Wild Power: Understanding Your Woman’s Cycle with Alexandra and Sjanie from Red School


Today we’re going to shed light on a mysterious phenomenon that puzzles most men and even women—the menstrual cycle. We usually shy away from discussing this topic in great detail, but it is a huge part of life as a couple. Understanding your woman’s cycle will allow you to get to know her in a way you never thought possible.

Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer are the authors of Wild Power and the co-founders of Red School. They are going to teach us about the four seasons of your woman’s cycle, what goes on in her mind and body and how you can work in harmony with the seasons.

They tell us how to take advantage of what each season has to offer as well as knowing what your partner needs before she even asks for it. You will know when she craves space, when she needs connection, and when she’s most sexually charged.

This episode will be a revelation. Alexandra and Sjanie’s advice will equip you with all the knowledge you need to appreciate and “flow” with the wild power of your woman’s cycle.

Red School

Red School teaches a radical new approach to women’s health and wellbeing; creativity and leadership; and spiritual life based on the power of our menstruality consciousness.

With combined experience in the fields of psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, coaching, teaching and facilitation, Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer are both published authors and experts in the fields of women’s health and wellbeing and spirituality.

Between us they have forty years of exploring and learning about menstruality from their own deeply lived experience and the collective knowledge they have gathered from working with thousands of women in workshops, one to one sessions and passing conversation.


What You Will Learn

  • Understanding the menstrual cycle is knowing your wife
  • How working with a woman’s cycle creates harmony in families
  • Women experience different emotional climates, and that is not bad thing if you understand what is happening to her
  • The female cycle is fundamental to a woman’s creative and sexual energy.
  • Why women have different perspectives and change their minds depending on the time of month.
  • The four seasons of menstruation:
    • Winter (1 or 2 days before her period till it’s over) – energy is low, and she feels vulnerable. She will want to drop out from the world and withdraw. Men should provide safety, space, and decision-making.
    • Spring (end of period till day 11) – a time of experimentation and possibility. Motivation begins to come back. She will need cherishing.
    • Summer (approx. 11-19 days) – This is her superwoman time. She will be productive, industrious, playful, sensual, and attractive. She will be less defensive. She will want to be seen and appreciated. It’s a good time to have difficult conversations and approach her with physical intimacy.
    • Fall (after day 18 or 19) – Sensitivity will begin to heighten. She will have bigger, stronger feelings and be tough and critical. She will need to slow down and reevaluate what she is doing. During this time, she will need to be heard. The best thing to do for her is listen to the truth in what she’s saying without getting defensive or dismissive.
  • To be understood is everything for a woman.
  • The power of being cycle efficient is that everyone’s needs are met and everyone’s happy.
  • Bickering falls away when each takes responsibility for what they can handle it when they can handle it. It’s a dance.
  • Do men have cycles?

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Stop Drifting and Consciously Design Your Future with Dominick Quartuccio

Get Lit: Forget the Pressure to Find Your Why with Dominick Quartuccio

5 Practices to Make You a Mentally Tougher Man with Dominick Quartuccio


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Alexandra and Sjanjie’s links

Red School

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Bonding with Sons and Daughters

A Father’s Guide to Bonding with Sons and Daughters with Michael Gurian

According to Columbia University, children who have a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to drink, smoke, or use drugs. How we can strengthen the bond between father and son and father and daughter?

Michael Gurian is one of the world’s foremost experts on gender and the brain and has been called “The People’s Philosopher” for his ability to bring together people’s ordinary lives and scientific ideas. He is the NY Times bestselling author of thirty-two books, a keynote speaker, a husband and a father.

Michael tells us the top three reasons why today’s kids aren’t connecting with their dads. He teaches us to discover our assets as fathers and how to invite our kids to utilize them. He also shares the neuroscience behind the differences between bonding with sons and daughters, and how we be the best father to each gender.

Michael Gurian

Dr. Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of thirty two books published in twenty three languages. He provides counseling services in private practice.  The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals.

