Posts

Breaking the Addiction Mindset

Breaking the Addiction Mindset

What’s your vice? What relieves your stress? What do you turn to when times get tough? Drugs, alcohol, women, validation, gambling, validation, food? Even a healthy habit like working out can be unhealthy if it’s used to avoid people and escape reality.

Addictive behaviors drain our energy, suck our time, and prevent us from connecting with those we love. They keep us from operating at our true potential. This show is about becoming aware of destructive habits and breaking the addiction mindset. No matter what vice you have, today we’ll give you new tools to crush it.

Everyone has a vice. What's yours? Are you ready to crush it? #addiction #vice #porn #drugs #alcohol #badhabits Click To Tweet

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.

CLICK HERE.


Links

Scott Swanson’s email

Stop Running Away: Break Free from Porn and Let God Do More in Your Life Than Ever Before

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

APPLY HERE!

the dad edge alliance

 


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

 

Video Game, Porn, and Social Media Addiction with Cam Adair

Dad Edge Alliance Q&A: Video Game, Porn, and Social Media Addiction with Cam Adair


Technology is changing our lives and habits more quickly than ever before in history. We live a life of instant gratification and constant entertainment. Smart phones, tablets, and computers enrich our lives in many ways, but they can also be overstimulating and keep us from interacting with the real world. What can we do for ourselves and our families to prevent video game, porn, and social media addiction?

We had Cam Adair on last week to talk about the epidemic of gaming disorder. This topic is so important and we as a society are just beginning to understand the implications. And it’s not just video games. Pornography and social media can alter our brain chemistry in the same destructive ways. We asked Cam back to do a live Q&A session with the Dad Edge Alliance so real dads could share their concerns about raising kids in the digital age.

'I realized that if I never quit gaming I would never do anything else.'—@camerondare #gaming #gamingdisorder #addiction #videogames #kids Click To Tweet

'...that’s tragedy in this technology conversation. We’re not giving these kids the opportunity to just be kids, to have to figure it out and learn how to play.'—@camerondare #kids #children #parenting #techonolgy Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • The immersive powers of video games and the internet
  • Why kids go into meltdown mode when you take their devices
  • How to give kids the chance to develop skills to interact with the environment and people around them.
  • Strategies to control technology use outside the house or when coparenting:
    • Develop relationships that make it comfortable to have the tech conversation
    • Come up with ideas of other things kids can do without technology
    • Inspire your kids to take charge of thinking of alternative activities to do with their friends
    • Controlling duration and frequency of screen exposure
  • How gaming can be a gateway to pornography addiction
  • The effect of violent video games on children’s minds
  • The shocking statistic: the first viewing of porn starts at the age of 8 and regular porn viewing begins at age 11
  • How porn, gaming, internet, and social media are all linked to digital addiction
  • The harmful sexualization of women in games and media
  • The structural brain changes that occur in regular gaming, social media, and porn
    • Numbed pleasure response
    • Hyper reactivity
    • Willpower erosion
  • The detox symptoms such as cravings, anxiety, boredom
  • Why binging makes the problem worse.
  • Why the lack of a father figure is a huge risk factor for violence
  • Why empathy is stunted by gaming
  • The dangerous myth that gaming friends aren’t “real” friends
  • How to regulate screen time when schools are pushing techonology
  • How to be intentional about screen time in your home
    • Being open and honest
    • Keeping devices in a visible, central area of your home
    • Taking conversations about technology outside the home and away from the computer
    • Apps that help regulate screen time
    • Getting a your kid a flip phone instead of a smart phone
  • Why you need to be okay about allowing your kids to go through the process of being bored
  • Why you shouldn’t use technology to engage with your kids
  • Why entertainment leads to entitlement
  • How to empower kids to take control of their screen time
  • How to keep your kid’s playful spirit and love of the outdoors
  • 3 things you need to do to be proactive about gaming and screen time
    • Be aware of you own emotional experience
    • Encourage your kids to create instead of consume. Programming, designing,
    • Take action when you see red flags. It’s so much easier to prevent it than to try to find a way to deal with it once it becomes a problem.
  • How to help boys specifically
'Playing violent video games doesn’t mean you’re going to be the next school shooter. It does mean that you’re being desensitized, and that can be a risk factor.'—@camerondare #gaming #gamingdisorder #violence #isolation Click To Tweet

 

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Cam Adair’s Links

gamequitters.com

Facebook Page

Facebook Group

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

video game addiction

Parents’ Guide to Video Game Addiction with Cam Adair


This is a hugely important episode. Video games are part of almost every kids life, but there is a difference between playing for fun and using them to replace real life. Games like Minecraft and Fortnite have become part of our popular culture and make up a large part of kids’ social lives.

According to the World Health Organization, video game addiction is now an official mental health condition. It changes a child’s brain chemistry and can lead to depression and isolation.

In this episode, TEDx speaker Cam Adair talks about his experience with gaming disorder. He also tells us why video games are so addictive, how to recognize the signs of video game addiction in our kids, and how parents can set healthy boundaries for gaming.

'Kids are always going to push your boundaries, but you have to stay firm. And especially for parents, you have to do your own emotional intelligence work yourself.'—@camerondare #gaming #gamingdisorder #videogameaddiction #kids… Click To Tweet

 

About Cam Adair

Cam was raised by a loving mother and father, but he always struggled with anxiety and depression. He used video games as an escape, and they provided him relief for a time. The problem was that escaping his mental health issues didn’t fix anything. Cam became so depressed that at nineteen years old, he didn’t feel like there was any point in continuing his life anymore. He wrote a suicide note and was going to kill himself that night.

Luckily, his friends invited him to go watch a movie. That was enough to distract him from his plans so he could think about what he was doing. He knew that there was a big difference between thinking about suicide and actually planning it. It was serious, and he went home to ask his father to get him counseling.

Cam still struggles with his issues but has found healthier ways to deal with them. He’s also founded GameQuitters.com, a resource for parents and teens on how to prevent video game addiction and how to detox from gaming to get back into a real, fulfilling life.

'The thing that’s always kept me alive is knowing my parents’ love and knowing that ending my life wasn’t just about me…'—@camerondare #dads #men #fathers #moms #mothers #parenting #suicide Click To Tweet

What You’ll Learn

  • That 13% of kids between grades 7 and 12 have reported a problem with game addiction
  • The negative impact on the brain every year earlier a child starts with games and screen time
  • How gaming prevents kids from developing the intangible skills they need
  • Why video games are entertaining and fun, but cannot fulfill us in life
  • The paradigm of instant gratification that makes normal life boring
  • The emotional needs gaming and tech fulfill
    • escape
    • social connection
    • measurable progress
    • certainty and purpose
  • How the stimulation of gaming far exceeds what you can get in real life
  • Why kids addicted to video games experience withdrawal
  • The 3 structural brain changes that take place during video game addiction
    • Numbed pleasure response
    • Hyper reactivity
    • Willpower erosion
  • How it takes 90 days for brain to come back to normal levels after quitting gaming
  • Which games are more addictive than others and why
  • The incorporation of ads, in-game offers, and gambling type games online
  • How kids face being a social outcast if they don’t participate in gaming
  • Is there a healthy way to game?
  • What can parents do?
  • The dangers of video game binging
  • Why you should let your kid get bored
  • How to help kids during transition phases during the day
  • How to talk to your child about video game addiction
  • Why knowing what you stand for as a parent will help your child
  • Why you should connect with other parents who share the same goals
'Parents need to live an inspired life to be an example to their kids.'—@camerondare #parenting #parents #moms #dads #children #kids #gaming #fortnite #minecraft Click To Tweet

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


Cam Adair’s Links

gamequitters.com

Facebook Page

Facebook Group

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

What Kind of Father Do You Want to Be?

What Kind of Father Do You Want to Be?


We have two choices when we become a dad. Are we going to be like our fathers? Or are we going to try to be different. Some men have a good sense of what a good dad should be by watching their fathers. Other men are trying to break a pattern of bad fathering, whether it be addiction, anger, or complete absence.

On today’s short show we have Dad Edge Alliance member Andy Nelson. He is a divorced dad who admits that he was not there mentally for his kids or their mother. He knew he had to break the pattern of his father’s parenting and began to proactively improve his relationship with both his kids and his ex-wife.

Andy tells us how he developed a framework to change his life and how he succeeded by focusing on his goals instead of running away from what he didn’t want.

'You have to embrace all your feelings. You won’t feel the extreme highs without the extreme lows.'—Andy Nelson #fatherhood #mentalhealth #menshealth #gratitude Click To Tweet

MENTIONED EPISODES:

How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop

Dad Edge Alliance Q&A – Gary John Bishop on Fatherhood

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

 

Like the show? Leave an iTunes review.

If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review.
We read reviews on the show every week. The next one might be yours!
Thanks for the support.


 Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


Hungry for more out of life?

Become a member of The Dad Edge Alliance

CLICK HERE!

Dad Edge Alliance


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

Tag us when you share on social media!

#TheDadEdge

Twitter @gooddadprojct

Instagram @good_dad_project

GDP 132 - Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Today we have Omar Pinto, host and founder of the wildly popular SHAIR Podcast. SHAIR stands for Sharing Helps Addicts in Recovery. He’s part of our Dad Edge Alliance and he’s also a friend.

“O” shares the heart-wrenching story of the son he had to give up. He also takes us through his insane addiction to cocaine and alcohol, and how he not only survived, but transformed into one of the most well-known voices in recovery today. This is a special episode you will not forget!

The SHAIR Podcast

Drugs and alcohol are one of the most popular topics on the GDP. Many of us drink alcohol –  some of us are social drinkers, some of us might drink a lot – we’re all over the spectrum, but we’re all curious if we’re depending on it too much. There also might be some recreational drug users in the community who may wonder if their life could be better without drugs, but are too afraid to ask for help.

Omar Pinto has a huge fan base and he’s changing lives. Every week The SHAIR Podcast broadcasts amazing life-changing success stories from addicts and alcoholics all over the world and shares their inspiring journey into recovery. He also manages a 100% private Facebook accountability group for active and recovering alcoholics and addicts. His passion and life’s purpose is to inspire people struggling with addiction to take that first step towards recovery, to show them that their life could be so much better and that there is a better way to live.

Omar’s Story

Came from a dysfunctional home. His mom was Jehovah’s Witness, but his dad left the religion and it became a constant source of tension in the home. His dad was explosive and he grew watching parents fight all the time. At one point, Omar remembers that they each had their own bedroom, and he thought that when he got older he would do the same. This was normal to him.

His dad’s side of the family were heavy drinkers, but no one ever said the word “alcoholic.” They were social drinkers, weekend warriors. There was never a wedding, birthday, or funeral where alcohol was not involved.

Omar had low self-esteem as a kid. He worried about how he looked, whether he was smart, and if he would ever be a good athlete. He was a C student who had no special talents. Worst of all, he had a difficult time trying to fit in because his mom was Jehovah’s Witness. He couldn’t go to parties or participate in holiday activates. He was isolated and lost. It’s no wonder that drinking appealed to him.

At the age of seventeen, he got a job at a steakhouse. He left with a fat stack of cash every night and it was party time. He had no goals or aspirations. He was attending college, but not getting anywhere. He was already living the dream – a career waiter. The fun he was having was irresistible. But he started to drink on the job and one day passes out and gets fired.

He spent five years in college and didn’t get a degree. He decided to move to LA and get into the mortgage business. This was before the recession hit, and he was making the bucks. He met a girl and started a volatile relationship. Dysfunction seeks dysfunction. Omar was always wanted to be the hero, so he attracted victims. Once he rescued them, he took them hostage. Omar says he was an angry person; anger protected him and kept him sharp. His girlfriend moved in, and they had serious fights. He would go to work with scratch marks on his face.

