what it means to be masculine today

What It Means to Be Masculine Today


In this episode, we have invited Nicky Billou, the host of The Thought Leader Revolution Podcast. He is inspired by achievement and is dedicated to assisting others in achieving outstanding results.

But there was a time when Nicky’s marriage was in ruins and he didn’t even want to live anymore.

Today, Nicky talks about the biggest mistakes men make when it comes to marriage and what it means to be masculine today.

What You’ll Learn

Childhood days

[4:36]

Nicky had a great childhood as a Christian boy from Iran. He grew up admiring his father and treated him as a hero as his father taught him how to be a man.

[8:29]

His father was an old-fashioned, masculine man who taught him to be humble. His father portrayed how to show love and affection despite being a manly man.

Marriage

[16:41]

Nicky was married to a wonderful woman. They have two wonderful boys. Their youngest was diagnosed with a condition called Subglottic Tracheal Stenosis, which required a hazardous surgery that caused his wife to panic.

[17:42]

The doctor explained that the surgery would require a tube on their son’s throat and grafts on his body. However, there is also a 20% chance of failure, which could worsen their son’s condition.

[18:55]

Nicky felt that he had to be tough and strong (different from what he would do today), which caused him and his wife to argue often. A couple of weeks after his son came out of the hospital, Nicky was presented with a divorce petition from his wife. This made him feel like he wanted to die.

[20:01]

One morning, Nicky reached out to one of his friends and shared his frustrations. His friend encouraged him that life is worth living, and Nicky was thankful he made that call.

[21:01]

Nicky insists on the importance of having friends around when you have troubles. He encourages people to avoid hurting themselves as it will make life infinitely worst for their children.

Dealing with relationship trauma

[21:41]

Nicky met Owen Williams, an expert in helping men dealing with relationship trauma. He helped Nicky to recover by joining several sessions with men’s group. Two things got in the way of Nicky and his wife getting back together. His wife was not receptive to it at the time and Nicky still held much anger toward her.

[23:06]

Nicky’s perspective changed the day he was asked when he’d stop blaming his wife and when will he would take responsibility for his mistakes.

[25:32]

Nicky learned from Owen Williams that a woman will think about leaving her marriage for two years before giving a hint of that possibility. By the time a woman comes to tell you that she wants a separation, it will be hard to turn that around. Before that happens, wake up, be wise, and be a father to your children.

Buildup of emotions

[29:47]

When Nicky’s wife decided to divorce, he lost his sense of self and self-worth, and it was one of his worst experiences. But when he was in the room with his fellow men, he felt a surge of love and life-force coursing through his body, as if God were speaking to him that everything will be all right through a messenger.

Strength to walk a new path

[32:37]

Nicky expresses his yearning for his children. But even though he could not speak to them, he knew that his children missed him. He trusts God, and he knew that he had a bigger purpose in life. Nicky knew that his calling was to go out there and guide men and families to be of service to their children.

Advice

[40:03]

Nicky admires women and their ability to help each other. That is why he encourages men also to aid each other in times of need.

[42:05]

Going through a divorce means losing 70% of the wealth you’ve accumulated, denied access to kids, and it also destroys your sense of self, making it impossible to be your best.

[43:05]

Nicky is honored to help men be their best for their children their wives. As a man, it is his job to make sure that his children do not suffer.

[48:10]

You need to draw a line when it comes to the people that you associate with. It is even more important as a couple.

RELATED EPISODES:

Strong Men, Strong Marriages with Dr. Mike Frazier

The Art of Masculinity with Johnny Elsasser

The Anatomy of Marriage Part 1: The Woman’s Side


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Nicky Billou’s Links

thethoughtleaderrevolution.com

E Circle Academy

Instagram

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Pivoting During the Pandemic

Pivoting During the Pandemic with Ben Rector


Whether you had plans for your business, career, family, or personal life, COVID has probably derailed it to some point. Today, we talk about pivoting during the pandemic and turning our setbacks into new opportunities.

Ben Rector is a singer, songwriter, and record producer. Ben has appeared and performed on various television shows like Jimmy Kimmel Live! Conan, Live with Kelly and Ryan, and others. His songs make appearances on shows like American Idol, Ellen DeGeneres Show, World of Dance, Pretty Little Liars, and Castle.

In this episode, Ben talks about his music journey and how he’s had to restrategize his plans since the pandemic. He also shares his parenting insights and how he hits his reset button to stay on track.

What You’ll Learn

The Musician’s Journey

[03:21]

Ben had a humble beginning. He had no model to follow with no one in his family being musically-inclined. He grew up never thinking that music is something he would consider a job. He only started to embrace music professionally during college.

[04:48]

Ben loves playing any keyboard instrument or guitar.

 

Ben’s Appreciation for His Father

[07:19]

Ben appreciates his father for being stern while caring. His dad always showed up.

[08:35]

Ben witnessed his dad’s selflessness. He never doubted the love, care, and trust his dad had in him.

 

Pivoting during the Pandemic

[16:14]

Ben wants to make the best out of everything. He does not feel like there is any other option. Things will be difficult and challenging, and he will never be able to do any of it without his wife, Hillary.

[17:32]

The pandemic was the first time Ben was forced to slow down. It was the time he felt genuinely powerless. When his twins were born in such a time, it was peaceful yet weird for Ben.

[21:10]

Ben owns many aspects of his music. Any artist feels the sting in their income if they are highly-dependent on their record labels since they do not “own” the music.

 

Reset Button

[25:41]

Being honest with his feelings about situations has always been helpful for Ben. He is thankful that he and his wife have always been open with each other.

Being able to say out loud and name your difficulties is an affirmation that they exist and you are facing it. Everybody goes through challenges, and this rough time is a challenge for Ben and his wife—they are determined to take the challenge.

 

Parenting Legacy

[33:53]

Ben hopes to do an excellent job of letting his children know that he cares, loves, and supports them, just like how his father was for him. He hopes to gain their respect and to never doubt the love he has for them. He admires his father for the stern but caring approach, and he hopes to do the same thing.

 

What’s Next for Ben?

[37:40]

Ben envisions finishing his new record in the winter of 2022. His music and tours have been delayed due to the pandemic.

[39:04]

This pandemic was a luxury for Ben because, unlike pre-pandemic when things were chaotic, he now has space. He and his team take time to plan things out. Ben looks forward to being a dad, husband, and to moving around more before things start to get crazy again.

RELATED EPISODES:

Running Your Family as a Team with Marc Roberge from O.A.R.

Weird & Wonderful Ways to Build Mental Resilience with Ben Aldridge

To the Beat of Your Own Drum


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Ben Rector’s Links

Website: https://www.benrectormusic.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/benrector

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFSmphaPv6bT6CI3htrfu3Q

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/benrector

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_rector/

Support Ben by licensing his music on:

MusicBed: https://www.musicbed.com/artists/ben-rector/69

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Raising Strong Girls—A Dad’s Guide with Dr. Tim Jordan


It takes a special skillset to be a good dad to a daughter. We don’t have many shows about raising girls. If you have daughters between ages of five and twenty-five, this show is for you.

Today we are grateful to have Dr. Tim Jordan on the show to give us simple, sound advice on raising strong girls. He is the expert on parenting girls, a counselor, and the author of SHE LEADS: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead.

Dr. Tim Jordan is going to tell us how we as fathers can best help our daughters become empowered and confident. He highlights the unique challenges girls face that dads might not be aware of. He also explains how to teach girls to navigate pressure, speak up for themselves, and discover their true gifts.

Dr. Tim Jordan

Dr. Tim’s love for working with kids began with caring for his five younger sisters. As he pursued a career as a Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician, he discovered he had a magical connection with girls that was built on trust and care.

Dr. Tim has enjoyed 30 years of experience interacting with circles of girls during his personal growth retreats, summer camps, and school programs where girls share their deepest trials and triumphs.

He helps girls from ages 5 – 25 and provides guidance for parents raising daughters.

SHE LEADS: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead

Girls globally aspire to be a leader in their country, community, and career. Parents hear of the importance of empowering their daughters. Yet they receive very little instruction on how to parent girls to that end…until now. “She Leads” describes leadership qualities that are most in need today and the practical strategies parents can immediately use to help girls develop these traits. Whether or not your daughter becomes the leader of the free world is less important than her acquiring the skills to carve out the life she deserves and desires. This book will be your guide in raising strong, confident, passionate, influential young women who become successful and powerful initiators of change.

What You’ll Learn

  • Unfinished business from our childhood haunts our parenting.
  • Dads need to increase their self-awareness to be better fathers.
  • Don’t be afraid to be different as a person or parent.
  • How to ask why questions to get to the core of your daughters’ motivations.
  • How to guide girls to find their calling.
  • Most girls feel the pressure to know their future at a young age.
  • Tell them girls it’s okay not to know the big picture. Relax. Your life will unfold. Follow your heart, accumulate experiences, and the big picture will appear.
  • The value of people skills over perfect grades
  • There are many kinds of intelligence—emotional intelligence, street smarts, creativity, etc.
  • Validate and encourage your daughters’ gifts.
  • Dads must value all the things that are special about their daughters besides their looks—courage, people skills, integrity, uniqueness.
  • Acknowledge other women you see who have admirable qualities, whether in real life, TV shows, movies, or books.
  • How to show girls not to give away their power
  • Be a non-judgmental listener.
  • Why dad’s must share their own stories
  • Don’t go into fix-it mode when your girl comes to you with a problem.
  • Ask your daughters if they want feedback. Always ask for permission to give advice.
  • Kids need to find out who they are to have a happy life.

RELATED EPISODES:

Communication Mastery for Fathers with Chris Voss

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy

Raising Strong Daughters


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Dr. Tim Jordan

drtimjordan.com

Podcast

Amazon

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success is closer than you think

Success is Closer Than You Think

It’s been about a year since our worlds were drastically changed by the pandemic. Many of us feel discouraged and stressed out. It seems impossible to stay motivated and focused. We lose the momentum we had toward whatever goals we planned to achieve pre-COVID.

Today’s show is for those who feel frustrated and overwhelmed, for those who struggle with imperfection, impostor syndrome, and self-doubt. It’s for those on the brink of giving up.

Don’t do it. Keep showing up. I will tell you why. When life fights you the most, be ready, because something amazing is heading your way.

This is my personal story about the success that I would’ve never experienced had I given up all those times I wanted to quit. Success is so much closer than you think.

RELATED EPISODES:

Positive Fatherhood with Roger Mathews

Pulling the Positive from Failures with UFC Champion Frankie Edgar

Frankie Edgar on Life Lessons from the Octagon


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If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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CLICK HERE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEW.


 


Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

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FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


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power of humor through hard times

The Power of Humor Through Hard Times with Mirthell Onyx


When life gets tough, we tend to take things too seriously. We get discouraged and bitter. We might even lose faith.

In this episode, we get a chance to speak with Mirthell Onyx. He has been an ordained minister and marriage and family therapist for over twenty years. Mirthell is also a dad who writes, directs, produces, and acts in his family’s viral YouTube channel. There they depict how they rose from “the struggle life” to “the Onyx life” as a self-made, millionaire family utilizing social media as their primary entertainment platform.

Also the host of The Onyx Life podcast, Mirthell seeks to inspire and educate families on how to simultaneously build happy homes and financial empires. Today he teaches us how to use the power of humor through hard times and keep the faith to get through anything.

Tell the story. Feed the soul. Make them laugh. Heal the heart.

What You’ll Learn

Mission

[6:34]

Mirthell said that laughter is medicine. He believed that their story is very impactful to feed the soul, make people laugh, and heal the heart. They are constantly telling stories and doing funny skits with life lessons.

[7:08]

He shared that his family puts a spin on their show through laughter that allows some of the things they go through as married couples, or as families. He added that it gives people hope after a storm.

Background

[8:03]

Mirthell was an ordained minister for 17 years. HE started the Youtube Show to connect with people on a real down-to-earth level hoping to make a difference.

Miracles

[10:18]

Mirthell shared that the current COVID situation made his family get closer to each other. He learned to value that special time with his family.

Giving Back

[11:46]

Mirthell discussed doing a lot of quarantine-type skits and entertainment to bring a little bit of light to the situation. They made a collaboration with Dr. Fauci to educate people on the newest things and to understand what is happening around them. The show talked about how to get to the heart of issues,  understand them, laugh at them and move on.

Spiritual Approach

[17:05]

For Mirthell, the greatest spirituality is love. The spiritual ground and the common denomination is loving one another that you can all work on.

[17:33]

He added that we’re on the same spiritual path and how powerful and pure love is. There’s power in our story, and in who we are. Despite what we believe, there is a spirituality in us.

Faith Approach on Your Children

[19:02]

There is something natural and passionate inside of the children that need to come out. Mirthell believes that parents ought to be the guide and children are the experts. Life is going to tell them exactly who they are.

Positive Energy

[22:20]

Mirthell said that you should understand the power of who you are, how you were made. Allow yourself to draw that positive energy to you because you’re important.

Belief

[23:41]

Mirthell believed in the power of words. They are just cautious to make sure that they’re always seeding into their audience’s life the importance of believing, and knowing that this will draw good things to you.

Lessons for Children

[35:42]

Mirthell taught his children that every people group has issues and challenges, to listen to other people’s stories, and to sympathize with others. He added the importance of being compassionate with one another.

YouTube Journey

[39:50]

When Mirthell and his family experienced having nothing, they prayed to God to help them. His wife searched about YouTube and started their show. After a month, they made money.

[41:06]

He realized that you don’t need to grieve over a pandemic, or systematic racism because there’s a far bigger plan than any of the distractions in life.

Acknowledging the Problem

[44:50]

Mirthell believed that ignoring problems can’t solve them. Part of the solution is acknowledging problems and finding a solution.

 

Leave an iTunes review.
Get a FREE book!

If you’re enjoying the show, leave us an itunes reviewIf your review is chosen as the iTunes Review-of-the Week, we’ll send you the free book of your choice!

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Thanks for the support!

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Mirthell Onyx’s Links

onyxstarpublishing.com

YouTube

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

Podcast

Amazon

Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE BOOKHERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook

We have Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

FREE chapter from THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE

FREE EMAIL SERIES: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

FREE EBOOK:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS


Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


Follow The Dad Edge


Don’t settle for a mediocre life.

Join over 531 men becoming their best selves
in The Dad Edge Alliance.

APPLY HERE!


What did you think of the show?

What was your biggest take away?

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