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Strategies to Keep Calm Through the Chaos

4 Strategies to Keep Calm Through the Chaos

Sometimes, life throws us a curveball. We might be cruising along, meeting all our goals, right on track for the future. Our family is thriving. Life is good, then suddenly we are launched into chaos.

That is what happened to our guest today, Gene Villeneuve. Gene is a Canadian who moved with his wife and kids to work in Paris, France. They were living the dream until two years ago when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Gene was on The Dad Edge previously to talk about how to love a spouse with cancer. He did the best he could to be a good husband and dad as his wife went through grueling treatments and surgeries. But just when his wife was recovering from her last surgery, Gene found out that his status with his job in France had changed and he would have 6 weeks to move his family back to Canada.

Gene tells us about how coped with this huge upheaval in his life and four of his personal strategies to keep calm through the chaos.

'I’ve learned that it’s not worth adding more drama into chaos. The more drama you add to an existing chaotic situation, the more drama you’ll beget.'—@genevilleneuve #dads #men #fathers #change #adversity Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

Keep Calm Through the Chaos

  1. Make a short list of things that need to be done, persevere, and check them off. Focus on the long-term objective.
  2. Believe in yourself. Know that whatever is going on around you, you can figure it out.
  3. Take care of yourself—relaxation, fitness, sleep, nutrition.
  4. Spend quality time with family in any little way you can.

 

 

MENTIONED EPISODE:

How to Love a Spouse with Cancer with Gene Villeneuve

 


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How to Stop Obsessing Over Life’s Trivial Problems

How to Stop Obsessing Over Life’s Trivial Problems


Our previous episode was called A Father’s Last words and it was something TDE has never done before. Brian Froneyberger bravely and generously gave of the perspective of a father who was dying of cancer. It was a true privilege to listen to his wisdom about what really matters to a person who knows their time is running out. Tragically, he passed away between the recording and release of the show and his funeral service was held the very day his episode came out.

Having this conversation with Brian forced things into perspective. We often get frustrated with our kids. We get irritable with our spouses. We stress about work. Most of us feel like we’re under a burden of obligations, but we have the choice to turn this around. Brian would give anything to be here having the problems we are facing right now.

It’s not what happens to us, it’s how we respond to it. We can be the calm in the middle of the storm if we don’t obsess over life’s trivial problems. When we’re feeling stressed, depressed, or hopeless, we must ask ourselves:

  • Is worrying really worthy of our precious time?
  • Wouldn’t it be better to focus our emotions on what really matters in life?
  • Shouldn’t we be giving our energy to the things that we love instead of those we hate?
The time we spend dwelling on life's trivial problems robs us of the time we have with the people who mean most to us. #life #death #gratitude #dads #men #fathers #wisdom Click To Tweet

HELP BRIAN FRONEYBERGER’S FAMILY

Donate via their GoFundMe page.

LISTEN TO BRIAN’S EPISODE: A Father’s Last Words


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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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TDE Brian - A Father's Last Words

A Father’s Last Words


Our guest today is Brian Froneyberger. He battled stage 4 incurable head and neck cancer. Ten days after recording this show, Brian lost the fight and passed away. He was only forty-six years old. He left behind a wife, a son, and a daughter.

What you will hear today are a father’s last words. They are a gift to all of those who listen. No man knows how much time he has left. Brian bravely opens up about facing death, how it puts life in perspective, and what really matters most before the last goodbye.

His family is now coping with the loss. They are also in trouble financially. The Dad Edge Alliance has donated $1000 to their Go Fund Me campaign. You can help too by clicking the link below.

HELP BRIAN’S FAMILY

Donate via their GoFundMe page.

'You take for granted what being here means ... being able to pick up a phone and talk to your kids.'—Brian Froneyberger #brianstrong #dads #men #fathers #family Click To Tweet

'My gratitude for me is seeing other people smile.'—Brian Froneyberger #lastwords #gratitude #death #dying #parents Click To Tweet

Brian’s Story

Brian was the typical dad and a healthy guy. He coached, worked out, and ate clean. He didn’t drink or smoke. Then in 2015, Brian noticed a spot on the back of his throat. He thought he might have to have a tonsil removed. Then a few months later, he noticed the lymph nodes in his neck were swollen. When he went for a biopsy, they told him the news that no one, especially a father, wants to hear. He had squamous cell carcinoma.

Brian had tell his wife, his kids, and his parents. The good news was that doctors assured him that it was treatable with a very high success rate of being cured. Brian had a great outlook as he began treatment.

His particular type of cancer was caused by the HPV virus. HPV a very common virus that most humans will have at some point in their lives. Most peoples’ immune systems will fight the virus and eventually clear it, but in some cases the virus can remain, causing cancer.

Unfortunately, the chemotherapy and radiation were not effective. Brian’s lymph nodes swelled even more, and he was forced to undergo a surgery called a radical dissection of the neck where doctors removed 23 lymph nodes, muscle, nerves and a section of Brian’s jugular vein. Recovery was brutal, especially because the radiation therapy made Brian’s skin weak, but all in all, it went well and the family was hopeful.

Tragically, within five months his cancer came back. This time, Brian was told that squamous cell carcinoma that recurred was incurable and that he had a year to two years to live. It was a crushing blow after being under the impression that he could beat the disease. It was a conversation he didn’t know how to have with his family.

With new treatments coming out every day, Brian went back to his normal life as much as he could as he waited for a miracle. Eventually, he couldn’t work anymore and his family fell into financial turmoil from the lack of income and the enormous amount of medical bills. Still, Brian tells us how he spent his last days, not by trying to finish a crazy bucket list, but by appreciating the simple moments in life with his family.

