Podcast Episodes

How to Improve Patience Drastically Even on Your Worst Day – GDP013

“How to Improve Patience Drastically Even on Your Worst Day” Episode Overview

I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of Dads over the past 2 years since I have started The GDP. Specifically, I have done several “Dad Workshops” over the past two years.  The Dad Workshops are all about implementing 5 strategies in our lives to help us enjoy the journey of fatherhood. There is always one really important trait that almost all men wish they had more of: ”patience.”

Key Take-Aways

In this episode, Shawn and I go over:

  • Internal and External Factors that can have a devastating effect on our level of patience

  • How to recognize our queues during the day where we have the least amount of patience

  • Ultimately, strategies that will improve patience no matter what challenge you face

How to Improve Patience by Recognizing External and Internal Challenges

External factors are literally anything and everything that happen outside our own minds. Meaning, there are several challenges that anyone of us can face on a daily basis that are outside of our control that can wreak havoc on our level of patience. These external factors can be: disciplinary stress/challenges with our kids, unsatisfactory job, challenges with our marriages/relationships, etc.

Internal factors have everything to do with how we respond to those challenges. Meaning, internal factors are the voices inside our head that love to mess with us. For example, it’s the voice that asks:

  • “Why can’t I handle this?”

  • “Shouldn’t I be stronger than this?”

  • “I must be a terrible father if I can’t better than this.”

We have all been there and it can be such a challenge.  However, there are strategies to improve patience in any given situation.

Strategy #1: How to Improve Patience by Knowing Your Triggers

For the most part, Dads have 2 times of the day when our patience can be the lowest. Morning can be a tough time of day because we usually go straight from a peaceful slumber and dive right into the challenges of the day. Time and time again, we have heard people say, “I’m just not a morning person.” For folks like that, this usually means the patience level is a bit thin when they first rise.

Solution: Believe it or not, if you are not a morning person, the best way to get your day started on a positive note is to rise 30-60 minutes early. Reason being, you should get up and do something positive just for yourself to get your mind in the right place. For some, going to the gym and exercising is just what we need. For others, it can be reading, praying, or simply watching 30 minutes of SportsCenter. The point is this, it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it is something you enjoy and it is positive. Studies have statistically proved that people who start their day earlier and do something they enjoy are 35% more productive.

The second time of day where Dads usually have minimal patience is right after work. Going right from “Working Dad” to “Family Dad” without some mental prep before walking in the front door can definitely be a challenge. Reason being, as men, we are out solving the problems of the world and that can be stressful! Going right from a stressful day at the office right to the chaos of the home front can be a bit daunting from time to time.

Solution: Just as you need to mentally prep for any big meeting or presentation, you have to sometimes mentally prep to be your best when you put your “Family Dad” hat on.  Prayer, positive audiobooks, and inspirational podcasts can definitely help get your mind and heart in the right state.

Strategy #2: How to Improve Patience by Doing Something You Love Every Day

Having a positive outlet is absolutely critical if we want to be our best. For some, a positive outlet means something physical like exercise, running, or going for a walk. For others, it is something that improves mental clarity and focus like meditation, prayer, or reading. The strategy is to ensure we do something on a daily basis for no less than 30 minutes that is a healthy outlet. Having a healthy daily outlet can drastically improve patience and help us live more fulfilled lives.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Hal Elrod, being a good dad, the morning miracle

Being a Good Dad with “The Miracle Morning” – GDP012

“Being a Good Dad with ‘The Miracle Morning’” Episode Overview

Larry and Shawn interview Hal Elrod. Hal is one the world’s most popular and sought after success coaches. Hal goes in depth of how he uses “The Miracle Morning” strategies to be a more purposeful father.

Key Take-Aways

  • How dads can utilize “The Morning Miracle” to improve their lives
  • Learn about the “5 Minute Rule” and how it can improve your mentality and positivity
  • Learn about 6 powerful development characteristics (S.A.V.E.R.S.) that will help enrich a balanced and fulfilled life

 

Guest: Hal Elrod

Hal Elrod, being a good dad, the miracle morning

Hal Elrod is a best selling author, international keynote speaker, ultra-marathon runner, one of the most sought after success coaches in the world, and a father. He currently teaches people how to get the most out of life by using a strategy called “The Miracle Morning”.

Early in life, Hal learned that if you want something, you have to earn it. It’s a lesson he instills in his own children. He also learned that you can get paid doing something that you love. Although a self-described “non high-level achiever” in academics and athletics compared to Hal’s peers growing up, he found within himself the power to say, “Why not me? Why can’t I do that?” — and so, he broke a company all-time sales record held for 50 years for the western division of its national region, during his first 10 days working with a mentor. Breaking record after record, Hal started being recruited to speak at events at company where he worked and at others. Then, Hal began his career as a motivational speaker and his other endeavors followed.

What’s Your Wheelchair?

Hal was traveling back from a speaking engagement where he received a standing ovation, and he went from feeling on top of the world to feeling like the world was ending. Listen to the podcast as Hal shares his story of surviving a near-fatal car crash, in which he lost so much blood that he was clinically dead for 5-6 minutes.

