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How Giving Up Alcohol Will Revolutionize Your Life with Ruari Fairbairns

How Giving Up Alcohol Will Revolutionize Your Life with Ruari Fairbairns

Ruari Fairbairns from One Year No Beer is back to talk about his relationship with alcohol before and after he gave it up. In this episode, you’ll learn how giving up alcohol will revolutionize your life mentally, physically, and socially. You will also be given the tools you need to control your drinking with confidence and inspire people around you.

BEFORE ALCOHOL-FREE LIVING

Ruari Fairbairns was twelve years old the first time he got drunk. He saw adults do it and copied them. As he got older, he became the center of the party and the last man standing at the end of the night.

Ruari says he doesn’t think he had a bad relationship with alcohol. He didn’t drink alone at home. He never felt he needed it, but alcohol was part of his lifestyle, his career, and his social life. Even when he met his wife, they partied hard together.

But when it came time to start a family, it caused friction in his life. Ruari went out to binge drink two times a week, and his wife wasn’t happy about him coming home at four o’clock in the morning.

At first, he couldn’t see a way around living without alcohol. Alcohol was part of entertaining his clients. Drinking was part of being a man. Then Ruari became involved in an anger management program where he learned that caffeine and alcohol were the two biggest instigators. It was then that he decided to quit drinking for ninety days.

Ruari says that during that 90 days his whole life changed. A fog had been lifted away. He felt excitement and passion for life again. His ADHD and depression where gone. He couldn’t believe something so simple as not drinking could have such a profound effect on his life.

He decided to keep going and went two years without alcohol. Now his mission is to help others experience a more productive and fulfilling life without alcohol.

MOST PEOPE THINK “THIS IS GOING TO SUCK”

The fears most people have about quitting alcohol is that they will be bored and socially excluded. They’re thinking, No one’s going to like me. How am I going to have a good time? How am I going to go out with my wife and not have a cocktail?

But Ruari says that everything you’re thinking right now about why you can’t quit is bullshit. You’ll realize that when you get past it. Think back to when you were a kid. Did you need alcohol to have a good time? To stay up and play all night

ONE YEAR NO BEER

The One Year No Beer challenge educates people on how to exist and survive without drinking for 30 days to 90 days and beyond. The strategy is not to hide away. It’s to change your relationship with alcohol by creating new neuropathways in your brain.

Key to this thing is tribalism. One of the reasons people react negatively when you stop drinking because you are appearing to leave the tribe. People are made to question their own habit and that makes them fearful.

You are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you’re hanging around friends who drink, chances are you will be dragged into it. One Year No Beer builds a tribe for you so you have support while you’re doing the challenge. They have video groups, a Facebook group, and a forum community. They send daily emails and have courses. You’re able to belong to something while you step away briefly from your own tribe until you are strong enough to be among people who drink again.

DRINKING AND YOUR KIDS

As parents, we must lead by example. You can say what you like to your kids, but they will follow your actions before your words.

In the US 11% of alcohol consumed is by 12 to 20-year-olds. 90% of this consumption is in the form of binge drinking. It has been shown that young people who start early drink more heavily and more frequently than those who delayed their first drink. We know our kids are modeling our behavior. That is why it’s especially important for dads to set a good example by not relying on alcohol.

YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Many people feel like they need alcohol to bond with their spouses, but drinking actually kills your relationships. So many fights and arguments are triggered and spiral out of control when alcohol is involved. Going out and drinking together doesn’t build a long-term sustainable relationship.

Ruari says that step one for couples in distress is 90 days without booze. You can’t face any problems when you’re numbing yourself. You can connect on a deeper level when sober.

MONEY

Have you ever added up the money you spend on alcohol? Not just cost of drinks, but the taxis to drive you home, the junk food you consume when your drunk, the price of the inevitable health consequences. Saving money is one more reason to take on a One Year No Beer Challenge.

THIS IS NOT FOREVER

Ruari decided two years was enough abstinence for him. Sometimes he drinks, but in total control. One Year No Beer challenges put control back in your hands so you can choose when you want to drink and when you don’t want to.

JOIN THE CHALLENGE!

Join the Good Dad Project community in a 28-Day Alcohol-Free challenge and rewire your brain so that YOU are in control of your drinking. Your family, your career, your liver and your pocket will thank you!

You’ll get

  • daily email support
  • daily motivational videos
  • support and accountability on the go

Go to oneyearnobeer.com/gdp and get signed up for 20% off.

Don’t worry if you’ve caught this episode later. This discount will always be available for GDP listeners.

