. His dad was a spiritual person and Roger talks about a lot of other quotes that helped him navigate through life with a spiritual perspective.

[30:30]

Coming to Roger as a dad, he’s a proud father of a 4 and a 6-year-old. 

He’s very adventurous and loves to go out whenever he sees a moment. He also encourages his kids to go out.

Roger explains that before getting kids, his life was more “selfish” but after having them, he lives for his kids.

[43:27]

Later in the interview, Roger was asked how be a dad to a special needs child.

Roger says that this is the most common question he gets, and honestly, every child is different. How he treats his child is probably not the best way you should treat yours.

His son, Grayson is diagnosed with autism. Roger says he does everything that needs to be done. His son takes therapy every week and is mild to moderate on the spectrum.

Roger further explains how he hates the word “normal.” He says that every one of us has something different from normal that makes all of us not “normal.”

He emphasizes the point of not giving labels to kids because it goes deeper into their subconscious and becomes their reality.

 


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Resources

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Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

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parenting after divorce

A Dad’s Guide to Parenting After Divorce with Evan DeMarco

How can you be the best dad after your marriage fails? What can you do to use post-divorce life as an opportunity to grow into the best version of yourself? Today’s show is a dad’s guide to parenting after divorce.

Evan DeMarco is the host of the Single Parents Daily and the Complete Human podcasts. Evan tells his harrowing story of his parents’ divorce, and how his father kidnapped him when he was a toddler. He reveals how his abandonment issues led to his own divorce, forcing him to confront his issues. Evan gives divorced dads tips to reclaim their true selves while also giving married and dating dads insights on how to develop and keep the relationship they have or begin a new one.

This show is gets real, so get ready to face some hard truths.

Single Parents Daily

There comes a point when every single parent says “I can’t do this.” The catalyst for this declaration can range from an overwhelmingly large pile of laundry, to not being able to pay the rent, to seeing your child attach to an ex’s new significant other. Being a single parent is one of the hardest single things any one person can do. But, it is also one of the most rewarding. As two parents who have navigated painful divorces while trying to maintain business and most importantly, be the best parents to our children, we recognize that our moderate success is a result of the tools we developed and the people that we surrounded ourselves with. We invite all parents to join us on our journey of Single Parenthood, where we discuss everything from how we learned to deal with our exes and navigate dating while having children. Our hope is to share these tools in a way that helps all single parents raise happy healthy kids who are prepared for a successful future as well-adjusted adults. We are not experts on single parenting, if there is such a thing. We are two parents struggling to do our best. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we succeed. But always are we two parents who love our kids more than anything and are excited to share our journey as Single Parents Daily.

Mia and The Go Away Monster Spray

Mia’s got a problem― she’s got a monster living in her closet and that’s not going to fly with her. Mia enlists her dad to help her get rid of it once and for all. Together, Mia and her dad brew a magic potion called the Go Away Monster Spray. The recipes vital ingredient is a single strand of Mia’s hair. Can Mia and her Dad concoct the potion and banish the closet monster?

What You’ll Learn

  • Even though 50% of marriages end in divorce, there is tremendous stigma for divorced parents.
  • Men screw up so many relationships because we don’t know how to be vulnerable. We are not allowed to own our feelings.
  • Trying to make everyone happy results in not being true to yourself anymore.
  • How to move past the victim mentality and finger-pointing
  • Refocus on who you want and need to be.
  • How to collaborate as parents after divorce
  • Advice for married guys who come from divorced backgrounds—get comfortable with being vulnerable and get comfortable with yourself. Not everyone has to like you or agree with you.
  • The grass is greener where you water it. Don’t look for another relationship. Feed the one you have.
  • In marriage you have to be yourself. Don’t sweep stuff under the rug. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with your partner in a respectful way.
  • Look at the stuff you’re not okay with and find a way to fix those things.
  • We can always bring new things into an existing marriage.
  • The idea of “you complete me” is wrong. Both partners need to be complete people.
  • Give yourself space to respond. It’s okay to go to be angry.
  • Set a deadline for when you will resolve a discussion.
  • Make time for fun and play in your relationship. Find what makes you happy together and do it more often.
  • The Divorce Bucket List –Make a list of things we did not do for ourselves when we were married.
  • Creating an Individual and Married Bucket list.
  • You don’t need to find someone to find value in life. It’s okay to be single.
  • Evan’s goal is to raise 2 million dollars with his children’s book for Operation Underground Railroad, whose mission is to stop human trafficking. You can help by buying his book, Mia and the Go Away Monster Spray.

