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emotional intelligence skills for men

Emotional Intelligence Skills for Men with Dr. Nick Sotelo

In this episode, we have invited Dr. Nick Sotelo, a coach and counselor. He is a leader in our Dad Edge Alliance and guides people to reaching their potential. He has succeeded in helping people achieve more in their careers and relationships.

Dr. Nick also helps men struggling with addiction, their identity, and their ability to connect well with spouses and children. Today we talk about emotional intelligence skills for men.

You will learn how to master your anger and patience, how to become more self-aware, and how to realize and reach your potential for an upgraded life!

What You’ll Learn

Relationship Pitfalls

[9:22]

Nick discusses the importance of the degree of knowledge and awareness. It’s about different styles of how families do certain things and blend them into a new relationship.

[10:26]

Building a relationship is new learning, and sometimes there come challenges that people should know what’s worth fighting for. Nick emphasizes the importance of awareness of what people are bringing into a relationship, especially on the front-end types.

Overcoming the Feeling of Brokenness

[15:32]

Finding people, especially with your family, or creating a connection to spiritual and religious institutions and asking or receiving guidance and mentorship around relationship issues, specifically communication, and learning what it takes to make a marriage work.

[16:36]

Nobody wants to view themselves as broken. But learning from a different perspective, it is essential to acknowledge brokenness, get over it and move on.

Realization and Acceptance

[17:28]

There is nothing wrong with being imperfect. The difference is that as being flawed, at a mastermind, people are humble and is always eager to learn and live a legendary life. In the group environment at a mastermind, a variety of people acts to learn from different experiences.

[20:50]

Nick shared that people should be allowed to show their vulnerabilities. He once was one of the guys who can’t accept that something is wrong and tell people that everything was fine.

[22:10]

In their call team statement, there is a saying that “we are men willing to do the work,” He believes that it is vital for people as accountability is one way to help someone forward.

Anger Issues

[28:04]

Nick studied the psychological side of feelings and emotions and how people will integrate them and deal with everyday frustrations that can cause anger.

[29:53]

Anger is a confusing feeling when connected to other emotions. He believes that part of the work is understanding what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you afraid, and what makes you angry. He said that people are mad because other feelings could be active, and we are not aware of it.

Four Phases Components

[30:48]

People should figure out their thoughts and their feelings.

[31:58]

Learn to take some box breathing deep breaths and how to remove yourself from a situation. Also, learn how to trigger some helpful thoughts in your mind instead of clinging to the not so useful ideas.

[32:17]

Building up people’s resilience to anger is essential to him. Change the routine and change the media that you choose to take into your being every single day.

[33:05]

When enduring a problem with anger or a pattern with anger, learn to link it back to forgiveness. Either forgiveness for yourself, for something that you think that you’ve done, or forgiveness for other people along the way that have inflicted damage.

Dr. Nick Sotelo’s Links

nicksotelo.com

LinkedIn


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fatherhood skills

Critical Fatherhood Skills

You do not have to be a victim of you past. You can learn to pivot and become stronger. Today’s guest proves it.

Everyday dad and Dad Edge Alliance member Christopher Wilson grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father. He never knew what a normal, healthy family was supposed to look like.

Now he is a husband and a father and works for the inspirational fitness community, Critical Bench. Chris shares what he learned from his difficult childhood, how he deals with his own patience and anger issues, and the critical fatherhood skills he uses to make sure his home is a happy one for his wife and kids.

Chris Wilson

Chris Wilson, BS, CPT, SSN has worked in the fitness industry for 20 years. He began as a personal trainer at World’s Gym after college in 1998 working with clients face to face. After managing a fitness center for years, he wanted to reach more people and has continued his coaching helping people all over the world sharing his passion and enthusiasm for fitness, strength and health.

What You’ll Learn

  • Abuse is a form of attention that children can learn to crave
  • How Chris got over anger and patience issues
  • Kids need to be part of something. Connection can help teens get through a rough life.
  • How Chris got through the why me victim moments
  • Even when Chris thought his dad didn’t love him, he knew God loved him and that got him through.
  • What Chris has learned about marriage.
  • Spouses become roommates when everything is about the kids.
  • As a man, be a sounding board for you wife. Women want to be heard.
  • If you don’t listen to you wife, she feels you don’t care.
  • Your wife needs you to show up at random moments.
  • When a woman’s unspoken needs are not fulfilled, she will reach a breaking point.
  • The importance of praise. Show your appreciation for all the little things.
  • How to stop taking things so personally in life
  • What to do about your inner bully
  • Don’t be too good to apologize to your kids.
  • Praise your kids for owning up to mistakes.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Wild at Heart with John Eldredge

Dad Edge Alliance Q&A: The Modern Revolution of the Masculine Heart with John Eldredge


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

 

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse
Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


Chris Wilson’s Links

youtube.com/user/Criticalbench/

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOKHERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


LIVE LEGENDARY

Join over 457 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

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how to become a patient father

How to Become a Patient Father in 37 Minutes

Today we talk about how to become a patient father.