After multiple break ups and reunions, he finally said he’s done with her for good. He was free and finally ready to move on with his life. A week later, his ex-girlfriend called.

She’s pregnant.

Fatherhood Nightmare

Omar was distraught. He called his dad and cried to him, but instead getting a sympathetic ear, his father told him, “Stop crying and man up. You’re twenty-five. You have nothing going for you. You couldn’t finish college. You can’t hold a steady job. This is the best thing that could happen to you. This will teach you how to be a man.”

The tears just stopped. Omar put his head back, and said, “Alright, Dad.”

His pregnant girlfriend moved back in, and the nightmare continues. It was rough, but Omar pushed through. As soon as his son was born, she left him to stay with her parents.

A constant battle to see his son ensued. Each time he tried to make arrangements, she avoided him or put him off. He spent the next year trying to see him. Finally, he told her, “If you want, you take full custody and relinquish me of any financial responsibility.” That was the offer she had been waiting for. She never answered him, just sent the papers. He was done.

The Descent into Addiction

Omar was broken and in a serious depression, he never stopped thinking about his son. Then someone offered him an online casino job in Costa Rica. This is where he met his present wife and the drug that would lead him into destruction.

Omar was told that above all, he had to fit in. His contacts and partners were valuable to the business. When he met all his coworkers, he couldn’t believe what insane partiers they were. They had bars in their offices. They even smoked weed right there at work. Omar drank and got high at work every day, having the best time ever.

One night, Omar was falling asleep on the desk. All his coworkers were on the way to the casino, but he told him he was too tired to go. How did they have the energy to stay out all night? Then one of the guys offered Omar some cocaine. The clouds parted. The angels sang. Omar felt like it was the secret elixir of success.

But it doesn’t take long to degrade into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde situation. Omar’s problem skyrocketed. He regularly fell into coke-induced psychosis and paranoia, disappearing on binges and acting on insane delusions.

During the same time, he married his new wife and she was pregnant. But he couldn’t stop. One night, with his heart racing so fast he had to down booze and sedatives to prevent a heart attack, he hit an all time low. He got on his knees and prayed for God to take him out of this world or get him clean.

He woke up the next day, got in his car, and drove to his therapist. “I need help,” he finally said. The therapist new of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that was starting in an hour. Omar made it. He shared his story. The people surrounded him. That was the beginning his journey into recovery.

A Life of Purpose in Recovery

The 12 Steps radically changed Omar’s life. They allowed him to work through his father’s death and the unresolved situation with his son. Omar knew his story might inspire people to make the first step toward recovery. He created The SHAIR Podcast for those who are suffering from this disease who are hiding behind a veil of shame, those who are isolated behind a computer who just need one ray of hope and support to get started.

Thanks to the program that saved his life, Omar is still with his beautiful wife and his daughter who is now fourteen-years-old. He surrounds himself with people with the same values and principles. Fidelity, loyalty, and responsibility are non-negotiable. As painful as the situation with his son was, Omar says he wouldn’t be the man he is today or appreciate his family like he does today if he hadn’t gone through it. Now, it’s his goal to be the best dad he can be for his daughter.

Omar’s Dad Wisdom

If you are lost and haven’t quite found out how to communicate with your kids and be a good father, you have to view your circle of influence.

If you have sucky friends who are shitty dads, get rid of them. Find guys who are solid who care about their children.

 

If you’re struggling with drugs and alcohol and you’re afraid to ask for help, if you’re afraid to be found out, go to SHAIR Private Facebook group. You will be welcomed and surrounded with absolute love and support.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN.

 

Mentioned Episodes:

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

SHAIR 134: “DO EPIC SHIT” with Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project and The Dads Edge Alliance


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links

Omar Pinto

theshairpodcast.com

Facebook

Private Facebook Group

Twitter


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

Dad Edge Alliance