RELATED EPISODES:

The Savage Gentleman with MMA Fighter Josh Tyler

How to Fix Your Unhappy Marriage with Seth and Melanie Studley

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Evan Demarco’s Links

singleparentsdaily.com

completehuman.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

Amazon


Resources

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The Anatomy of Marriage

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


How is marriage supposed to work? We have never been taught, and when things start derailing, we have no idea what to do.

This show was planned for a later date, but it is too good and too relevant to hold onto. The pandemic has heightened the level of stress in our lives and in our relationships. Many couples are struggling to navigate through these challenging times.

So today we have marriage expert and coach,Melanie Studley with us. She’s the cohost of the Anatomy of Marriage podcast and co-creator of the Anatomy of Marriage app.

Melanie dissects the most common issues between a man and a woman. She tells us what our spouses really think and feel when we watch porn. Melanie also explains the underlying anatomy of a marriage and gives us a formula to communicate our needs and desires as men in a confident, calm and masculine way.

So simple and so powerful, don’t miss the pro tips in this episode!

Melanie Studley’s Story

A Marriage Counselor is supposed to know it all, they are supposed to have the tools and the skills to navigate the ups-and-downs of relationships, but 11 years ago we hit rock bottom.

Seth confessed to lying and looking at Pornography and so I gave him a black eye…

We had two little boys, 15 months and 2 weeks old, and we were completely lost. Deep down we both wanted our marriage to work, so after months of tearing each other apart we turned our attention to healing our broken marriage. But… we couldn’t find ANY marriage resources for IMPERFECT, BROKEN AND MESSY PEOPLE!

We started on our journey anyway and eventually began healing, then we decided to turn our mess into our message and to create the resources that we wish we had during the HARDEST PARTS of our marriage. With over 2.5 Million downloads of our Podcast, and listeners all over the world, our raw vulnerability, practical tools and real help for real couples is making much larger impact than we could have ever dreamed!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

What You’ll Learn

  • Most couples have no idea how to handle it when things go wrong in marriage, which it inevitably does from time to time.
  • The genesis of Melanie’s career as a marriage coach started in the pit of dysfunction.
  • Melanie didn’t understand herself, how relationships worked, and the whole point of marriage.
  • Why porn makes women feel that they are not good enough.
  • Think it through next time you want to consume pornography. What if your kids find it on your phone?
  • Children who are exposed to pornography are too young to know what it means, and it plants the seeds of sexual dysfunction.
  • Instead of giving restless energy away to porn, funnel it into positive things.
  • What men get wrong in sexuality—they have the power to make their wife feel like a goddess.
  • Porn is like kryptonite. It takes away your sexual superpowers.
  • Many men are quietly pissed off in their marriage but refuse to speak up. They don’t know what to say or how to say it.
  • Women want to be fiercely independent, yet most women are also wired to want to be there to help their husbands.
  • Men just want women to be happy, but they neglect the important things.
  • When men are frustrated, they shut themselves down until they break down.
  • Don’t wait to tell your wife when you don’t like something, are angry, or disagree with her.
  • Don’t let the pressure build up. If things are already set to explode, don’t take the lid off all at once.
  • Get in the habit of small conversations all the time to make sure you’re on the same page.
  • The “Clearing Structure”–a hyper-empowered way to express your feelings and offer solutions without your partner getting defensive.
  • King and Queen always link together. Be each other’s heroes.
  • Approach conflicts with a positive energy, not a submissive or negative one.
  • Conversation starters release the tension around things you didn’t even know were bothering you.
  • Communication doesn’t have to be complicated.