What You’ll Learn

  • How Brian and his wife divorced and remarried
  • How his perspective on daily life changed after his diagnosis
  • How important it is to love each other, get a long, solve problems, and talk through them
  • How it is just as important to know when not to talk
  • The balance between teaching kids accountability and also teaching them nurturing and love
  • What inspired him to make memories with his family
  • The amazing t-shirt campaign students and their families organized to help him
  • What Brian wanted to be remembered for
'My ambition to live daily is to live with love.'—Brian Froneyberger #BrianStrong #cancer #dads #fathers #parents Click To Tweet

HELP BRIAN’S FAMILY

Donate via their GoFundMe page.


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

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hal elrod

Battling Cancer as a Dad with Hal Elrod


Hal Elrod is a best selling author, international keynote speaker, ultra-marathon runner, world class success coach, and most importantly, a father. He is a man who made it his life’s mission to reach his true potential. Hal seemed absolutely unstoppable. Then he was diagnosed with cancer.

In this episode, Hal Elrod reveals what it was like to face death head-on, what tools he used to heal himself, and how he and his family got though it.

'The greatest gift that we can give to the people that we love is to fulfill our potential so that we can help them fulfill theirs.' – @HalElrod #quotes #miracles #dads #men #fathers #manhood #fatherhood Click To Tweet

Hal Elrod

Hal began a promising career in sales when he was nineteen years old. Then he was hit head-on by a drunk driver at 70 miles an hour. His car was spun into oncoming traffic and he was crushed inside. He bled so heavily from his injuries that he was dead for 6 minutes until the rescue crew cut him out of the wreckage. This first major adversity made him wonder if he was meant for something more. He soon became a motivational speaker.

Then, in 2008 the economy crashed, and Hal crashed with it. He lost half his clients and income, which led to him losing his house to the bank. It was 6-month downward spiral. He came to the conclusion that in order to turn his life around, he would have to dedicate time every day to personal development. The only problem was, how make time for it, and how to make that time incredibly productive?

'Choose the emotions that’ll best serve you. Don’t let your circumstances dictate your emotions.' – @HalElrod #quotes #adversity #cancer #death #affirmations Click To Tweet

Hal decided he’d have to a wake up an hour earlier. Even though it was hard for him at first, it was the only way. Then he researched and gathered the most powerful personal development strategies in human history and began to practice them. He started meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling. He wrote the wildly popular book based on this system. To this day, his life’s work is The Miracle Morning.

By this time, Hal was married with two kids. They had their home in Austin and were living the dream until the toughest year of his life when he was diagnosed with cancer.

What You’ll Learn

  • The key to being free from emotional pain
  • How he chose to be happy and grateful while facing a 70% chance of dying
  • How to get over the hump of feeling guilty for investing in yourself
  • How The Miracle Morning will help you become a better version of yourself every day
  • Why Hal reads ten pages a parenting or marriage book every morning instead of a business book
  • Why you should read in front of your kids
  • How his wife and kids responded to his diagnosis
  • How he coped with his family’s reaction
  • Why we have to choose our reasons for our adversity
  • What circled in his mind day in and day out as he endured a brutal chemo treatment
  • Hal’s view on death
  • The miracle equation to do things you didn’t think you could do
  • How he used the miracle equation to defy the odds and beat cancer
  • Why the purpose of the goal is not to hit the goal
  • Why you should write down affirmations and recite them
  • How affirmations were a crucial factor in his healing
  • How his experience with cancer made him a better father
'Accept all things you can’t change. Accept life before it happens.' – @HalElrod #quotes #motivation #acceptance #miracles #faith Click To Tweet

 

RELATED EPISODE: Being a Good Dad with ‘The Miracle Morning’

 


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THE DAD EDGE SUMMIT 2018

JUNE 7TH – 9TH – ST. LOUIS

Are you an extraordinary father looking to accelerate in all aspects of your life?
Are you looking to connect to like-minded Dads that want to come together to strengthen and grow in their abilities both personally and professionally?
The Dad Edge 2018 Summit (Live Event) will set you up to do exactly that.

LEARN MORE


Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

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Dad Edge Alliance

how to love a spouse with cancer

How to Love a Spouse with Cancer with Gene Villeneuve

Gene Villeneuve shares his experience with the very difficult subject.

Today on the Good Dad Project, we have Gene Villeneuve, a successful business man who lives in Paris with his wife and two daughters. Last year, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and they have endured 11 months of emotional exhaustion as she has undergone treatment.

It’s more than likely we’ll all watch one of our loved ones facing a deadly illness during our lives. Gene talks about dealing with the pain and uncertainty of watching a spouse go through cancer treatment while keeping his career in balance and still being a good dad to his kids.

Three things he said were crucial to helping him know how to love a spouse with cancer.

1. Create a community of support.

Husbands of cancer patients tend to feel isolated and alone, but you will also need help. Just because you’re not the one with cancer, doesn’t mean you don’t need support.

2. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Self-care might feel selfish during this time, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t be strong for your family. Exercise, good rest, and downtime are needed to restore your mental and physical reserves.

3. Listen to what your spouse needs.

As men, we might have a tendency to worry about filling in the practical gaps, like the keeping up with dirty laundry or washing the dishes in the sink. But in reality, a spouse with cancer is frightened and worried. They need to express themselves, and you need to listen to them on deeper level. Then you can love them in the way they need to be loved during this time.

Gene says he now loves his wife more than ever. He says facing a situation like this makes us realize the things we may have taken for granted. We must ask ourselves, what are the things most important to us? What can we do to show that appreciation?

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Gene Villeneuve’s website – BusinessHealthResults.com

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GENE AKA "JOHNNY DEPP" :)

GENE AKA “JOHNNY DEPP” 🙂