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Sobered Up, So Now What? with Steve Galatioto

Sobered Up, So Now What? with Steve Galatioto


Drinking alcohol is ingrained in our culture. It’s socially acceptable and even expected, but sometimes we wonder if we’re drinking too much and what life might be like if we eliminate alcohol from our lives.

Today we have Steve Galatioto on The Dad Edge podcast. Steve is a husband and dad who runs an English school in Japan. He is also living alcohol-free after many years of heavy drinking. He blogs at Serene and Sober and has just published his book, Sobered Up, So Now What?: 3 Keys To Staying Sober & Succeeding At Life.

Listen as he tells us how quitting drinking can improve your body, mind, and soul, enabling you to become a better dad and more successful person.

'I did my best to be present as a father, but with something as powerful as alcohol and its physical toll on the body, it’s impossible to do anything, let alone parent.' – @stevengalatioto #alcohol #drinking #parenting #dads #fathers… Click To Tweet

Steve’s Story

Steve’s dad was an alcoholic and addict. One of his earliest memories was comforting his brothers while the cops’ blue and red lights flashed outside after his dad came home from one of his benders. Because of the unreliability of his father, Steve grew up hyper-vigilant. This anxiety laid the groundwork for his future reliance on alcohol.

Steve experienced a normal family life when his mom divorced his dad and she remarried a stable, hard-working man. He and his brothers split time between both worlds. Steve used to think this was a negative dynamic, but now he is grateful for the insights he gained from both sides.

Things got crazy when Steve went to college and started binge drinking. He had frequent blackouts where he couldn’t remember anything he had done the night before. He was able to maintain good grades and kept himself fit with power-lifting, but his problem with alcohol was solidified.

The day he met his Japanese future-wife, he knew she was the one he wanted to marry. Soon, they both moved to Japan and started a family. He had periods of sobriety when his wife was pregnant, but every time he went back, the alcohol sunk its hooks deeper and deeper into him. He got to the point where he was drinking every day and even during work.

Steve finally sought help and now lives a sober lifestyle. He wants to share his experience with others so they have the courage to try quitting and know how to reframe their lives without alcohol.

'Every single person in our life, no matter how bad they’ve been to us, there is always something we can get from that.' – @stevengalatioto #trauma #addiction #men #dads #fathers Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  •  The physiological effects of drinking
  • How he used to drink while carrying his son around town in a harness
  • How he let go of the guilt
  • His message for guys thinking about taking the plunge into sobriety
  • What life looks like after quitting drinking
  • How to stay sober and succeed in life
  • The 3Ds to sobriety (these also apply to porn, food, nicotine, or any addiction)
  • His parenting BASICs to thrive as a father
    • Be your best self
    • Actively engage
    • Set standards
    • Inform yourself
    • Connect with something greater
  • His “floor time” ritual
  • One cool question to prime your kids for a real discussion
'It’s much easier to be pulled through life through a compelling vision than to try to push your way through it.' – @stevengalatioto #motivation #inspiration #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODE: Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman


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Steve Galatioto’s Links

SereneandSober.com

Twitter

Amazon


Resources

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

 

GDP 132 - Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Today we have Omar Pinto, host and founder of the wildly popular SHAIR Podcast. SHAIR stands for Sharing Helps Addicts in Recovery. He’s part of our Dad Edge Alliance and he’s also a friend.

“O” shares the heart-wrenching story of the son he had to give up. He also takes us through his insane addiction to cocaine and alcohol, and how he not only survived, but transformed into one of the most well-known voices in recovery today. This is a special episode you will not forget!

The SHAIR Podcast

Drugs and alcohol are one of the most popular topics on the GDP. Many of us drink alcohol –  some of us are social drinkers, some of us might drink a lot – we’re all over the spectrum, but we’re all curious if we’re depending on it too much. There also might be some recreational drug users in the community who may wonder if their life could be better without drugs, but are too afraid to ask for help.

