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E 218 - Anxiety and Depression in Kids

Anxiety and Depression in Kids: A Parent’s Survival Guide with Natasha Daniels


There is a great deal of awareness surrounding autism and ADHD in children. What has not been equally addressed are anxiety and depression in kids. Many children suffer in silence and parents don’t understand what’s wrong.

Today we are going to talk about how to identify and differentiate between depression and anxiety, signs and behavior patterns to look out for, and tools to help us teach children how to cope.

Natasha Daniels is a child therapist who specializes in anxiety and OCD. She is the bestselling author of Anxiety Sucks! A Teen Survival Guide and How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler. Her work has been featured on various sites including Huffington Post, Scary Mommy and The Mighty. She’s a mom to three kids who have anxiety issues and her mission is to create support for parents through her private practice, podcast, videos, and online courses.

The worst thing to do if you suspect your child may have a problem with anxiety and depression is avoid it. Learn how to tackle this problem head on so that you and your children are empowered to deal with anxiety and depression in a proactive way.

Avoidance is the food of anxiety and depression.

Natasha Daniels

Natasha Daniels is a child therapist who has worked with children, teens and families for over 16 years. With her raw, direct approach to anxiety, Natasha has helped thousands of children, teens and parents in both her practice and through her writing.

Natasha is passionate about helping children and teens with anxiety and OCD. When she is not working in her private practice, you can find her writing about anxiety on her site AnxiousToddlerstoTeens.com, creating podcast episodes on the AT Parenting Survival Podcast, making Youtube videos on her channel Ask the Child Therapist and teaching in her online classes at http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com.

Natasha lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband and three children.

We think that to acknowledge anxiety and depression is to acknowledge weakness.

What You’ll Learn

  • The difference between anxiety and depression
  • The genetic and physiological aspects of anxiety and depression (it’s out of the child’s control)
  • How to identify if your child has a problem
    • What are other kids comfortable with doing that he/she is not?
    • How much is the fear or depression getting in the way of his/her life as well as the family’s?
    • Is your child acting out in unusual, irrational ways?
    • Is there a change in the pattern of his/her behavior?
    • Trusting your parenting gut
  • Why friends, family, and doctors try to normalize the behavior and blow it off
  • The difference between the signs of anxiety and depression in boys and girls
    • Boys will not look anxious or depressed. They will look angry, irritate, annoyed, and defiant.
    • Girls have a bigger emotional vocabulary, but will tend to be avoidant and spend time alone.
  • Parent’s intuitive response is to use discipline, but this is the opposite of what the child needs
  • Parents need to pause instead of becoming authoritative
  • Why you must become inquisitive when your kid blows up or melts down for something that seems like no big deal
  • How to tell if you child is acting out to be manipulative or if they genuinely have a problem
  • The mistake of being overly protective and coddling with anxious and depressed kids
  • Many parents blame themselves when the cause is genetic
  • Being up front with your kids about their diagnosis
  • Teaching kids to accept that they are going to feel anxious or depressed sometimes, but that it will always pass
  • Allowing kids to become detectives of their own behavior
  • Why a therapist should be the first stop if you suspect your child may have anxiety and depression, not the last stop
  • Why you shouldn’t rely on your pediatrician in the case of mental health
  • How to choose the right therapist that both you and your child feel comfortable with
  • How to refer to a counselor or therapist as a “feelings teacher” or “feelings coach” to make it easier for kids to understand
  • Framing therapy as an “us” activity that encompasses the whole family instead of just on the child alone
  • How much you should be involved in the therapy of your child
  • The first step when you suspect your child may have anxiety or depression—Educate yourself and observe. Read books, listen to podcasts. Meanwhile, watch your child’s avoidance and moods from an objective point of view. Ask them if they feel overwhelmed.
  • When and how to use medication and behavioral therapy


MENTIONED EPISODE: How to Parent Kids with Anxiety and Depression with Larry Hagner


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Changing Your Relationship with Alcohol with Ruari Fairbairns

Changing Your Relationship with Alcohol with Ruari Fairbairns


Alcohol is embedded into our society. Besides its traditional use as a social lubricant and its presence in nearly every celebration, the alcohol industry has psychologically programmed us to crave alcohol. But is it really adding to our enjoyment of life?