 

Mentioned Episodes: 

The Life Lessons Learned from Going One Year Without Drinking

How to Conquer Alcohol Addiction with Ruari Fairbains


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Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Ruari Fairbairns’s Links

Oneyearnobeer.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

 


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going one year without drinking

The Life Lessons Learned from Going One Year Without Drinking

Alcohol has affected everyone in some way. We drink to reduce stress, to be more social in social settings, and to reward ourselves after a long, hard day at work. But what if drinking is actually bringing more stress into our lives? What if it’s causing us to miss business opportunities and is harming our relationships?

You’ll discover amazing insights into these questions in today’s podcast as I celebrate a whole year without drinking with three special guests who’ve all decided to live alcohol free. We discuss our experiences with alcohol, what kind of drinkers we used to be, what we didn’t see in our lives when we were drinking, and how our work lives, or social lives, and our family lives were dramatically improved when we took alcohol out of the equation.

Today’s Guests

Shane Ramer

Shane is the host of That Sober Guy podcast, where he discusses alcoholism, addiction, and recovery, and provides a platform for guests to speak their mind, tell their story and share their experience.

Ruari Fairbairns

Ruari grew up on the Isle of Mull in Scotland, and is a successful broker in London. After a few failed attempts, Ruari quit drinking and it fundamentally changed his life. Together with a colleague they decided to create something to change the peer pressure around giving up drinking, One Year No Beer.

Jason MacKenzie

Jason is an expert on peak human performance. He’s a father, speaker, author and coach, and the author of The Dadly Book of Open. He teaches audiences around the world how cultivating vulnerability will liberate the strength, wisdom and courage we already possess.

What was keeping us from quitting drinking?

Whether you’re a social drinker, a daily drinker, or a binge drinker, most of us are afraid to give up alcohol because of one or more of the following reasons.

  1. Fear of job issues – drinking is part of the corporate culture of many jobs.
  1. Fear of social awkwardness – how is it remotely possible to have fun without alcohol? Will we become a dull, boring person?
  1. Fear of losing friends – are we going to make other uncomfortable when we refuse to drink with them?
  1. Fear of anxiety – how do we cope with the stress of everyday life without the comfort of alcohol?

The Reality of Quitting Drinking

Shane, Ruari, Jason, and I debunked all these fears. Here is what we noticed when we gave up alcohol:

  1. Fear of job issues – productivity multiplies, business relationships improve, success is inevitable.
  1. Fear of social awkwardness – It was awkward at first, but we discovered that you don’t need alcohol to have a good time and you can connect with people on a deeper level when you’re not drunk.
  1. Fear of losing friends – Don’t make a big deal of not drinking. Other people will get used to it, and most don’t care as much as you think.
  1. Fear of anxiety – Alcohol increases anxiety. It can make you paranoid about how your drinking habits appear to others. It creates stress because you’re not being your best, authentic self.

Other Benefits of Giving Up Alcohol

  • Find out who you really are – Without alcohol to numb your feelings or weigh you down, you discover your authentic self and what you’re truly capable of.
  • Stop holding yourself back – Quitting drinking frees you from self-limiting and self-destructive beliefs and habits.
  • Exponential improvement in fitness results – Living a sober lifestyle reduces your caloric intake, makes life easier on your organs, and allows you to maximize workouts since you’re not hungover.
  • Increased confidence – Knowing you can deal with life without relying on alcohol is extremely empowering.
  • Feeling more relaxed – When you feel that you are more productive and capable, that your relationships are on the right track, and that you truly know yourself, stress and anxiousness is reduced.

Keys to Stop Relying on Alcohol

  • Connection – Johann Hari said in his TEDx talk that the opposite of addiction is connection. When we don’t have connection with others, we connect to alcohol or other substances instead.
  • Communication ­– Talking openly and honestly with those close to us keeps relationships healthy. Make yourself vulnerable so that you can be helped and help others.
  • Join a Tribe – Men thrive in packs. Don’t isolate yourself. Find a group of likeminded men that you can join for support.

How an Alcohol-Free Life Affects Each of Us as Fathers

Jason MacKenzie

Jason can make himself vulnerable and open about his experiences. He shares them with his children so they can make more informed choices.

Shane Ramer

Shane has found peace in the ability to give up control of everything and everybody. He is present with his family, listening and talking and being willing to put the work in.

Ruari Fairbairns

Ruari says don’t pay for counseling if your relationship is in trouble; just drop alcohol. When you’re drinking, you always point the finger at someone else and adopt a victim mindset. Now Ruari enjoys a rich life with his family and likes to be with his kids on their level, which he could never do when he was numbed by alcohol.

