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chris gardner

The Pursuit of Happyness with Chris Gardner

Today, our guest is Chris Gardner, New York Times and Washington Post Best Selling author of the critically acclaimed The Pursuit of Happyness, which has been translated in over 40 languages and became a popular 2006 film starring Will Smith.

The book was the story of Chris’s life, a way to project onto the world that everyone can do anything, no matter what the obstacles are, no matter what the adversity is, because we all embrace the Power of Choice. That’s what this episode is all about!

In our conversation with Chris Gardner, we will talk about how we can make powerful pivots in our lives when we are confronted with adversities. We go over how we can show up as more empowered and compassionate fathers than we ever thought possible, even when we’re dealing with everyday stress and obstacles in our lives.

We also discuss how his upcoming book, Permission to Dream, lays out a blueprint for building a dream-come-true life, even during uncertainty.

Chris Gardner

“The first and most important decision that I ever made in my life was that, my children would always know who their father was. Without knowing the names, circumstances, social or social conditions I consciously chose to break every cycle that I was born into. Child abandonment, Child abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, fear, poverty, and illiteracy. The second most important decision that I ever made in my life was that I would become WORLD CLASS as whatever I did in my life.”

Permission to Dream

A true fable, Permission to Dream is a timeless and timely manifesto for turning dreams into action—beginning right now.

At its heart, this book lays out a blueprint for building a dream-come-true life—even during uncertainty. Gardner delivers the secrets to achieving a prosperous career—from a method for identifying your ultimate dream to a playbook for becoming world class at it. His tools include the “new 3 R’s”—or the Rep, the Rap and the Rolodex—which reveal how to earn a stellar reputation, develop a rap for marketing yourself, and amass a Rolodex of rewarding relationships. No matter how much wealth you achieve, Chris notes, true success comes from enriching the lives of others—so all can still have access to the American Dream.

Toward the end, Brooke observes that in Atomic Time it’s never too late for anyone to reinvent themselves and change their fortune. Chris, hearing her, realizes what his next pursuit will be—to go back to high school and give permission to dream to the next generation of problem solvers and change makers.

What You’ll Learn

What His Childhood Looks Like

16:47

The first and most important decision that Chris ever made in his life was that his children would always know who their father was. Chris grew up with a stepfather constantly reminding him that he was not his father. Without knowing the names, circumstances, and social conditions, this decision allowed Chris to break all of the other associated links that he was born into, including child abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism, illiteracy, fear, powerlessness, and generational poverty.

Getting Through an Obstacle

21:50

You need to own your situation. Chris was reminded with the last conversation he had with his friend and mentor, Dr. Maya Angelou who was talking about struggle and how important it is to be mindful that there are people who came before us, who came up a steeper side of this mountain, carrying a bigger to heavier load, with little to no opportunity, but they kept going forward, onward and upward. And now, it’s our turn to experience and get through all these things.

23:45

As we go forward, we need to take baby steps. We take strides when the path is clear, when there’s no obstacles, no issues, and no challenges. But sometimes you need to take those baby steps in the dark. Part of taking that first step is embracing the joy that is yours, that has been presented only to you and the moment of the greatest darkness you have ever seen.

Meeting the Biological Father

34:24

Chris only met his biological father because of his son. Chris was reading this storybook where there are illustrations of a cow family with a mother cow, baby cow, and daddy cow, and as they were going through the story, Chris’ son gave his own interpretation and apply it in the human context of having both mother and father. That’s when Chris knew he needed to reach out to his biological father. The next time Chris saw his father was at his funeral.

The Blessing of the Curse

43:23

Chris’ stepfather showed him what Chris did not want to become. Because of what he has experienced with his grandfather, it made him strive harder to be the best for his children.

The Inspiration behind Permission to Dream

51:49

Since the day Chris’ granddaughter was born, the greatest gift that he ever got was the permission to dream. He also was motivated by his mother who told him every day that he can do or be anything.

53:06

Another big part of the book is Chris talking about the greatest export in the history of the United States is the American dream. And this ideal look that there’s a place where you could do or be anything that is the greatest export in the history of this country.