Now that Hal is a dad himself, he has come to understand a part of his own story that he didn’t come to realize before: the unimaginable pain and emotions his own parents went through with his accident and recovery. After coming out of a coma 6 days later, doctors told Hal that he would never walk again. While his parents were distraught, Hal wasn’t. He told his parents that if the doctors were right, then he would be the happiest, most grateful person in a wheelchair. Because you can either be miserable in the wheelchair or not be miserable. Either way, you’re still going to be in a wheelchair.

What’s your circumstance in your current state or past that is out of your control? Or, maybe you can control the circumstance, but it’s going to a lot of time to turn it around? What’s your wheelchair: What is the circumstance that you’re letting hold you back from true happiness, fulfillment, success, everything that you want? Because you can choose to be the happiest, most grateful, most productive person even in the midst of the most difficult time in your life.

“The Miracle Morning”

Listen to the podcast to hear why and how Hal created “The Miracle Morning” for himself.

These are things Hal does for his “Miracle Morning”:

  • He wakes up a couple hours early — first thing in the morning when his brain is fresh mentally and emotionally, a clean slate. The time enables him to tackle his biggest ambitions, goals, dreams, and highest priorities in his life and/or business before his kids wake up.
  • He exercises every morning to put himself in a peak physical, mental, and emotional state.
  • He listens to an audiobook that challenges him to be a better person (business, personal growth, improving relationships, etc.).
  • The combination of listening to something extremely positive while putting yourself in a peak physical state is critical.
  • Then, applying what you have learned into your daily life every day.

This quote turned Hal’s life around:

“Your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development because success is something you attract by something you become.” – Jim Rohn

If you want Level 10 success in life, then you have to assess where you are at in your personal development in all areas of your life. Hal defines “personal development” as “you as a person, who you are”: your knowledge, confidence, skills, energy, enthusiasm — literally, every component of you who are, that’s your personal development.

For example: If your level of knowledge of being a dad is at a Level 2, you’re wondering why you’re being not being a good dad, and you want to be at Level 10, then you have to grow yourself as a person. Make being a better dad a personal daily study to improve your knowledge and skills of how to be better dad. It’s not about what you are doing, but who you are becoming and aspire to become. Yet ironically, it’s what we’re doing that’s determining who we are becoming.

The 5 Minute Rule

Hal learned about The 5 Minute Rule through his mentor and now friend during his sales training class. He explains how dads can get out of their own heads and into positivity by using it.

Hal’s mentor/friend explained The 5 Minute Rule to him like this:

1. You’re going to go out there and experience failure, rejection, and all that you encounter in sales — and in life, period. You’re going to encounter a lot of this, and it’s OK to be negative sometimes.
2. Don’t bottle feelings up; don’t shove them down. Don’t pretend that your feelings are not there and try to avoid them. Feel them, but set the timer on your phone to 5 minutes to moan, complain, vent, feel sorry for yourself, cry, etc.
3. After 5 minutes, you have to realize that there’s no value in dwelling on something that’s out of your control. You can’t go back in time and change it, so there’s no value in feeling bad wishing that you could.

Hal shares these insights about The 5 Minute Rule to help shift your mindset and perspective:

  • To the degree that you wish something didn’t happen to you, it’s a resistance to that reality.
  • To the degree that you resist your reality, it’s the degree that you will create emotional pain for yourself.
  • Emotional pain has little to nothing going on around you, and it has everything to do with what’s going on inside of you.
  • Realize what you can and cannot change.
  • Accept the things you cannot change and don’t focus on them. There is no point, no value, in focusing on things you cannot change.
  • As you practice The 5 Minute Rule more and more, you’ll realize that it will be become easier for you to typically take less than 5 minutes to do. You’ll notice that the 5-minute timeframe needed to be negative and express your feelings will begin shrink into less time, in general.
  • Eventually, The 5 Minute Rule will evolve for you. You’ll begin to understand that every negative emotion that you feel is self-created, and you can choose to not self-create negative emotion.
  • Accept life before it happens.

 

Life S.A.V.E.R.S.

6 Most Powerful Developmental Practices – Life S.A.V.E.R.S.:

1. Silence:  Meditation/Prayer or both.
2. Affirmations: Written statements of what you want, why you want them, and how you will achieve them with clarity. (Hal’s favorite part of S.A.V.E.R.S.) For Hal, it’s not about lying to yourself of tricking yourself. It’s about programming your subconscious with a clear vision and clarity over what you’ve got to commit to do in order to ensure achievement and going in the direction you want to go.
3. Visualization: Not just visualizing the end result, but also taking action.
4. Exercise: Benefits of exercise puts you in a peak physical, mental, and emotional state to “win” your day, especially in the morning.
5. Reading: Read self development books every day. Hal says this is one of the fastest ways to become the person you want to be in every area of your life.
6. Scribing: 5 minute journal — in other words, write for 5 minutes. Gratitude journals are a great way to record, reflect, and remember the positive things and people in your life. Hal uses an app called “5 Minute Journal”, making morning and evening entries. You can also buy a physical journal or notebook, which gives the added neurological benefits from physically going through the motions of writing.