Omar Pinto has a huge fan base and he’s changing lives. Every week The SHAIR Podcast broadcasts amazing life-changing success stories from addicts and alcoholics all over the world and shares their inspiring journey into recovery. He also manages a 100% private Facebook accountability group for active and recovering alcoholics and addicts. His passion and life’s purpose is to inspire people struggling with addiction to take that first step towards recovery, to show them that their life could be so much better and that there is a better way to live.

Omar’s Story

Came from a dysfunctional home. His mom was Jehovah’s Witness, but his dad left the religion and it became a constant source of tension in the home. His dad was explosive and he grew watching parents fight all the time. At one point, Omar remembers that they each had their own bedroom, and he thought that when he got older he would do the same. This was normal to him.

His dad’s side of the family were heavy drinkers, but no one ever said the word “alcoholic.” They were social drinkers, weekend warriors. There was never a wedding, birthday, or funeral where alcohol was not involved.

Omar had low self-esteem as a kid. He worried about how he looked, whether he was smart, and if he would ever be a good athlete. He was a C student who had no special talents. Worst of all, he had a difficult time trying to fit in because his mom was Jehovah’s Witness. He couldn’t go to parties or participate in holiday activates. He was isolated and lost. It’s no wonder that drinking appealed to him.

At the age of seventeen, he got a job at a steakhouse. He left with a fat stack of cash every night and it was party time. He had no goals or aspirations. He was attending college, but not getting anywhere. He was already living the dream – a career waiter. The fun he was having was irresistible. But he started to drink on the job and one day passes out and gets fired.

He spent five years in college and didn’t get a degree. He decided to move to LA and get into the mortgage business. This was before the recession hit, and he was making the bucks. He met a girl and started a volatile relationship. Dysfunction seeks dysfunction. Omar was always wanted to be the hero, so he attracted victims. Once he rescued them, he took them hostage. Omar says he was an angry person; anger protected him and kept him sharp. His girlfriend moved in, and they had serious fights. He would go to work with scratch marks on his face.

After multiple break ups and reunions, he finally said he’s done with her for good. He was free and finally ready to move on with his life. A week later, his ex-girlfriend called.

She’s pregnant.

Fatherhood Nightmare

Omar was distraught. He called his dad and cried to him, but instead getting a sympathetic ear, his father told him, “Stop crying and man up. You’re twenty-five. You have nothing going for you. You couldn’t finish college. You can’t hold a steady job. This is the best thing that could happen to you. This will teach you how to be a man.”

The tears just stopped. Omar put his head back, and said, “Alright, Dad.”

His pregnant girlfriend moved back in, and the nightmare continues. It was rough, but Omar pushed through. As soon as his son was born, she left him to stay with her parents.

A constant battle to see his son ensued. Each time he tried to make arrangements, she avoided him or put him off. He spent the next year trying to see him. Finally, he told her, “If you want, you take full custody and relinquish me of any financial responsibility.” That was the offer she had been waiting for. She never answered him, just sent the papers. He was done.

The Descent into Addiction

Omar was broken and in a serious depression, he never stopped thinking about his son. Then someone offered him an online casino job in Costa Rica. This is where he met his present wife and the drug that would lead him into destruction.

Omar was told that above all, he had to fit in. His contacts and partners were valuable to the business. When he met all his coworkers, he couldn’t believe what insane partiers they were. They had bars in their offices. They even smoked weed right there at work. Omar drank and got high at work every day, having the best time ever.

One night, Omar was falling asleep on the desk. All his coworkers were on the way to the casino, but he told him he was too tired to go. How did they have the energy to stay out all night? Then one of the guys offered Omar some cocaine. The clouds parted. The angels sang. Omar felt like it was the secret elixir of success.

But it doesn’t take long to degrade into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde situation. Omar’s problem skyrocketed. He regularly fell into coke-induced psychosis and paranoia, disappearing on binges and acting on insane delusions.

During the same time, he married his new wife and she was pregnant. But he couldn’t stop. One night, with his heart racing so fast he had to down booze and sedatives to prevent a heart attack, he hit an all time low. He got on his knees and prayed for God to take him out of this world or get him clean.

He woke up the next day, got in his car, and drove to his therapist. “I need help,” he finally said. The therapist new of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that was starting in an hour. Omar made it. He shared his story. The people surrounded him. That was the beginning his journey into recovery.

A Life of Purpose in Recovery

The 12 Steps radically changed Omar’s life. They allowed him to work through his father’s death and the unresolved situation with his son. Omar knew his story might inspire people to make the first step toward recovery. He created The SHAIR Podcast for those who are suffering from this disease who are hiding behind a veil of shame, those who are isolated behind a computer who just need one ray of hope and support to get started.

Thanks to the program that saved his life, Omar is still with his beautiful wife and his daughter who is now fourteen-years-old. He surrounds himself with people with the same values and principles. Fidelity, loyalty, and responsibility are non-negotiable. As painful as the situation with his son was, Omar says he wouldn’t be the man he is today or appreciate his family like he does today if he hadn’t gone through it. Now, it’s his goal to be the best dad he can be for his daughter.

Omar’s Dad Wisdom

If you are lost and haven’t quite found out how to communicate with your kids and be a good father, you have to view your circle of influence.

If you have sucky friends who are shitty dads, get rid of them. Find guys who are solid who care about their children.

 

If you’re struggling with drugs and alcohol and you’re afraid to ask for help, if you’re afraid to be found out, go to SHAIR Private Facebook group. You will be welcomed and surrounded with absolute love and support.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN.

 

Mentioned Episodes:

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

SHAIR 134: “DO EPIC SHIT” with Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project and The Dads Edge Alliance


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links

Omar Pinto

theshairpodcast.com

Facebook

Private Facebook Group

Twitter


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

Dad Edge Alliance

Change Your Drinking Habits

Change Your Drinking Habits, Change Your Life – Join GDP Dry September!

If you’ve been thinking of the idea of whether to give up alcohol, now’s the time to do it. We’re doing a September 30-Day no alcohol challenge with the Good Dad Project Community. Join us on our free Dad Edge Facebook group and the Dad Edge Alliance membership group and share your experience. By making a commitment to quit drinking together, we will have the support and accountability we need to succeed.

 

 

Post your challenges and successes in our groups. We want to hear when it’s hard. We want to hear about the changes you see in your life. Help and inspire others in the group. Join our challenge today!

Use the hashtag #GDPDRYSEPTEMBER

 

JOIN THE DAD EDGE FREE FACEBOOK GROUP

JOIN THE DAD EDGE ALLIANCE ELITE MEMBERSHIP GROUP

For more resources to go alcohol-free, go to oneyearnobeer.com/gdp

Mentioned Episode: How Giving Up Alcohol Will Revolutionize Your Life with Ruari Fairbairns


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

How Giving Up Alcohol Will Revolutionize Your Life with Ruari Fairbairns

How Giving Up Alcohol Will Revolutionize Your Life with Ruari Fairbairns

Ruari Fairbairns from One Year No Beer is back to talk about his relationship with alcohol before and after he gave it up. In this episode, you’ll learn how giving up alcohol will revolutionize your life mentally, physically, and socially. You will also be given the tools you need to control your drinking with confidence and inspire people around you.

BEFORE ALCOHOL-FREE LIVING

Ruari Fairbairns was twelve years old the first time he got drunk. He saw adults do it and copied them. As he got older, he became the center of the party and the last man standing at the end of the night.

Ruari says he doesn’t think he had a bad relationship with alcohol. He didn’t drink alone at home. He never felt he needed it, but alcohol was part of his lifestyle, his career, and his social life. Even when he met his wife, they partied hard together.

But when it came time to start a family, it caused friction in his life. Ruari went out to binge drink two times a week, and his wife wasn’t happy about him coming home at four o’clock in the morning.

At first, he couldn’t see a way around living without alcohol. Alcohol was part of entertaining his clients. Drinking was part of being a man. Then Ruari became involved in an anger management program where he learned that caffeine and alcohol were the two biggest instigators. It was then that he decided to quit drinking for ninety days.

Ruari says that during that 90 days his whole life changed. A fog had been lifted away. He felt excitement and passion for life again. His ADHD and depression where gone. He couldn’t believe something so simple as not drinking could have such a profound effect on his life.

He decided to keep going and went two years without alcohol. Now his mission is to help others experience a more productive and fulfilling life without alcohol.

MOST PEOPE THINK “THIS IS GOING TO SUCK”

The fears most people have about quitting alcohol is that they will be bored and socially excluded. They’re thinking, No one’s going to like me. How am I going to have a good time? How am I going to go out with my wife and not have a cocktail?

But Ruari says that everything you’re thinking right now about why you can’t quit is bullshit. You’ll realize that when you get past it. Think back to when you were a kid. Did you need alcohol to have a good time? To stay up and play all night

ONE YEAR NO BEER

The One Year No Beer challenge educates people on how to exist and survive without drinking for 30 days to 90 days and beyond. The strategy is not to hide away. It’s to change your relationship with alcohol by creating new neuropathways in your brain.

Key to this thing is tribalism. One of the reasons people react negatively when you stop drinking because you are appearing to leave the tribe. People are made to question their own habit and that makes them fearful.

You are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you’re hanging around friends who drink, chances are you will be dragged into it. One Year No Beer builds a tribe for you so you have support while you’re doing the challenge. They have video groups, a Facebook group, and a forum community. They send daily emails and have courses. You’re able to belong to something while you step away briefly from your own tribe until you are strong enough to be among people who drink again.

DRINKING AND YOUR KIDS

As parents, we must lead by example. You can say what you like to your kids, but they will follow your actions before your words.

In the US 11% of alcohol consumed is by 12 to 20-year-olds. 90% of this consumption is in the form of binge drinking. It has been shown that young people who start early drink more heavily and more frequently than those who delayed their first drink. We know our kids are modeling our behavior. That is why it’s especially important for dads to set a good example by not relying on alcohol.

YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Many people feel like they need alcohol to bond with their spouses, but drinking actually kills your relationships. So many fights and arguments are triggered and spiral out of control when alcohol is involved. Going out and drinking together doesn’t build a long-term sustainable relationship.

Ruari says that step one for couples in distress is 90 days without booze. You can’t face any problems when you’re numbing yourself. You can connect on a deeper level when sober.

MONEY

Have you ever added up the money you spend on alcohol? Not just cost of drinks, but the taxis to drive you home, the junk food you consume when your drunk, the price of the inevitable health consequences. Saving money is one more reason to take on a One Year No Beer Challenge.

THIS IS NOT FOREVER

Ruari decided two years was enough abstinence for him. Sometimes he drinks, but in total control. One Year No Beer challenges put control back in your hands so you can choose when you want to drink and when you don’t want to.

JOIN THE CHALLENGE!

Join the Good Dad Project community in a 28-Day Alcohol-Free challenge and rewire your brain so that YOU are in control of your drinking. Your family, your career, your liver and your pocket will thank you!

You’ll get

  • daily email support
  • daily motivational videos
  • support and accountability on the go

Go to oneyearnobeer.com/gdp and get signed up for 20% off.

Don’t worry if you’ve caught this episode later. This discount will always be available for GDP listeners.

 

Mentioned Episodes: 

The Life Lessons Learned from Going One Year Without Drinking

How to Conquer Alcohol Addiction with Ruari Fairbains


give KIND a try

GDP exclusive

10 snack variety pack plus a monthly snack subscription

Visit kindsnacks.com/gooddad


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Ruari Fairbairns’s Links

Oneyearnobeer.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

 


Create an Epic Life

join The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance

going one year without drinking

The Life Lessons Learned from Going One Year Without Drinking

Alcohol has affected everyone in some way. We drink to reduce stress, to be more social in social settings, and to reward ourselves after a long, hard day at work. But what if drinking is actually bringing more stress into our lives? What if it’s causing us to miss business opportunities and is harming our relationships?

You’ll discover amazing insights into these questions in today’s podcast as I celebrate a whole year without drinking with three special guests who’ve all decided to live alcohol free. We discuss our experiences with alcohol, what kind of drinkers we used to be, what we didn’t see in our lives when we were drinking, and how our work lives, or social lives, and our family lives were dramatically improved when we took alcohol out of the equation.

Today’s Guests

Shane Ramer

Shane is the host of That Sober Guy podcast, where he discusses alcoholism, addiction, and recovery, and provides a platform for guests to speak their mind, tell their story and share their experience.

Ruari Fairbairns

Ruari grew up on the Isle of Mull in Scotland, and is a successful broker in London. After a few failed attempts, Ruari quit drinking and it fundamentally changed his life. Together with a colleague they decided to create something to change the peer pressure around giving up drinking, One Year No Beer.

Jason MacKenzie

Jason is an expert on peak human performance. He’s a father, speaker, author and coach, and the author of The Dadly Book of Open. He teaches audiences around the world how cultivating vulnerability will liberate the strength, wisdom and courage we already possess.

What was keeping us from quitting drinking?

Whether you’re a social drinker, a daily drinker, or a binge drinker, most of us are afraid to give up alcohol because of one or more of the following reasons.

  1. Fear of job issues – drinking is part of the corporate culture of many jobs.
  1. Fear of social awkwardness – how is it remotely possible to have fun without alcohol? Will we become a dull, boring person?
  1. Fear of losing friends – are we going to make other uncomfortable when we refuse to drink with them?
  1. Fear of anxiety – how do we cope with the stress of everyday life without the comfort of alcohol?

The Reality of Quitting Drinking

Shane, Ruari, Jason, and I debunked all these fears. Here is what we noticed when we gave up alcohol:

  1. Fear of job issues – productivity multiplies, business relationships improve, success is inevitable.
  1. Fear of social awkwardness – It was awkward at first, but we discovered that you don’t need alcohol to have a good time and you can connect with people on a deeper level when you’re not drunk.
  1. Fear of losing friends – Don’t make a big deal of not drinking. Other people will get used to it, and most don’t care as much as you think.
  1. Fear of anxiety – Alcohol increases anxiety. It can make you paranoid about how your drinking habits appear to others. It creates stress because you’re not being your best, authentic self.

Other Benefits of Giving Up Alcohol

  • Find out who you really are – Without alcohol to numb your feelings or weigh you down, you discover your authentic self and what you’re truly capable of.
  • Stop holding yourself back – Quitting drinking frees you from self-limiting and self-destructive beliefs and habits.
  • Exponential improvement in fitness results – Living a sober lifestyle reduces your caloric intake, makes life easier on your organs, and allows you to maximize workouts since you’re not hungover.
  • Increased confidence – Knowing you can deal with life without relying on alcohol is extremely empowering.
  • Feeling more relaxed – When you feel that you are more productive and capable, that your relationships are on the right track, and that you truly know yourself, stress and anxiousness is reduced.

Keys to Stop Relying on Alcohol

  • Connection – Johann Hari said in his TEDx talk that the opposite of addiction is connection. When we don’t have connection with others, we connect to alcohol or other substances instead.
  • Communication ­– Talking openly and honestly with those close to us keeps relationships healthy. Make yourself vulnerable so that you can be helped and help others.
  • Join a Tribe – Men thrive in packs. Don’t isolate yourself. Find a group of likeminded men that you can join for support.

How an Alcohol-Free Life Affects Each of Us as Fathers

Jason MacKenzie

Jason can make himself vulnerable and open about his experiences. He shares them with his children so they can make more informed choices.

Shane Ramer

Shane has found peace in the ability to give up control of everything and everybody. He is present with his family, listening and talking and being willing to put the work in.

Ruari Fairbairns

Ruari says don’t pay for counseling if your relationship is in trouble; just drop alcohol. When you’re drinking, you always point the finger at someone else and adopt a victim mindset. Now Ruari enjoys a rich life with his family and likes to be with his kids on their level, which he could never do when he was numbed by alcohol.

Larry Hagner

Your habits set an example for your kids. They do take notice about how you behave when you drink, and they will notice how much better it is to be with you when you are sober.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


 Guest Links

Ruari Fairbairns

Oneyearnobeer.com

Shane Ramer

Thatsoberguy.com

Jason MacKenzie

Thebookofopen.com