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No Bad Kids: The Psychology of Toddler Parenting with Janet Lansbury


We all love our kids. At the same time, we all have those moments when they drive us crazy. Sometimes, they don’t listen or become defiant. They have meltdowns and throw tantrums that can get on our last nerve.

But babies, toddlers, and children see the world through different eyes. They depend on us for everything and look to us to guide them. How can we teach and discipline them while being more patient and understanding parents?

Today’s guest is Janet Lansbury. She’s a well-known parenting expert, the host of the Unruffled Podcast, and the author of No Bad Kids.

Janet is going to talk to us about what our kids are trying to communicate with their behavior, why we should back off when they explore during play, and how we can best help them to learn and develop without frustration.

This show is a revelation for parents of kids of all ages. Don’t miss it!

Kids know themselves better than we do. They know what they’re ready to take on.—Janet Lansbury

Janet Lansbury

A former actress and model, Janet’s passion for parent education began when she became a mother and sought guidance from infant expert Magda Gerber. Deeply inspired and grateful for her wisdom, she began training with Magda professionally. For the last 20 years, Janet has taught RIE parenting classes in Los Angeles, been a presenter at numerous early childhood conferences, written parenting articles, and served on the board of directors of Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE).

Janet is privileged to now be supporting hundreds of thousands of parents across the globe through her website JanetLansbury.com, sharing insights gained through her parenting classes and personal experiences as a mother of three. Janet encourages parents and child care professionals to perceive babies as unique, capable human beings with natural abilities to learn without being taught; to develop motor and cognitive skills; communicate; face age appropriate struggles; initiate and direct independent play for extended periods; and much more.

“Janet Lansbury Unruffled” is one of the most downloaded parenting podcasts on the web and recommended listening by “The Washington Post” for anyone seeking guidance in parenting. Her audio series “Sessions” is available on her website and features intimate recorded consultations with parents.

No Bad Kids

Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As a RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her twenty years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. “No Bad Kids” is a collection of Janet’s most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. “No Bad Kids” provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children’s eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.

What You’ll Learn

  • The importance of being present for the times our children are not feeling happiness and contentment
  • Babies have a right to cry. We instinctively shut them down, but this is not always the best thing to do.
  • Acknowledging and being accepting about your child’s imperfections
  • What “begin present” with your child really means
  • Observation is the key to good parenting. Note the differences between you and your child. Let them explore playing, learning, interests, passions, and creative interests without imposing your own projections.
  • Why babies are such incredible learners
  • Why you shouldn’t drag your kids to sports and activities they’re not enthusiastic about
  • When should a child quit an activity?
  • The power of our suggestions as parents
  • Exploring your child’s behavior from a place of curiosity and interest
  • After school, encourage your kids to follow their intuition on what they want to do. Their time is theirs.
  • Why you never have to be the one who nags your kid to get homework done
  • The biggest frustration is that we perceive our children’s behavior as being reasonable. Reason won’t work on impulses that come from stress and emotion.
  • Don’t ever repeat yourself. If you’ve said it, and they’re not listening, go help them change their behavior.
  • Why getting excited, raising your voice, or spanking can make the behavior worse
  • Why you should speak in first-person (“I said stop doing that.”), not third-person (“Mommy/Daddy said stop doing that.”)
  • We get triggered into the way our parents handled us.
  • We can’t change our child’s, or our, reactions. But we can practice the right perspective. Reframe the situation to what is really going on. Your kids are not intentionally trying to annoy or aggravate you.

 


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Janet Lansbury’s Links

janetlansbury.com

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navy seal tactics for parents

Navy SEAL Tactics for Parents with Chris Sajnog

Retired Navy SEAL, Chris Sajnog, is one of our most popular guests. He is the premier firearms instructor in America, a bestselling author, and the host of the SEAL Training Podcast.

The Dad Edge went to his studio in San Diego for a live, in-person discussion about fatherhood, and we really went deep. Chris was abandoned by his father and carries the wound with him to this day. He vowed not to be like his estranged dad and gave up his accomplished military life to be there for his teenage boys.

Sadly, his sons don’t want to spend time with him. Chris opens up about dealing with the painful lack of connection with his sons, and how he maintains his fatherly presence in their lives.

Chris Sajnog also shares Navy SEAL tactics for parents to help us to learn anything quickly and effectively. He goes over the hard and soft traits we need to cultivate to be balanced men, and how we can apply the warrior mindset to everyday life.

