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Embrace the Past to Win Your Future Mark Crandall

Embrace the Past to Win Your Future with Mark Crandall


What is the story you‘ve been telling yourself over and over again that keeps you from stepping into the best self you can possibly be?

Mark Crandall is a Transformational Life Coach, host of the Purpose Chasers Podcast, and the author of Embrace Your Past Win Your Future: The Difference Between Being A Victim and Playing One. He was not a dad at the recording of this episode, but he will likely be one when it airs.

Mark has tremendous insight as a son who was abandoned by his biological parents and a man who is about to step into his role as a father.

Mark tells us how to:

  • detect and debunk self-limiting beliefs
  • change the toxic story you have about yourself
  • keep pushing through fear
  • resist the temptation to fall back into a destructive mindset
  • stop playing small and step into the role of the hero of your story

Get ready to win your future!

The men that you have around you, you will become.

Mark Crandall

“Mark’s is a story of uncommon adversity and triumph. At age three, Mark was taken from his biological mother by the Department of Youth and Families and placed in the foster care system. He lacked the tools and supports to manage both his grief and his new reality in society’s margins. From the pieces he conjured stories about his own worth. At around age 12 Mark began contemplating whether or not to just give up.

He began to engage in criminal activity, acting out his aggression at the expense of those closest to him and society at large. Mark began to self-medicate with substances; thus began his spiral into painful, chaotic addiction. Mark found himself in and out of youth detention centers and other correctional facilities. Though, even in his lowest moments, Mark recognized what others saw: There was greatness in even him.

In 2007, Mark found a spiritual program of action in which he began overcoming the many traumatic moments of his childhood. He also began the process of repairing the damage that he had caused others through his efforts to navigate life. Mark found freedom in an introspective process which informs his Transformational Life and Business Coaching and drug and alcohol Interventions. Mark is trained in some of the most powerful transformation practices available, all of which he uses in his work with others.”

What You’ll Learn

  • Mark’s estimate that 95% of society operates from a victim mentality
  • how society is coddling victims
  • how Mark was able to abuse drugs during his entire stay in prison
  • how Mark quit drugs and has stayed clean for 12 years
  • his longing for his biological parents to this day
  • the huge impact Mark’s adoptive father made in his life
  • how to keep growing and moving forward when your demons rear their ugly heads
  • why community is the key to staying on track
  • how to notice when we’re resorting to outside sources to feel adequate
  • why in reality, no one lacks motivation. They only lack belief in themselves to carry it out
  • the real reason we don’t invest in ourselves
  • how to strip everything you know about yourself and build a new story from scratch
  • how to chose to not to play the victim
  • why there are no such things as barriers, limitations, and judgements outside the ones you create in your own mind
  • why the “I already know” attitude prevents your from learning
  • why Mark as a dad wants to be constantly humbled so he can admit his faults and be a transparent, authentic dad

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Working to Live, Not Living to Work with Aaron Walker

How to Optimize the 5 Dimensions of Manhood

Battling Cancer as a Dad with Hal Elrod

 


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Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman

Wake Up the Hero with Wes Chapman

The story you’re about to hear is unlike anything we’ve ever had on this show before. Today we have mega-entrepreneur, Wes Chapman. He has been featured in Forbes, Inc., CBS, ABC, Tech Crunch and TEDx. He is a husband, a father of two, and the founder of A Human Project.

Wes may seem like the picture of success, but he has a dark and painful past that many would not survive. From the time he was born, Wes was physically, sexually, and mentally abused. He was abandoned by his father and then his mother. Then he was put into group homes and psych wards where doctors told him that his mental and emotional problems would prevent him from ever living a normal life.

Wes Chapman believes that absolute self-honesty is the key to healing and he is pure proof. In this episode, he shares the story of his incredible transformation, and how he triumphed over victimhood to wake up the hero within.

We only understand what we’ve endured. @wesleydchapman #abuse Click To Tweet

Wes Chapman

Wes Chapman was so neglected as an infant, that at 3 1/2 months old he was diagnosed as having failure to thrive, which means he didn’t grow and develop properly because his physical and emotional needs were not being met.

Shortly after that, his father left his mother and she married a man that Wes can only describe as pure evil. At the hands of this man, Wes endured physical, sexual, and emotional trauma until he was 6 years old.

