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strong men strong marriages

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier


Our guest today believes the saying “happy wife, happy life” is a lie. If you feel like you’re doing everything right in your marriage and wonder why it’s not working, this show is for you.

In this episode, we have invited Dr. Mike Frazier, the founder of Strong Men, Strong Marriages. Today, we talk about what it really means to be a man and a husband and how you need to define that for yourself. We’ll go through communication, connection, intimacy, and all the secrets you can use to make your marriage strong and exciting.

My marriage looked good from the outside. But inside it was a nightmare.

Dr. Mike Frazier

Mike’s been married since 2005 to his beautiful wife Elizabeth. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in neuroscience from the Brigham Young University, attended UCLA medical school, and went through the psychiatry residency training program at UC Irvine.

What You’ll Learn

How did Mike get involved in being a doctor?

[19:22]

Around age 16, Mike felt like he wanted to go into a counseling type of profession. He did couples counseling as part of his training in psychiatry. But what really pointed Mike in that direction was his own struggles in his marriage. Mike’s wife was actually sex trafficked by her family for many years, from a child up until were married.

[23:53]

Mike’s wife didn’t really trust him. It was hard for her to talk about sex. And so Mike felt like he was feeling not doing a good job. The other side of happy wife, happy life is that if you do enough to make her happy, it’s her turn to make you happy. And so Mike felt like since he’s doing his part, now it’s his wife’s turn.

[25:20]

He realized it was more about building up his strength, becoming more attractive, and that’s what actually worked to create a better and stronger marriage.

It’s impossible that we can make someone else happy

[29:50]

That was the kind of a real breakthrough moment for Mike was he remember he was listening to a podcast by someone named Jody Moore. And she just said this phrase, you are not responsible for your wife’s emotions. And he was like, “what? I’m not responsible for emotions.” Mike felt like he had been let out of jail.

[30:38]

Where do emotions come from? What Mike teaches and believes is that they actually come from thoughts, beliefs, and experiences and that creates a certain emotion.

Moving the “Win”

[32:59]

Moving the win. So instead of the win being “my wife’s happy” the win is “I behaved in a way that I want to impact as a husband.” A lot of really good things happen when you do that.

[36:30]

A lot of men are under that impression of like, if I do X, hopefully, she’ll do Y. And if she doesn’t, it’s going to rub me the wrong way. And after that happens so many times, that’s when that animosity builds.

[40:55]

What you have to do is you have to ask for what you need, want, desire. Do it in a confident way. Do it in a secure way. Do it in an empowering way. Not an overpowering way.

[44:46]

It’s a risk. You have to give up the relationship you have now to get the relationship you want.

What kind of husband do you want to be?

[46:47]

What Mike recommends is you actually write what kind of husband you want to be and visualize it. You start your day with that and it’s clear to you.

[47:31]

The other element that Mike shares is this idea of how are you trying to move your wife? Are you trying to move her into a position of subservience and obedience, or are you trying to move her into a place of freedom and choice?

[50:02]

You have to control the controllable and you have to measure the tactics, behaviors, the things that you do that are going right to help move that relationship forward.

[58:14]

A great way to look at conflicts is it is an opportunity actually for more connections. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

RELATED EPISODES:

Toolkit for an Extraordinary Marriage with Larry Hagner

How to Build a Ridiculously Fulfilling Marriage with Nate Bagley

21 Days to an Extraordinary Marriage


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Dr. Mike Frazier’s Links

mikefraziermd.com

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


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emotional intelligence skills for men

Emotional Intelligence Skills for Men with Dr. Nick Sotelo

In this episode, we have invited Dr. Nick Sotelo, a coach and counselor. He is a leader in our Dad Edge Alliance and guides people to reaching their potential. He has succeeded in helping people achieve more in their careers and relationships.

Dr. Nick also helps men struggling with addiction, their identity, and their ability to connect well with spouses and children. Today we talk about emotional intelligence skills for men.

You will learn how to master your anger and patience, how to become more self-aware, and how to realize and reach your potential for an upgraded life!

What You’ll Learn

Relationship Pitfalls

[9:22]

Nick discusses the importance of the degree of knowledge and awareness. It’s about different styles of how families do certain things and blend them into a new relationship.

[10:26]

Building a relationship is new learning, and sometimes there come challenges that people should know what’s worth fighting for. Nick emphasizes the importance of awareness of what people are bringing into a relationship, especially on the front-end types.

Overcoming the Feeling of Brokenness

[15:32]

Finding people, especially with your family, or creating a connection to spiritual and religious institutions and asking or receiving guidance and mentorship around relationship issues, specifically communication, and learning what it takes to make a marriage work.

[16:36]

Nobody wants to view themselves as broken. But learning from a different perspective, it is essential to acknowledge brokenness, get over it and move on.

Realization and Acceptance

[17:28]

There is nothing wrong with being imperfect. The difference is that as being flawed, at a mastermind, people are humble and is always eager to learn and live a legendary life. In the group environment at a mastermind, a variety of people acts to learn from different experiences.

[20:50]

Nick shared that people should be allowed to show their vulnerabilities. He once was one of the guys who can’t accept that something is wrong and tell people that everything was fine.

[22:10]

In their call team statement, there is a saying that “we are men willing to do the work,” He believes that it is vital for people as accountability is one way to help someone forward.

Anger Issues

[28:04]

Nick studied the psychological side of feelings and emotions and how people will integrate them and deal with everyday frustrations that can cause anger.

[29:53]

Anger is a confusing feeling when connected to other emotions. He believes that part of the work is understanding what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you afraid, and what makes you angry. He said that people are mad because other feelings could be active, and we are not aware of it.

Four Phases Components

[30:48]

People should figure out their thoughts and their feelings.

[31:58]

Learn to take some box breathing deep breaths and how to remove yourself from a situation. Also, learn how to trigger some helpful thoughts in your mind instead of clinging to the not so useful ideas.

[32:17]

Building up people’s resilience to anger is essential to him. Change the routine and change the media that you choose to take into your being every single day.

[33:05]

When enduring a problem with anger or a pattern with anger, learn to link it back to forgiveness. Either forgiveness for yourself, for something that you think that you’ve done, or forgiveness for other people along the way that have inflicted damage.

Dr. Nick Sotelo’s Links

nicksotelo.com

LinkedIn


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Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 457 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

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The Anatomy of Marriage Part 2: The Man’s Side

Are you white-knuckling it through your marriage? Sometimes the relationship with our spouse gets off track and it seems beyond repair. We wonder how long we can hold on, but it’s not because the marriage is hopeless. It’s that we don’t possess the right tools to make it work.

Today’s guest is Seth Studley, the other half of The Anatomy of Marriage podcast and app for couples. If you listened to the show with his wife Melanie, you’ll remember that their marriage was so bad that she ended up giving him a black eye.

Seth is a Licensed Family Therapist and he gives us the man’s perspective on marriage. He tells us the signs that his relationship was headed for disaster, how it totally derailed, and the emotional labor he had to do to piece it back together.

For those men who are tired of fighting their way through marriage, this show is a game changer. Listen now or download for later!

 

 

The Anatomy of Marriage

A great marriage is built little-by-little over time. AOM Radio is a fun and engaging daily show that will help you create a fulfilling, sexy, fun and life-giving marriage. And hey, it’s cheaper than marriage counseling!

No one person has the answers for every marriage, that is why Seth and Melanie Studley bring on amazing guests and have REAL CONVERSATIONS about sex, money, kids, marriage counseling, relationships, and so much more!

Seth and Melanie believe that marriage help shouldn’t be boring so we created the Anatomy Of Marriage App, the Couples Counseling App that’s fast, fun and NEVER BORING! Better relationships in the blink of an eye and WAY CHEAPER then marriage counseling!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

What You’ll Learn

  • Seth and Melanie were emotionally immature and arguing all the time.
  • 7 years into their marriage, Melanie gave Seth a black eye when she found out he had been lying about watching porn.
  • You shouldn’t look to partner for self-worth.
  • Being super introspective is the first step to repairing your marriage.
  • Nobody’s got it all together, not even Seth who is a couples’ therapist.
  • Men are used to white-knuckling it alone.
  • Not knowing yourself or your feelings effects your marriage.
  • Men need to do the work. Emotional labor. Get real with yourself.
  • How talking out loud to someone will help you figure out what’s going on with yourself.
  • How to create healthy transition time between work and family
  • What is cognitive dissonance and how it creates turmoil
  • We think we can do it alone, but if we could do it on our own, we would’ve done it by now. That is why men need a coach, therapist, or group.
  • The things are men not talking about when it comes to marriage problems.
  • We are capable of superman moments if we give ourselves a chance.
  • Don’t put off addressing the problems in your relationship. You can be your own guru.
  • Get comfortable admitting your struggling to your wife. She wants the emotional connection, which cultivates intimacy.
  • If you want to change, don’t give yourself a way out.

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Anatomy of Marriage with Melanie Studley

#75Hard: Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to dadedgemanagement@gmail.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Seth Studley and the Anatomy of Marriage

anatomyofmarriage.com

Podcast

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

coaching@anatomyofmarriage.com

ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE APP (Use promocode Dadedge)

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Build an Extraordinary Marriage!

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge

battling porn and sexual addiction

Going Deeper: Battling Porn and Sexual Addiction with Eddie Capparucci


Pornography has never been so unbelievably accessible, but what starts out innocently enough can eventually take over our lives. We know this is a huge issue for men today because our episodes on battling porn and sexual addiction top the charts.

Today we talk to an expert who has an approach to porn and sexual addiction that you haven’t heard before.

Eddie Capparucci is licensed counselor and the author of Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction. He tells us how men’s struggle with porn is linked to how we dealt with pain in our childhood. He reveals why too much porn can ruin our sex lives psychologically as well as physiologically. Eddie also gives us a step-by-step example of how casual porn consumption can descend into the destruction of a family.

Kids are being exposed to sexual content as young as 8 years old. Whether you are struggling with an addiction to pornography or not, this is a show every father needs to listen to.

Eddie Capparucci

Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS, specializes in treating sexual and pornography addictions. Among his many clients, Eddie has worked with professional athletes including NFL and MLB players and television personalities. He also serves as the clinical director for the National Decency Coalition, an organization working with state governments to help limit the access of pornography to minors.

In addition to being a prominent sexual and pornography addiction therapist, he has spoken to numerous organizations regarding the harmful impact pornography has on individuals, relationships, and society.

Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

If you have been battling a sex/porn addiction you understand how frustrating it can be to fail time and time again. This book provides a new and proven treatment method that will empower you to take control and finally manage your addiction. The key is understanding the road to recovery from a sex/porn addiction goes through your childhood. Why? Because it’s your inner child who is running the show. The Inner Child Recovery Process has proven successful with a large majority of clients in my counseling practice. It has changed the lives of many individuals who felt helpless and hopeless due to their addiction. And it can do the same for you. Endorsed by many leaders in the sex/porn addiction field, the Inner Child Recovery Process is a game changer and can be the solution you have been seeking when it comes to breaking free from your sex and porn addictions.

What You’ll Learn

  • Porn addiction really has nothing to do with sex or a lack of sex.
  • Eddie talks about his traumatic childhood and how he turned to sex and pornography.
  • He destroyed two marriages and left a trail of broken hearts.
  • What is attachment disorder and how does it affect our sexual relationships?
  • Most men he deals with lack emotional intelligence, which means they cannot tell what feelings they’re experiencing.
  • As men, when we learn to attach and bond with true intimacy, we don’t need the sexual stimulation and validation from pornography.
  • Being vulnerable is a skillset that boys aren’t taught.
  • We need to let our kids to feel emotional pain.
  • The road to recovery from pornography or any kind of sexual addiction goes back to childhood.
  • Negative events connect us to pain from the past.
  • We need to learn to identify core triggers.
  • The nine child-types, their different pain points, and accompanying triggers.
  • The dangerous mindset that you’re not hurting anybody when you consume pornography.
  • Porn from a young age is teaching boys that it’s okay to objectify little girls.
  • Girls get the message it’s okay to be objectified.
  • With regular porn use, a man will lose interest in his wife. He will find her less attractive and less sexually satisfying. He’ll look for more than she’s willing to give.
  • In almost 50% of men, pornography escalates into darker territory. The brain builds a tolerance and needs more extreme stimulation.
  • Men start to withdraw and distance themselves from family.
  • Physically, chronic masturbation has an effect on erection and ability to ejaculate.
  • How to recover from porn and sexual addiction:
    • Get some accountability.
    • Surround yourself in community
    • Own it. Fess up, at least to yourself
    • Sit down with someone to find out why you do it in the first place.
  • Advice to men when they are triggered to use porn
  • The disorder will not go away. Take action and learn to manage it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Everything Men Need to Know About Porn with J.K. Emezi

How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography with Kristen Jenson

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Eddie Capparucci’s Links

innerchild-sexaddiction.com

Facebook

Twitter

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge

Self-compassion instead of self-sacrifice

Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Sacrifice

At the Dad Edge Alliance, we’re disrupting the default settings of fatherhood so that we can go from living ordinary to extraordinary lives. One of the reasons we men become frustrated and burned out is because we feel it’s our job to shoulder the load for everyone. But if we practice self-compassion instead of self-sacrifice, not only will we feel happier, but we’ll also find we have more to give to everyone in our lives.

Today we interview another dad in the trenches. John Culford is a recent Dad Edge Alliance member who’s been married for fourteen years and is the father of two sons, aged twelve and thirteen.

John shares his challenges with communication, understanding, and connection with his wife and kids. He reveals what strategies he’s implementing to make his family grow closer during quarantine and beyond. He also tells us how getting into the habit of being kind to himself, claiming space, and opening up about his struggles with his family his secret to staying grounded and moving forward.

You don’t necessarily have to sacrifice yourself for the benefit of others.—John Culford, DEA member

What You’ll Learn

  • John’s experience with a pre-marriage bootcamp
  • We he’s learned that no conflict is really resolved
  • How to listen effectively during disagreements so that your spouse knows she’s being heard
  • Why Joh is setting aside 1 hour a week with his wife to talk about things they don’t know about each other.
  • Strip down to the facts of a challenging problem or source of stress. We often don’t know why we’re really bothered by something.
  • Detach from feelings when thinking of solutions to a problem. Emotion creates noise that distracts us from the best path forward.
  • How to parent a child with anxiety
  • How to be there for your kids when they’ve matured and don’t open up to you any more
  • How to intentionally make time for important discussions so it’s best for everyone
  • Why you must remove “buts” from your responses
  • How to show your kids to turn challenging situations like coronavirus into a positive experience they look back and remember in a positive light.
  • How to explain to your family when you need time alone.

Be kind to yourself. You’re going to fail. As put together as you think you are it’s okay to make mistakes. Let your family become part of that story.—John Culford, DEA member

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.



 


THRIVE IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

IT’S TIME TO REINVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Coronavirus is forcing our evolution as fathers.  We are all going to build a whole new set of superpowers.  And these superpowers are needed right now.  For many of us, we are multiplying our future ability to serve, exponentially.

YOU WILL NOT WANT TO MISS THIS.

Guest Speakers

Dr. Meg Meeker
New York Times Bestselling Author of “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters” and “HERO”
Anthony Trucks
Former NFL Football Player and American Ninja Warrior
Aaron Walker
Founder of View From the Top and bestselling author of “View from the Top” and coming soon “Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence.”
Dominic Quartuccio
Bestselling author of “Design Your Future.”

CHOOSE YOUR PACKAGE