Today we have Ruari Fairbairns back on the show. He is the cofounder of One Year No Beer, a massive, global alcohol-free movement. Ruari started in a job where drinking was part of a successful career, but he when he became a dad, the late nights and hangovers threatened his relationship with his family. He quit alcohol and was surprised to find how it revolutionized his life. His story comes full circle with a recent encounter with the Dalai Lama.

Ruari talks about rewiring your brain and changing your relationship with alcohol. Whether it’s the occasional binge or a few daily beers after work, alcohol has a huge impact on your mental and physical wellbeing. He also tells us how to combat the stigma associated with not drinking and how to be alcohol-free and still have fun.

One Year No Beer

Society has conditioned you that you need alcohol to be successful, to be cool, to be sexy, to have fun, to relax, the list goes on and on. How will you fare going up against years of social conditioning, second-hand peer pressure and self-doubt, all on your own?

The key difference between One Year No Beer challenges and just “stopping drinking” is that we teach you to have a mindset shift. We help break down the habits associated with drinking, the same habits that can help change multiple areas of your life.

What You’ll Learn

  • Alcohol is the most harmful drug in existence to individuals and society
  • How Ruari had the chance opportunity to meet the Dalai Lama
  • The Dalai Lamas surprising answer to Ruari’s question, “What would you say to somebody who is trying to change their relationships with addictions?”
  • Why we have to involve alcohol in social settings
  • The trillions of dollars the alcohol industry has spent on marketing
  • How our identity and tribalism are associated with alcohol
  • How society will soon shift away from promoting alcohol, just like cigarettes
  • The idea behind OYNB
  • How to fight peer pressure to drink
  • Stealth drinking (pretending to drink)
  • The “FEAR” behind quitting alcohol (False Evidence Appearing Real)
  • How to not be the boring sober person
  • How OYNB uses social media as a step to change
  • How if you’re drinking more than 5 or 6 beers a week regularly, the OYNB program will have a huge impact
  • How a low amount of alcohol can have a massive impact without you realizing it
  • How long it takes to process alcohol
  • How alcohol is literally poison—ethanol, a colorless flammable liquid
  • How the liver must process alcohol before anything else, including fat
  • Alcohol is a known depressant
  • Why hangovers last longer as you get older
  • Most people don’t know who they are or who they can be until they detox
  • Why choosing to quit is different from being forced to quit
  • What can dads expect who rely on a beer to chill out after work
  • How to still enjoy beer while being alcohol free
  • How drinking alcohol-free beer releases dopamine and helps you relearn how to relax without alcohol
  • How Ruari does drink sometimes
  • When quitting alcohol, think of what you’ll gain. If you come from a place from abstaining from something you love, it reaffirms that you’re making a sacrifice
  • The details of all One Year No Beer challenges
  • How to switch off a stressed brain at night
  • Freeing yourself from other addictions by starting with quitting alcohol—it will change your relationship with all things
  • How going alcohol free will help you be a better dad, husband, and man

When there’s pain, if you invest your time, energy, and resources where that pain is, it will most likely evolve and flourish.

Take the Challenge! Get The Dad Edge Discount!

Use Promocode dadedge25

gooddadproject.com/beer

 

Mentioned Episodes: 

The Life Lessons Learned from Going One Year Without Drinking

How to Conquer Alcohol Addiction with Ruari Fairbains


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

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CLICK HERE.


Connect with Ruari and OYNB

info@oneyearnobeer.com

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Learn More About Our Live Event!

June 6th – 8th 2019

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How to Parent Kids with Anxiety and Depression Parenting Survival Podcast

How to Parent Kids with Anxiety and Depression

More kids are suffering from anxiety and depression than in any other previous generation. What is it like to raise kids who suffer from anxiety and depression? How can partners align without pointing fingers and being hurtful?

I went on the Parenting Survival Podcast to talk about the struggles I had parenting my son who has anxiety issues. Most dads are ill equipped to manage this problem, and a special skill set is required along with understanding and patience. I discuss how to use emotional validation and tactical empathy to connect and communicate with our kids as well as our wives. I also give advice on how ladies can better communicate with their men without putting them on the defensive.


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


AT Parenting Survival

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Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

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June 6th – 8th 2019

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Surviving the Dark Night of the Soul

Surviving the Dark Night of the Soul

This is our last show for January 2019 and we are shutting it down with an intense topic, surviving the dark night of the soul.