54:37

The biggest thing that we have to understand is that the American has changed. The biggest change is that because of globalization and technology, and that you’re competing with people around the world. While we are young and enjoying our time, it is important to know that the people that we are competing with are in someplace grinding. They’re studying, they’re practicing. They’re networking, they’re rehearsing their research.

 


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realistic positivity

The Power of Realistic Positivity


Let’s get real. It’s been hard to stay optimistic in these chaotic times and pretending everything is going to be okay is not going to solve our problems. But when we practice realistic positivity, we become more effective in our lives and create a ripple effect in the world around us.

Today’s guest is Christopher Wirth. He is the host of the No Quit Living podcast and the author of The Positivity Tribe.

Christopher talks about how positivity really works and gives us tactics to add more realistic positivity in our lives. He teaches us how to eliminate negative people in our circle and surround ourselves with a positivity tribe. Christopher also shows us how one act of positivity, one person at a time, will help you become a happier and more effective man, husband, and father.

Christopher Wirth

In today’s world there is much negativity flowing throughout social media. No Quit Living motivates and inspires their clients to never give up on themselves or their goals.​

Christopher is the host of the No Quit Living Podcast which has been rated as a top 50 Business Podcast on iTunes. Christopher is a sought after Keynote Speaker. Christopher began his coaching career as an AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) Basketball Coach, Collegiate Basketball Coach, as well as High School Basketball Coach.

Christopher lives in Greenwich, CT with his three children – Zachary, Emily and Mason. In addition to building and growing No Quit Living – Christopher also enjoys spending time playing sports, traveling, reading, and working out.

The Positivity Tribe

Experience the “Power of Positivity!”A story for anyone looking to implement a more positive attitude and approach in their life. Join us on this journey of turning life’s challenges into positive opportunities. Positive energy is contagious, and this book will inspire you to pay it forward. In a world focused on negativity this book encourages us fully embrace the idea that “We Rise By Lifting Others Up.” What if every single day we all tried to positively impact just one person?

What You’ll Learn

  • It’s easy to be happy when you’re successful. But what if things don’t go well?
  • Positivity keeps us from avoiding challenges.
  • Make the most of a challenging situation. Controlling the controllables.
  • You may not defeat the problem. Be okay with the fact that you won’t be perfect.
  • What you can give yourself so that you have a mental advantage? Preparation, knowledge, practice?
  • Strive for consistency, not perfection.
  • A positive attitude won’t get you everything, but it will get you more than a negative attitude.
  • Choose the right people to have in your corner. Get rid of the wrong people to make room.
  • Never give up. Don’t quit. You will get better and stronger.
  • Ask for help from your positive tribe.
  • Help your kids get this perspective.
  • Think about what your kids will say about you when you are not around.
  • Be a good person. Pay it forward to others.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

Why Every Man Needs a Rope Team

 


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Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

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noquitliving.com

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Lifequakes: Navigating Pivotal Times with Bruce Feiler


How are you handling all the change happening in our world? Homeschooling, job changes, financial challenges, social upheaval? We are living in tumultuous times, but our guest today tells us that we are in a constant cycle of transitions, and we can use major life changes as catalysts for huge growth that will serve us in the future.

Bruce Feiler is the bestselling author of Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age. He talks about these lifequake moments and how we can navigate through times of massive change. He tells about how we, as fathers, can apply this fluidity to our family dynamics. He also reveals the cyclical nature of our experience.

Life rarely works out the way we expect it to. Get mentally prepared to reap the most from transitions.

“Life transitions are a lifelong sport that no one knows how to play.”—Bruce Feiler

Bruce Feiler

BRUCE FEILER is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers; the presenter of two primetime series on PBS; and the inspiration for the drama series COUNCIL OF DADS on NBC. Bruce’s two TED Talks have been viewed more than two million times.

Employing a firsthand approach to his work, Bruce is known for living the experiences he writes about. His work combines timeless wisdom with timely knowledge to allow people to live with more meaning, passion, and joy.

For more than a decade, Bruce has explored the intersection of families, relationships, and well-being. THE SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES collects best practices from some of the country’s most creative minds. The book was featured on World News, GMA, and TODAY and excerpted in the Wall Street Journal and Parade. THE COUNCIL OF DADS describes how faced with one of life’s greatest challenges, he asked six friends to support his daughters. The book was profiled in PEOPLE, USA Today, and Time and was the subject of a CNN documentary.

A native of Savannah, Georgia, Bruce lives in Brooklyn with wife, Linda Rottenberg, and their identical twin daughters. For more information, please visit www.brucefeiler.com.

Life is in the Transitions

A pioneering and timely study of how to navigate life’s biggest transitions with meaning, purpose, and skill

Bruce Feiler, author of the New York Times bestsellers The Secrets of Happy Families and Council of Dads, has long explored the stories that give our lives meaning. Galvanized by a personal crisis, he spent the last few years crisscrossing the country, collecting hundreds of life stories in all fifty states from Americans who’d been through major life changes—from losing jobs to losing loved ones; from changing careers to changing relationships; from getting sober to getting healthy to simply looking for a fresh start. He then spent a year coding these stories, identifying patterns and takeaways that can help all of us survive and thrive in times of change.

What Feiler discovered was a world in which transitions are becoming more plentiful and mastering the skills to manage them is more urgent for all of us. The idea that we’ll have one job, one relationship, one source of happiness is hopelessly outdated. We all feel unnerved by this upheaval. We’re concerned that our lives are not what we expected, that we’ve veered off course, living life out of order. But we’re not alone.

Life Is in the Transitions introduces the fresh, illuminating vision of the nonlinear life, in which each of us faces dozens of disruptors. One in ten of those becomes what Feiler calls a lifequake, a massive change that leads to a life transition. The average length of these transitions is five years. The upshot: We all spend half our lives in this unsettled state. You or someone you know is going through one now.

The most exciting thing Feiler identified is a powerful new tool kit for navigating these pivotal times. Drawing on his extraordinary trove of insights, he lays out specific strategies each of us can use to reimagine and rebuild our lives, often stronger than before.

From a master storyteller with an essential message, Life Is in the Transitions can move readers of any age to think deeply about times of change and how to transform them into periods of creativity and growth.

What You’ll Learn

  • Why Bruce likes to switch up traditional gender roles in his household
  • What it means to have dads much more involved in parenting
  • Dads have a role that’s not right or wrong, just different.
  • The home is the safe space to air grievances.
  • Each day, ask your family:
    • What worked well in our family this week?
    • What didn’t work well?
    • What are we going to work on this week?
  • Tell your family that we are going to talk about our feeling no matter how painful it is.
  • Who should take the lead as the parent?
  • Moms and dads are fluid, and so are our roles.
  • A LIFEQUAKE is a huge change, voluntary or involuntary, but the transition is our choice and each individual’s transitions will differ.
  • In the ancient world, life was considered a cycle. Today we look at life as a linear path, but this is not accurate. Life is not linear. It’s not predictable.
  • We go through 3 dozen disruptors in our lifetime. One in ten is a massive life change that takes 5 years to get through.
  • Bruce talks about tools to navigate these periods when we feel scared, alone, frustrated, and helpless.
  • People who know more about family history do better in the world. Kids can better cope when they know to expect ups and downs.
  • The ascending narrative, the descending narrative, and the oscillating narrative.
  • Normalize transitions. They are not unexpected.
  • What can we ask ourselves and our kids to help them in the time of change?
  • Use rituals to be open to what’s to come.
  • Life is the story we tell ourself. Listen to the story in your head.
  • What happens when something goes wrong in our story? We have to rewrite our story on the fly. That’s what it’s all about. Add a new chapter about us going through this period and find what is constructive in it. Keep the story moving forward.
  • We each have a transition power and a transition kryptonite. What are yours?
  • We miss huge periods of growth if we turn away from transition. Don’t close your eyes when the scary parts start.

Don’t close your eyes when the scary parts start.—Bruce Feiler

RELATED EPISODES:

Transform Your Pain into Explosive Inner Growth

Weird & Wonderful Ways to Build Mental Resilience with Ben Aldridge

How to Lead Your Family Through Crisis

 


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Bruce Feiler’s Links

brucefeiler.com

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in awe and on fire

In AWE and On FIRE with John O’Leary


We are going to be in awe and on fire with this powerful show! Our guest not only overcame extreme adversity but has used it as an opportunity to grow and touch the lives of thousands.

John O’Leary is a speaker and the host of the Live Inspired Podcast. He is the bestselling author of On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. His new book is In Awe: Rediscover Your Childlike Wonder to Unleash Inspiration, Meaning, and Joy.

Today he talks about the horrific fire that burned nearly 100% of his body and how he turned it into a force to inspire. He tells us how the power of a father’s love can pull us through anything and how we as dads can be worthy examples for our kids. We also discuss how to regain our childlike wonder and curiosity to live a richer, more fulfilling life.

Are you ready to live in awe?

 

“You can be a victim or a victor.”

John O’Leary

John O’Leary has lived through worse than most can imagine.

At the age of nine, John was severely burned on 100% of his body. No one expected him to survive the first night. But he did. He then survived months in a hospital bed, dozens of surgeries, and years of therapy. Before his tenth birthday, John lost all of his fingers to amputation.

This wasn’t the end. John’s journey was just beginning. From this tragedy, John received the greatest gift – embracing the truth that regardless of our personal and professional challenges, we choose how to.

  • Navigate adversity through decision-making
  • Reveal a brighter vision for what’s possible
  • Live boldly to impact others

As a boy in that hospital bed, John could not have foreseen the amazing things he would accomplish. But his journey proved more empowering and rewarding than he could have ever imagined. It gave him strength. It fueled and drove him on. It provided hope. It taught him compassion and understanding, and it gave him a solid foundation for living.

Some call John a survivor, but he is so much more than that. John O’Leary is a beacon of hope, and he’s ready to share his message with you.

John now lives to share his story and to spark the stories of others living boldly, so that together we can forge an extraordinary future by finding the possibility in the present.

In Awe

There once was a time when we joyfully raised our hands to answer questions, connected easily with others, believed that anything was possible, and fearlessly jumped into new experiences. A time when we viewed each day not as something to endure, but as a marvelous gift to explore and savor—when we danced through our lives in awe of the ordinary moments and eager for the promise of tomorrow.

Unfortunately, that’s far from our experience today. Instead, we feel disconnected and jaded. Social media reminds us that we don’t measure up, and the mainstream media barrages us with constant negativity. Many of us find ourselves caught in a life of dogged responsibility and mind-numbing repetition. The daily struggle to earn a living has caused us to lose the sense of wonder with which we once greeted every day.

In his new book, bestselling author John O’Leary invites us to consider that it is possible to once again navigate the world as a child does. Identifying five senses children innately possess and that we’ve lost touch with as we age, O’Leary shares emotional, humorous, and inspirational stories intertwined with fascinating new research showing  how each of us can reclaim our childlike joy, and why doing so will change how we interact with the world.

In Awe reveals how we can regain that ability to see fresh insights, reach for new solutions, and live our best lives.

What You’ll Learn

  • Your kids are watching—not only how you handle success, but when we’re struggling. Give them an example that’s worthy.
  • The beautiful thing about tragedy is you come face to face with things that actually matter.
  • Life puts us in a storm every single day and a father’s love pulls us through.
  • Be bold enough to be real.
  • You can be a victim or a victor.
  • Kids constantly unleash meaning, inspiration, and joy.
  • Adults are less likely to climb, get back up when we fall, and move forward afterward.
  • Greatness is loving the one in front of you.
  • How COVID has been one of the most remarkable times of John’s marriage.
  • Adults endure the day, our relationships, waiting for vacation and missing life.
  • Kids are fearless and questioning. They want to know why.
  • Adults pursue happiness. Kids reflect it.
  • Getting back to a state of wonder.
  • Returning to childlike (not childish) behavior in the workplace
  • Think about the possibilities. What is now? What could be? And let’s go!
  • Go for the moonshot. Like Kennedy said, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.
  • Don’t ignore the taps on the shoulder life gives you.
  • Be open to saying yes.
  • Show kids generosity in action.
  • 5 million Americans attempted suicide.
  • Little steps can make a mighty difference. The best days are in front of you.
  • You are worthy, and you are enough. The more realize it, the more impact you have.
  • What you focus on grows.
  • If you’re trying to be a better dad, focus on the good. Track, record, celebrate and share.

Take the 21-Day In Awe Challenge!

MENTIONED EPISODES

How to Live INSPIRED an ON FIRE with John OLeary

The Seven Longest Yards with Chris Norton

COVID-19: How to Protect and Lead Your Family Through Crisis with Retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman


YNAB. You Need a Budget

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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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John O’Leary’s Links

johnolearyinspires.com

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adam schafer

The Highly-Evolved Father with Adam Schafer from MIND PUMP


Today we talk to a previous guest whose story about his father’s suicide is one of our top shows ever in the history of The Dad Edge. Adam Schafer from the hugely popular Mind Pump Podcast is back. He wasn’t a father the first time he was on the show, but now he’s the proud new dad to his one-year-old son Maximus!

Adam talks about how having a baby has changed his lifestyle and relationship with his wife for the better. He opens up about his struggles with empathy, trauma, and childhood insecurities. He also talks about manufacturing adversity for our kids so that they will build resilience and character.

You’ve never heard this side of Adam Schafer before. This show is full of insights that will take your fathering skills to the next level. Listen now!

Adam Schafer

Adam had a lot of adversity to overcome as a child. He lost his father to suicide at the age of seven and bounced around to nine different homes by the time he was seventeen. Adam was bullied in school which ultimately led to him being home-schooled.

In the midst of his childhood turmoil one constant in Adam’s life was his love for sports. He was a natural athlete who loved snowboarding, water skiing, basketball and anything else sports related. Adam’s love for sports led him down the path of learning about fitness and nutrition.

Adam got started with his career in fitness in 2001. His first entrepreneurial venture was as a child of ten so it seemed natural for Adam to become an entrepreneur in fitness. As a part of his ongoing quest to learn and grow in his career Adam has obtained certifications from top fitness training institutions. Adam has found a way to train and teach even more people through Mind Pump.

Adam found that combining his passion and expertise with that of his Mind Pump cohosts, Sal, Justin, and Doug, gives him the opportunity to make a big impact on the fitness industry.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to approach parenthood with intention instead of reaction
  • Will having a baby make you lose your identity as a couple?
  • Will you still find your wife attractive when she is pregnant?
  • Can sex actually be hotter after the baby?
  • Having a child brought Adam and his wife Catrina closer together.
  • As a couple, they knew that raising a new human being was going to change the awesome lifestyle they had created for themselves—dining out, going to sports events, traveling.
  • Even though they don’t do their favorite things anymore, they don’t feel like they’re missing out.
  • Marriage should not go on the back burner when the kids come. Your spouse must come before kids.
  • Most of us react based on the neurosis and insecurities we developed as a child. We must deal with unresolved anger towards our parents.
  • Be aware of displaying negativity as a couple in front of the kids. Do not react in front of the child. Show alignment.
  • There is always work to be done in a relationship.
  • Developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the key to evolving as a man and father.
  • We must make the choice to use trauma to become better instead of an excuse to be worse.
  • Why we have to manufacture adversity for today’s kids who have everything
  • Adam’s hacks on how to make sure you show appreciation to your partner.
  • Why Adam doesn’t say “I love you” without a deeper reason behind it.

MENTIONED EPISODES

When a Father Commits Suicide

Creating a Rite of Passage Experience for Your Son


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Adam Shafer’s Links

mindpumpmedia.com

Facebook

Twitter

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YouTube

iTunes

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

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