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The Anatomy of Marriage

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


How is marriage supposed to work? We have never been taught, and when things start derailing, we have no idea what to do.

This show was planned for a later date, but it is too good and too relevant to hold onto. The pandemic has heightened the level of stress in our lives and in our relationships. Many couples are struggling to navigate through these challenging times.

So today we have marriage expert and coach,Melanie Studley with us. She’s the cohost of the Anatomy of Marriage podcast and co-creator of the Anatomy of Marriage app.

Melanie dissects the most common issues between a man and a woman. She tells us what our spouses really think and feel when we watch porn. Melanie also explains the underlying anatomy of a marriage and gives us a formula to communicate our needs and desires as men in a confident, calm and masculine way.

So simple and so powerful, don’t miss the pro tips in this episode!

Melanie Studley’s Story

A Marriage Counselor is supposed to know it all, they are supposed to have the tools and the skills to navigate the ups-and-downs of relationships, but 11 years ago we hit rock bottom.

Seth confessed to lying and looking at Pornography and so I gave him a black eye…

We had two little boys, 15 months and 2 weeks old, and we were completely lost. Deep down we both wanted our marriage to work, so after months of tearing each other apart we turned our attention to healing our broken marriage. But… we couldn’t find ANY marriage resources for IMPERFECT, BROKEN AND MESSY PEOPLE!

We started on our journey anyway and eventually began healing, then we decided to turn our mess into our message and to create the resources that we wish we had during the HARDEST PARTS of our marriage. With over 2.5 Million downloads of our Podcast, and listeners all over the world, our raw vulnerability, practical tools and real help for real couples is making much larger impact than we could have ever dreamed!

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What You’ll Learn

  • Most couples have no idea how to handle it when things go wrong in marriage, which it inevitably does from time to time.
  • The genesis of Melanie’s career as a marriage coach started in the pit of dysfunction.
  • Melanie didn’t understand herself, how relationships worked, and the whole point of marriage.
  • Why porn makes women feel that they are not good enough.
  • Think it through next time you want to consume pornography. What if your kids find it on your phone?
  • Children who are exposed to pornography are too young to know what it means, and it plants the seeds of sexual dysfunction.
  • Instead of giving restless energy away to porn, funnel it into positive things.
  • What men get wrong in sexuality—they have the power to make their wife feel like a goddess.
  • Porn is like kryptonite. It takes away your sexual superpowers.
  • Many men are quietly pissed off in their marriage but refuse to speak up. They don’t know what to say or how to say it.
  • Women want to be fiercely independent, yet most women are also wired to want to be there to help their husbands.
  • Men just want women to be happy, but they neglect the important things.
  • When men are frustrated, they shut themselves down until they break down.
  • Don’t wait to tell your wife when you don’t like something, are angry, or disagree with her.
  • Don’t let the pressure build up. If things are already set to explode, don’t take the lid off all at once.
  • Get in the habit of small conversations all the time to make sure you’re on the same page.
  • The “Clearing Structure”–a hyper-empowered way to express your feelings and offer solutions without your partner getting defensive.
  • King and Queen always link together. Be each other’s heroes.
  • Approach conflicts with a positive energy, not a submissive or negative one.
  • Conversation starters release the tension around things you didn’t even know were bothering you.
  • Communication doesn’t have to be complicated.

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
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MENTIONED EPISODES:

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

Become Irresistible to Your Woman with Allana Pratt

#75Hard: Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Melanie Studley and the Anatomy of Marriage

anatomyofmarriage.com

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alter ego todd herman

How to Create and Activate Your Heroic Alter Ego with Todd Herman – Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A


Todd Herman is the author of the wildly popular bestselling book, The Alter Ego Effect, in which he explains the fastest way to transcend fear and self-limiting beliefs by creating alter egos.

In an exclusive Q&A session with Dad Edge Alliance members, Todd reveals how to develop alter egos for the different playing fields of life, and how to activate our secret identities to instantly show up the way we want in the toughest situations. He also talks about how to introduce this method to our kids.

Todd Herman’s tools and strategies will blow your mind and change your life. Get ready to step into your heroic self!

Todd Herman and The Alter Ego Effect

What if the games you played as a child were the greatest gift to helping you achieve more today?

Before stage fright, impostor syndrome, emotional baggage, and the other dubious gifts of adulthood, everyone pretended to be a superhero, a favorite athlete, an inspiring entertainer, a nurse, a firefighter, a lion or whatever captured their imagination. And yet, that natural creativity is slowly squeezed out of us because we think it’s childish or it’s ‘time to grow up.’ Now, Todd Herman—backed by scientific research and countless stories from the real world—will show you how to tap into the human imagination to unleash a new version of yourself, ready-made to kick-ass.

Herman has been coaching champions in every field for over twenty years, and he’s helped them bring out their Heroic Self to transcend the forces pulling them into the Ordinary World. While anyone attempting ambitious things faces adversity, resistance and challenges, Herman, asks a new question: “Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?”

In The Alter Ego Effect, Herman shows you how to activate the Heroic Self already nested inside of each of us, through countless stories from salespeople, executives, entertainers, athletes, entrepreneurs, creatives and historical figures. He reveals that you may not be using those traits in the moments when you need them the most. From the creative entrepreneur who resisted their craft, to the accomplished military officer who wanted to be a warmer dad at home, Todd Herman’s clients have discovered there is no end to the parts of their lives they could improve by using Alter-Egos.

What You’ll Learn

  • The surprising secret to those who perform consistently at top levels—maintaining a level of playfulness.
  • The identities that can limit you
  • How to turn off your work mode or ambition mode when you get home for your kids and spouse
  • Changing the identity is the fastest way to shift performance.
  • Todd Herman’s Dad Alter Ego is based on a combination of Mr. Rogers and his own dad
  • How to use alter egos as a form of honor, not being fake
  • The most powerful way to trigger an identity change are things that we wear
  • Choosing totems, artifacts, and uniforms
  • The mistakes we make as parents when it comes to talking to our kids about their performance
  • The two most important things we can do for our children to encourage the right mindset
  • Why you must allow kids to choose their own alter egos
  • How to choose your behavior according to a future version of yourself
  • Why you should not protect your kids from feeling uncomfortable things. They must learn how to experience and process negative emotions.
  • Making sure that when we’re framing something for our kids, we’re not introducing a problem for them that wasn’t even in their world
  • 80% of our 1-on-1 time with kids ends at the age of twelve, so we must take advantage of spending time with them in their younger years.
  • Number one reason why kids don’t quit activity because they don’t want to lose the one on one car time with their parent
  • The difference between habits and rituals and why rituals are important for success


MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Todd Herman

toddherman.me

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Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


Every year, we envision a new future and set goals to become who we really want to be. Why is it that more often than not, we never get very far? If we pay close attention, we can hear a taunting voice, an inner bully who says, “You can’t do that. Who do you think you are? You’re not worthy or deserving. You’re a fake, a fraud, and a loser.” Meet Imposter Syndrome, and we all deal with it.

Today we have Dr. Jaime Hope on the show. She’s an Emergency Medicine Physician, Wellness Expert, Teacher, Speaker, and Author. Jaime tells us how to notice when Impostor Syndrome is creeping up and how we can shut that bully down. She gives us tools to build resilience against our own negative voices and build a new vision of ourselves. Jaime also reveals how to deal with times of stress by connecting the pain with our vision and purpose. Best of all, she gives us examples of how we can “program” our kids to have built-in protection against imposter syndrome.

Get ready to defeat that inner bully once and for all!

“Your brain is neutral. It doesn’t care what self-identity you give it. It believes what you tell it with confidence and repetition.”—Dr. Jaime Hope

Dr. Jaime Hope

Dr. Jaime Hope is a dual board-certified physician working outside of Detroit, Michigan, in one of the busiest emergency departments in the country. In over twelve years on the job, she has learned that no matter what brought her patients to the ER, they all want the same thing: to live happier, healthier lives. Today, whether she’s helping patients, teaching future doctors, or engaging the local community, Dr. Hope is showing others how to create better habits and make healthy living fun, practical, and accessible. Her talk, Learn How to Gain Confidence & Remove the ‘Imposter Syndrome’, can be found on YouTube.

“We act in accordance with how we view ourselves.”—Dr. Jaime Hope

What You’ll Learn

  • Jaime wanted to be one of the fly girls on In Living Color.
  • Now Dr. Jaime Hope uses the truths of human behavior to teach patients how to work with themselves instead of against themselves, empowering them to make substantial changes for better health.
  • Our expectations for ourselves are ridiculous.
  • We think of ourselves as either/or. Either we’re perfect or we’re a total screw up.
  • We are born with a healthy self-esteem.
  • As we grow up, bullies or other negative experiences plant seeds of self-doubt in us.
  • These seeds get watered more than the seeds of self-confidence. They grow larger and stronger, creating hyperbolic negative beliefs.
  • We focus on the negative and let it invalidate the positive. If we fall short in any way, it overshadows everything.
  • Not everyone’s always going to like you.
  • What imposter syndrome sounds like—Do I belong? Am I capable? Am I worthy? Do others think I’m capable?
  • The difference between mantras and affirmations
  • Affirmations won’t work if you really don’t believe them. This can do more harm than good.
  • You can train your brain for the positive thinking, but it must be done with the same consistency and confidence as your negative thoughts to start to change.
  • The brain likes short, catchy, frequently repeated phrases.
  • How to formulate first-person, action-oriented mantras
  • If you view yourself as an impatient parent, you’re going to act like one.
  • Your kids will learn how to deal with situations from observing you.
  • Own your own feelings. Your kids can’t make you frustrated. You’re choosing to be frustrated over the situation.
  • You become your child’s inner voice, which means you have the opportunity to implant a positive voice.
  • Examples of mantras to teach your kids
  • What to do when we go down the path of absolute negativity and hopelessness
  • How to turn stress into success
  • The 5 Types of People You Need in Your Life:
    • People who light the way for you
    • The fail friend
    • Your tribes
    • Someone who would take a bullet for you
    • Those you are lighting the way for
  • Keeping the learner/beginner mindset
  • It’s important to share mistakes so others don’t repeat them.
  • What brings the most joy in marriage
  • When it comes to opening up emotionally as a man, do you want to be a strong, rugged individual, or do you want a strong relationship?
  • As a husband and father, you must see AND BE SEEN.
  • Look how far you’ve come with all your negative thoughts. Imagine what you can do now that you know how to defeat them!

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Do the Work: How to Stop the Cycle of Self-Sabotage with Gary John Bishop

4 Questions to Crush Self-Sabotaging Thoughts

How to Eliminate Negative Emotions by Targeting False Thoughts

 


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Dr. Jaime Hope’s Links

drhopehealth.com

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LinkedIn

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Jaime’s YouTube Talk

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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LINKS


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likeability

The Art of Likeability with Arel Moodie

What is it about some people that makes us gravitate toward them? Why is it that sometimes we just don’t like certain people? How can we acquire that X-factor that makes some men so likeable and how can we use that to enhance our relationships at work and at home?

Today’s guest is Arel Moodie, the host of the wildly popular podcast called The Art of Likeability. He says that increased likability improves your leadership and builds deeper relationships to create more success in all areas of your life. He demystifies likeability and tells us how to leverage it for ourselves and also instill it in our children. You do not want to miss the fascinating interview!

'In every situation, either someone’s teaching you how to treat people or you’re teaching them how to treat people by your example, so you have to decide what’s going to be it.'—@arelmoodie #likeability #leadership #family Click To Tweet

Arel Moodie and The Art of Likeability

Arel Moodie has been married for ten years and is the father of two boys. His obsession with likeability began in school. He wasn’t a total outcast, but he considered himself a C- when it came to operating in social situations. He wondered what did the cool kids have that he didn’t have? This began his lifelong missions to find out the secret of likeability and make it available to everyone.

'Being a good leader is always about helping other be better.'—@ArelMoodie #leadership #fatherhood #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • What makes us decide whether we like or dislike a person
  • Why in order to be interesting, you have to be interested
  • Unlocking the social superpower, which is realizing that the exact conversation you have in your head about your anxieties and insecurities is the same exact conversation other people have going on in their heads
  • How your level of warmth and confidence raises significantly with empathy
  • The real difference between positive and negative people (it’s not that positive people don’t have negative thoughts)
  • Why we are so hard on ourselves with our inner dialogue
    • Spiritually, our fear of our potential for evil.
    • Biologically, a survival instinct that says that if we play small and don’t risk, we stay safe
    • The fear that when we truly appreciate something, we’ll lose it
  • How to become the beacon of positive in the workplace
  • Taking our unhappiness at work out on others is a way of using power and control
  • How to choose to create something great in your work life
  • You can crush it in anything today if you’re passionate about it
  • How to learn how to love your spouse in the way they want
  • As a masculine mind, we look at fixing the problem while our partners want us to acknowledge their feelings
  • How a woman’s feelings are like a storm that passes
  • How men have to stand ground and acknowledge the woman’s feelings
  • How to teach likeability to your kids
  • Looking for the win-win in every situation, and why win-win makes you likeable
  • The mistake of sacrificing for other people
  • How Arel brainwashes his children
'I brainwash my children. If I’m not brainwashing them, someone else is.'—@ArelMoodie #parenting #fatherhood #family #moms #dads Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODES:

 


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Arel Moodie’s Links

Website

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Resources

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traits of a warrior

The 12 Traits of a Warrior Part 1: The Hard Traits with Chris Sajnog


As men, we do battle every single day. Not only are we fighting to maintain and grow our careers, finances, and family, we fight an internal battle at all times. We have to deal with negative self-talk, bad habits, and anxiety. It’s not to say that life is always a warzone, but it can be challenging, and we can be prepared to face the challenges with a warrior’s skillset.

Chris Sajnog is a Navy SEAL sniper and our third more popular all-time former guest. He is back to teach us how master our thoughts and emotions, become solid leaders, and raise strong children by adopting the Twelve Traits of a Warrior. In this first part of a two-part series, we discuss the six ‘Hard Traits.’

We are the stories we tell ourselves and most people are telling themselves the wrong stories. @ChrisSajnog #dads #fathers #men #warriors Click To Tweet

Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog is one the most elite Navy SEAL snipers in the world and the bestselling author of ‘How to Shoot Like Navy SEAL’ and ‘Navy SEAL Shooting’. He is on a mission to help men develop The 12 Traits of the Warrior in order to live a more balanced life. The hard traits are:

  1. Confidence
  2. Strength
  3. Aggressiveness
  4. Discipline
  5. Being Active
  6. Bravery
Every morning when you wake up, you can tell yourself what kind of day you're going to have. @ChrisSajnog #motivation #selftalk #mindset Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • How he teaches snipers
  • Why a warrior is able to learn and become great at whatever they want to do
  • How a civilian can learn the warrior mindset to learn and improve more quickly
  • What are the hard traits and why we need them
  • What are the soft traits and how do they balance the hard traits
  • What happens when someone is out of balance
  • How these traits affect PTSD
  • How to go from the mentality of an ordinary dad and worker to the mentality of a warrior
  • How warrior traits can be applied to everyday life
  • How to grow a set of N.U.T.S. (non-negotiable unalterable terms)
  • Why waiting for a situation to happen to decide how you’re going to react is a mistake
  • How to decide in advance how you will respond
  • How to feel confident doing something you’ve never done before
  • Why mental strength is superior to physical strength
  • Why being aggressive is necessary
  • Why constantly taking action is crucial to keep moving forward
  • What bravery really means
  • How to teach our kids warrior qualities
  • Why you should let your kids fight and wrestle
  • How to show your children the rewards of being disciplined
  • How to make your kids aware of the consequences of their own choices

Sometimes people need to get punched in the face, and you need to be okay with that. @ChrisSajnog #men #dads #fathers #parenting Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODE: Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

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Chris Sajnog’s Links

chrissajnog.com

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Amazon

Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

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