The Dad Edge started on one of the worst nights of my life as a dad. I lost my patience and did something I regret to this day.

I didn’t grow up with my dad in the picture, and the men in my life were not good father figures to me. I was raised in an uncertain, sometimes abusive, alcohol-ridden household. When I became a parent, I didn’t have a clue. All I knew is what I didn’t want to do, but that wasn’t enough.

Losing our temper does not mean that we are bad, hopeless people. We are only lacking the skills to talk ourselves down so that we can respond instead of reacting to the daily challenges of fatherhood.

In this show, I give you a toolbox of strategies that you can use to understand the triggers, notice the signs, and disarm the bomb before it goes off.

Patience is the capacity to accept, tolerate, or delay trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why focusing on what NOT to do as a parent backfires
  • Why it’s so hard to determine where our anger comes from
  • The shame and guilt we feel because we don’t understand why we sometimes verbally, or even physically, take our frustration out on our loved ones
  • The things we do in the morning that set us up for disaster when it comes to losing our tempers
  • The elements of patience
  • The physical triggers that signal that we’re about to react
  • How we unwittingly trigger our fight or flight mechanisms
  • How to create space between reaction and response
  • Why emotions are neither bad nor good
  • How to detach from outcomes
  • How to prepare for moments that will test our patience
  • How to give forgive ourselves when we make mistakes
  • Stopping negative self-talk
  • Executing an after-action review

BECOME A PATIENT FATHER IN 37 MINUTES

Learn how to understand, predict, and neutralize your temper in this quick, actionable eCourse.

Includes print offs, templates, plus a 30-day membership in THE DAD EDGE MASTERMIND.

Get support, motivation, and advice from other men who’ve been there. With the accountability of the community, you will not fail!


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOKHERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


LIVE LEGENDARY

Join over 457 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge

 

A Champion’s Uprising with Muay Thai Champion Chris Romulo

How do you learn how to make something of your life when you never had an example to follow?

Today’s guest knew he wanted to make a name for himself in the world, but he didn’t know how. Growing up with an unavailable, addicted father, he was filled with anger and took it out on those around him. But he says that we are all born with the champion spirit within. All we need to do is tap into it.

Muay Thai legend Chris Romulo returns to the show to share his story of a champion’s uprising. He talks about how he grew from a frustrated, depressed young man into a world-renowned fighter, and how he’s used what he’s learned in the ring to become the husband, father, entrepreneur and community leader he is today.

Chris Romulo

From the humblest of beginnings in Queens Village, Queens, it was Chris Romulo’s dream to make a name for himself. While he was physically present, Chris’ father was not emotionally or psychologically there for Chris or his family. This took a toll on Chris as he struggled with abandonment, depression, and bouts of anger. Watching his father struggle with a gambling addiction provided Chris the drive to achieve something greater for his life as he inched and clawed his way through his early years. But, it was a near death street fight that turned out to be the decisive moment that turned Chris to Muay Thai, setting him on a path to personal growth and success, in both the sport and life.

Muay Thai was the perfect outlet for Chris’ natural physicality. With this newfound passion, Romulo became a true pioneer of the sport in 1995. Despite limited opportunities to showcase his skills in New York City, his successes were many. Romulo was determined to learn and gain as much experience as possible training and fighting up and down the East coast. At the start of his career he racked up an impressive amateur record of 18-3-1(7), earning 5 WKA state and national titles.  His bronze medal performance at the 2004 IFMA tournament in Bangkok was the launching point for his jump to professional fighting.

In 2011, after an illustrious career in which he posted a remarkable pro record of 13-3 (10KO) and, his crowning achievement, earned the Professional North American Super Middleweight title in 2010, Romulo made the momentous decision to retire from fighting and pay his passion for the sport forward. Due to his successes in the ring, many of today’s young athletes grew up watching Chris, were inspired by him, and continue to look to him as a foundation of the East coast Muay Thai community.

The year 2009 was a pivotal year for Romulo in his desire to extend his reach beyond the ring. He decided to bring his passion and respect for the culture of Muay Thai to a more mainstream audience as he opened CROM Physical Culture in Rockaway Beach, Queens. Through CROM PC, Chris has been able to continue his work with the youth by partnering with the Muay Thai Preservation Project, offering scholarships to at risk youth for no cost. Romulo and CROM PC have helped shape and guide the lives of countless youth that have gone on to winning national Muay Thai championships, excelled in their education, and have become competent and confident individuals in their community.

Chris Romulo is a product of his resiliency and Muay Thai. In 2012, Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc to Rockaway Beach. Romulo and his wife, as well as many others in the community, lost everything. Their home and their business were destroyed. The entire peninsula was devastated. But, Chris’, and his wife’s, resiliency powered them through this time period. While living in a friend’s basement, Chris and his wife, Sarah, rebuilt their gym and became a central part of the Rockaway community as it tried to climb out of the hole that Sandy left. Today, CROM PC has a permanent home, incorporated new programming, and has a 300+ member community.

While reflecting on his 20+ years as a Muay Thai fighter and coach, Chris felt the need to increase his reach beyond the four walls of his gym and NYC to try to help change as many lives as possible.  In 2015, Chris began offering online training programs that focused on martial arts, fitness, and mindset. Chris’ projects in 2016 included creating the first ever World Muay Thai Summit, featuring superstars John Wayne Parr, Bazooka Joe Valtelini and Chris Algieri.

Champions Uprising

In May of 2017, Chris’ memoir, Champions Uprising, will be published. His story displays his unwavering mindset of determination, grit, and the perseverance of the human spirit. Chris Romulo grew up in a broken home. His mother Lucita, a Filipino immigrant, wanted Chris to go to college and live the American Dream. His father Carlito, also a Filipino immigrant, detached himself from the family and turned to gambling.

After a series of unfortunate events in grammar school, Chris took to the streets of Queens, New York, where at twenty years old a near-death street fight redirected his life and purpose. Chris then set off on a twenty-year journey through the study of Muay Thai, which took him from New York City to Bangkok, Thailand and back again. As a fighter, Chris went on to become the first professional North American Super-Middleweight Muay Thai Champion in 2010. But after retiring, Chris was forced to make one more comeback when Hurricane Sandy destroyed his home and gym in 2012.

Chris is convinced that struggle and setbacks can be the fuel to future success. He also believes that by understanding how the mind works, you can use your thoughts as weapons for hunting down your dreams rather than digging yourself into a hole. “Control your thoughts. Control your reality,” is a mantra Chris likes to live by. And he is eager to share his story with the world and uncover stories of “champions” of other industries, to show how we all have the tools inside us to overcome adversity when we tap into our fighting spirit. So while continuing to coach at CROM, Chris now motivates people outside of the gym’s four walls through public speaking.

“It all takes heart.”—Chris Romulo

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Larry Hagner on The Eight Count Podcast with Chris Romulo

Reversing Generations of Bad Parenting with 6-Time Muay Thai Champion Chris Romulo

The 4-Step Process to Build Unshakable Confidence

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


 


Chris Romulo

chrisromulo.com

The Eight Count Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


IT’S TIME TO RE-INVENT HOW WE SHOW UP FOR OUR FAMILIES

Register for the Dad Edge Virtual Summit

Dad Edge Virtual Summit 2020

power of your story

The Unbelievable Power of Sharing Your Story


Men are acutely aware of their mistakes and shortcomings. Rarely do we pay attention to our strengths and contributions. We don’t realize how much we have to give if we would just open up. Today we talk about the unbelievable power of sharing your story.

We interview new Dad Edge Alliance member, Tommy Morgan. He’s been married for ten years and has an 8-year-old son. Tommy’s marriage was going downhill fast, and the lack of control he felt over his life made him easily triggered to anger and rage.

Fast forward a few months, and Tommy’s relationships with his wife and son are growing. He’s made a commitment to self-care and is happier and hopeful. He talks about how hearing the experiences and wisdom of other men helped him to surmount his struggle, and how passing along his own story has changed the lives of those who hear it.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Extreme Ownership for Fathers with Leif Babin

Become Irresistible to Your Woman with Allana Pratt


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


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Tommy Morgan

Facebook

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

LINKS


Hungry for more out of life?

Become one of the 350 men of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @thedadedge