For us to change our lives, we have to change who we identify ourselves as.—Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog is a retired Navy SEAL Master Firearms Instructor, Neural-Pathway Training Expert, Speaker and Disabled Veteran Small Business Owner. He is one of the most experienced and respected firearms trainers in the world, being hand-selected to develop the training program for the US Navy SEAL Snipers. As a Navy SEAL he was the senior sniper instructor, a certified Master Training Specialist (MTS), BUD/S and advanced training marksmanship instructor.

After retiring from the SEAL Teams in 2009 to spend time with his family, Chris began training civilians and law enforcement officers. He is the founder of the New Rules of Marksmanship, a revolutionary approach to firearms training and has a passion for finding innovative ways to teach elite-level shooting skills online as rapidly as possible to his students.

He is a federal and state certified firearms instructor and has trained DOD, DHS, FBI, CIA, Law Enforcement, and multiple foreign allies in all aspects of combat weapons handling, marksmanship, and tactics.

He lives in San Diego, CA with his wife Laura and two boys, Caden and Owen.

What You’ll Learn

  • Chris’s mother was a flight attendant. His dad left when he was 2 years old.
  • Chris admits he was not a good student or son.
  • He was voted “most likely to end up in prison.”
  • Even though is dad didn’t want him around, Chris idolized him.
  • Chris’s dad was a manager at Hardee’s.
  • Chris forged documents and had eye surgery under a fake name to make it into the SEALs.
  • How Chris used his adversity as motivation
  • The importance of changing your identity
  • How to get your kid to identify themselves in a different way
  • How Chris gets his rebellious sons to do things that they refuse to do
  • How Chris’s boys don’t appreciate the fact that their father is a Navy SEAL
  • Chris has written his sons love letters and the life lessons he wants to pass onto them.
  • His sons don’t engage with him, but he doesn’t give up. He keeps trying to connect.
  • Navy SEAL tactics for parents
  • The importance of having a strong “why” when learning anything new or challenging
  • How to know whether or not you should quit something
  • How to assess if your path is serving you
  • Stop investing in a life for the wrong reasons that will not make you happy in the long run.
  • Why Chris won’t befriend men who aren’t good dads
  • How Chris turns civilians into warriors
  • The importance of meditation in a gunfight
  • It’s not what you train but how you train.

If you want to get better at being a dad, be around good dads.—Chris Sajnog

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

The 12 Traits of a Warrior Part 1: The Hard Traits with Chris Sajnog

12 Traits of a Warrior Part II: The Soft Traits

Dad Edge Alliance Q&#038;A: Allowing Your Kids to Have Their Feelings with Chris Sajnog


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

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The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for a 7-day free trial and 10% off!


Chris Sajnog’s Links

chrissajnog.com

SEAL Training Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week.
The next one might be yours!

Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


The Smart Way to Keep Kids Safer Online

Bark’s affordable, award-winning dashboard proactively monitors
text messages, YouTube, emails, and 24 different social networks
for potential safety concerns,
so busy parents can save time and gain peace of mind.

CLICK HERE TO GET BARK
Use coupon code GOODDAD at checkout for 10% off


Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!


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raising good humans aliza pressman

Raising Good Humans with Aliza Pressman

Today we have something special for Thursday Throwdown. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist, parent educator, assistant clinical professor, and co-founder of both Mount Sinai Parenting Center and Seedlings Group. She is also the host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and is going to give us some crucial tips on how to use praise and discipline the right way.

Most of us parents have the best intentions when trying to encourage and praise our kids, but little do we know we could be setting them up for misery and failure later in life.

Don’t miss this episode as Dr. Aliza gives a definitive guide on when to praise, how to praise, and how to show unconditional love even when you’re not happy with your kids’ behavior.

All feelings are welcome, but all behaviors are not.—Dr. Aliza Pressman

 

Aliza Pressman, M.A., Ph.D.

Aliza Waksal Pressman, Ph.D., Co-Founder of seedlingsgroup, received her undergraduate degree from Dartmouth College, her MA in Risk, Resilience and Prevention from the Department of Human Development at Teacher’s College and earned her Ph.D. in developmental psychology from the Columbia University Graduate School of Arts and Sciences with a fellowship at the National Center for Children and Families. Dr. Pressman is certified in parent management training from the Yale Parenting Center and an assistant clinical professor at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in the Department of Pediatrics. Aliza is the co-founding director of the non profit Mount Sinai Parenting Center. She is also the host of a Podcast called Raising Good Humans.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

How to Instill the Growth Mindset in Your Kids with Larry Yatch

Why Dads Should Praise Effort and Not Results


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

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Aliza Pressman

Raising Good Humans Podcast

seedlingsgroup.com

mountsinai.org

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE book on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

the dad edge alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

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parenting your adhd kid

Parenting Your ADHD Kid with Confidence Angela Pruess


Parenting is always a challenge. We aren’t given a manual when our kid is born. Parents whose kids have ADHD are even more unprepared. The Dad Edge constantly receives emails from dads who are struggling with their ADHD son or daughter. Most feel frustrated and helpless. They don’t enjoy parenting, and their kids can sense that. But there is hope for ADHD parents. All we need is the right skillset.

Angela Pruess is a licensed family therapist with a background in Child Psychology, Child Development, and Play Therapy. She is the founder of Parents with Confidence and also the mother of three children, two having special needs.

Angela explains the 3 different types of ADHD and the best way to manage each one. She talks about how to create an environment that encourages emotional intelligence and a growth mindset. She also tells us how to develop and leverage our parent-child connection, understand the true motivation behind our child’s behavior, and discipline our children without emotional damage.

Empower yourself to grow emotionally resilient ADHD kids who will live their best lives!

Angela Pruess

Angela Pruess, LMFT, is a Child and Family Therapist and special needs parent on a mission to support and empower parents of behaviorally challenging kids. Over at parentswithconfidence.com, she wants to make life easier for you by decoding your child’s maddening behaviors, as well as their developmental and emotional needs. When she’s not supporting parents, or seeing kids in her private practice, she is at home being challenged (a lot) by her own three kids (and sometimes husband).

“Kids do better when they feel better.”—Angela Pruess, LMFT

What You’ll Learn

  • Parents forget to try to understand their kids. We need to know what drives them.
  • There is no quick fix for helping an ADHD child.
  • How amazingly resilient kids are. Their high-plasticity brains keep them openminded to learning about themselves.
  • How to manage emotional resentment towards your child.
  • ADHD cannot be helped. There are differences in the child’s brain structure since birth. Executive functions are limited as well as a broad range of important skills that bleed into everything.
  • Has ADHD always been around? How come we haven’t heard of it till now?
  • The outdated diagnostic criteria for ADHD.
  • The 3 different types of ADHD: Hyperactive, Inattentive, and Combined
  • Hyperactive: Physically hyper, but also impulsive, these children have a hard time stopping and thinking before the act. They show a limited ability for self-control and taking time to make best decisions.
  • Inattentive: It may look like these children are lazy and not paying attention, but there is an invisible piece. They don’t know where to start and get stuck. Parents have to be on child’s back to get things done. These are the dreamers, staring out the window. They are observant, curious.
  • Combined: These children present both aspects of ADHD. All of these children struggle with emotional control and regulating their attention.
  • How does ADHD show up besides hyperactivity and poor academic performance?
  • How to tell if your child has ADHD and is not just misbehaving.
  • Playing too much video games, not getting sleep, and too much sugar are some habits that lead to ADHD behaviors.
  • Parents expect to treat each kid the same, but they must seek to better understand each individual child’s neurobiology and personality.
  • The more you know about how each child ticks, the more you can influence your kids.
  • Use a humble, open approach instead of being authoritarian.
  • Kids put their needs out in the form of their behavior.
  • Unwanted behavior will not end until your child’s needs are met.
  • Their behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath is a huge variety of internal factors and drivers.
  • Be aware of your child’s sensory needs. Some are triggered by noises or being touched.
  • Being the “behavior police” with your ADHD child breeds disconnect and resentment.
  • How to draw the line between positive parenting and giving into bad behavior.
  • Get into the habit of thinking of the golden rule when interacting with your child. How would you want to be addressed? What would inspire you to do better?
  • ADHD kids are bright and advanced in other ways. They want to be acknowledged and respected for their gifts.
  • When children are upset, they shift into stress brain and their thinking brain goes offline.
  • How to teach your child to be aware of their emotions and help him/her be genuinely motivated to learn how to cope with their feelings.
  • All humans are wired with a negativity bias. Try to focus on the positives and achievements instead of everything your child does wrong.
  • Growth Mindset. Think of the whole picture when it comes to dealing with your ADHD child, not just right now. Instead of putting out fires, use challenging situations as a learning experience.

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Faster than Normal: Secrets of the ADHD Brain with Peter Shankman

How to Unlock ADHD Superpowers with Peter Shankman

Anxiety and Depression in Kids: A Parent’s Survival Guide with Natasha Daniels

How to Help Kids with Anxiety and Depression – Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A with Natasha Daniels

Strategy Guide for Parenting ADHD Kids with Brian King

 


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week.
The next one might be yours!

Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


Angela Pruess’s Links

parentswithconfidence.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge