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How to Fix Your Marriage

How to Fix Your Unhappy Marriage with Seth and Melanie Studley

Why is it so hard to make a marriage work? And is it too late to fix your unhappy marriage?

If you’re struggling in your marriage, you’re not alone. About 50% of marriages end in divorce, but staying in a toxic marriage can be even worse.

Today we have husband and wife team Seth and Melanie Studley on the show. They are the creators of the Anatomy of Marriage podcast and app, and they coach couples back to sane and happy marriages.

It’s hard to believe that not long ago, Seth and Melanie’s marriage was a complete train wreck. How did they fix their impossible marriage?

The Studley’s talk about how taking personal accountability and extreme ownership is the first step to healing a relationship. They reveal how escaping with porn, alcohol, or other distractions is not the issue, but the symptom of an underlying complication that’s not being addressed. They also explain how to finally stop fighting and start solving problems.

Don’t waste another day being miserable and frustrated. Start fixing your unhappy marriage right now!

The Anatomy of Marriage

A great marriage is built little-by-little over time. AOM Radio is a fun and engaging daily show that will help you create a fulfilling, sexy, fun and life-giving marriage. And hey, it’s cheaper than marriage counseling!

No one person has the answers for every marriage, that is why Seth and Melanie Studley bring on amazing guests and have REAL CONVERSATIONS about sex, money, kids, marriage counseling, relationships, and so much more!

Seth and Melanie believe that marriage help shouldn’t be boring so we created the Anatomy Of Marriage App, the Couples Counseling App that’s fast, fun and NEVER BORING! Better relationships in the blink of an eye and WAY CHEAPER then marriage counseling!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

What You’ll Learn

  • Stop the blame. What would it look like to put your ego aside and be open to a growth mindset toward your marriage?
  • We take the easiest path to not feeling discomfort to mask something that needs to be resolved.
  • Porn is a common coping mechanism because it’s an instant state change.
  • When we habitually use porn to escape, we create worn pathways that are hard to get out of.
  • Contrary to popular belief, women also have porn issues.
  • Does porn equal infidelity to women?
  • Good sex is about connection and pleasure. Pornography bypasses the connection part.
  • Our sexual needs don’t get met because we are usually not honest in sexual conversations.
  • Unresolved issues always come up in uglier ways the longer they’re ignored.
  • If we minimize the problem, hold it in, and try to white-knuckle through, it will only get worse.
  • Things change in a couples’ sex life over time. Expect it to evolve as you start a family and grow through different stages in life. Understand your spouse will not be the same sexually as she was when you first met.
  • The most common issue in couples is communication.
  • Couples think that if they keep fighting, they will resolve the issue, but they’re usually not even arguing over the same thing.
  • Couples end up fighting about how they fight and not about the issue.
  • Personal accountability and extreme ownership–We put all the weight on our spouse. You’ve got to take care of your own crap.
  • Take responsibility for yourself. What kind of man, husband, father will you be regardless of how your wife behaves?
  • When you have kids, you’re now the adult. You have to act like one. How we treat our spouses is how our kids will treat their spouses.
  • Family is the university of our relationships. This is where we learn relationship habits.
  • If your family was dysfunctional, make yours a new family. Create your own family origin story for your kids and establish a new set of healthy values.
  • Get out of our own way. Stop complaining your way out of growing and becoming strong.
  • A happier relationship is possible for you. It’s there if you’re willing to let go of BS you’ve learned. No porn will stand up to the experience of a fulfilling marriage.
  • Look at your spouse as a teammate. Collaborate. Discuss every play that will come up in the game.
  • Kick resistance’s ass every day.
  • About the Anatomy of Marriage App—Quick, not boring, and includes games like Battlestrip!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 2: The Man’s Side

Reclaiming Your Sovereignty with Ryan Michler


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Thanks for the support!

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Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse
PLUS 1 Free Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


Seth and Melanie Studley’s Links

anatomyofmarriage.com

Podcast

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

coaching@anatomyofmarriage.com

ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE APP (Use promocode Dadedge)

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOKHERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


LIVE LEGENDARY

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The Anatomy of Marriage Part 2: The Man’s Side

Are you white-knuckling it through your marriage? Sometimes the relationship with our spouse gets off track and it seems beyond repair. We wonder how long we can hold on, but it’s not because the marriage is hopeless. It’s that we don’t possess the right tools to make it work.

Today’s guest is Seth Studley, the other half of The Anatomy of Marriage podcast and app for couples. If you listened to the show with his wife Melanie, you’ll remember that their marriage was so bad that she ended up giving him a black eye.

Seth is a Licensed Family Therapist and he gives us the man’s perspective on marriage. He tells us the signs that his relationship was headed for disaster, how it totally derailed, and the emotional labor he had to do to piece it back together.

For those men who are tired of fighting their way through marriage, this show is a game changer. Listen now or download for later!

 

 

The Anatomy of Marriage

A great marriage is built little-by-little over time. AOM Radio is a fun and engaging daily show that will help you create a fulfilling, sexy, fun and life-giving marriage. And hey, it’s cheaper than marriage counseling!

No one person has the answers for every marriage, that is why Seth and Melanie Studley bring on amazing guests and have REAL CONVERSATIONS about sex, money, kids, marriage counseling, relationships, and so much more!

Seth and Melanie believe that marriage help shouldn’t be boring so we created the Anatomy Of Marriage App, the Couples Counseling App that’s fast, fun and NEVER BORING! Better relationships in the blink of an eye and WAY CHEAPER then marriage counseling!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

What You’ll Learn

  • Seth and Melanie were emotionally immature and arguing all the time.
  • 7 years into their marriage, Melanie gave Seth a black eye when she found out he had been lying about watching porn.
  • You shouldn’t look to partner for self-worth.
  • Being super introspective is the first step to repairing your marriage.
  • Nobody’s got it all together, not even Seth who is a couples’ therapist.
  • Men are used to white-knuckling it alone.
  • Not knowing yourself or your feelings effects your marriage.
  • Men need to do the work. Emotional labor. Get real with yourself.
  • How talking out loud to someone will help you figure out what’s going on with yourself.
  • How to create healthy transition time between work and family
  • What is cognitive dissonance and how it creates turmoil
  • We think we can do it alone, but if we could do it on our own, we would’ve done it by now. That is why men need a coach, therapist, or group.
  • The things are men not talking about when it comes to marriage problems.
  • We are capable of superman moments if we give ourselves a chance.
  • Don’t put off addressing the problems in your relationship. You can be your own guru.
  • Get comfortable admitting your struggling to your wife. She wants the emotional connection, which cultivates intimacy.
  • If you want to change, don’t give yourself a way out.

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Anatomy of Marriage with Melanie Studley

#75Hard: Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to dadedgemanagement@gmail.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Seth Studley and the Anatomy of Marriage

anatomyofmarriage.com

Podcast

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

coaching@anatomyofmarriage.com

ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE APP (Use promocode Dadedge)

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Build an Extraordinary Marriage!

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

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The Anatomy of Marriage

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


How is marriage supposed to work? We have never been taught, and when things start derailing, we have no idea what to do.

This show was planned for a later date, but it is too good and too relevant to hold onto. The pandemic has heightened the level of stress in our lives and in our relationships. Many couples are struggling to navigate through these challenging times.

So today we have marriage expert and coach,Melanie Studley with us. She’s the cohost of the Anatomy of Marriage podcast and co-creator of the Anatomy of Marriage app.

Melanie dissects the most common issues between a man and a woman. She tells us what our spouses really think and feel when we watch porn. Melanie also explains the underlying anatomy of a marriage and gives us a formula to communicate our needs and desires as men in a confident, calm and masculine way.

So simple and so powerful, don’t miss the pro tips in this episode!

Melanie Studley’s Story

A Marriage Counselor is supposed to know it all, they are supposed to have the tools and the skills to navigate the ups-and-downs of relationships, but 11 years ago we hit rock bottom.

Seth confessed to lying and looking at Pornography and so I gave him a black eye…

We had two little boys, 15 months and 2 weeks old, and we were completely lost. Deep down we both wanted our marriage to work, so after months of tearing each other apart we turned our attention to healing our broken marriage. But… we couldn’t find ANY marriage resources for IMPERFECT, BROKEN AND MESSY PEOPLE!

We started on our journey anyway and eventually began healing, then we decided to turn our mess into our message and to create the resources that we wish we had during the HARDEST PARTS of our marriage. With over 2.5 Million downloads of our Podcast, and listeners all over the world, our raw vulnerability, practical tools and real help for real couples is making much larger impact than we could have ever dreamed!

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

What You’ll Learn

  • Most couples have no idea how to handle it when things go wrong in marriage, which it inevitably does from time to time.
  • The genesis of Melanie’s career as a marriage coach started in the pit of dysfunction.
  • Melanie didn’t understand herself, how relationships worked, and the whole point of marriage.
  • Why porn makes women feel that they are not good enough.
  • Think it through next time you want to consume pornography. What if your kids find it on your phone?
  • Children who are exposed to pornography are too young to know what it means, and it plants the seeds of sexual dysfunction.
  • Instead of giving restless energy away to porn, funnel it into positive things.
  • What men get wrong in sexuality—they have the power to make their wife feel like a goddess.
  • Porn is like kryptonite. It takes away your sexual superpowers.
  • Many men are quietly pissed off in their marriage but refuse to speak up. They don’t know what to say or how to say it.
  • Women want to be fiercely independent, yet most women are also wired to want to be there to help their husbands.
  • Men just want women to be happy, but they neglect the important things.
  • When men are frustrated, they shut themselves down until they break down.
  • Don’t wait to tell your wife when you don’t like something, are angry, or disagree with her.
  • Don’t let the pressure build up. If things are already set to explode, don’t take the lid off all at once.
  • Get in the habit of small conversations all the time to make sure you’re on the same page.
  • The “Clearing Structure”–a hyper-empowered way to express your feelings and offer solutions without your partner getting defensive.
  • King and Queen always link together. Be each other’s heroes.
  • Approach conflicts with a positive energy, not a submissive or negative one.
  • Conversation starters release the tension around things you didn’t even know were bothering you.
  • Communication doesn’t have to be complicated.

Download the Anatomy of Marriage app.
Use promocode Dadedge.

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

Become Irresistible to Your Woman with Allana Pratt

#75Hard: Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to dadedgemanagement@gmail.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Melanie Studley and the Anatomy of Marriage

anatomyofmarriage.com

Podcast

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE APP (Use promocode Dadedge)

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Build an Extraordinary Marriage!

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge

gary chapman

Love Languages and Other Marriage Tips for the Pandemic with Gary Chapman


Gary Chapman is the author of one of the most popular books on marriage in the world, The 5 Love Languages. Today he talks about his new book, 5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage: …When You’re Stuck at Home Together.

Whether it has been challenging or delightful for you to be spending more time with your spouse during COVID-19, it’s the perfect time to troubleshoot and renew your love. If you have a good marriage, this will make it better. If you have a troubled marriage, this will tear down the walls and help you start rebuilding.

Get on the fast track to a loving, harmonious marriage with these 5 simple tips!

“Love is a choice you make every day.” – Dr. Gary Chapman

 

Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 12 million worldwide and has been translated into 50 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn.

5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage …When You’re Stuck at Home Together

Let Sheltering in Place Together be an Opportunity to Renew Your Relationship
The COVID-19 pandemic has affected all facets of life. The health crisis has overwhelmed medical workers, business closings have exacerbated financial stress, and—perhaps most unexpectedly—sheltering in place has placed married couples in endless, unprecedented proximity.

