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Parenting ADHD and Autism with Penny Williams

Being a parent challenges us in every way. Parenting an ADHD or Autistic child is even more challenging. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals and the constant struggle can make you feel frustrated, stuck and hopeless.

Today we have Penny Williams on The Dad Edge. She’s a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey.

Through her podcast, award-winning books, online parent training programs, parent coaching, and mom retreats, Penny has helped thousands of families survive and thrive in the face of ADHD. Penny says the key is not to learn how to change your child, but how to change yourself.

In this episode, she teaches the mindset and parenting skills, insights, tools, and strategies, to understand your child’s behavior and help them to interact with the world in the best way possible.

This show is a revelation for all dads and moms. Empower yourself with the training you need to be the parent you child needs.

“Your kid is not giving you a hard time, he is having a hard time.”—Penny Williams

Penny Williams

A self-proclaimed “veteran” parent of a son with ADHD, Penny Williams is the creator of the award-winning website, parentingadhdandautism.com, and a frequent contributor on parenting a child with ADHD for ADDitude Magazine, Healthline, and other parenting and special needs publications.

“I endured a long learning curve when my son was diagnosed with ADHD,” says Williams. “I share my experiences parenting my son, Ricochet, in the hopes of shortening that painful time of trial by fire for others.” Williams says she gains strength in parenting Ricochet through a quote from Albert Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Williams’ first book, Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, is an Amazon best-seller and a USA Best Book Awards winner. Her second book, What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD, won the Psychology & Mental Health category of the 2015 International Book Awards.

Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Most books on ADHD don’t dare expose the genuine grit of the moment-by-moment peaks and valleys of this special parenthood — the gut-wrenching, crying on the bathroom floor, feeling like you’re losing your mind truth of the matter that is learning to successfully parent a child with ADHD. Boy Without Instructions changes that.

Williams shares her unfiltered thoughts and emotions during her progression through this learning curve during this harrowing ride. Right before your eyes, this initially grief-stricken momma transforms from obsessed-with-ADHD control-freak and helicopter mom to optimistic and (mostly) confident parent of a child who happens to have ADHD. Boy Without Instructions validates your grief and guilt, yet reveals that it’s truly possible to craft a (mostly) joy-filled life for your child with ADHD, yourself, and your family.

What You’ll Learn

  • Behavior looks like disrespect and opposition on the surface, but it’s really your child struggling.
  • We want our kids to reflect on us that we are a good parent, but we must address why the behavior is happening instead of the behavior itself.
  • Acknowledge that your kid’s emotions are real for them.
  • If we don’t allow our kids to be who they are, we’re not supporting them to ever discover themselves. They will feel like we don’t love them just the way they are.
  • When we decide and try to control what is good behavior, we don’t give room for anything else.
  • There is a big difference between trying to guide our kids and changing them.
  • Our kids are trying 10 times harder than we see on the surface.
  • Parents are the scaffolding on which kids grow.
  • The more we protect and try to avoid difficult situations, the more opportunities kids lose to learn how to cope. They only learn to avoid discomfort.
  • Teach them to be able to get through something uncomfortable.
  • Step back enough to let them make mistakes.
  • Set your values apart from your parenting rules.
  • Bad behavior feels personal and against us, but it’s not.
  • The difference between tantrums and meltdowns
  • Dealing with other parents’ judgement
  • Set expectations before doing something like going to the grocery store.
  • How to tune into why your kid is acting out—sensory overload, tired, hungry, struggling…
  • Use empathy instead of authority.
  • What’s the difference between parenting kids with and without ADHD? Nothing.
  • Allow natural consequences instead of punitive punishment.
  • Kids will be hyperaware if they are being treated different from their siblings. Set one parenting plan for the whole house with values and boundaries.
  • Kindness is always the right way. Everything comes from there.
  • Giving ourselves grace—We will fail. When we give ourselves permission to be human and make a mistake, we give our kids permission.
  • Working “the calm muscle”
  • You matter too. We can only do good for others when we feel good ourselves. When you feel good, the house feels good.
  • We give less to our kids when we do not practice self-care.
  • Why it’s important to have a tribe to lean on and learn from as an ADHD/autism parent

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Parenting Your ADHD Kid with Confidence Angela Pruess

Strategy Guide for Parenting ADHD Kids with Brian King


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Penny William’s Links

parentingadhdandautism.com

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journey inward

A Father’s Journey Inward

On Thursdays we like to interview every day dads. Today we talk to Dad Edge Alliance member, Ben. His mission was to become the best father he could be to his 6 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. He knew that they were picking up on what he did, not what he said, but sometimes he had a hard time being calm. After struggling with anxiety most of his life, he realized he needed to find a way to stay patient, especially when the kids were crying and things were stressful with work.

Ben had to go inward to face his flaws, to confront the truth about who he was and who he wanted to be. This unlocked the journey to living his life according to his values, to staying calm through the storm by accepting others as they are and letting go of the need to control.

The less pressure you exert, the more influence you have. Accept others and don’t control.

 

 

 

RELATED EPISODES

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 1—The Individual

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 2—The Partnership

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 3—Becoming Friends

4 Elements of a Legendary Marriage Part 4—Becoming Lovers

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood


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Strategies to Keep Calm Through the Chaos

4 Strategies to Keep Calm Through the Chaos

Sometimes, life throws us a curveball. We might be cruising along, meeting all our goals, right on track for the future. Our family is thriving. Life is good, then suddenly we are launched into chaos.

That is what happened to our guest today, Gene Villeneuve. Gene is a Canadian who moved with his wife and kids to work in Paris, France. They were living the dream until two years ago when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Gene was on The Dad Edge previously to talk about how to love a spouse with cancer. He did the best he could to be a good husband and dad as his wife went through grueling treatments and surgeries. But just when his wife was recovering from her last surgery, Gene found out that his status with his job in France had changed and he would have 6 weeks to move his family back to Canada.

Gene tells us about how coped with this huge upheaval in his life and four of his personal strategies to keep calm through the chaos.

'I’ve learned that it’s not worth adding more drama into chaos. The more drama you add to an existing chaotic situation, the more drama you’ll beget.'—@genevilleneuve #dads #men #fathers #change #adversity Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

Keep Calm Through the Chaos

  1. Make a short list of things that need to be done, persevere, and check them off. Focus on the long-term objective.
  2. Believe in yourself. Know that whatever is going on around you, you can figure it out.
  3. Take care of yourself—relaxation, fitness, sleep, nutrition.
  4. Spend quality time with family in any little way you can.

 

 

MENTIONED EPISODE:

How to Love a Spouse with Cancer with Gene Villeneuve

 


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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

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What did you think of the show?

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