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

Become Irresistible to Your Woman with Allana Pratt

#75Hard: Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Melanie Studley and the Anatomy of Marriage

anatomyofmarriage.com

Podcast

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE APP (Use promocode Dadedge)

Resources

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

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FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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Build an Extraordinary Marriage!

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monty heath

The Full Monty: Dad-Life as an Ex-Navy SEAL with Monty Heath


Becoming our best selves is a choice. We can choose to watch life pass us by, sleepwalking to our deathbeds full of regret. Or we can make the decision to take destiny into our own hands, leaving a distinct mark on the world.

Today we have former Navy SEAL Monty Heath on The Dad Edge Podcast. Monty made the choice to leave the Navy SEALs before getting married and starting his family. He talks about how keeping calm is the most effective and important way to operate in life. He reveals how closely he came to divorce and the choice he made to never quit on his marriage. Monty also discusses his approach to dad life and teaches us how we can keep cool and rational through the inevitable chaos of fatherhood.

“I want to raise kids who are better than me.”—Monty Heath

Monty Heath

In 1993, Monty Heath became a U.S. Navy SEAL, completing one of his lifelong goals. He was fortunate enough to serve alongside America’s finest in Operations Enduring Freedom and Joint Forge. Monty credits SEAL Team Two and Red Squadron as adding significance to everything else he would do in life. During his service, Monty was twice awarded the Bronze star with combat Valor designation.

After eleven years of faithful service, Monty left the SEALS (admittedly one of the most difficult things he’s ever done) to start a family and change focus to the civilian sector. Through the years, he has lead a variety of successful military and civilian endeavors, including supervising the U.S. Navy’s SEAL mentorship program and BUD/S preparatory program. He has provided executive protection for several Forbes 400 individuals and their families. He is truly honored to be helping those he feels need and deserve it the most – America’s veterans and service members.

“Calm people are the best people.”—Monty Heath

What You’ll Learn

  • Monty considered himself to be an immature warrior.
  • The difference between approaching life with a subjective or objective mindset.
  • Avoid conflict when one or both sides are emotional instead of logical.
  • Monty’s advice to his younger self—You don’t have to classify and quantify everything in your sight. Mostly, people don’t want your unsolicited opinions and advice. If they did, they would ask you for it.
  • Seek mentorship and knowledge. Sometimes you have to step into the thick of it to grow.
  • Why Monty didn’t try to have kids until he felt he was ready
  • In life, try to get “mission focus.” Keep your eyes on the future and the goal, and all the pieces of uncomfortableness are just hoops you need to jump through to get there.
  • How to use empathy to help people in a heightened emotional state
  • The emotion/logic seesaw—We cannot judge people for their visceral reactions. Meet them where they are in their feelings and validate them.
  • Growing up in a dysfunctional family helped Monty in keeping calm through his experiences as a Navy SEAL.
  • How Monty and his wife have beat the odds when it comes to their marriage after being on the brink of divorce many times.
  • It’s a conscious decision to be married and monogamous.
  • Monty believes life is about more than casual sex. It’s better to have a wife, friend, and partner.
  • He credits his wife for putting up with his caveman antics for so long.
  • Marriage—If you love each other, then it’s worth it.
  • Choice—Tomorrow has nothing to do with today. You can choose to do something to make yourself better. Apply time, effort, and discipline.
  • Anything worth doing is hard. If you’re out of your comfort zone, you’re doing it right.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Staring Down the Wolf with ex-Navy SEAL Mark Divine

Warrior Toughness for Real Life with Navy SEAL Stephen Drum

COVID-19: How to Protect and Lead Your Family Through Crisis with Retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Thanks for the support!

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Monty Heath’s Links

thefullmonty.net

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

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Tag us when you share on social media!

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