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From Trauma to Transformation

From Trauma to Transformation

Unresolved trauma from our childhood affects every part of our lives, but the only way to be free from the pain of the past is to face it. When we acknowledge that we’ve been hurt, we can heal ourselves from within by starting with a few, small, brave steps.

We warn you that today’s show may be disturbing for some listeners.

Longtime Dad Edge Alliance member, Kevin Gilroy, is the author of The Kid Upstairs, his story about overcoming trauma and sexual abuse. Kevin went through most of his life avoiding the darkness, numbing the unease in destructive ways. Now he is a new man, and courageously tells us how he finally confronted his childhood and carved his own path from trauma to transformation.

 

The Kid Upstairs by Kevin Gilroy

Becoming a father 3 years ago was the greatest accomplishment of my life. I was full of hope, happiness and gratitude that I was able to raise my daughter alongside my wife. This was the dream: to start a family.

It was soon after that the anxiety and depression hit — 27 years worth. Up until that point, I had pushed away dealing with my past: the loss of two brothers, sexual abuse before the age of 12 and coming to grips with my decisions thereafter.

I let these events dictate what happened next in life and it was time to face the music again. I had the choice to either face them head on or continue to live in my own shadows. I decided to finally face them, which is why this book exists.

The Kid Upstairs is my journey to re-write the narrative of the past from a negative to a positive. This is my own conscious reparenting to see the story from all angles, understand my part in it and then releasing the emotions attached to it. These chapters are my therapy sessions.

The book is not intended to be a self-help instruction manual for others to follow. Rather, it is a story of someone who felt like there were no answers left and — with the support of a few key people — was able to turn the table and step into a better future.

My goal in sharing this raw journal is to inspire other men to dig deep into their pasts and release the emotions tied to their own life-shaping events. Maybe there is healing to be found in writing a book, talking to a friend, seeing a therapist, all of the above or none of the above, but however you choose to acknowledge your story, you are not alone. Better days are possible. Here’s how I came to realize mine.

What You’ll Learn

  • The ways in which Kevin’s trauma projected onto his normal life
  • Kevin didn’t know that what he experienced was sexual abuse until he was an adult.
  • How his abuser normalized what he did to Kevin
  • Kevin numbed and isolated himself from a young age without really knowing why he was so angry
  • Kevin was one of 8 kids and his parents were unaware of his issues.
  • How Kevin took his healing into his own hands
  • The specific steps he took to address and recover from his trauma
  • What Keven’s life is like now as a husband and the father of two
  • How he forgave his abuser

RELATED EPISODES:

Making Peace with a Toxic Father

Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos

Why Should I Forgive? with Derek Stone


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Kevin Gilroy

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battling porn and sexual addiction

Going Deeper: Battling Porn and Sexual Addiction with Eddie Capparucci


Pornography has never been so unbelievably accessible, but what starts out innocently enough can eventually take over our lives. We know this is a huge issue for men today because our episodes on battling porn and sexual addiction top the charts.

Today we talk to an expert who has an approach to porn and sexual addiction that you haven’t heard before.

Eddie Capparucci is licensed counselor and the author of Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction. He tells us how men’s struggle with porn is linked to how we dealt with pain in our childhood. He reveals why too much porn can ruin our sex lives psychologically as well as physiologically. Eddie also gives us a step-by-step example of how casual porn consumption can descend into the destruction of a family.

Kids are being exposed to sexual content as young as 8 years old. Whether you are struggling with an addiction to pornography or not, this is a show every father needs to listen to.

Eddie Capparucci

Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS, specializes in treating sexual and pornography addictions. Among his many clients, Eddie has worked with professional athletes including NFL and MLB players and television personalities. He also serves as the clinical director for the National Decency Coalition, an organization working with state governments to help limit the access of pornography to minors.

In addition to being a prominent sexual and pornography addiction therapist, he has spoken to numerous organizations regarding the harmful impact pornography has on individuals, relationships, and society.

Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

If you have been battling a sex/porn addiction you understand how frustrating it can be to fail time and time again. This book provides a new and proven treatment method that will empower you to take control and finally manage your addiction. The key is understanding the road to recovery from a sex/porn addiction goes through your childhood. Why? Because it’s your inner child who is running the show. The Inner Child Recovery Process has proven successful with a large majority of clients in my counseling practice. It has changed the lives of many individuals who felt helpless and hopeless due to their addiction. And it can do the same for you. Endorsed by many leaders in the sex/porn addiction field, the Inner Child Recovery Process is a game changer and can be the solution you have been seeking when it comes to breaking free from your sex and porn addictions.

What You’ll Learn

  • Porn addiction really has nothing to do with sex or a lack of sex.
  • Eddie talks about his traumatic childhood and how he turned to sex and pornography.
  • He destroyed two marriages and left a trail of broken hearts.
  • What is attachment disorder and how does it affect our sexual relationships?
  • Most men he deals with lack emotional intelligence, which means they cannot tell what feelings they’re experiencing.
  • As men, when we learn to attach and bond with true intimacy, we don’t need the sexual stimulation and validation from pornography.
  • Being vulnerable is a skillset that boys aren’t taught.
  • We need to let our kids to feel emotional pain.
  • The road to recovery from pornography or any kind of sexual addiction goes back to childhood.
  • Negative events connect us to pain from the past.
  • We need to learn to identify core triggers.
  • The nine child-types, their different pain points, and accompanying triggers.
  • The dangerous mindset that you’re not hurting anybody when you consume pornography.
  • Porn from a young age is teaching boys that it’s okay to objectify little girls.
  • Girls get the message it’s okay to be objectified.
  • With regular porn use, a man will lose interest in his wife. He will find her less attractive and less sexually satisfying. He’ll look for more than she’s willing to give.
  • In almost 50% of men, pornography escalates into darker territory. The brain builds a tolerance and needs more extreme stimulation.
  • Men start to withdraw and distance themselves from family.
  • Physically, chronic masturbation has an effect on erection and ability to ejaculate.
  • How to recover from porn and sexual addiction:
    • Get some accountability.
    • Surround yourself in community
    • Own it. Fess up, at least to yourself
    • Sit down with someone to find out why you do it in the first place.
  • Advice to men when they are triggered to use porn
  • The disorder will not go away. Take action and learn to manage it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Everything Men Need to Know About Porn with J.K. Emezi

How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography with Kristen Jenson

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

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Eddie Capparucci’s Links

innerchild-sexaddiction.com

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Twitter

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transform your pain

Transform Your Pain into Explosive Inner Growth

All of us have endured some kind of pain in our past. We might not think about it, but we carry it through our lives, allowing it to contaminate everything we do. If we don’t acknowledge the pain, it will hold us back from reaching our true potential. But if we look at every rock bottom moment as an opportunity to learn, we can transform our pain into explosive inner growth.

Today’s story will blow your mind. Justin Schenck is creator of the wildly popular Growth Now Movement Podcast. He grew up in dark circumstances, with an addicted mother and a dad in jail. By all outward appearances, he was destined to fail in life.

But Justin would not give up. He shed his victim mindset and took charge of his future. In this amazing comeback story, he shows us that we all have the power to climb out of the pit of despair, generate our own happiness, and create the life we truly desire.

This is an interview you can’t afford to miss!

“Things are going to change and adversity is going to happen around you. That stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is the choices we make to create the better tomorrow for ourselves.”—Justin Schenck

Justin Schenck

Justin has been named a Top 8 Podcaster to watch in 2018 by INC.com and chosen as an ‘Icon of Influence’ in the new media space. What started out as a way to connect with top people and inspire others has become a way of life. Now getting played in over 100 countries every single week he is able to make a greater impact than he could ever imagine. He not only speaks to organizations on how to overcome adversity and utilize podcasting to grow your business but he helps others launch and grow their own podcasts. His vision? To teach the world how to live happy no matter where they are today. “It’s about the journey not the destination.”