We all fight inner battles. Most of us struggle alone. Today, one of our Dad Edge Alliance team leads opens up about how alcoholism and depression led him to the brink of suicide. He lost his job, his house, his wife, and was bankrupt. He was overweight and unhealthy from the constant booze, cocaine, and cigarettes. But one day, something clicked and he decided to fight his way back to the light.

Listen to his story from hopelessness to the heroic triumph over the battle within.

'It’s a powerful thing, to feel like you belong somewhere.'—Scott Brown, Dad Edge Alliance Team Lead #dads #men #fathers #addiction #mastermind Click To Tweet

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
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Connect with Scott Brown

Facebook

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Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

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Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Learn More About Our Live Event!

June 5th – 8th 2019

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When a Father Commits Suicide

When a Father Commits Suicide

We all go through dark times in our lives. Whether it’s financial difficulties, marital tension, struggles with our children, or failures in our work, we may sometimes wonder if we’re simply a burden to all those around us.

Today’s guest is Adam Schafer. He is a host on Mind Pump, one of the biggest podcasts on iTunes. Adam is not a dad, but he was the son of a father who committed suicide. Adam was seven years old when his dad shot himself, and the tragedy created a shock wave that still reverberates in his life today.

Children whose fathers commit suicide have a 50/50 chance of being suicidal themselves. Adam struggled with isolation and depression because of the impact of his father’s suicide. He shares how he uses times of darkness to forge himself into the man he is today.

'When you decide to exit out of this place early, I don’t think you realize the collateral damage that truly comes from that.'—Adam Schafer #suicide #depression #mentalhealth #men #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

Adam Schafer’s Story

One day, Adam’s uncle came to pick him up from school. He didn’t see his uncle often, so it was a nice surprise for Adam. But instead of going home, he was taken to a neighbor’s house where the whole family was waiting in tears. Adam was told his father shot himself on accident while cleaning his gun. Of course, this wasn’t the truth.

Adam couldn’t process the emotions. He felt guilty because he didn’t cry at the funeral. When Adam returned to school, he didn’t know what to tell the other kids about his father. He told them his dad died in the Air Force and let them fill in the blanks.

His young mom was at a loss as to what to do. She had to take care of Adam and his younger sister. A year later, she married the first man who came into her life. It was an abusive relationship, and at as young as 8 years old, Adam was between his mom and stepdad breaking up fights.

At the same time, they were a very Christian family. Adam learned and listened in church how people were supposed to treat each other, but he would see the opposite at home. He remembers trying to teach his mom and step dad how to communicate with each other. At the age of 10, he felt like he was the most mature person in the household.

Adam’s mother isolated them, avoiding the stigma that came with the suicide. Because of this, Adam never developed certain social skills that most people take for granted, like how to enjoy family gatherings and how to receive gifts. These experiences were never part of his life.

Adam is now 37 years old. Till this day, he is still sifting through the fallout from his dad’s suicide. It has been a complex and difficult journey but it has also helped Adam become more empathetic and self-aware. He has learned to smirk at times of darkness, knowing that the best times of his life are waiting for him on the other side.

'You create so much damage that a person can’t even unpack and figure out.'—Adam Schafer #suicide #depression #loss #grief #children #families #relationships Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why you don’t have to have a kid to be in the role of a father
  • How suicide sets up kids for failure later in life
  • How Adam pieced together his father’s suicide
  • What circumstances led to his father’s suicide
  • How the suicide destroyed Adam’s relationship with his mom
  • Why he doesn’t know how to respond to getting gifts
  • His challenges in being part of his wife’s close-knit family
  • How the Bible laid a foundation for his healing
  • How the ripple effect of his dad’s suicide trickles down to younger siblings and to generations past, present, and future
  • Adam’s battle with depression after getting off testosterone
  • His message for dads who are suffering in a pit of darkness
'You’re better off here for sure. In the darkest times, the other side of that is always the best times of my life.'—Adam Schafer #mentalhealth #mentalillness #suicide #suicideawareness #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: Mind Pump Ep. 837 – Larry Hagner of the Dad Edge Podcast


Thanks for making us the #1 Dad podcast on iTunes!

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!


Adam Schafer’s Links

mindpumpmedia.com

Facebook

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YouTube

iTunes

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

Twitter @gooddadprojct

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