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To the Beat of Your Own Drum

Are you living as your true self? Or have you built your life around someone else’s idea of who you’re supposed to be? And if you feel like you’re living a lie, how can you drown out the noise of the world and march to the beat of your own drum?

Today we have an everyday dad and extraordinary person from the Dad Edge Alliance. Chris Lesso is the founder of Your Best Self Through Drumming and is an expert on optimizing the power of drumming to improve focus, confidence, and self-expression.

Through the metaphor of music, Chris explains how each of us has a different drum beat and how we can connect with our best selves by letting our voices be heard. He teaches us how we can become aware of our unique rhythms so that we can better lead our families and keep the beat for our own song of life.

Chris Lesso

Chris Lesso is an expert on optimizing the power of drumming to improve focus, confidence, and self expression in music and in life. LTR (Life Through Rhythm) is an attitude and way of life, brought forth through drumming compositions, musical performance, and education, using drumming as a force to reach our fullest potential and live the art of possibility.

Chris began his journey early, drumming and playing piano at the age of 7, and has never looked back. He has studied with world renowned educators Dom Famularo, Jim Chapin, Jim Blackley, and in India with Swapan Chaudhuri. A lifelong student of the craft, he sought out to play with the best musicians in the world, touring internationally with Wild T & The Spirit, Cavalia Odysseo, and many others.

Combining a fascination of history with pushing the edges of future evolution, Chris leads his own band modus factor, featuring world renowned musicians Brownman (Jay Z, Dave Matthews Band) and Ian DeSouza (Juno Award winning Sisters Euclid). Described as ‘electro ambient bedlam’, modus factor uses improvisation and daring reinvention to create an energized sound all its own, drawing on textures from jazz, electronic, and world music.

A born teacher, Chris takes his LTR (Life Through Rhythm) philosophy around the world to empower drummers getting to their next level, but also to businesses looking for an edge in using drumming to come together as an energized team, using the power of flow states to rise above the competition.

What You’ll Learn

  • We all have a personal rhythm in life that includes our habits, our thoughts, and our speech
  • Drumming teaches us to be assertive leaders because drummers must keep the beat for the rest of the band
  • The f-word we must teach our kids
  • How playing music helps you focus, develop confidence and self-worth
  • Cultivating self-expression to grow confidence
  • Asking yourself, “What do you have to say?”
  • The maxims of the practice of drumming – movement (physical exertion), rhythm (daily practice), discipline (becoming a disciple of your best self), being childlike (not childish)
  • Controlling your emotional state
  • Why drumming keeps you humble
  • How learning something knew puts you back into your kids’ shoes, helping you relate to them when they’re learning something they’ve never done before
  • How learning an instrument like drums grows new neurons and muscle memory
  • Developing patience and staying fresh and in the moment
  • Letting your kids watching you do something your passionate about
  • Urgency is good, but self-importance is not.
  • Detach and welcome obstacles and circumstances beyond our control
  • Why smiling at someone is being creative
  • We’re all going to look back on this crisis and think about how we showed up during this time. What are you going to remember?

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Extreme Ownership for Fathers with Leif Babin

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink


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THRIVE IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

IT’S TIME TO REINVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

Guest Speakers

Dr. Meg Meeker
New York Times Bestselling Author of “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” and “HERO”
Anthony Trucks
Former NFL Football Player and American Ninja Warrior
Aaron Walker
Founder of View From the Top and bestselling author of “View from the Top” and coming soon “Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence.”
Dominic Quartuccio
Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

CHOOSE YOUR PACKAGE

 

Kung Fu Parenting


How can you can cooperate—not compete—with your kids, set boundaries, focus on the positive, and make your parenting flow instead of it always being a struggle?

We are honored to have Jeremy Roadruck among our Dad Edge Alliance members. He’s a Kung Fu master, public speaker, and bestselling author. He’s also an empowerment coach for families and children, giving parents and kids the tools they need to feel seen, heard, felt, and understood.

Today, Jeremy talks about how we can add Kung Fu principles to our parenting skill set, allowing self-awareness and compassion to guide us, developing a deep rapport with our children that will give them the inner strength and joy to win in all areas of life.

What You’ll Learn

  • The importance of the way we store things internally
  • The power of detachment
  • How trials are a gift, helping us to develop self-awareness and compassion toward others
  • How to play games worth winning
  • Life is always a positive game. All roadblocks are self-generated.
  • The difference between patience and passive waiting
  • Why, like in Kung Fu, we should stop chasing the outcome
  • Balancing the masculine and feminine
  • The difference between winning and not losing
  • How judgement kills our rapport and our influence
  • The power of your story about yourself changes your behavior.
  • How to channel your kids’ energy to the positive
  • Why your spouse must come before your kids

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Jeremy Roadruck

theparentingprogram.com

Free Book—Your Best Child Ever: Is This Game Worth Winning?

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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No Bad Kids: The Psychology of Toddler Parenting with Janet Lansbury


We all love our kids. At the same time, we all have those moments when they drive us crazy. Sometimes, they don’t listen or become defiant. They have meltdowns and throw tantrums that can get on our last nerve.

But babies, toddlers, and children see the world through different eyes. They depend on us for everything and look to us to guide them. How can we teach and discipline them while being more patient and understanding parents?

Today’s guest is Janet Lansbury. She’s a well-known parenting expert, the host of the Unruffled Podcast, and the author of No Bad Kids.

Janet is going to talk to us about what our kids are trying to communicate with their behavior, why we should back off when they explore during play, and how we can best help them to learn and develop without frustration.

This show is a revelation for parents of kids of all ages. Don’t miss it!

Kids know themselves better than we do. They know what they’re ready to take on.—Janet Lansbury

Janet Lansbury

A former actress and model, Janet’s passion for parent education began when she became a mother and sought guidance from infant expert Magda Gerber. Deeply inspired and grateful for her wisdom, she began training with Magda professionally. For the last 20 years, Janet has taught RIE parenting classes in Los Angeles, been a presenter at numerous early childhood conferences, written parenting articles, and served on the board of directors of Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE).

Janet is privileged to now be supporting hundreds of thousands of parents across the globe through her website JanetLansbury.com, sharing insights gained through her parenting classes and personal experiences as a mother of three. Janet encourages parents and child care professionals to perceive babies as unique, capable human beings with natural abilities to learn without being taught; to develop motor and cognitive skills; communicate; face age appropriate struggles; initiate and direct independent play for extended periods; and much more.

“Janet Lansbury Unruffled” is one of the most downloaded parenting podcasts on the web and recommended listening by “The Washington Post” for anyone seeking guidance in parenting. Her audio series “Sessions” is available on her website and features intimate recorded consultations with parents.

No Bad Kids

Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As a RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her twenty years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. “No Bad Kids” is a collection of Janet’s most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. “No Bad Kids” provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children’s eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.

What You’ll Learn

  • The importance of being present for the times our children are not feeling happiness and contentment
  • Babies have a right to cry. We instinctively shut them down, but this is not always the best thing to do.
  • Acknowledging and being accepting about your child’s imperfections
  • What “begin present” with your child really means
  • Observation is the key to good parenting. Note the differences between you and your child. Let them explore playing, learning, interests, passions, and creative interests without imposing your own projections.
  • Why babies are such incredible learners
  • Why you shouldn’t drag your kids to sports and activities they’re not enthusiastic about
  • When should a child quit an activity?
  • The power of our suggestions as parents
  • Exploring your child’s behavior from a place of curiosity and interest
  • After school, encourage your kids to follow their intuition on what they want to do. Their time is theirs.
  • Why you never have to be the one who nags your kid to get homework done
  • The biggest frustration is that we perceive our children’s behavior as being reasonable. Reason won’t work on impulses that come from stress and emotion.
  • Don’t ever repeat yourself. If you’ve said it, and they’re not listening, go help them change their behavior.
  • Why getting excited, raising your voice, or spanking can make the behavior worse
  • Why you should speak in first-person (“I said stop doing that.”), not third-person (“Mommy/Daddy said stop doing that.”)
  • We get triggered into the way our parents handled us.
  • We can’t change our child’s, or our, reactions. But we can practice the right perspective. Reframe the situation to what is really going on. Your kids are not intentionally trying to annoy or aggravate you.