Whether this has been challenging or delightful for you and your spouse, let this time be an opportunity to renew your love. Learn how to do so in 5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage… When You’re Stuck at Home Together by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages®. This guide will help enrich your time stuck together by teaching you and your spouse how to:

  • Call a truce on throwing word bombs
  • Tear down emotional walls
  • Discover and speak each other’s love language
  • Learn the value of teamwork
  • Have a daily “sit down and listen” time

What You’ll Learn

  • Practice your spouse’s love language, not yours.
  • The biggest challenge is when your spouse’s love language is something you haven’t received as a child. But you can learn to speak them even if you didn’t receive them.
  • How to get back to loving each other intentionally
  • When we’re under stress, we throw verbal bombs at each other.
  • Verbal bombs burst inside the hearts of our spouses.
  • Call a truce, and vow not say anything negative for a week.
  • Replace negative comments with compliments.
  • Even if your spouse doesn’t agree to refrain from negative comments, call the truce on your side. It will automatically help.
  • Daily Sit Down and Listen Time (not Talk Time)—Ask your spouse to share 3 things that happened today and how they felt about them.
  • Even if you live together, you don’t know the person’s thoughts and how they feel about what’s going on.
  • Listening says, “I care about you.”
  • Listen long enough so you can honestly say that you understand. You do not have to agree.
  • Don’t criticize the way your partner feels.
  • Your spouse will be more likely to affirm you if you’ve taken the first step.
  • Use your energy to solve the problem instead of winning the argument.
  • How to be accommodating without becoming a doormat
  • If you win an argument with your spouse, you’ve created a loser. It’s no fun to live with a loser.
  • You’re a team. Each player on the team does something different. Use an attitude of service and play your strengths.
  • Love stimulates love.
  • There are no perfect husbands. When we fail in word or deed, we need to apologize to our spouses.
  • When we apologize and seek to speak her love language, it starts a process.
  • Don’t sit around waiting for a person to change. We as men, should make the decision to lead.
  • We can influence our spouse in a positive way using their love language.
  • Make a 6-month commitment to using these 5 tips.
  • When you start moving in a positive direction as a couple, you are likely to continue moving forward.

RELATED EPISODES:

Strong Fathers, Strong Kids with Meg Meeker

How to Argue and Other Marriage Tips with Zach Brittle

The 5 Love Languages and How They Made My Marriage Thrive

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Gary Chapman’s Links

5lovelanguages.com

Facebook

Twitter

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre marriage.

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


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Marriage Skills for Men

How’s your marriage? Great? Okay? Bad? Could it be better?

Of course it could, but we are never taught marriage skills. We expect our relationship to work by default, but it’s not going to get better on its own. Marriage takes constant, intentional work. No relationship runs on autopilot no matter how much a couple loves each other.

John Barbee felt he was failing as a husband and a father. He realized he was only participating with his family on a surface level. One day, he decided to take action and shape his relationship with his wife. This involved communication, partnership, friendship, and intimacy. Mostly, it involved investing in himself.

Now John’s excited about his marriage again and is here to share his marriage skills for men. Get ready to finally learn how to fill your marriage with possibility again!

Never give up on your marriage.

What You’ll Learn

  • The accelerated growth and phenomenal change that happens when you start to take care of yourself
  • John always thought that just being in the room with his kids while watching TV was “being present” in their lives.
  • We say “yes” to all the things and can only give a fraction of the effort. What is really important?
  • The difference between quitting and prioritizing what matters
  • It’s up to you to direct your marriage and update your knowledge on how to cultivate a rich family life.
  • Good sex does not mean you have a good relationship.
  • What happens when you grow and those around are not changing? Can you outgrow your marriage?
  • What turned John’s marriage around?
  • Who can men really go to about problems in their relationships?
  • We often live in superficial connection.
  • How to take on deep conversations with your spouse
  • Involve questions that connect. Did you ever ask what makes your wife happy? What makes her upset? What are her likes, dislikes?
  • Why it’s important to understand your spouse’s childhood
  • Stop trying to fix your spouse. Love her for who she is right now.
  • Work on yourself. Be patient. When you start growing, you want everyone to grow with you, but everyone has their own pace. If you are your best self, you are helping them to become their best.

MENTIONED EPISODES

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage

What It’s Like to Do the #75Hard Challenge

Changing Your Relationship with Alcohol with Ruari Fairbairns


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

PLUS 1 Free Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge