“How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness” Episode Overview
Larry and Shawn get personal on this episode and share some of the things they struggle with most and how they have learned to personally overcome weakness.
- Being aware of our weaknesses is the first step to conquering them
- Implementing a strategy to conquer your weakness whenever you feel it start to arise
Example: Losing your patience – how to recognize it, control it, conquer it
Larry’s 1st Weakness: Patience
A lot of challenges in life, both at work and at home, can wear your patience down. You’ll feel tense and will exhibit tension through your facial expressions and actions. You can be irritable with your partner and with your kids. Check out this blog article on patience by Larry for more insight.
- Take a few minutes before entering the house after a long day at work to reflect and breathe
- Say a prayer: The powerful thing about prayer is it that you’re being intentional in your thoughts and actions
Larry says a prayer like this:
“Dear Lord, I don’t have it together today. I know I can’t do this alone. I need your help because without Your help, I won’t be successful. So, I pray that you will guide me to be the best version of myself for my family, and to turn a bad day into a good evening.”
- Deep breathing
- Listen to uplifting music
- Listen to uplifting podcast
Shawn’s 1st Weakness: Low Tolerance for B.S.
Shawn tends to be short tempered with his older kids. He’s not patient with them when he knows they could be better at something he knows they can do. This crossed over into his professional career as well. Shawn has a hard time with people who don’t help themselves. However, Shawn has learned to recognize whether most actions or behavior are carried out from a place where the person lacks ability or lacks choice. He is more patient and tolerant when things are done out of lack of ability or choice, but he’s less tolerant when things can be more easily chosen and prevented. Realize that it’s not about you trying to win an argument or necessarily control a situation and be right. Own your feelings.
- Have the intention
- Have space to reflect
- Be aware: Listen to the way you feel and the language you’re using
- Be more compassionate and understanding
- Ask yourself: “What is it that this person really wants? And how can I serve?”
- See your kids/partner/another person: Look at them, listen to them, and remember how important they are to you
- Tip that Larry learned from someone: Look into someone’s eyes and notice their eye color in the heat of the moment, which forces you take a pause — you can not only see that person, their emotion and the person that they are, but you can really recognize them and makes you able to respond instead of react.
Larry’s 2nd Weakness: Work-Life Balance
Larry works out of his house. His home is his office, and his office is his home. Men get wrapped up in the “provider mentality,” which is a hard to thing shut off, especially if they are the breadwinner and especially if they work from home. It can be a double-edged sword: You can be working to hours to provide for your family, but you’re also not able to provide for your time — quality time — to spend with family. You may be physically with your family, but your mind and emotions may not be there, particularly if you’re working while with them. Technology, specifically with emails and text messages, make you virtually reachable at all hours and increases the temptation to continue working. Larry shares an “a-ha!” moment he had with son. It’s a relatable, poignant story. Listen to the podcast to hear it.
- Turn your phone off — or at least turn off the notifications and put the ringer on silent
- Leave your phone and/or laptop in the car — or other safe place that isn’t so easily accessible
Shawn’s 2nd Weakness: Communication with Children’s Mothers
Shawn clarifies that he struggles in communicating with his ex (not his wife), which can be additionally challenging. He also tended to latch onto his kids more, out of fear, when he dropped them off to be with their mother. He was expecting problems and issues with his ex always being on “defense” when having a conversation with her. What complicates the situation even more is the fact that having children at a young age can cause additional frustration. Generally, the younger a parent is, the less prepared they are to have and raise a child. Plus, when you’re young, you’re still trying to figure out who you are as a person. It’s mostly about being patient and remaining appreciative about the process. There can also be resentment when there is positive change, particularly when one parent is able to move on and do well in life or seems to be doing better than the other parent is currently. Note: Don’t necessarily expect a positive response from your ex at first when you show and communicate positivity with her/him — you’ll likely catch them off guard.
- Start playing offense and not defense — in other words, take the initiative: In a conversation, immediately look for ways to be helpful and to be of service towards your partner or ex-partner parent
- Emote positive energy: Be truly caring and loving towards your partner or ex-partner parent as well as what they want and what their goals are, and then be more caring and patient with them
- Show appreciation when things are difficult, and keep them top-of-mind: Even though you don’t like each other, you must find the things you appreciate about your partner or ex and find the goodness
- Communicate goodness in every conversation possible, frequently — not just on Mother’s Day or holidays — especially when things are not well between you and your partner or ex, so that you can start to better transition into a much more valuable, healthier relationship
Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE
Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS
The Good Dad Project Car Karaoke Session
Check out the video of Larry and Shawn singing a tune in a car, complete with disco ball and colored lights. They’re mic’ed up, so the karaoke is official now — and they’re on some kind of fire!
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