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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

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LinkedIn

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


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confident mentally tough daughters

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy


What kind of father do we need to be to raise girls into strong, empathetic, and emotionally resilient women? Today’s show is all about how to raise confident, mentally tough daughters.

Emily McCarthy is a former case officer for the CIA and the cofounder of GORUCK, a brand with Special Forces roots that leads backpacking events all over the world.

Emily lost her father when she was just getting out of college. It was a devastating blow, but the foundation he laid will echo for generations.

Emily talks about how her dad gamified safety and defense so she would always be ready to protect herself and others. She also talks about the many ways her father showed up in her life that made her into the incredible woman she is today.

Emily’s story is proof of the ripple effect a father leaves on his children’s lives, even if his time is cut short. Don’t miss this moving episode.

My father was a big part of my life because he showed up.

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters

  • What it was like for Emily to witness her father dying
  • The void left by the pillar of the family
  • In the wake of his death, she traveled the world as a language teacher.
  • How Emily’s father taught her and her brother important lessons veiled in fun activities
  • How her dad showed them to protect themselves through the gamification of safety and defense
  • How Emily’s father expected her to protect her brother and anyone who needed help
  • The many large and small ways her dad showed up for her
  • Emily’s father technique to train her “not to be a wuss”
  • How Emily’s father’s lessons helped her through bullying
  • How to instill healthy fear in your children
  • If you shelter a child too much, they will not have the healthy fear to protect themselves.
  • The unusual relationship between her and her husband/GORUCK cofounder, Jason
  • How once, in 5 years of their marriage, they never lived together
  • Her experience as a case officer for the CIA post-911
  • The happy accident of the GORUCK idea
  • How GORUCK events make people excited about life and bring about a sense of community
  • The benefits of GORUCK Events for parents and kids
  • How kids in a group setting self-correct­­–”the village teaches”
  • Rucking is just like life–you don’t know what to expect.
  • How Emily sees her father in her children, even though they never met him.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Being a Coach, a Dad, and Raising Strong Daughters with Bret Johnson

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Emily McCarthy’s Links

gooddadproject.com/goruck

Find a GORUCK Club

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Twitter

Instagram

 


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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

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What did you think of the show?

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owning fatherhood dakota meyer

Owning Fatherhood with Dakota Meyer

Dakota Meyer is a former Marine and veteran of the war in Afghanistan. He’s also the host of the Owning It Podcast and the divorced father of two little girls.

Dakota shares his experience with PTS and his attempted suicide. He talks about how to step out of the victim mentality to become a greater version of ourselves. He also tells us the secrets to owning fatherhood, how to be an emotionally intelligent parent, and why we need to always surround ourselves with a trusted team for counsel.

You will hear a side of Dakota Meyer you haven’t heard on any other show. Get ready to own your life as a man and a dad!

If you’re not living for something bigger than yourself, it’s hard to do the right thing.

Dakota Meyer

Dakota Meyer is a former United States Marine. A veteran of the War in Afghanistan, he was awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions during the Battle of Ganjgal on 8 September 2009, in Kunar Province, Afghanistan. Meyer is the second-youngest living Medal of Honor recipient, the third living recipient for either the Iraq War or the War in Afghanistan and the first living U.S. Marine in 38 years to be so honored.

Owning It

This Owning It podcast is about owning your life, about leaving a legacy and giving more than you take. It’s about making the most of each day and giving your life true meaning. When your last day comes, your living legacy is left only in the memories of your loved ones and on your tombstone. On that tombstone are only two of the important dates in your life, the day you were born and the day you pass on; The only two days you don’t control. Owning the dash is about taking control of the days in between: That dash between the day you’re born and the day you die.

What You’ll Learn

  • The first time Dakota realized he wasn’t a victim was the day he put the gun to his head
  • Whatever’s in your head is not true. It’s not necessarily reality.
  • You may tell yourself your life sucks, but is really only a day or a minute that sucks?
  • How you have the make the choice not to be a victim over and over again
  • Complain or do something about it
  • You’ll let yourself down before everything else
  • How to define a mission and purpose
  • How most men haven’t seen an example of being a good father and are just doing what they were taught
  • Why your entire life, you always need counsel
  • Dakota says his only real skill is to surround himself with incredible people
  • His advice for men who feel threatened when they’re surrounded by people more successful than them
  • Don’t bitch about a problem unless you’re willing to fix it yourself
  • The formula = 5% bitching (stating problem) 5% planning (how to fix it), 90% taking action
  • His perspective on the war on masculinity
  • Why domestic, violence, and rape are the result of masculinity being taken away
  • What’s important for him to emulate as a man for his daughters
    1. Be an example of what a man should be – He wants his daughters to know what qualities to look for in her partner.
    2. Show how a woman should be treated – He wants to show his girls how a man is supposed to treat a woman so they will expect the same from their future relationships.
    3. Divorce is an option if necessary – Dakota didn’t want to model that it’s okay to be miserable. Divorce was the best solution in his case.
  • The most difficult part of being divorced
  • How being divorced from his wife, Bristol Palin, makes them better parents
  • His unwavering commitment to quality time
  • Why we should call dads out who brag about not changing diapers
  • How society has set a low bar for men on what being a dad is about
  • How dads need to accept that parenting is hard and there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t enjoy it at times
  • How Dakota didn’t feel the love with his second daughter and thought something was wrong with him
  • The most important life lessons he’s learned
  • Advice to fathers with sons on how to raise them to become better men
  • How men are not emotionally intelligent or mature, but we can exercise our empathy by feeling our emotions and connecting with people
  • The most destructive team to have around you are the people that buy into your bullshit and don’t call you out when you’re wrong.

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week.
The next one might be yours!

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Dakota Meyer’s Links

Owning It Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

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What did you think of the show?

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Teaching Your Kids to Defend Themselves

Teaching Your Kids to Defend Themselves

Fight, flight, or freeze. These are humans’ three reactions to danger. What tools do your kids have to defend themselves when they are threatened?

As parents, we hope our kids will never be forced into this position, but in order to protect them, we must teach them how to stick up for themselves.

Martial arts are a great way to give kids the tools they need to defend themselves. They also teach life skills like discipline, perseverance, and courage. It’s not just about fighting. It’s about empowerment—physical, mental, and emotional.

Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Philipp Lomboy back on the show. He is a martial arts and self-defense expert and the creator of the Everyday Fighter podcast and community. He is also the father of four girls. He has instilled training as part of his daughters’ lives and has raised them to know that they have the right to set their own boundaries and demand respect.

Listen to the benefits of teaching your kids to defend themselves in this short episode!

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RELATED EPISODES:

The Everyday Fighter in Life


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
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Philipp Lomboy’s Links

everydayfighter.me

Facebook

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE book on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

the dad edge alliance


What did you think of the show?

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Tag us when you share on social media!

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The Everyday Fighter in Life


Every man is fighting something in his life. It could be a problem at work, an issue in a marriage, or a dilemma with our kids. It might even be something physical, mental, or emotional. But most of us were raised with the “suck it up” mentality. We hold in all our frustrations and struggle alone.

Thursday Throwdown is our show centered on relatable dads. Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Philipp Lomboy on the show. He is an everyday dad of four girls and he is the host of a podcast called Everyday Fighter.

Philipp was a guy who never talked and always avoided conflict, especially when it came to his wife. He shares how making the choice to be more open has changed his life and inspired the idea for his new podcast.

 

MENTIONED EPISODE: How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Philipp Lomboy’s Links

everydayfighter.me

Facebook

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project