 


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Get a FREE Trial at YNAB.com/dads


Janet Lansbury’s Links

janetlansbury.com

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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navy seal tactics for parents

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

Retired Navy SEAL, Chris Sajnog, is one of our most popular guests. He is the premier firearms instructor in America, a bestselling author, and the host of the SEAL Training Podcast.

The Dad Edge went to his studio in San Diego for a live, in-person discussion about fatherhood, and we really went deep. Chris was abandoned by his father and carries the wound with him to this day. He vowed not to be like his estranged dad and gave up his accomplished military life to be there for his teenage boys.

Sadly, his sons don’t want to spend time with him. Chris opens up about dealing with the painful lack of connection with his sons, and how he maintains his fatherly presence in their lives.

Chris Sajnog also shares Navy SEAL tactics for parents to help us to learn anything quickly and effectively. He goes over the hard and soft traits we need to cultivate to be balanced men, and how we can apply the warrior mindset to everyday life.

For us to change our lives, we have to change who we identify ourselves as.—Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog is a retired Navy SEAL Master Firearms Instructor, Neural-Pathway Training Expert, Speaker and Disabled Veteran Small Business Owner. He is one of the most experienced and respected firearms trainers in the world, being hand-selected to develop the training program for the US Navy SEAL Snipers. As a Navy SEAL he was the senior sniper instructor, a certified Master Training Specialist (MTS), BUD/S and advanced training marksmanship instructor.

After retiring from the SEAL Teams in 2009 to spend time with his family, Chris began training civilians and law enforcement officers. He is the founder of the New Rules of Marksmanship, a revolutionary approach to firearms training and has a passion for finding innovative ways to teach elite-level shooting skills online as rapidly as possible to his students.

He is a federal and state certified firearms instructor and has trained DOD, DHS, FBI, CIA, Law Enforcement, and multiple foreign allies in all aspects of combat weapons handling, marksmanship, and tactics.

He lives in San Diego, CA with his wife Laura and two boys, Caden and Owen.

What You’ll Learn

  • Chris’s mother was a flight attendant. His dad left when he was 2 years old.
  • Chris admits he was not a good student or son.
  • He was voted “most likely to end up in prison.”
  • Even though is dad didn’t want him around, Chris idolized him.
  • Chris’s dad was a manager at Hardee’s.
  • Chris forged documents and had eye surgery under a fake name to make it into the SEALs.
  • How Chris used his adversity as motivation
  • The importance of changing your identity
  • How to get your kid to identify themselves in a different way
  • How Chris gets his rebellious sons to do things that they refuse to do
  • How Chris’s boys don’t appreciate the fact that their father is a Navy SEAL
  • Chris has written his sons love letters and the life lessons he wants to pass onto them.
  • His sons don’t engage with him, but he doesn’t give up. He keeps trying to connect.
  • Navy SEAL tactics for parents
  • The importance of having a strong “why” when learning anything new or challenging
  • How to know whether or not you should quit something
  • How to assess if your path is serving you
  • Stop investing in a life for the wrong reasons that will not make you happy in the long run.
  • Why Chris won’t befriend men who aren’t good dads
  • How Chris turns civilians into warriors
  • The importance of meditation in a gunfight
  • It’s not what you train but how you train.

If you want to get better at being a dad, be around good dads.—Chris Sajnog

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

The 12 Traits of a Warrior Part 1: The Hard Traits with Chris Sajnog

12 Traits of a Warrior Part II: The Soft Traits

Dad Edge Alliance Q&#038;A: Allowing Your Kids to Have Their Feelings with Chris Sajnog


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for a 7-day free trial and 10% off!


Chris Sajnog’s Links

chrissajnog.com

SEAL Training Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week.
The next one might be yours!

Thanks for the support.

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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off


Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge