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Using Work to Avoid Home Life

Are You Using Work to Avoid Home Life?


Being a father and husband is full of challenges. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to handle problems at home. We have the urge to get away. It’s easier to keep busy with work and focus on providing rather than wrestling with the day to day issues of family life.

Today’s guest is everyday dad, Jeremy Bennett. He has been married for nineteen years and is the father of two teenage boys. Jeremy is a firefighter who is passionate about his career. Jeremy traveled frequently and became involved in the world of firefighting as a leader. He lived for the adrenaline and action in his life.

As his sons grew up, Jeremy knew he wasn’t present in his role as a father. His way of dealing with tough times was to leave. One day had a wake up call and realized he needed to find a way to balance work and family life. Now he tries to help other young firefighters do the same.

 


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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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keep dating your spouse

The Infinite Game of Marriage with Cara Miller


If we think of marriage as a game, we immediately strategize on how to win our spouses’ hearts the way we did the very first time. The problem is that our partners grow and change throughout life. To keep dating your spouse like you did in the past is not going to work anymore. As you will hear on our show today, the game of marriage is infinite. The goal is not to win, but to keep playing.

Today we have our fourth female guest on The Dad Edge. Her name is Cara Miller and she a developmental coach with a unique academic background, including wealth of insightful knowledge about how people connect and feel that sense of belonging that is so important for a rich, fulfilling life.

In this episode, Cara Miller tells how to initiate change in our relationships by dating our spouses for who they are today instead of who they were when we first met them.  She reveals simple, actionable steps we can take to become experts on the people we love, including kids, friends, and coworkers.

'Dating in marriage is an infinite game.'—Cara Miller #marriage #relationships #dating #wife #husband #love Click To Tweet

About Cara Miller MDIV PHD

Cara T. Miller ​is a professor, executive developmental coach, organizational design and change consultant in the fields of leadership, organizational development, adult development, and spiritual formation. Cara received a Master of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and a PhD in Leadership Studies at the University of San Diego.

Cara draws on developmental psychology to coach people in many contexts (executives, partnerships, teams), adaptive leadership theory to consult to diverse organizations engaging in change efforts (military, higher education, finance, ministry), and is committed to first, second, and third person, here-and-now practices that support the sustainability of this integrative work.

'Our families are a school of love.'—Cara Miller #family #dads #men #fathers #parenting #communication Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • Why we pursue learning, yet resist change
  • How we can build neural pathways to change our habits and thinking
  • Why in focusing on ‘being’ first, the doing will follow
  • Why it won’t work if you try to keep dating your spouse the way you did the first time
  • Why the goal of the game of marriage is not to win, but to continue playing
  • How to learn who your spouse is now
  • How to get out of the loop of expectation
  • How to make yourself date-able again to your spouse
  • How to fill the tank of your relationships ahead of time to prepare for stressful situations
  • How to fulfill her needs based on what you want from her
  • How you can practice these communication techniques on your wife before moving on to your kids
  • How to be an interesting father to each of your kids
  • How to warm up for a heavy conversation with a pre-conversation
  • How your relationship is not something you have, it’s something you’re in
  • Why guessing what your partner wants is not going to work
  • How to create a way to be together as a couple that is different than it was and fits who you are right now
'We are not the experts on the people that we love.'—Cara Miller #love #marriage #connection #communication Click To Tweet

 

YNAB. You Need a Budget

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Cara Miller’s Links

inquiryp.com

Instagram: @Developmentalcoach

Free Coaching Newsletter

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

the dad edge alliance

 


What did you think of the show?

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The Mindset Shift That Will Transform Your Relationships

The Mindset Shift That Will Transform Your Relationships

Who are we supposed to be in relationships? As men, no one gives us a manual on how to communicate, be emotionally available, and give our spouse or partner what they need.

Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Ed Dillon on the show. He is a single father of four who’s had two failed marriages.

Ed spent years wondering why his relationships, including the ones with his kids, were falling flat.

He talks about what mindset shift took place that shed light on all he was doing wrong and how this lead to some of the most profound moments of connection in his life.

'Reaching out for help is the biggest thing. I tried to be an island. It doesn’t work.'—Ed Dillon #men #mastermind #fathers #marriage #divorce #singledads Click To Tweet

How can we have conversations that enhance emotional connection and foster intimacy with our spouses? #men #dads #fathers #marriage #relationships #vulnerability #communication #intimacy Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODES: Wake Up Warrior with Garrett J. White

 


Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Connect with Ed

Facebook

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

Create an Unbeatable Mind, Body, and Become Sealfit with Mark Divine

Mark Divine will make you challenge yourself. This is the consistent message of Mark Divine, founder of SEALFit, author of Unbeatable Mind and Kokoro Yoga-Warrior Yoga. Right now, you are capable of more than you are right now. Mark Divine continues to prove this with countless client success stories; the GDP’s own Larry Hagner is living proof.

 

Physical and Mental Fitness

Mark Divine been with us before. In our previous interview with him, Mark talked about having an Unbeatable Mind through a mission, vision and power statement (this sounds familiar because we’ve incorporated it in quite a few podcasts!). In this episode, Mark expands the conversation to the physical aspect. One does not outweigh the other, as a matter of fact, mind, body and spirit are one in this practice.

 

What in the WOD are you talking about??

Coming from his Navy SEAL background as well as his own research, Mark has developed a physical program that is both mentally and physically challenging. The beauty of the program is it can be customized to every fitness level. Based on an idea similar to CrossFit, Mark’s SEALFit program combines the intensity of a CrossFit program with the mental focus of yoga. Worried about injuries associated with CrossFit programs? Mark’s got that covered, too! He’s put in safeguards, mentally and physically, to help you stay injury-free.

 

Take Your Game Up a Notch

So, maybe you are already in great shape or you simply want to find a workout program that fits your busy schedule. Mark’s program is sustainable and meets every experience level. And that guilt about taking time for yourself (remember, we had this conversation last week)? Turn that guilt to viewing this as a way to make yourself the best version of yourself in order to serve others. This is a message we continually drive home: you cannot show up as your best self if you do not take care of you first.

 

Resources:

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online

REGISTER FOR “THE DRIVEN FOR EXCELLENCE SUMMIT”  Register ==>HERE<==

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Mark Divine:

Books:

Links for Mark:

family stays connected

Five Ways to Make Sure Your Family Stays Connected


Ensuring our families stay connected is something that every dad desires.

You know your family. You know your spouse’s trigger points, what’s going on with their day and  what bothers them. You know what is going on in your kids’ lives: their friends, their favorite activities, their sensitivities. Whoa-wait-do you? When is the last time you sat down and really listened, or scheduled an activity together and really made quality time? Too many times our best intentions to build the connections with our family are overlooked by our busy schedules and outside commitments. Changing just some of our simple daily habits, though, can really help strengthen the most important connections of all.

Your Family Stays Connected By Taking a Few Minutes to Talk Everyday

Yeah, you ask your kids how they’re doing, but are you really paying attention, or are you absentmindedly listening while mentally going over that meeting with your boss you had an hour ago? Admit it, you’ve done it before; most of us have. But listening and truly paying attention to what they have to say helps to build those bonds. It just makes people feel important when you really listen. Think about it: when someone is really engaged and listening to you, you know it. You also know when someone is just half way there. You just feel better when the other person is actively listening: asking good questions and being present.

Schedule an Activity

It doesn’t have to be a trip to DisneyWorld (unless that’s what you really want to do), it’s the daily activities of simply playing with your kids. Our intentions might be good, but if it’s not in our routine schedule, we may not get to it. You schedule meetings for work, why not schedule activities with your family; the reason you go to work?

Do Physical Activities Together

No, this doesn’t mean putting your kids to work pulling weeds in the yard while you mow the lawn. Spend some times outside: go for a walk, throw a ball, wrestle. Whatever it is, the simple act of being active together creates a different bond than just sitting on the couch (there’s quality in that, too, just not all the time). Schedule a hike or set a goal of doing a challenge course together (Color Run, anybody?).

Have a Meal Together and Express Gratitude

It doesn’t have to be the Beaver Cleaver family meal at 5 o’clock; dinner can be whenever you can connect. And when you’re sitting around that table eating (please don’t talk with your mouth full), maybe say something you’re grateful for. Heck, why not make it something you’re grateful for about someone at that very table? While you’re at it, make this a tech-free zone. Nothing says “I’m physically present, but not mentally here” like a cell phone at the table.

Pay Attention to the Small Stuff

Small Stuff. The stuff that keeps gnawing at the back of our minds when we have a moment’s down time. Paying attention to our spouse’s and kids’ small stuff helps them know we care enough to listen to their deepest needs. You might even help them take that small stuff off of their plate!
Daily habits can be changed. It doesn’t take moving a mountain to do it, either. Really, it’s just a conscious effort to take what you typically do in a day and just insert some of these 5  easy steps to make those family connections even stronger.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thank you for checking out this week’s episode on 5 Ways to Make Sure Your Family Stays Connected.