“You have complete control over the outcome of everything in your life.”—Justin Schenck

What You’ll Learn

  • Why Justin says he would’ve been the least likely to succeed
  • Mom’s death after a 20-year opioid addiction
  • How he mended his relationship with his father who’d spent time in jail
  • Even though his parents could not get themselves together, Justin knew he was loved.
  • His upbringing taught him what he didn’t want.
  • Justin was introduced to self-development through a sales job.
  • He embarked on a life of constant learning, absorbing information, and finding mentors.
  • He realized that the pain that he went through could help people heal.
  • “Life is happening for me, not to me.”
  • Using rock bottom moments as an opportunity to learn
  • How to build a life you are truly happy living
  • No matter what’s happening, you have to take care of yourself first.
  • 3 Ways to Serve Yourself Every Day
    1. 5 minutes of mediation
    2. Learn something new every day
    3. Reach out to somebody who is dear to you and see how they are doing
  • What it’s like cohabitating with his girlfriend’s kids
  • Kids’ willingness to learn and to love
  • Bonding with children over shared interests
  • How to maintain a learning mindset when blending a family
  • How to love yourself through everything
  • Feel your emotions fully. Then move forward.
  • Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react.
  • Focus and what you can control.
  • It’s not going to be easy, but no matter what, don’t give up.
  • Whenever you hit a wall, focus on what you can do to improve yourself.

RELATED EPISODES:

The Good Dad (Human) Project with Larry Hagner on Growth Now Movement

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop

Frankie Edgar on Life Lessons from the Octagon

Defying All Odds with Anthony Trucks

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


Justin Schenck’s Links

growthnowmovement.com

GNM Live Event

Facebook

LinkedIn

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOK HERE

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EBOOK: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Follow The Dad Edge


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A Champion’s Uprising with Muay Thai Champion Chris Romulo

How do you learn how to make something of your life when you never had an example to follow?

Today’s guest knew he wanted to make a name for himself in the world, but he didn’t know how. Growing up with an unavailable, addicted father, he was filled with anger and took it out on those around him. But he says that we are all born with the champion spirit within. All we need to do is tap into it.

Muay Thai legend Chris Romulo returns to the show to share his story of a champion’s uprising. He talks about how he grew from a frustrated, depressed young man into a world-renowned fighter, and how he’s used what he’s learned in the ring to become the husband, father, entrepreneur and community leader he is today.

Chris Romulo

From the humblest of beginnings in Queens Village, Queens, it was Chris Romulo’s dream to make a name for himself. While he was physically present, Chris’ father was not emotionally or psychologically there for Chris or his family. This took a toll on Chris as he struggled with abandonment, depression, and bouts of anger. Watching his father struggle with a gambling addiction provided Chris the drive to achieve something greater for his life as he inched and clawed his way through his early years. But, it was a near death street fight that turned out to be the decisive moment that turned Chris to Muay Thai, setting him on a path to personal growth and success, in both the sport and life.

Muay Thai was the perfect outlet for Chris’ natural physicality. With this newfound passion, Romulo became a true pioneer of the sport in 1995. Despite limited opportunities to showcase his skills in New York City, his successes were many. Romulo was determined to learn and gain as much experience as possible training and fighting up and down the East coast. At the start of his career he racked up an impressive amateur record of 18-3-1(7), earning 5 WKA state and national titles.  His bronze medal performance at the 2004 IFMA tournament in Bangkok was the launching point for his jump to professional fighting.

In 2011, after an illustrious career in which he posted a remarkable pro record of 13-3 (10KO) and, his crowning achievement, earned the Professional North American Super Middleweight title in 2010, Romulo made the momentous decision to retire from fighting and pay his passion for the sport forward. Due to his successes in the ring, many of today’s young athletes grew up watching Chris, were inspired by him, and continue to look to him as a foundation of the East coast Muay Thai community.

The year 2009 was a pivotal year for Romulo in his desire to extend his reach beyond the ring. He decided to bring his passion and respect for the culture of Muay Thai to a more mainstream audience as he opened CROM Physical Culture in Rockaway Beach, Queens. Through CROM PC, Chris has been able to continue his work with the youth by partnering with the Muay Thai Preservation Project, offering scholarships to at risk youth for no cost. Romulo and CROM PC have helped shape and guide the lives of countless youth that have gone on to winning national Muay Thai championships, excelled in their education, and have become competent and confident individuals in their community.