Larry Hagner

Your habits set an example for your kids. They do take notice about how you behave when you drink, and they will notice how much better it is to be with you when you are sober.


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


 Guest Links

Ruari Fairbairns

Oneyearnobeer.com

Shane Ramer

Thatsoberguy.com

Jason MacKenzie

Thebookofopen.com


 

 

 

 

ruari fairbains

How to Conquer Alcohol Addiction with Ruari Fairbains

Ruari Fairbains, founder of One Year No Beer, comes on the GDP Podcast to challenge us to take a plunge into the uncommon world of 100% sobriety for one year.

 

Pumpkin spice beer, ale, hard cider, even Pumpkin Spiced Baileys Irish Cream are in full production and it’s the time of year when liquor manufacturers really make their holiday drinking push. Holiday parties, family gatherings and work functions seem synonymous with alcohol consumption during this season, in particular. Maybe you’ll even hear a couple stories about how things got out of hand at the office Christmas Party because Bob in accounting had one too many Jack and Cokes (sorry if your name is Bob and you’re in accounting).  But what if we made just “being” synonymous with these events? What if being sober was cool and drinking went by the wayside? Whoa, you say? Don’t take my beer, man, it’s how I get through this time of year!!

The increasingly popular podcast, One Year No Beer, challenges people to do just that: leave the booze behind for just 90 days. In this 90 days, forgo any type of alcoholic beverage and see what changes occur.

Better Health

The common thread in those who choose not to imbibe is better health. No alcohol equals no beer gut, better sleep habits, better sexual health and better health overall. Not to mention, you become more alert.

Better Employee

Those who have taken the challenge find they have a better focus at work. Better focus equals better job performance, leading to possibly better positions in the workplace. Think about having a more pleasant work experience simply because YOU feel better.

Ruari Fairbains on Better Family Time

Removing alcohol also opens you up to becoming more present with your family. Your mood will improve (let’s face it: alcohol alters our brain chemistry no matter how little or how much we consume). When you are better mentally, those around you will take notice and you will have more pleasant experiences with those you love.

Be the Example

Your kids are watching. You know this. When you handle tough social situations with alcohol, even if it is simply social drinking, your kids witness this. In their minds, alcohol equates to social situations because mom and dad use it during these times, even if it’s just a glass of wine to wind down. But if we change that paradigm and make other things synonymous with social situations, our kids will begin to see these differences as well. After all, they will learn how to behave from their parents.
So, even during this lovely fall season of Pumpkin Spiced Everything, maybe opt to remove the alcoholic version of this seasonal favorite. Instead, replace it with other events that get your endorphins going: take time out to laugh with those you love, get a bike ride in, take your clients to dinner and have a good time without the wine. You just might see that being with people without the filter of alcohol is just that much better.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ruari Fairbains and One Year No Beer

Ruari Fairbains ONE YEAR NO BEER SITE

Ruari Fairbains ONE YEAR NO BEER PRIVATE FB GROUP

 

Thank you for checking out this week’s show with Ruari Fairbains, founder of One Year No Beer.

Shane Ramer

Overcoming Addition and Becoming a Dad with Purpose with Shane Ramer


Shane Ramer, founder and host of That Sober Guy Podcast, comes on the GDP and shares an extremely raw interview on addiction, substance abuse, recovery, and being a dad with purpose.  Brace yourself for this amazing interview with Shane Ramer.

It’s the elephant in the room. Everyone knows it’s there, but no one wants to say anything; better to keep the status quo than rock the boat. No one knows what will happen if the boat is rocked and that is scary. At the same time, we hate the elephant; it is destroying our family, our other relationships and possibly our job. The elephant is addiction and addiction is hard to admit. Shane Ramer, founder of thatsoberguy.com, knows this reality all too well.

 

Shane Ramer’s Childhood and Background

Growing up, Shane turned to alcohol to soothe the pain he endured dealing with a troubled childhood. As he became an adult, Shane realized that he was using alcohol to escape life’s realities and soon came face-to-face with the fact that his own marriage was struggling because of it. He hit a wall. He could not longer stand the elephant in the room. With that, he sat down with his wife and said he needed help. Shane knew he was meant for something much more than where he was.

 

Going through intensive counseling and support from his family and friends, Shane learned to manage his life as an alcoholic. Knowing that he wasn’t the only one struggling, Shane started thatsoberguy.com in order to help other men struggling with similar issues. Today, Shane is a successful businessman, husband and father, dedicated to helping men voice their fears that keep them in the bonds of addiction.

