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The Masculine, the Man, and the Mountain with Traver Boehm

The Masculine, the Man, and the Mountain with Traver Boehm


Traver Boehm has a story unlike anything you’ve ever heard. He put himself through an experience most of us would find absolutely terrifying. This interview will inspire you to dig deep inside yourself and look at life in a completely new way.

Traver Boehm is an author, speaker, and founder of the Man Uncivilized Movement, which aims to inspire millions of men to balance their primal and divine masculine traits. He is not a dad or a husband at the moment. He was previously married with a child on the way, but everything came to a crushing end.

This sent Traver on a wild and painful physical, mental, and spiritual journey to discover who he truly was inside and what it means to be the masculine, the man, and the mountain.

'What would I need to do so that on taking that very last breath I would be in peace and I would be whole?'—Traver Boehm #life #death #bucketlist #adversity #selfdiscovery #noregrets Click To Tweet

Traver Boehm’s Story

When Traver talks about his life, you feel like you’re listening to the stories of ten men. In his 5th grade year, his family moved from their small town in Connecticut to Tokyo. He spent the late 80s as a blond-haired kid immersed in Japanese culture. He returned to the US to finish high school, but ended up moving to California where he became a bodyguard for celebrities and millionaires.

Traver left the job though. As exciting as it sounds, guarding a door for twelve hours was a bore, no matter how famous the person he worked for was. He went to the opposite end of the spectrum and enrolled in acupuncture school.

In the midst of his studies, he flew to Thailand to learn Muy Thai and then explored MMA fighting when he returned to Los Angeles. During his training, he discovered crossfit and opened his own gym.

He even started up a chocolate company that combine traditional Chinese herbs with chocolate. Whatever came to his mind, he went out and did it.

His life was full and active. He got married and had a baby on the way. Then it all came to an abrupt end.

And this is just the beginning of his story.

'What is underneath all of me? What happens when you take away my future kid, my wife, my business, my dog, when you take everything from me?'—Traver Boehm #loss #depression #identity #crisis #men #manhood #masculinity Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn About

  • Traver’s herbal chocolate for female libido called “Hungry Kitty”
  • The Year to Live Project, when he decided to live 2016 as if it was his last year on Earth
  • How he decided to spend his hypothetical last moments on Earth
  • How he thought this would heal his past
  • Why he called up all his exes to find out where he was deficient as a man
  • His experience volunteering for hospice and what wisdom dying people shared with him
  • What it means to ‘hold space’ in your daily interactions
  • His dark retreat where he spent 28 days in a completely lightless dome not much bigger than arm’s width wide
  • What prolonged absolute darkness did to his mind
  • How the dark retreat changed his life
  • The difference between divine and primal masculinity and why men need both
  • His advice for raising strong daughters and sons
Think, 'I’m the masculine. I’m the man. I’m the mountain.' It gives you the ability to hold just a bit of space between stimulus and response.—Traver Boehm #men #manhood #dads #fathers #parenting #family #patience #anger Click To Tweet

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Traver Boehm’s Links

How To Make Pain Your Guru | Traver Boehm | TEDxSantaBarbara

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relentless success

Relentless Success Through Triumph and Tragedy with Todd Stottlemyre

As you know, Todd Stottlemyre is a 3-time World Series MLB pitcher. You loved his last interview on The Good Dad Project. In this powerful episode, I sit with Todd face-to-face as he opens up about the most painful moment in his life, how he fought the enemy within himself, and what elements have helped him in his pursuit of relentless success.

Todd Stottlemyre

Todd Stottlemyre, author and speaker, has a passion for coaching how to win at the highest levels in business and personal life. Todd’s process demonstrates how lofty ambitions are achievable when you follow the sequential steps in his proven success system.

