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roger mathews

Positive Fatherhood with Roger Mathews


Today we have a celebrity guest, Roger Mathews from the Jersey Shore. He was JWoww’s boyfriend in the show, and they got married and had two kids. They are now divorced, and Roger only gets to be with his children 50% of the time, but that doesn’t stop him from being a 100% dad. What you’re going to hear today about his take on fatherhood is going to surprise you.

Roger Mathews talks about his upbringing and the amazing connection he has with his father. He talks about the lessons in money management he will pass on to his kids, and how he manages their screen time. He gets real about dealing with a special needs child. Most important of all, Roger talks about focusing on the positive in fatherhood and trying to put good things into the world in spite of the chaos that is happening right now.

What You’ll Learn

[20:00]

Before becoming a father, Roger already had an experience of what a great dad is. Roger says that he’s very close to his father and they have a special bond between them.

He describes his dad to be soft-spoken and he would rarely punish his children for doing anything wrong. It was generally his mom who did the heavy lifting.

Here are a few important lessons Roger learned from his dad:

  1. Financial literacy: There was one quote his dad said about finance: “if you can’t pay for something you, you probably don’t deserve it.” Roger says that he himself uses his dad’s quotes to teach his children.
  2. Another quote that Roger remembers, “There’s nothing in this world you can do to extend your time on earth, but there’s a lot of things you can do to shorten it.” This taught Roger early on how crucial his life is and how important it is to protect it.
  3. His dad was a spiritual person and Roger talks about a lot of other quotes that helped him navigate through life with a spiritual perspective.

[30:30]

Coming to Roger as a dad, he’s a proud father of a 4 and a 6-year-old. 

He’s very adventurous and loves to go out whenever he sees a moment. He also encourages his kids to go out.

Roger explains that before getting kids, his life was more “selfish” but after having them, he lives for his kids.

[43:27]

Later in the interview, Roger was asked how be a dad to a special needs child.

Roger says that this is the most common question he gets, and honestly, every child is different. How he treats his child is probably not the best way you should treat yours.

His son, Grayson is diagnosed with autism. Roger says he does everything that needs to be done. His son takes therapy every week and is mild to moderate on the spectrum.

Roger further explains how he hates the word “normal.” He says that every one of us has something different from normal that makes all of us not “normal.”

He emphasizes the point of not giving labels to kids because it goes deeper into their subconscious and becomes their reality.

 


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Parenting ADHD and Autism with Penny Williams

Being a parent challenges us in every way. Parenting an ADHD or Autistic child is even more challenging. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals and the constant struggle can make you feel frustrated, stuck and hopeless.

Today we have Penny Williams on The Dad Edge. She’s a coffee-lovin’, ADHD-obsessed momma on a mission, and she’s honored to help families on this always chaotic, often stressful, anything-but-ordinary parenting journey.

Through her podcast, award-winning books, online parent training programs, parent coaching, and mom retreats, Penny has helped thousands of families survive and thrive in the face of ADHD. Penny says the key is not to learn how to change your child, but how to change yourself.

In this episode, she teaches the mindset and parenting skills, insights, tools, and strategies, to understand your child’s behavior and help them to interact with the world in the best way possible.

This show is a revelation for all dads and moms. Empower yourself with the training you need to be the parent you child needs.

“Your kid is not giving you a hard time, he is having a hard time.”—Penny Williams

Penny Williams

A self-proclaimed “veteran” parent of a son with ADHD, Penny Williams is the creator of the award-winning website, parentingadhdandautism.com, and a frequent contributor on parenting a child with ADHD for ADDitude Magazine, Healthline, and other parenting and special needs publications.

“I endured a long learning curve when my son was diagnosed with ADHD,” says Williams. “I share my experiences parenting my son, Ricochet, in the hopes of shortening that painful time of trial by fire for others.” Williams says she gains strength in parenting Ricochet through a quote from Albert Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Williams’ first book, Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD, is an Amazon best-seller and a USA Best Book Awards winner. Her second book, What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD, won the Psychology & Mental Health category of the 2015 International Book Awards.

Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD

Most books on ADHD don’t dare expose the genuine grit of the moment-by-moment peaks and valleys of this special parenthood — the gut-wrenching, crying on the bathroom floor, feeling like you’re losing your mind truth of the matter that is learning to successfully parent a child with ADHD. Boy Without Instructions changes that.

Williams shares her unfiltered thoughts and emotions during her progression through this learning curve during this harrowing ride. Right before your eyes, this initially grief-stricken momma transforms from obsessed-with-ADHD control-freak and helicopter mom to optimistic and (mostly) confident parent of a child who happens to have ADHD. Boy Without Instructions validates your grief and guilt, yet reveals that it’s truly possible to craft a (mostly) joy-filled life for your child with ADHD, yourself, and your family.

What You’ll Learn

  • Behavior looks like disrespect and opposition on the surface, but it’s really your child struggling.
  • We want our kids to reflect on us that we are a good parent, but we must address why the behavior is happening instead of the behavior itself.
  • Acknowledge that your kid’s emotions are real for them.
  • If we don’t allow our kids to be who they are, we’re not supporting them to ever discover themselves. They will feel like we don’t love them just the way they are.
  • When we decide and try to control what is good behavior, we don’t give room for anything else.
  • There is a big difference between trying to guide our kids and changing them.
  • Our kids are trying 10 times harder than we see on the surface.
  • Parents are the scaffolding on which kids grow.
  • The more we protect and try to avoid difficult situations, the more opportunities kids lose to learn how to cope. They only learn to avoid discomfort.
  • Teach them to be able to get through something uncomfortable.
  • Step back enough to let them make mistakes.
  • Set your values apart from your parenting rules.
  • Bad behavior feels personal and against us, but it’s not.
  • The difference between tantrums and meltdowns
  • Dealing with other parents’ judgement
  • Set expectations before doing something like going to the grocery store.
  • How to tune into why your kid is acting out—sensory overload, tired, hungry, struggling…
  • Use empathy instead of authority.
  • What’s the difference between parenting kids with and without ADHD? Nothing.
  • Allow natural consequences instead of punitive punishment.
  • Kids will be hyperaware if they are being treated different from their siblings. Set one parenting plan for the whole house with values and boundaries.
  • Kindness is always the right way. Everything comes from there.
  • Giving ourselves grace—We will fail. When we give ourselves permission to be human and make a mistake, we give our kids permission.
  • Working “the calm muscle”
  • You matter too. We can only do good for others when we feel good ourselves. When you feel good, the house feels good.
  • We give less to our kids when we do not practice self-care.
  • Why it’s important to have a tribe to lean on and learn from as an ADHD/autism parent

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Parenting Your ADHD Kid with Confidence Angela Pruess

Strategy Guide for Parenting ADHD Kids with Brian King


Protect your kids with the Bark App

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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Penny William’s Links

parentingadhdandautism.com

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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Follow The Dad Edge


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Join over 420 men becoming their best selves
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