 

But I’m Not an Addict

 

We’re not saying you are, but the lessons Shane discusses reach to all men. Society is great at telling boys that real men don’t cry, “suck it up” and never show emotion. So what do you do with all that pent-up emotion? Maybe you already have a healthy way of showing emotion, or maybe you need a little liquid courage to loosen up or just maybe you can’t get to work in the morning without your daily beer. Wherever you are on the spectrum, the learning to deal with fears and emotions without bottling them up will make you and those around you much happier.

 

It’s Ok to Talk About It

 

Again, we men are great at helping others solve their problems. That’s what we think we are here for. Our own problems? What problems? Oh! You mean the ones we don’t talk about? Well, we’ll be fine. Will we? Take a look at your own life and think about areas where your bottled-up emotions eat away at your true self. What is the worst thing that is going to happen if you talk to someone about your issues? You actually may deal with them? Whoa. What about your Man Card? Guess what, it’s safe and secure and probably in better condition than it was when you kept your fears and feelings to yourself.

 

Be A Man

 

Being a man means owning up to all areas of our lives. Even our fears. Showing up as the best dad, husband, employee and friend takes guts. Owning our issues takes even more guts and grit. You’ve got it in you, so be the best man you can be right now.

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Shane Ramer:

Shane Ramer Twitter

Shane Ramer Website

Shane Ramer That Sober Guy Podcast

Shane Ramer Private FB Page (invite/request entry only)

jack canfield

How to Accelerate Personal Achievement and Life Fulfillment with Jack Canfield

Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul as well as a new book, 30 Day Sobriety Solution, gives a fresh perspective on this sometimes difficult balance,

“Every life has its benefits and costs and once you realize that, you get out of jealousy and resentment.”

-Jack Canfield TWEET THAT

Jack Canfield on Resiliency

So, maybe you didn’t have the best childhood, or maybe you grew up with every privilege under the sun. It really doesn’t matter. It’s really all about how you come out of the situation and how you respond to the situations you’ve been through. Through this, you provide your children with the ultimate example of resiliency and success.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”- Khalil Gibran.

Wow. Such an impactful statement, but one that might be hard to put into practice. We want so much for our children to have the best of everything that we sometimes lose sight of our role in their lives. Sometimes we forget that our children are their own person, not a smaller replica of ourselves. In not understanding this difference, we may try to put our children in activities or situations we wish we would have had for our own childhoods.

Jack Canfield on Intention

But, it’s also about having the intention and willingness to put in the time. Jack had regrets and guilt in parenting, but he was able overcome those feelings because he knew he had to be the best example as a father. He knew he had to love each of his children individually. There’s a lesson here: you’ve got to love each child the way they want to receive it, not the way you want to give it. Accept your child for the person they are, not for whom you want them to be. Sometimes we try to turn our children into the children we wished we could have been or have the opportunities that will make us look like good parents. You have children; you are not your children. You have to let them be themselves.

Correcting Behavior and Praise

When children make mistakes, instead of constantly correcting them for what they have done wrong, point out what they have done right. Leave it there. Then, when they attempt the same task again, praise what they did the time before and then give a suggestion regarding the part of the task they need to correct. If you have young children, be careful with how you approach moments where they fail and succeed. Between the ages of 3-8, Jack says, research indicates that their self esteem is at its most vulnerable. Granted, during their entire childhood children are building their self worth, but it is these years that seem the most critical.

Jack Canfield and The 30 Day Sobriety Solution

But being the best parent for our children stems, as we’ve seen so many times on the GDP, from how we respond to challenges in our daily lives. Jack approaches this in his new book, 30 Day Sobriety Solution. You may not be an alcoholic, but Jack says in his book that even when we are casual, social drinkers, we still may be using that glass of wine or a beer to “wind down” or “take the edge off.” You may even find that when you have that drink, you aren’t really present for those you love: you’d rather fall asleep instead of reading your child that bed time story after the simple glass of wine (or two). Maybe you question how you’ll enjoy a night out without that one drink, or how you’ll get through that social work setting without the beer. But as Jack points out and his book addresses, there may be some underlying factors we may be covering with that drink.

It’s about being your BEST SELF

It’s really about being your best self in all aspects of your life-putting down a drink may just be one of them. Jack’s advice? Be as committed to being a great dad as you are to your job, your hobby or other things you find important. If you want something different, you have to do something different. The choices you make and actions you take today determine your outcomes for tomorrow.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

The Dads Edge Book

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Jack Canfield Links:

Jack Canfield Website

The 30 Day Sobriety Solution

Jack Canfield Facebook Fan Page

Jack Canfield Twitter

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Thank you for checking out this episode with Jack Canfield.  This episode is one to remember!