Todd is a former major league baseball pitcher where he played for 15 seasons and participated in three World Championships. He played for the Toronto Blue Jays, Oakland Athletics, St Louis Cardinals, Texas Rangers, and the Arizona Diamondbacks. Todd received the prestigious Branch Ricky Award and the Lou Gehrig Award. After his baseball career, Todd had a career in finance building an asset management business at a high-profile Wall Street firm. Todd lives in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife Erica and their five beautiful children.

The second you become prey to others’ opinions, your goals and dreams become the dreams of those people.

Todd spent his childhood going to Yankee Stadium with his dad, Mel Stottlemyre. He grew up amid other legendary baseball players and considers himself very lucky to have had such a wonderful experience. His father never pushed his brother and him to become baseball players. His parents wanted them to focus on doing whatever it was they enjoyed, but Todd wanted nothing more than to become a pitcher like his dad, and he did.

Despite having a childhood many boys would dream of, the family endured an unfathomable loss when Todd’s younger brother, Jason, was diagnosed with leukemia. Jason went through a few years of treatments and remission periods, but eventually the disease hit full-force and a bone marrow transplant was the only hope. Todd was the best match and went into surgery to have his marrow removed and given to his brother.

The transplant appeared to be a success. His brother was running around the hospital and the doctors were preparing for Jason to go home, but Todd would never get his little brother back. Two days before his release, Jason fell into a coma and died shortly afterward. Todd says that driving back home without his brother was the worst drive a person could ever make, and that beyond the sadness was hatred and guilt that his bone marrow was rejected by his brother’s body.

Todd says his brother was his greatest teacher because he never felt sorry for himself, he never quit. Todd decided he would never give up on anything and was determined to not let anything keep him from his dreams. This became his greatest driver in all his pursuits in live, but he did also have to get some help to move past his guilt and pain.

He taught me how to die.

Todd talks about the lives of all the others that poured into his – his dad, his mentors, and those who contributed to his success and helped him through his failures. His book, Relentless Success: 9-Point System for Major League Achievement is coming out on July 1st, 2017.

Listen to Todd’s first interview – Breaking the World of Impossible with Todd Stottlemyre


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forging strength

Forging Strength in Our Darkest Hour


Forging Strength in your darkest hour!

I have gotten a ton of feedback from our last podcast on “How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude.”  From what I have heard, most people were surprised that my family went through such a life altering event by losing my son Gabriel.

 

I have had a lot of emails, texts, and communication through the GDP community about how much the last episode effected them personally.  What I am finding is that there is a vast majority of families out there who are afflicted with miscarriage or death of an infant.  I have even had questions asking why I have opened my life up so much about what happened during that six weeks and how it ended.

 

The bottom line is this…I shared it for several reasons.

 

It’s Healing

When we go through something that is literally life altering it changes us forever.  It’s easy to fall into a mindset up anger.  It’s also very common that an event like what our family went through can easily tear the strongest families apart.  When we share the events of our life to give strength to others, we heal.  Simple as that.  When we heal, we help heal others through our own struggles.

 

Forging Strength of the Family

Losing my son not only effected me, but it also effected my entire family.  My wife and two older sons took the loss of our son very hard.  To be honest, I underestimated how much it would effect my two oldest boys (Ethan 10 and Mason 8).  I can tell you without a doubt a ten year-old and an eight-year old child feels the devastating effects of loss when something like this happens.  However, here we are eighteen months later and I can tell you without a doubt our family is stronger now than it ever has been.

 

Forging Strength through Gratitude

My family learned firsthand the power of the right perspective even in our darkest hour.  Our family literally went through six weeks of hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  Knowing you are going to lose your son will rattle even the strongest man.  However, I learned the power of having the right perspective in the midst of absolute uncertainty.  I kept a daily gratitude journal during this six-week long process and I believe it literally saved me from insanity.