Chris Romulo is a product of his resiliency and Muay Thai. In 2012, Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc to Rockaway Beach. Romulo and his wife, as well as many others in the community, lost everything. Their home and their business were destroyed. The entire peninsula was devastated. But, Chris’, and his wife’s, resiliency powered them through this time period. While living in a friend’s basement, Chris and his wife, Sarah, rebuilt their gym and became a central part of the Rockaway community as it tried to climb out of the hole that Sandy left. Today, CROM PC has a permanent home, incorporated new programming, and has a 300+ member community.

While reflecting on his 20+ years as a Muay Thai fighter and coach, Chris felt the need to increase his reach beyond the four walls of his gym and NYC to try to help change as many lives as possible.  In 2015, Chris began offering online training programs that focused on martial arts, fitness, and mindset. Chris’ projects in 2016 included creating the first ever World Muay Thai Summit, featuring superstars John Wayne Parr, Bazooka Joe Valtelini and Chris Algieri.

Champions Uprising

In May of 2017, Chris’ memoir, Champions Uprising, will be published. His story displays his unwavering mindset of determination, grit, and the perseverance of the human spirit. Chris Romulo grew up in a broken home. His mother Lucita, a Filipino immigrant, wanted Chris to go to college and live the American Dream. His father Carlito, also a Filipino immigrant, detached himself from the family and turned to gambling.

After a series of unfortunate events in grammar school, Chris took to the streets of Queens, New York, where at twenty years old a near-death street fight redirected his life and purpose. Chris then set off on a twenty-year journey through the study of Muay Thai, which took him from New York City to Bangkok, Thailand and back again. As a fighter, Chris went on to become the first professional North American Super-Middleweight Muay Thai Champion in 2010. But after retiring, Chris was forced to make one more comeback when Hurricane Sandy destroyed his home and gym in 2012.

Chris is convinced that struggle and setbacks can be the fuel to future success. He also believes that by understanding how the mind works, you can use your thoughts as weapons for hunting down your dreams rather than digging yourself into a hole. “Control your thoughts. Control your reality,” is a mantra Chris likes to live by. And he is eager to share his story with the world and uncover stories of “champions” of other industries, to show how we all have the tools inside us to overcome adversity when we tap into our fighting spirit. So while continuing to coach at CROM, Chris now motivates people outside of the gym’s four walls through public speaking.

“It all takes heart.”—Chris Romulo

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Larry Hagner on The Eight Count Podcast with Chris Romulo

Reversing Generations of Bad Parenting with 6-Time Muay Thai Champion Chris Romulo

The 4-Step Process to Build Unshakable Confidence

 


Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

What to do: send an email to support@gooddadproject.com notifying us about your review, your mailing address, and your choice of a guest book from our Books Page!

Thanks for the support!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


 


Chris Romulo

chrisromulo.com

The Eight Count Podcast

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alcohol-free

What to Expect When You Go Alcohol-Free


Are you concerned about your alcohol intake?

It’s the peak season for drinking. Many guys waking up with a nasty hangover will wonder what it would be like to give up alcohol for awhile.

But we worry.

Wouldn’t it be boring? What would our friends think? How would we relax at the end of the day?

Today we have everyday dad and alliance member, Darren Bellew on the show. After 35 years of drinking, he decided to try a 30-day detox. Once he reached that milestone, Darren experienced the benefits of being alcohol-free and just kept going.

More than a year later, Darren is still alcohol-free. Instead of feeling deprived, he has more energy, more time, better performance, and a deeper connection with his family. Darren has built a better relationship with himself, learning to solve his problems rather than putting them off by drinking.

If you’re thinking of taking a break from the beer and the booze in 2020, this episode will help you understand what to expect when you go alcohol-free!

“When you start to go alcohol-free, the biggest fear is losing that connection.”—Darren Bellew

RELATED EPISODES:

Changing Your Relationship with Alcohol with Ruari Fairbairns

How Giving Up Alcohol Will Revolutionize Your Life with Ruari Fairbairns

How to Conquer Alcohol Addiction with Ruari Fairbains

Sobered Up, So Now What? with Steve Galatioto


MUSHROOM COFFEE?

WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIIT(AKE)?

Four Sigmatic

gooddadproject.com/coffee


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Darren Bellew

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Email: darrenbellew66@gmail.com

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Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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What did you think of the show?

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Tag us when you share on social media!

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