Michael has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including THE WONDER OF GIRLS, THE WONDER OF BOYS, BOYS AND GIRLS LEARN DIFFERENTLY!, THE MINDS OF BOYS and LEADERSHIP AND THE SEXES.

In the 1990s, Michael and his colleagues at the University of Missouri-Kansas City completed a two year pilot study that established best practices for educating boys and girls.  These strategies and Michael’s nature-based gender theory are now used in schools and communities worldwide.

One of the world’s foremost gender experts, Michael travels to approximately 25 cities per year to provide keynotes at conferences and speak at schools and in communities. Michael has served as a trainer and consultant to colleges, corporations, school districts, community agencies, faith communities, criminal justice personnel, and other professionals. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael’s work has been featured in nearly all the major media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Psychology Today, the Christian Science Monitor, Educational Leadership, the American School Board Journal, Family Therapy, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, the 700 Club, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

What You’ll Learn

  • Michael’s mom had mental illness, and he grew up in an environment of violence and sexual abuse.
  • Michael’s father was mostly absent in his life until his dad was eighty years old.
  • It took 10 years of therapy for Michael to process his trauma. Therapy helped him recover and inspired him to become a counselor.
  • He’s been married to his wife 34 years, who is also a mental health counselor. They have two girls, aged 29 and 26.
  • Michael’s marriage advice: Establish domains as a couple. Figure out what each of you are good at and give each other space to do that. This prevents you trying to control each other.
  • Why you should compliment your spouse publicly.
  • Michael’s book, The Stone Boys, and why he wrote a story about traumatized boys.
  • The brain is not gender neutral. It shows differences according to sex beginning in utero.
  • Why we need to understand the male experience better
  • How culture is over-judging males and has lost the sense of value in a fathers’ masculinity
  • Dads are 50% of their kids support and development. They need to claim role in their kids’ lives.
  • Why kids aren’t connecting with dads
    • Divorce and child custody processes typically vilify the father.
    • The father abdicates to the mother or others because he doesn’t understand his role. He is afraid to assert himself as a father.
    • The father fails to invite the child to utilize him for the assets he has. He must be a presence. It doesn’t have to be deep conversation. Fathers and kids can bond with sports, movies, video games, and other activities.
  • Don’t be too permissive. Kids want structure.
  • How to be authoritative, not authoritarian.
  • The structure of a boy’s brain is wired to be more active. More blood flow goes to the doing part of the brain.
  • Females have more blood flow to the front and top of the brain. They solve problems internally by thinking and connect to emotive parts of brain.
  • Why females create rumination loops, leading to depression and anxiety.
  • How dads can listen to their daughters for ruminating, find the right time to step in, do a reality check, and offer suggestions.
  • Boys don’t have as many words for feelings as girls.
  • How dads can help their boys get their feelings out
  • What special activities dads can do with their daughters and sons to make the bond strong.
  • Figure out who you are as a dad and what your assets are.
  • Find common interests with your kids. Ritualize doing these things with your kids so you can establish your presence as the dad.
  • Gauge what your spouse is doing. What has she got covered? Where can you fill in the gaps as a husband and father?
  • The difference between maternal and paternal nurturing
  • How trauma effects boys and girls
  • Signs of trauma—if your child suddenly becomes withdrawn, angry, or isolated, he or she may have been traumatized.
  • More kids are traumatized than we realize.
  • How the dad spirit organically works in the family dynamic. Trust it and embrace it.

RELATED EPISODES:

Taking Action as the Head of Your Family

Modern Manhood: What it Means to Be a Good Man Today with Cleo Stiller

Imposter Syndrome: Defeating Your Inner Bully with Dr. Jamie Hope


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Michael Gurian’s Links

MichaelGurian.com

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LinkedIn

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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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living your authentic life

Living Your Authentic Life


Are you living your authentic life? What if you have everything that’s supposed to make you happy and you’re still miserable?

On today’s show, we have Dad Edge Alliance member and everyday dad, Josh Long. Josh had a very successful 16-year career that he hated. He was so hungry for significance in his life, that he threw himself into volunteering for his community. He eventually ran for city council and won. Everything looked very admirable on the outside, but inside he was dying.

Josh was overcommitted and stressed. He began to rely on alcohol to cope. His marriage was in crisis, and he started investing emotionally in another woman. He was living a life of quiet desperation, until he took a hard look at what he was giving his time and energy to and realized he was living for the wrong reasons.

Listen to how Josh saved his marriage, became a better father, and started living a life according to his true values.

“We have to rebuild ourselves before we rebuild our marriages.”—Josh Long, The Dad Edge Alliance

 

RELATED EPISODES:

5 Rules for an Unshakable Marriage

Why Your Ego is the Enemy with Ryan Holiday

How to Stop Being A Miserable F*ck with John Kim


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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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confident mentally tough daughters

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy


What kind of father do we need to be to raise girls into strong, empathetic, and emotionally resilient women? Today’s show is all about how to raise confident, mentally tough daughters.

Emily McCarthy is a former case officer for the CIA and the cofounder of GORUCK, a brand with Special Forces roots that leads backpacking events all over the world.

Emily lost her father when she was just getting out of college. It was a devastating blow, but the foundation he laid will echo for generations.

Emily talks about how her dad gamified safety and defense so she would always be ready to protect herself and others. She also talks about the many ways her father showed up in her life that made her into the incredible woman she is today.

Emily’s story is proof of the ripple effect a father leaves on his children’s lives, even if his time is cut short. Don’t miss this moving episode.

My father was a big part of my life because he showed up.

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters

  • What it was like for Emily to witness her father dying
  • The void left by the pillar of the family
  • In the wake of his death, she traveled the world as a language teacher.
  • How Emily’s father taught her and her brother important lessons veiled in fun activities
  • How her dad showed them to protect themselves through the gamification of safety and defense
  • How Emily’s father expected her to protect her brother and anyone who needed help
  • The many large and small ways her dad showed up for her
  • Emily’s father technique to train her “not to be a wuss”
  • How Emily’s father’s lessons helped her through bullying
  • How to instill healthy fear in your children
  • If you shelter a child too much, they will not have the healthy fear to protect themselves.
  • The unusual relationship between her and her husband/GORUCK cofounder, Jason
  • How once, in 5 years of their marriage, they never lived together
  • Her experience as a case officer for the CIA post-911
  • The happy accident of the GORUCK idea
  • How GORUCK events make people excited about life and bring about a sense of community
  • The benefits of GORUCK Events for parents and kids
  • How kids in a group setting self-correct­­–”the village teaches”
  • Rucking is just like life–you don’t know what to expect.
  • How Emily sees her father in her children, even though they never met him.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Protect Your Daughter Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally with Warren Petersen

Being a Coach, a Dad, and Raising Strong Daughters with Bret Johnson

Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink

Emily McCarthy’s Links

gooddadproject.com/goruck

Find a GORUCK Club

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Instagram

 


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Resources

Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

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Teaching Your Kids to Defend Themselves

Teaching Your Kids to Defend Themselves

Fight, flight, or freeze. These are humans’ three reactions to danger. What tools do your kids have to defend themselves when they are threatened?

As parents, we hope our kids will never be forced into this position, but in order to protect them, we must teach them how to stick up for themselves.

Martial arts are a great way to give kids the tools they need to defend themselves. They also teach life skills like discipline, perseverance, and courage. It’s not just about fighting. It’s about empowerment—physical, mental, and emotional.

Today we have Dad Edge Alliance member Philipp Lomboy back on the show. He is a martial arts and self-defense expert and the creator of the Everyday Fighter podcast and community. He is also the father of four girls. He has instilled training as part of his daughters’ lives and has raised them to know that they have the right to set their own boundaries and demand respect.

Listen to the benefits of teaching your kids to defend themselves in this short episode!

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RELATED EPISODES:

The Everyday Fighter in Life


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Philipp Lomboy’s Links

everydayfighter.me

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Fill out an application for The Dad Edge Alliance

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Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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