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parenting through uncertainty

Resilience Parenting Through Uncertainty with Holly and Chris Santillo


If we don’t have the parenting tools to remain calm in stressful situations, we will default into panic mode. How can we keep our cool and make the right call when everything goes wrong?

Holly and Chris Santillo return to The Dad Edge today. They are both blackbelt Kempo karate instructors and the authors of Resilience Parenting: Raising Resilient Children in an Era of Detachment and Dependence. They share the strategies they use to lead their family through the unexpected and remain flexible when operating out of their comfort zone.

We have never needed to be more resilient than right now. After this episode, you will know how to navigate through uncertainty so your kids can learn how too.

“When parenting is the hardest, that is the time to do it the right way.”—Holly Santillo

Chris and Holly Santillo

Chris and Holly Santillo are not your regular authors.

Chris has a degree in Computer Science from Harvey Mudd College and an MBA from Georgetown University. Holly has a degree in Anthropology from Williamette University.

They are the epitome of the Latin phrase “Mens sana in corpore sano,” which means “A healthy mind in a healthy body.”

Having strong backgrounds in Martial Arts with Chris being the founder and Head Instructor at Potomac Kempo in Alexandria, Virginia, and Holly being a Senior Instructor, they have managed to develop the principles of Martial Arts into a cohesive parenting methodology.

They believe that children (and parents) with broader horizons and an open mind can sow the seeds for future generations of confident, strong, and resilient adults.

Now, you can find them gliding through the Siberian steppes on the Trans-Siberian Railway, visiting the buzzing markets of Samarkand on the Silk Road, or wondering at the vastness of the Gobi Desert in Mongolia. They have decided to live a nomadic life and explore the world with their three boys in order to bring back memories, ideas, experiences, and a fresh view on life.

What You’ll Learn

  • Creating your own story deliberately—not living your life according to what everyone else is doing
  • Why living intentionally is an ongoing process
  • Why the Santillos choose an environment that has two requirements:
    • forces family time
    • creates uncertainty in life
  • When life becomes too certain, it becomes too easy and growth stops.
  • How to deal with the fear of not making the right choices for your family
  • How to pivot when plans go wrong
  • Battling imposter syndrome
  • How your kids can become your teachers
  • Restart your life when you find you’re not living in alignment with what’s important to you.
  • Kids force us to be the best version of ourselves, giving us an opportunity to rise up and be better.
  • Stop trying to just get through another day. Take time to define your family values. Lean on them when things become uncertain.
  • All the times you don’t give into your child for the sake of convenience pay off bigtime in the future.
  • Approach parenting as a teacher.
  • How to talk to your kids about the state of the world.
  • How to lead even if you don’t know what to do.
  • How to not lose it when your kids have worn your patience down to nothing
  • When you should and should not shout
  • We don’t want to pretend to our kids that we always have the answer. If we don’t share our failures with our kids, they will think something is wrong with them whenever they aren’t perfect.
  • You should not tell kids everything is going to be okay when it isn’t.
  • Comfort is not the goal.

Our job is not to keep someone alive for eighteen years, but to send out an independent, fulfilled human being.—Chris Santillo

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Three Pillars of Resilience Parenting: Exclusive Q&A with Chris and Holly Santillo

Resilience Parenting with Chris Santillo


Protect your kids with the Bark App

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Holly and Chris Santillo’s Links

fivebackpacks.family

potomackempo.com

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How to Thrive in the Face of Uncertainty


We all want to survive this crisis, but how can we leverage the challenges we face to actually accelerate our growth as men, husbands, and fathers? How do we use adversity as an opportunity to connect and learn in ways we never have before?

It is possible to thrive in the face of uncertainty if we look at every problem as a stepping stone to greater self-awareness and purpose. In this exclusive episode, we will teach you how.

Today we talk about the first Dad Edge Virtual Summit and the 3rd annual Dad Edge Live Summit. You will witness exactly what happens behind the scenes in The Dad Edge Alliance and the changes that take place in the lives of men who work as a tribe. Jeff Bouwman and Jason McKenzie join us, along with our members for an amazing session that shows just how everyday regular dads are reframing their challenges, using them as catalysts for extreme transformation.

What You’ll Learn

  • What is the appreciative inquiry technique?
  • The power of bringing people together to connect in meaningful ways
  • How to reframe challenge into opportunity
  • How crisis can force an evolution of the family in a positive way
  • How to be present during times of stress, see the beauty in every moment, and find something to be grateful for no matter what
  • How to stay curious
  • The power of asking yourself the right questions
  • Stop thinking about all we can’t do during this crisis. What can we do?
  • Letting go of expectation to become open to possibility
  • Being aware of the stories you tell yourself
  • How to tell if you’re acting from a place of fear

THRIVE IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

The Dad Edge Virtual Summit

IT’S TIME TO RE-INVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

The lessons we are learning now will only enhance what’s possible in the future.  Pause for a second.  Consider what we are really in service of.  There’s a good chance that we are going to serve a mission much… much… bigger than the one we thought we were here to serve.

Somewhere on the other side of this, maybe we are ushering in a golden era of sorts.  The thing that has taken so much blame for causing distraction, disconnection, even isolation – technology… is now the only solution we have, to bring us all together.  And it will.  History shows that hardship is always the pathway to breakthroughs!

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

EVENT DETAILS:

June 4th: Connecting to Shared Identity

– 10:30am to 12:30 CST (Morning Session)
– 2:00pm to 4:00 CST (Afternoon Session)

June 5th: Moving from Surviving to Thriving

– 10:30am to 12:30 CST (Morning Session)
– 2:00pm to 4:00 CST (Afternoon Session)

Guest Speakers

Dr. Meg Meeker
New York Times Bestselling Author of “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” and “HERO”
Anthony Trucks
Former NFL Football Player and American Ninja Warrior
Aaron Walker
Founder of View From the Top and bestselling author of “View from the Top” and coming soon “Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence.”
Dominic Quartuccio

Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

CHOOSE YOUR PACKAGE

 


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COVID-19: How to Protect and Lead Your Family Through Crisis with Retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman


COVID-19 has put us into a situation that we have never experienced before, and we’re unprepared as fathers. Fear, anxiety, and stress can wear on us. Our spouses and children are struggling to adjust as we are confined to our homes. The challenge for us as the leaders of our households is to learn how to best protect and lead our families through this pandemic.

Jason Redman is back on The Dad Edge for this crucial episode. He is a retired Navy SEAL and author of The Trident: The Forging and Reforging of a Navy Seal Officer and Overcome: Crush Adversity with the Leadership Techniques of America’s Toughest Warriors. He is a husband, a father of three, and now teaches people from every walk of life how to overcome any “life ambush” they may face.

These unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures. Jason tells fathers what we need to do mentally, emotionally, physically to show up as the best leaders for our families and communities. He tells us how to be honest and realistic with our kids about what’s going on in the world while keeping them calm, productive, and at ease. He gives us a list on how to prepare for the worst while hoping for the best, making sure we choose positivity over negativity in everything we do.

This is a handbook for every dad on how to best protect and lead your family through crisis.

The most powerful asset you have in any crisis—in any moment where leadership truly kicks in—is your ability to project positivity in the face of negativity, in the face of uncertainty, and in the face of chaos.—Jason Redman

Jason Redman

Former Lieutenant Jason Redman spent 11 years as an enlisted Navy SEAL. For his bravery in battle, he was awarded the Bronze Star Medal with Valor, the Purple Heart, the Navy Commendation Medal, Joint Service Achievement Medal, Navy Achievement Medal (five awards), and the Combat Action Ribbon (two awards). After being severely wounded in Iraq while acting as Assault Force Commander, Redman returned to active duty with the Navy SEALs, retiring in 2013. He has founded a non-profit corporation called Wounded Wear, which provides clothing tailored for wounded warriors. He is also the creator of GetOffX.com. He and his wife Erica live with their children in Virginia.

Overcome

Retired Navy SEAL and New York Times bestselling author Jason Redman divulges how to triumph over adversity using proven Special Operations habits and mindsets.

Adversity can often catch you by surprise and leave you struggling with what to do next. What if you could confront any adversity, from the biggest challenges — the loss of your job, divorce, health issues, bankruptcy — to normal daily challenges — a late flight, a disappointing phone call, a missed promotion, a bad day — and not just survive it, but thrive afterwards?

Redman was horrifically wounded in Iraq in 2007 when he was shot at close range through the face and arm. After 40 surgeries, including extensive facial reconstruction and skin grafts, he came back from this experience stronger than ever — despite carrying scars and injuries he will have for the rest of his life. Redman went on to launch two successful companies and speaks all over the country on how to build better leaders through his Overcome mindset.

Overcome is based on extensive research and interviews with America’s toughest warriors, including retired 4-star Admiral William McRaven, retired Navy SEAL Jocko Willink, retired 4-star General Stanley McChrystal, and others. In this book, Redman teaches:

  • How to survive any life ambush
  • How to move from defense to offense using the proactive techniques of SEAL teams
  • How to strengthen your endurance during long-term trials
  • How to rediscover and thrive in your life purpose
  • How to lead your team (whether in business or family) to success
  • How to compete with the top 1% in your field
  • How to stay the course even when you want to quit
  • And more

Some people move through adversity and others fall underneath it. Learn how you can be counted among those who will Overcome.

What You’ll Learn

  • Be careful of the seeds you plant in your kids.
  • You can lead from any situation. Oftentimes we tell ourselves don’t have the ability to lead or we don’t have the ability to influence people. I had learned that when I was laying on the hospital bed that you can even lead from there.
  • Gathering intelligence on the situation.
  • Let your family know the truth of what’s going on while projecting calm, confidence, and positivity.
  • How Jason put his own family in quarantine and what his rules are.
  • How to keep sane in quarantine: No lying around in pajamas all day. Every day, family members have to do at least one productive thing.
  • Jason’s family’s plan to livestream a rock band concert from home
  • Dealing with homeschooling and restless kids.
  • Humans crave structure and accomplishing things. We are task oriented. Clean and organize your home.
  • Let your kids see you doing something proactive every day in business, home, and community.
  • What to do when your kids come to you worried.
  • Mindset: Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
  • Keeping in mind that when humans get down to their basic levels that they will do drastic and unpredictable things.
  • If the situation gets to its worst, first responders won’t be able to come and help.
  • A plan and preparedness puts your kids in the comfort zone.
  • Jason packs bags for the whole family with 6 weeks of food, water, water purification, weapons, and camping gear.
  • The of the community is one of the most powerful things we have. In the past, tribes were the best source of protection. It’s the team that makes the difference, not the individual.
  • Why we should reconnect with neighbors (from a distance). It’s never too late to start forging relationships. Every person brings their own skillset for survival.
  • The Pentagon of Peak Performance – leading yourself to balance in life
    • Physical leadership – nutrition, sleep, and fitness
    • Mental leadership – reading, expanding education, learning outside your comfort zone
    • Emotional leadership – keeping calm in chaos, choosing positivity in negativity
    • Social leadership – how we build our reach of influence
    • Spiritual leadership – tapping into a higher power
  • It is not abnormal to feel out of sorts. Do one thing to move the needle forward.
  • It’s dangerous for us to devolve out of our routine. Focusing on the crisis will compound the problem.
  • Give the medical community your support. They are the Special Forces for the war against the virus.

Sign up for Jason Redman’s Live Webinar
6pm EST March 31st, 2020

 

We overcome. That’s what we do. This country has beat all the odds for 243 years, and we’re going to beat this too.—Jason Redmond

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The 6 Tenets of Success with Former Navy SEAL Jason Redman

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

 


Jason Redman

jasonredman.com

getoffx.com

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