haters

How to Deal with HATERS

Haters…if there is one thing for sure in life…Haters will always be there ready to drag you down when you are making big moves in your life.

At some point or another, we’ve been a victim of bullies. The thing is, the stereotypical schoolyard bully permeates into adulthood and, if we let them, can upset our adult lives. This sets us up for a lifetime of allowing one person’s actions or words dictate our lives.

Haters Gonna Hate

When someone perceives a lack in their own life, it is sometimes easier to point out the faults in someone else’s. Enter bully syndrome. This is when the person takes some action to put the other person down just to make themselves feel better. Even as adults, this can happen. As a matter of fact, sometimes adults are worse because they’ve had more years to perfect the art of bullying.

Take Out the Plank

So what do we do with this? First, identify that it’s not you, it’s them. These bullies prey on your weaknesses and insecurities. It’s not your job to make them feel better about themselves, so stop giving them your energy. Acknowledge what they are doing, look at own strengths and weaknesses and stop measuring yourself against other’s beliefs.

It’s a Matter of Perspective

Sometimes, when we seek to better ourselves, those close to us or those who interact with us on a regular basis, may respond negatively. This can manifest itself in remarks to demean our endeavors or make sure they “keep us in our place”.  Really, all this is is their own insecurity that you will change and no longer be what they need you to be. That’s simply selfish. What’s worse, they may not even realize what they are doing. This is where you need to make a tough decision: express to them that you do not appreciate what they are doing and work with them to resolve the behavior, or remove them from your life. It’s tough love.

Set the Example

As always, how we respond in life has a significant impact on how our kids will respond as well. Standing up for your own beliefs and remaining firmly grounded in your principles, despite what others say, shows your kids that no one can bully you into changing. You will lay the groundwork for an emotionally healthy, well-balanced child. So, look at bullies for what they really are: people who are not secure enough in themselves. Free yourself from the insecurities of others.

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