John Ramstead is a husband, father, entrepreneur, and author of On Purpose, With Purpose. Ramstead knew from a young age that he wanted to be a pilot. However, when he got to college and was enrolled in the ROTC program, he never believed that he had what it took to be a pilot. After an inspiring talk with his father, John decided that he was going to take aviation classes and become a pilot. Throughout his studies, John had a mentor that held him accountable and challenged him to be the best that he could be. Ramstead finished first in his graduating class and got to pick the plane of his choice.
After John retired from the Navy, he became an entrepreneur and founded the company Beyond Influence. In 2011, John encountered an accident that would alter the course of his life forever. During a work retreat, John was riding on a horse that bucked him off and sent him straight into a steel pipe, shattering his skull. The doctors told his wife and kids to fill out a living will because he was not going to make it. During his time in the hospital, the Lord spoke to John and told him that he would heal him. From that moment on, John decided to save the relationship with his wife and children and become the husband and father he was meant to be.
Marriage is all about skill. You can’t just walk in and expect to wing it on the first try; it takes patience, practice, and most importantly – SKILL. Having a healthy relationship with your kids works the same way too. It’s not about getting them to be on their best behavior, it’s about bringing out the best in them, no matter if it’s different than how you imagined. When John was near the end of his life, he discovered that it’s not about what you leave for your family, it’s about what you leave in them. That is the difference between inheritance and legacy – legacy is forever, inheritance is temporary.
What You’ll Learn:
Problems in Marriage
John talks about how his marriage wasn’t good and how his actions created tension that would later lead to some difficult conversations.
John’s Career as a Naval Pilot
During college, John studied to be an engineer and spent a month on a submarine. Always had a dream to be a pilot since he was a little kid. He had to change his perception of his self image.
The Importance of Mentorship
Find people that do what you want to do and learn from them. Make them hold you accountable so that you can be successful.
We’re all in a competition called life. However, if we try to help each other rather than trample each other, we will build much better relationships.
John’s Accident Circa 2011
Started a company in 2011. Went on a retreat in Montana and got into an accident while riding a horse.
The Lord spoke to John and said, “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord” and told him that he was going to heal John.
Inheritance and Legacy
As his family was preparing for his funeral, John started thinking about inheritance, which quickly turned into legacy. John recalls thinking about the kind of legacy he would be leaving if he died. He questioned what he had left in his wife and his children, rather than what he left for them.
John realized he had been given a second chance. What does success look like in fatherhood? He had to become a better version of himself.
Purposeful Love Specific to Each Child
As fathers, we need to slow down individually and understand how we’re wired. Using self-awareness helped John to see each one of his kids more clearly.
On becoming a coach, John recalls how important it is to ask questions and listen. Also, taking what a person has said to them, rephrasing it, and feeding it back to them in a way they can understand. Do it from a place of curiosity, not judgment.
John shares examples of how he overcame anger in order to listen to his son’s needs.
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