Is there someone in your life that you are finding it hard to forgive. A sibling, friend, or parent? We all have grudges, but we don’t realize how much emotional and mental bandwidth they’re stealing from us.
Derek Stone is the author of Why Should I Forgive? He grew up in poverty and was sexually abused by his stepfather. His bitterness led him into drugs, alcohol, and dysfunctional relationships. But he found the faith he needed to forgive and move on. Now his mission is to empower people to transform their lives and walk them through the hell of confronting past trauma and teaching them to forgive.
Derek talks about his painful journey out of hate, anger, and shame and how the power of forgiveness can free us to create the full and happy lives we were meant live.
“For true forgiveness to happen, something has to die.”—Derek Stone
Derek Stone is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Stone’s Repair and Remodel, LLC. He’s been married to his high school sweetheart, Crystal for the past 17 years and together they have two boys: Ashton, 14 years old and Noah, 7 years old.
Derek came from humble beginnings and grew up in Section-8 housing located in Mobile, AL. Derek has a fraternal twin brother and was the youngest of 4 children growing up. His parents divorced when he was 5 years old and had to raise himself when his mom started working 3 jobs to keep the lights on. He moved to North East Mississippi at age 16 when his mother re-married for the 3rd time and started his life over.
He gives all the credit for his success to one decision he made while a senior in high school. He says, “I started looking back at my life to figure out what made me so different from my other three siblings. I chose to forgive my dad and not take the same paths my parents did. I blamed dad for every bad thing I went through as a child: from being sexually abused, going hungry (thank God for school lunches), to having to take cold showers because the power got cut off. I was very bitter as a teenager and wanted a better life, so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it!”
36 years since the beginning of his story and he is currently living his best life, not someone else’s. He enjoys hunting, fishing, knife making, and hanging out with his family. He loves helping people re-tool to change their lives and empowering them to do so. He loves God, loves his family, and loves people.
Why Should I Forgive?
“Why Should I Forgive? came from a place of discontent. It drove me to change my behavior, relationships, and habits. When I asked myself that question, I was met with a choice. Do I forgive, and be free of the burden of bitterness I was carrying around, or do I live in it, locking myself in a prison of torment and anger?
My passion is to empower people to change their own lives. I personally know the poison that bitterness injects into your body, mind, and spirit. I know the deep hate, anger, and shame that can drive you to your breaking point. I know how you can hurt the people who love you the most, or, even worse, yourself.
I have no Ph.D, M.D., or Doctorate degree in psychology. This is real. It’s my story of how I overcame bitterness, and now I want to give you the tools to walk you through your own journey. I want you to know that if you choose to forgive, it will lead to your freedom.
Join me on this journey. We will laugh, cry, and share life for a moment. This is my story of why and how. At the beginning of this book, the question is “Why should I forgive?” By the end of it, I will have given you the tools to help you in your quest to forgive. These tools will help you to forgive and start your path to spiritual freedom.”
What You’ll Learn
- How to stop thinking of yourself as a victim
- The process and benefits of forgiveness
- How to forgive someone without giving them access to you
- When and how to get rid of toxic people
- Derek’s favorite quote: “If I associate with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with eagles, I will learn to soar to great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly.”— Andy Andrews
- How Derek re-established the relationship with his father
- Abusive people are repeating what was done to them. They serve as an example of what not to be.
- How forgiveness set Derek’s stagnant life in motion
- Forgiveness is a choice. If you’re not forgiving people, you’re opening yourself up to torment.
- The difference between forgiveness and being taken advantage of
- Why you should never go to your pastor, friends, or family for marriage advice
- The 4 signs that spell doom for your marriage
- Your spouse is not an enemy, but a gift.
- Going with your gut when it comes to letting people into your life
- How to use your purpose as a filter for all of your relationships. Does this person help or hinder your purpose?
- Neutralize negative thoughts by telling them that you don’t need them anymore.
- On challenges—we never know how they’re preparing us for what’s to come.
- Having patience in “the waiting room” when we feel plagued by setbacks and delays
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