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bret johnson

Being a Coach, a Dad, and Raising Strong Daughters with Bret Johnson

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Bret Johnson knows being a dad.  He knows being a coach of youth sports.  He knows how to raise a confident strong daughter.

Bret Johnson

Bret Johnson is the driving force behind Team Johnson.  He runs the all of the day-to-day management of the business, in addition to business strategy, event planning, management, and logistics for any Team Johnson or Chalene Johnson appearances.  He negotiates all contracts, handles all sponsors and partner relationships, and coordinates and communicates with all who are a part of the Team Johnson Affiliate Program.  In addition, Bret works one-on-one with a small hand selected group that he coaches on personal, spiritual, and business development.  Bret is the former owner and CFO of Powder Blue Productions as well as the Turbo Wear clothing line that he and Chalene created together. He has also built and sold several multimillion-dollar fitness and lifestyle companies.

Bret Johnson began his career as a Quarterback at UCLA and Michigan State University, and later finished his career in the CFL with the Toronto Argonauts and Atlanta Falcons.  Bret has preserved his love and passion for football by coaching High School Football at Mission Viejo High School with his father and brother.

Bret will be the first to tell you that his greatest accomplishment is raising two amazing kids.

It’s a Girl’s World

Let’s face it: there are definite differences between raising boys versus girls. Beyond the stereotypical pink versus blue, girls are just made differently. They typically have different interests than boys and they respond to stimuli differently. A girl’s world can be complex and helping your daughter navigate these waters as a father can seem overwhelming. But, there is hope; after all, even though she may sometimes seem other-worldly, your daughter is human.

The Basics

Just like sons, daughters need to feel love and validation from their fathers. Remember dads, the relationship your daughter has with you will create the foundation for the relationships she has with other men in her future. Reinforce how much you accept her for who she is, her interests, and the fact that you will always be there for her. She needs this, particularly in the world children will live in as adults.

 

Social Media

At no other time in history has it been easier to find out who is doing what and when, what the latest diet fad is, who is the hottest celebrity, and, maybe most frightening, bullying. And that’s where girls can be hit the hardest, right on line. It’s easy to make fun of others behind a screen and say hurtful things, demean another’s character, or even more devastating to a girl, criticize her appearance. Dads, here is where you can play a vital role, be active in her online media life. Yep, let her know you are watching what she is doing, not so much that you are concerned with her behavior, but how others interact with her. And, if necessary, model positive online behavior and communication so that she can see how to best represent herself to others in this media.

 

“Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat?”

 

Even in an age where a variety of body types are getting more positive media coverage, the skinny models still barrage our girls in the checkout lines of every store. It seems that no matter what they hear about their image, girls still want to look like what they see in the magazines. Your job, dad, is to remind her that those models are airbrushed and that skinny is not always healthy.

 

Be Proactive

Dad, it’s not as hard as you think. She’s your daughter, she loves you and she is looking to you to see how to respond to men in a positive way. Raising a strong daughter means that she feels comfortable in her own skin, she can communicate effectively with all people and that she has the courage to pursue her own passions. Don’t worry, you won’t break her; she’s tougher than you think!

 

Resources:

REGISTER FOR “THE DRIVEN FOR EXCELLENCE SUMMIT”  Register ==>HERE<==

Driven for Excellence Summit Flyer

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Bret Johnson:

The Hangry Chef

Bret Johnson Facebook

Bret Johnson Website

Bret Johnson Twitter

Thanks for checking out this week’s episode with Bret Johnson on Raising Strong Daugthers

overcome obstacles

Have More Confidence and Overcome Any Obstacle


Overcome Obstacles with relentless determination!  In this episode, I go over three critical ways to develop more confidence, more self-esteem, and more emotional resiliency!

 

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

courage

How to Feed Your Courage and Starve Your Fear

COURAGE is something every dad needs more of…the question becomes:  “How do we develop more of it?”

We can’t out run stress. It’s simply a fact of our daily lives. The idea that we “eliminate” stress from our life sounds great, but that means cutting out the parts that are most meaningful. Think about it: the parts of our lives that make us who we really are come from areas that bring stress: our work, our kids, our significant others. These aren’t “bad” stressors, but they are part of our lives. It’s not a matter of cutting these areas out, but a matter of how we handle them.

 

Always Darkest Before the Dawn

 

Truth. All too often, we get caught up in the negativity of our circumstances and fail to see what good might actually come out of them. Our mind will take us where we lead it. If we choose to ask questions like “why did this happen to me?” or “what did I do to deserve this?” we certainly will find ourselves at the end of a self-destructive spiral of pity and self-loathing. Yuck, we’ve all been there. But, if we choose instead to view a circumstance from a state of abundance instead of scarcity, we just might see that our “negative” circumstances have a lot to teach us.

 

What are You Feeding?

 

Our attitude about stress is all about what we choose to feed: fear or courage. We’ve talked about feeding the Fear or the Courage Wolf before and this is exactly what we have been encouraging. Choosing to nurture the Courage Wolf through affirmation statements gives us the strength to get through the circumstance and persevere. Whereas feeding the Fear Wolf only strengthens our stress, making us anxious and eventually paralyzing us from taking any positive action.

 

Choosing the Statement

 

It doesn’t have to be complicated. A simple phrase like, “I’ve got this” in moments of even the greatest doubts will trigger our minds to think in a state of positive action. Navy Seals even use these statements to get through their most difficult moments in training and the field (see the Mark Divine episode for more!). Like anything in life, how we confront stress is how our mind and body will respond. What it boils down to is the fact that we simply don’t give our minds enough credit for what they are really capable of.

 

It’s About the Questions

 

And what it also comes down to are the questions we ask ourselves. Really, how positive is it to ask ourselves, “what did I do to get here?”. After this question, your mind will tell you EXACTLY what you did to get “here”. Because our minds go where we ask them to go, we tend to lead them down a negative path with this line of questioning. A better, more positive question might be, “what can I learn from this event?”. Through this type of questioning we will find ourselves better poised to handle whatever the stressor might be and learn from it for the next time around.

 

We’ve just touched the surface here. Knowing that we, as men, face the societal challenge to be strong and unbending, we tend to shy away from anything that others might perceive as “weak”. But instead of suffering in silence from these stressors, learning to reprogram how we deal with them will only strengthen our relationships and better our lives.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 THE FLOW CHART MENTIONED

courage

anger management

How to Master Anger Management

Optimal anger management as fathers must have been a much needed episode, because this past week Shawn and I launched Episode 58 – Five Ways to Control our Tempers as Dads.  The reason I say it must have been much needed is because it was one of our fastest downloaded shows to date.  We had more downloads by 10am then we usually get for the entire day on Mondays.

Throughout the week, I have seen a ton of feedback on the show and have heard the tips that really hit home the most to you guys.

Anger Management Tip #1:  Forget Perfection

First and foremost, we need to forget about being the perfect father, because in all honesty, it doesn’t exist.  Being a dad is extremely rewarding, but it is also a tough business.  As men, we take a lot of pride in providing for our families and sharpening our craft in the workforce.  We are wired to hunt and problem solve.  Being a father is a dynamic that constantly sharpened and we can be humbled at every turn.  Keep in mind, perfection is a myth.  If you want true happiness, focus on progress and not perfection.

 

Anger Management Tip #2:  Know your Triggers

Being proactive in our mindset will set us up for ultimate success.  Most of us men have the lowest amount of patience when we first wake up in the morning, come home from work, and right before bed.  Why is that?  In the morning, we are just trying to clear the cobwebs before taking on the day.  Not taking time to wake up 15-30 minutes early (before the kids) is like going for a 3 mile sprint without a warmup.  When we come home from work, we are usually exhausted, overloaded, and “hangry” (hungry and angry).  Late at night we are usually pretty spent, exhausted, the kids can be fighting us in every way possible to go to bed.

 

Solution for the morning

Get up early, shower, pray (if you are spiritual), meditate (if that is your thing), listen to a podcast (if you are more of an audio person), etc…you get it.  Do something for yourself to warm your mind and patience up.

 

Solution for the ride home from work

Grab a snack to get that blood sugar up and listen to something empowering (podcast, audiobook, your favorite workout music, etc).  The point is get the blood sugar in check and your mind in the right place.

 

Solution for late at night

Keep in mind that your evenings are meant to make the best memories, so don’t blow it.  Set the evening up for success by doing something (other than watching TV) as a family.  Also, spend time with each kid before bed (pray together, talk about the day, ask questions that bring our gratitude, etc.)  This will honestly propel your evening and experience into a new orbit.

 

Anger Management Tip #3:  Calm through the Breath

Even the greatest dads have bad moments.  We all have been moment no matter how hard we try.  We all have the knee jerk reaction when we blow up and explode.  After we react like that there is a ton of guilt, shame, and defeat that follows.  Want to know the secret to staying calm, cool, and collected?  Here it is:  you have to create some “mental space” between your knee jerk reaction and your response.  Meaning, think before you act.  We can all achieve this by doing the most natural thing that we do unconsciously…breathe.  We can use the breath to calm ourselves.  Three deep breaths is all you need in the heat of the moment to calm yourself just enough to respond versus react.  Go check out our interview with Mark Divine on How to Create an Unbeatable Mind – Episode 28, for more information on breath control.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s podcast on Optimal Anger Management for Dads.

temper

Five Ways to Control our Temper as Dads


Ah, Clark Griswold; the preeminent example of a father and husband with the best of intentions, but reaction challenged when it comes to dealing with life’s hurdles and controlling his temper. Of course he wants the best for his family: from great vacations to Wally World to finding the biggest Christmas tree. Unfortunately, on his quest to be the “perfect father”, he tends to respond in anger and frustration when things don’t go the way he plans. Sound typical? Ok, so maybe Griswold is a bit extreme (or maybe not), but you have more than likely had a moment or two when frustration has gotten the best of you. Larry and Shawn provide 5 easy ways to keep your anger and frustration at bay.

Your Temper and the “Perfect Father Myth”

Before we go any further, let’s dispel the “perfect father” myth; there is no perfect father, doesn’t exist. We’re human, have emotions and sometimes, those emotions get the better of us and that’s okay. As Larry says, “great fathers have bad moments”, it’s what you do in those moments that build your character and provide a positive example for those around you, specifically your children.

Controlling our Temper Means Knowing our Triggers

So, what’s a guy to do when it seems like the world is pushing all of your buttons? Know your triggers. Maybe it’s repeating yourself to get your kids to pick up after themselves or you’ve just come home from a full day of work and you are barraged with requests to help with homework and the kids. Whatever your triggers, identify them so that you can do what you need to do to prepare yourself ahead of time and following these 5 ideas might just help diffuse your response:

Temper Tip #1:  Breathe

Be able to take a breath. Not just that little hyperventilating breath, either. This breath needs to be a nice, long, drawn breath, enough to calm you and bring you back to a state of peace. It should allow you to reset yourself and prepare you to deal with the situation at hand in a rational manner.

Temper Tip #2:  Walk Away

Walk away. In the heat of the moment, our adrenaline may make us want to stay in the situation and argue. But cooler heads do prevail, walking away when we feel our blood boiling will keep us from saying things we may later regret. Not only that, walking away gives us a chance to get perspective on the situation. Adrenaline only muddies the waters.

Temper Tip #3:  Stay Active

Stay active. If there’s one concept that is driven home on a regular basis on the GDP, it’s the benefits of exercise and overall health. In the case of anger and frustration, physical activity can also help us to channel this aggression into something more positive. So, there’s really a dual benefit: your anger remains at bay and you stay fit!

Temper Tip #4:  Surround Yourself with the RIGHT People

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Enough said. You need a sounding board that has been through similar experiences and can give you either advice or a simple listening ear.

Temper Tip #5:  When you do Lose your Cool, Apologize

Finally, when you do lose your cool, apologize. Even if it goes against everything you feel like doing, an apology goes a long way in repairing a bridge that may be a little singed. Apologies disarm people and pave the way to build a relationship into a stronger force.

Forget about Perfection

Forget the “perfect father” myth. Let it remain just that: a myth. We are human, prone to the same emotions of all other humans; it’s what we do with those emotions that make us who we truly are.

Resources:

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

 

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s podcast on Five Ways to Control Our Temper as Dads.