 

Take 5 Minutes of Gratitude Every Morning

Every morning during that six-week journey, I wrote down three things that I was grateful for every morning.  I can tell you without a doubt, that most mornings it was very hard to see the positive aspects in my life.  However, I can tell you without a doubt that there were several things in my life that were positive.  It took a great deal of discipline to decide to focus on the right things in my life despite the chaos.  I would write down things like:

  • “I’m grateful I have a job.”
  • “I’m grateful my three boys and my wife all have their health.”
  • “I’m grateful we have a roof over our head.”

I will admit, on some days I stretched to find gratitude.  However, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, it was the best thing I did every morning.

 

My Hope for You

I share this story and this daily routine of:

Morning Gratitude – write down 3 things you are grateful for

Your Power Statement – write down your statement that you will use when the fear wolf starts to whisper in your ear.

Your Mission of the Day – what will you do today.  Come hell or high water, what will you accomplish today?

 

Evening Gratitude – write down 2-3 highlights through the day.  Get back into the mindset of gratitude.  The highlights are there every day if we decide to reflect on them.

Eradicate Regret from your Life – What was the lowest point of your day?  Write it down.  Get it out there.  Now, instead of focusing on how deeply you regret that low point, ask yourself “what is the lesson?”

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Thanks for checking out this week’s Five Minute Thursday Episode on Forging Strength in our Darkest Hours.

gratitude

How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude


Gratitude is the Secret Sauce to a fulfilled life and is the fuel that develops our grit.

It takes Grit to Climb to the Top

Some of us look at a mountain and immediately think, “Eh-there’s no way I’m climbing that thing.” Others of us will look at the mountain and think, “I’m climbing it. It’s not going to be fun or easy, but I’m climbing it.” To climb that mountain takes grit-the stuff that separates those who do from those who simply watch. Of course, having grit is not necessarily something we inherently have. Sometimes, we have to develop it.

What do you do with Adversity?

Shawn and Larry share their stories of how they developed grit. Both share the pivotal moments where they had a choice: give up or face the mountain. The essence of their stories is this-developing grit is a process, it’s getting up every day and knowing there is a choice. This choice is to live with gratitude, even in the face of extreme adversity.

Why Morning Gratitude is a MUST

Easier said than done, but if we choose to wake up every morning and look at what lies ahead of us with a grateful heart, challenges will seem easier. Larry suggests making daily gratitude deliberate. In other words, one of the first things he suggests doing each morning is writing down what you are grateful for. (He even includes his kids in on the practice and they look forward to doing it!).

What is your ONE MISSION OF THE DAY?

With this in mind, he then suggests creating a daily mission statement. Think about it-when you know what you are going to do, you have a better chance of actually doing it. This mission statement doesn’t have to be profound, it can be something as simple as, “Today I am going to read a book to my kids before bed.” There. Done. And guess what? Mission accomplished.

YOUR POWER STATEMENT!

If you happen to see your day getting off track, your mission statement in jeopardy of being derailed, Larry says he uses his “power statement” to bring him back to home base. This “power statement” is the phrase that you utter to yourself when you feel fear keeping you from climbing up that proverbial mountain. It’s the same thing the Navy Seals use when they face a challenge (for more on this, listen to Episode 28 with Mark Divine. Oh! And he’s coming back!). Choose something simple like, “I’ve got this” or, really, whatever speaks to you.

Eradicate Regret from Your Life with EASE

Even when you have done all of this, there will be times when we won’t be the best versions of ourselves. But, instead of allowing the regret to take over, embrace it. Yep, that’s right, embrace regret (sounds oxymoronic, but stay with us here). Regret can be a great teacher; it can show us where we need to improve. So, when we embrace regret, we not only learn from what we did wrong, but we also know how to improve in future events. This way, you really are eliminating regret from your life by absorbing its lesson.

Back to Gratitude

Finally, when the day is done and you have a chance to reflect on all you have accomplished, look back at two of your most positive moments that day and one regret. Be grateful for each of them, but take a lesson from them as well. Once we learn to master our failures as well as our successes, climbing our many life mountains won’t seem so impossible.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

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Thank you for checking out our show on How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude.