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meg meeker

Strong Fathers, Strong Kids with Meg Meeker


This might be our best episode ever here on The Dad Edge! Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician, mother, and bestselling author. As the country’s leading authority on parenting, teens, and children’s health, she has been featured on all major media. Meg Meeker is also the host of the Parenting Great Kids Podcast and offers a wide range of online courses for parents.

Dr. Meg says fathers have been undervalued and belittled in today’s society, yet statistics show how crucial dads are to the development of both boys and girls and their potential to become a happy, healthy, successful adults.

It’s time to own our roles in the lives of our sons and daughters.

Parenting great kids is hard but simple. Meg Meeker tells how we can take an active and consistent role in our kids’ lives in just minutes a day. Whether raising sons or daughters, Dr. Meg explains how we can show up best as dads by embracing and following our male instincts.

You are wired with everything you need to be a good dad.”—Meg Meeker, M.D.

Meg Meeker

Meg Meeker, M.D., has spent more than thirty years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine and counseling teens and parents. Dr. Meeker is a fellow of the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute, is an associate professor of medicine at Michigan State School of Human Medicine. A popular speaker and bestselling author of several books, including the national bestseller, STRONG FATHERS, STRONG DAUGHTERS; THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS; and BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS.

A popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships, she is a frequent guest on nationally syndicated radio and television programs. She works with the NFL Fatherhood Initiative and spoke at the UN in 2016 on family issues. Dr. Meeker lives in northern Michigan, where she shares a medical practice with her husband, Walter. They have four children.

Parenting Great Kids

Parents are trying to navigate children through a world they themselves don’t often understand. America’s Mom, Dr. Meg Meeker, the country’s trusted authority on parenting, teens, & children’s health, offers practical insights to help parents simplify. The pediatrician, mother, & best selling author engages with experts & parents to take on relevant issues, answer real questions, & provide simple hope & encouragement to every parent.

What You’ll Learn

  • Fatherlessness is the biggest problem in our country
  • Your presence as a man and father has enormous impact in your household.
  • Why Dr. Meg encourages dads to “get the big stuff right.”
  • Why it’s important to bring your kids into your world, like bringing them to work
  • In our culture, dads are belittled and often portrayed as morons. Moms are typically shown as having to take the lead, and not really needing dads for any meaningful role in the family except as the provider.
  • What is fear-based parenting?
  • Think about how your kids see you to inform the way you show up for them.
  • How to be a good dad after a hard day
  • Expecting yourself to be 100% engaged as soon as you get home is unrealistic.
  • It’s okay to take a half an hour to transition from work to family time.
  • How to keep a connection with your kids in simple, 5-minute gestures
  • Kids don’t need a lot of time and energy. They need quality.
  • You’ll never meet a more forgiving person in your life then your kids because your kids need you. If you make a blunder trying to connect with them, it won’t bother them as much as it bothers you.
  • Teaching kids to be affectionate, attentive, and good listeners
  • Why and how you should express yourself to your kids, especially when things aren’t going well. Tell them if you had a bad day. It teaches them that they can have a bad day and still have a good evening.
  • Why you set yourself up for failure if you try to engage with your kids as soon as they get home from school
  • Why the best time to talk to your kids is at bedtime
  • Kids often don’t know how they feel. You have to help them explore their feelings.
  • Boys connect better by doing activities together.
  • Girls connect better with talking.
  • Dads need to pull kids into what they like to do, but dads also need to get into their kids’ worlds. Get on their level and do what they like to do.
  • Parents shape who their kids become. Every time you surrender your role as the male figure to a coach or teacher, your kids are being shaped by them instead of you.
  • Limit extra-curricular activities. Your kids want more of you and less stuff to do.
  • How sports and extra-curricular activities can backfire your parenting strategy—when parents come to every event, the child feels that the only reason they get attention is because they are performing.
  • You have to have family time—like family dinners—at least twice a day, preferably four times a day.
  • When you have tension with someone in the family, you need more time with them, not less.
  • What to do when your daughter is becoming a teenager and wants to distance herself from you.
  • How much to control in your daughter’s dress and dating life
  • Your tone, manner, and voice are the standard of what male trust and respect will look like for your daughter all her life.
  • Every girl wants more healing from the relationship with her dad or more time with her dad.
  • How to give sons freedom to become their own men (and not try to make them into little copies of you)
  • Boys will develop strong character by their dads being a good example.
  • Make your kids know that you are there to link arms with them wherever they land.

Trust your instincts. You have male instincts, not female instincts. Good. Use them.—Dr. Meg Meeker


Meg Meeker’s Links

meekerparenting.com

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3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


The bedtime routine is a special opportunity to connect with your kid after a busy day, but sometimes we are so tired that we can’t think of anything meaningful to say.

But we dads can set up a deep conversation with minimal effort by using an easy template.

Here are 3 questions to ask your kid every night before they go to sleep to pause and reflect on what they experienced and how the day’s lessons can shape their tomorrow.

1. What are you most proud of from today? How did you make that happen?

Help them reflect on their wins and what decisions led to their success.

2. What did you fail at today and what did you learn?

As hard as it is, we parents have to teach our kids to be open to talking about failure so that they can use it as the valuable learning tool it is.

3. What are you most excited about tomorrow?

If our kids go to bed anticipating a great day, they can look to the future with excitement.

 


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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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3 Ways To Improve Connecting With Your Kids – GDP001

“3 Ways to Improve Connecting with Your Kids” Episode Overview

Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson talk about three ways to improve connecting with your kids. Listen as Shawn and Larry share their background and talk about what led them to coming together to create The Good Dad Project: Teaching men to strive to be better every day, living with purpose, on purpose.

Key Take-Aways

Larry and Shawn share their personal stories and experiences growing up without biological fathers nor solid, stable father figures throughout their childhood and adolescence. Growing up with similar backgrounds, Shawn and Larry come together with amazing perspectives on what our kids are really looking for from their dads. Larry and Shawn share their insights, strategies, and three tips to improve connecting with your children and partners.

The Pendulum Effect

Life is a large growing process full of learning experiences and lessons that help shape us into the people are today. Our earliest teachers are our parents. Particularly through our interactions and relationships with parents, we realize for ourselves what to do and what not to do — we learn through modeled behavior. We can either become like our parents or the complete opposite of them. By choosing whether or not to incorporate personality traits and behavior characteristics, striving to be the best version of ourselves, we can learn strategies and tips to become better parents to our own children, better life partners, and better in our other relationships. Just like the instructions about using oxygen masks on airplanes in emergencies: There’s nothing selfish about filling up your tank first, self care, before giving to others. You and your relationships deserve the best version of you.

Tip #1: Disconnecting Mentally & Emotionally from Your Workday

Have you ever pulled up in your driveway at the end of the day feeling stressed and burned out from your work? The trouble with that is that we can’t give 100% or the best version of ourselves, our peak energy state, to our children and life partner — you have nothing left but the leftover “stuff” to give. What do you do?

You mentally, physically, emotionally prep, much like a comparison to getting ready for playing in a sporting event or going in for a big job interview. Go through the motions of what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. Instead of going on autopilot, realize you can change the way you think and feel before you walk through the door of your home. Make the decision to do something different.

Here are two strategies Larry and Shawn share:

  • Take 1-5 minutes in your car when you arrive home or the last 5-10 minutes of your commute to spend thinking about what your evening or day will look like when you walk in the door. Visualize how you will greet your kids and partner.
  • Listen to something positive on your way home, instead of the news (or “the blues”). It could be some uplifting, inspiring music — or even this podcast. Music stimulates bioelectrical vibrational waves in our brains that can help affect mood. Saturate yourself with something that makes you feel good, empowered, and reconnect with coming home as the best part of your day.

Tip #2: Do Something to Change Everyone Else’s State

After you walk in the door, greet the members of your family with a high five or a hug and a kiss. The joy of connecting with kids can especially be seen when you have a young child — the excitement and happiness they have when you come home. Proactively do something fun or funny, a little crazy or silly, and interesting. Turn up the music and dance. Wrestle with your kids or fling them around. These acts release endorphins and perks the rest of home up. Greeting your loved ones also helps set the mood for the rest of the night after you come home.

Tip #3: Disconnect from Technology

Disconnect from texting, emails, social media, screen time when you arrive home. Unplug yourself from the hours of 5-9 or 7-9 at night, unless it’s an emergency. Instead, spend that time with your family. Have an agreement with your loved ones that you all will not be on your mobile devices or computers for a set amount of time each evening. One way to keep this new habit consistently practiced is to turn your phone off (or put it on silent) and not keep it right on or by yourself. Create a technology-free environment in your home by training to use electronic devices at certain times.

According to a Rensselaer Polytechnic study, using a mobile device or computer just 2 hours before bed is enough to drastically suppress your melatonin secretion. Do you wake up tired? Melatonin is a hormone that aids in sleep and is important to have a proper wake-sleep cycle. Not only that, but the constant notifications, especially when we’re trying to sleep gives us a dopamine hit, which wakes us up and keeps us mentally alert for longer — and makes it harder for us to fall asleep and have a good rest. You can also pre-diagnose how and where your relationships are going to go by observing when and how often someone uses technology. Have you ever been on a date with someone new, and afterwards could only seem to recall the high number of times your date was on her/his phone? Have you ever seen a family who were all on their devices at once for a long period of time, and then wondered how well, if at all, they actually communicated with one another face-to-face? Be considerate and remember you’re modeling behavior for your children. Learn how to keep technology in its proper place: We have to use our electronic devices and don’t let them use us.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

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