Wes’s mom soon gave up on raising him. He was put into the system and spent the next year in and out of psych hospitals. Doctors considered him “broken” and that the best they could do was medicate him and keep him institutionalized, but one day, a woman walked into is life. She became Wes’s mom and hero.

Fast forward to today – Wes has overcome his trauma and victimhood and helps other children and adults do the same. He believes in what he calls H cubed.

  • Honesty
  • Healing
  • Hope
The important thing is not the stuff that happened, but the awakening that occurred. @wesleydchapman #trauma #abuse #healing Click To Tweet

Show Highlights

  • How Wes’s step father literally put him and his siblings in the doghouse. He made them wear a collar and chained them to the fence.
  • How Wes used to wake up in cold sweats watching his sister get molested.
  • How once in a psychiatric hospital, he beat the walls until his fists bled. This was in a padded room.
  • How a voice inside him decided not to tolerate his existence.
  • The remarkable story of the woman who took him in and cared for him.
  • The powerful idea behind H-cubed (Honesty, Healing, Hope).
  • How he finally got over his sexual abuse and was able to develop empathy toward the men who abused him.
  • How he became addicted to success in such a negative way that he had to walk away from everything.
  • His epiphany when he finally knew that his purpose and passion was to be like the woman who saved him and help others like him.
  • How he stalked Gary Vaynerchuk.
  • Why we need to stop wasting time and energy making up for our weaknesses and put all our effort into our gifts.
  • What manhood really is all about.
The only way you can take care of your own shit, is to take care of it with yourself. @wesleydchapman Click To Tweet

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Vulnerability is power. @wesleydchapman #vulnerability #dads #men #fathers Click To Tweet

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==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

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GDP 132 - Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Drugs, Alcohol, and Fatherhood with Omar Pinto

Today we have Omar Pinto, host and founder of the wildly popular SHAIR Podcast. SHAIR stands for Sharing Helps Addicts in Recovery. He’s part of our Dad Edge Alliance and he’s also a friend.

“O” shares the heart-wrenching story of the son he had to give up. He also takes us through his insane addiction to cocaine and alcohol, and how he not only survived, but transformed into one of the most well-known voices in recovery today. This is a special episode you will not forget!

The SHAIR Podcast

Drugs and alcohol are one of the most popular topics on the GDP. Many of us drink alcohol –  some of us are social drinkers, some of us might drink a lot – we’re all over the spectrum, but we’re all curious if we’re depending on it too much. There also might be some recreational drug users in the community who may wonder if their life could be better without drugs, but are too afraid to ask for help.

Omar Pinto has a huge fan base and he’s changing lives. Every week The SHAIR Podcast broadcasts amazing life-changing success stories from addicts and alcoholics all over the world and shares their inspiring journey into recovery. He also manages a 100% private Facebook accountability group for active and recovering alcoholics and addicts. His passion and life’s purpose is to inspire people struggling with addiction to take that first step towards recovery, to show them that their life could be so much better and that there is a better way to live.

Omar’s Story

Came from a dysfunctional home. His mom was Jehovah’s Witness, but his dad left the religion and it became a constant source of tension in the home. His dad was explosive and he grew watching parents fight all the time. At one point, Omar remembers that they each had their own bedroom, and he thought that when he got older he would do the same. This was normal to him.

His dad’s side of the family were heavy drinkers, but no one ever said the word “alcoholic.” They were social drinkers, weekend warriors. There was never a wedding, birthday, or funeral where alcohol was not involved.

Omar had low self-esteem as a kid. He worried about how he looked, whether he was smart, and if he would ever be a good athlete. He was a C student who had no special talents. Worst of all, he had a difficult time trying to fit in because his mom was Jehovah’s Witness. He couldn’t go to parties or participate in holiday activates. He was isolated and lost. It’s no wonder that drinking appealed to him.

At the age of seventeen, he got a job at a steakhouse. He left with a fat stack of cash every night and it was party time. He had no goals or aspirations. He was attending college, but not getting anywhere. He was already living the dream – a career waiter. The fun he was having was irresistible. But he started to drink on the job and one day passes out and gets fired.

He spent five years in college and didn’t get a degree. He decided to move to LA and get into the mortgage business. This was before the recession hit, and he was making the bucks. He met a girl and started a volatile relationship. Dysfunction seeks dysfunction. Omar was always wanted to be the hero, so he attracted victims. Once he rescued them, he took them hostage. Omar says he was an angry person; anger protected him and kept him sharp. His girlfriend moved in, and they had serious fights. He would go to work with scratch marks on his face.

After multiple break ups and reunions, he finally said he’s done with her for good. He was free and finally ready to move on with his life. A week later, his ex-girlfriend called.

She’s pregnant.

Fatherhood Nightmare

Omar was distraught. He called his dad and cried to him, but instead getting a sympathetic ear, his father told him, “Stop crying and man up. You’re twenty-five. You have nothing going for you. You couldn’t finish college. You can’t hold a steady job. This is the best thing that could happen to you. This will teach you how to be a man.”

The tears just stopped. Omar put his head back, and said, “Alright, Dad.”

His pregnant girlfriend moved back in, and the nightmare continues. It was rough, but Omar pushed through. As soon as his son was born, she left him to stay with her parents.

A constant battle to see his son ensued. Each time he tried to make arrangements, she avoided him or put him off. He spent the next year trying to see him. Finally, he told her, “If you want, you take full custody and relinquish me of any financial responsibility.” That was the offer she had been waiting for. She never answered him, just sent the papers. He was done.

The Descent into Addiction

Omar was broken and in a serious depression, he never stopped thinking about his son. Then someone offered him an online casino job in Costa Rica. This is where he met his present wife and the drug that would lead him into destruction.

Omar was told that above all, he had to fit in. His contacts and partners were valuable to the business. When he met all his coworkers, he couldn’t believe what insane partiers they were. They had bars in their offices. They even smoked weed right there at work. Omar drank and got high at work every day, having the best time ever.

One night, Omar was falling asleep on the desk. All his coworkers were on the way to the casino, but he told him he was too tired to go. How did they have the energy to stay out all night? Then one of the guys offered Omar some cocaine. The clouds parted. The angels sang. Omar felt like it was the secret elixir of success.

But it doesn’t take long to degrade into a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde situation. Omar’s problem skyrocketed. He regularly fell into coke-induced psychosis and paranoia, disappearing on binges and acting on insane delusions.

During the same time, he married his new wife and she was pregnant. But he couldn’t stop. One night, with his heart racing so fast he had to down booze and sedatives to prevent a heart attack, he hit an all time low. He got on his knees and prayed for God to take him out of this world or get him clean.

He woke up the next day, got in his car, and drove to his therapist. “I need help,” he finally said. The therapist new of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that was starting in an hour. Omar made it. He shared his story. The people surrounded him. That was the beginning his journey into recovery.

A Life of Purpose in Recovery

The 12 Steps radically changed Omar’s life. They allowed him to work through his father’s death and the unresolved situation with his son. Omar knew his story might inspire people to make the first step toward recovery. He created The SHAIR Podcast for those who are suffering from this disease who are hiding behind a veil of shame, those who are isolated behind a computer who just need one ray of hope and support to get started.

Thanks to the program that saved his life, Omar is still with his beautiful wife and his daughter who is now fourteen-years-old. He surrounds himself with people with the same values and principles. Fidelity, loyalty, and responsibility are non-negotiable. As painful as the situation with his son was, Omar says he wouldn’t be the man he is today or appreciate his family like he does today if he hadn’t gone through it. Now, it’s his goal to be the best dad he can be for his daughter.

Omar’s Dad Wisdom

If you are lost and haven’t quite found out how to communicate with your kids and be a good father, you have to view your circle of influence.

If you have sucky friends who are shitty dads, get rid of them. Find guys who are solid who care about their children.

 

If you’re struggling with drugs and alcohol and you’re afraid to ask for help, if you’re afraid to be found out, go to SHAIR Private Facebook group. You will be welcomed and surrounded with absolute love and support.
CLICK HERE TO JOIN.

 

Mentioned Episodes:

Porn – Why We Watch It, When It’s a Problem, and How to Stop with Nell Daly

SHAIR 134: “DO EPIC SHIT” with Larry Hagner of The Good Dad Project and The Dads Edge Alliance


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Daddy Will Always Love and Protect You

Links

Omar Pinto

theshairpodcast.com

Facebook

Private Facebook Group

Twitter


Are you ready to create an epic life

YES, I AM!

Dad Edge Alliance