In the end, if you want to be a great parent, simply strive to become a great person. Become a Level 10 human being.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned In This Episode

 

Books Mentioned In This Episode

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Armando Cruz_The R.I.C.H. Man Experience & How to Connect with Your Spouse

The R.I.C.H. Man Experience & How to Connect with Your Spouse – GDP011

“The R.I.C.H. Man Experience & How to Connect with Your Spouse” Episode Overview

Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson interview Armando Cruz about the R.I.C.H. (Respect, Inspired, Connected, Happy) Man Experience. Armando has developed a program to take dads to a new level and how to connect with your spouse or partner.

Key Take-Aways

  • Learn about the R.I.C.H. (Respect, Inspired, Connected, Happy) Man Experience
  • How to balance your work life and family life
  • How to recognize the love language of your partner and speak hers/his vs. our own

 

Guest: Armando Cruz

Armando Cruz_The R.I.C.H. Man Experience & How to Connect with Your Spouse

Armando Cruz is a husband, father, entrepreneur, adventurer, lifestyle physical therapist, ultra-runner, and performance coach. He is the owner of Cruz Country Fitness & Physical Therapy and the creator of the R.I.C.H. Man Experience.

Armando has climbed mountains, has ran over 50 miles in a day in the swamps, has lived out of his car, and has rollerbladed and surfed in hurricanes but his biggest adventure has been fatherhood. He is the proud dad of 3 amazing children and has been married for 8 years to his beautiful wife Christian.

After coaching and working with many different clients, Armando realized his passion and unique capabilities were to help fathers that are entrepreneurs live happier, more connected, and more fulfilled lives. Thus, he created the R.I.C.H. Man Experience: an immersive coaching program for fathers that are entrepreneurs to improve connection to their life purpose, their health, their wife, their kids, and their adventure. The aim is so that they show up daily as the greatest and grandest version of who they are for themselves, for their family and for their legacy.

Be the Greatest Version of You: R.I.C.H. Man Experience

Armando created the R.I.C.H. Man Experience as way to use a compass on a day-to-day basis to check himself and help become the greatest version of himself.

R – Respected:

  • Trustworthy
  • Authentic
  • What you’re saying and what you’re doing are all in alignment

I – Inspired: If you think back, when you were inspired, there was no need to motivate yourself. in fact, there may have been people trying to stop you.

“Very often if you need motivation to do something, it’s not really something that you want to do. Motivation is an external application towards you versus inspiration, which means quite literally to be filled with the spirit, coming from the inside out. And whenever you’re coming from the inside out, in inspiration, you’re more in alignment with your truth, with your passion, and you’re going to be more authentic.” – Armando Cruz

C – Connected:

  • Thing that unites us as spouses/partners and unites us with our kids in our relationships
  • Health — nutrition, exercise, mindset, spirituality, how you’re going into it, attitude, sleep, water/hydration; not just fitness, which is one dimensional

“If you don’t have your health and are not in the best shape, then you’ll be a fraction of what you could be because you don’t have the vitality, you don’t have that connection to your best self, and don’t have the clarity to become it. Being connected is being aligned with the people and things that matter most to you.” – Armando Cruz

H – Happy: Culmination of all three — Respected, Inspired, and Connected — when they’re in alignment, you’ll find yourself being more fulfilled and happy. But also, showing up: If you show up being happy, you’ll find something to be happy for and about — fake it until you make it.

Balancing Marriage, Fatherhood, Work

Armando says that “having it all” really means making the best choices. You really can’t have it all because when you choose something, it negates the rest. You can’t be one and the other. What you’re looking for is really what is going to serve you the best.

The balance is kind of a myth, according to Armando. Balance means that there’s not movement. When something is in balance, it’s in zero: It’s neither going forward nor backwards; it’s just there. For example, a pond that just sits there starts building up algae and bacteria, and it starts eating away at itself instead of growing.

Instead, what you’re looking for is movement, says Armando. In order for there to be movement, there are areas of imbalance. Imbalance is not a bad thing; it’s creating movement. The question is: Are you moving in the direction that you want? In the marriage or relationship with your partner and relationship with your kids, are you moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling, more connected relationships — and what does that mean to you? You need to define what it is that is healthy, fulfilling, and connected. By defining it, you can be more concrete. Make sure everyone is speaking the same language.

Shawn suggests replacing the word “balance” with “integration.” Movement creates progress, and progress is power. It boils down to clarity, getting clear on what it is you want versus what you think everybody is supposed to have or what you think you’re supposed to have. It’s important to take a step back, and write down 5-10 things that you really want yourself and not base it on consumerism. Once you can get clearer about what you want, you can find a much clearer path to get there.

Knowing When Coaching is Necessary

Armando often is asked what he does as a coach. Coaches don’t give answers. Instead, coaches ask people the right, best possible questions so that their clients can find the answers for themselves. Asking the right questions is the best, most powerful way of gaining clarity. Clarity gives you freedom because you can see and know what you want.

One process coaches use is a 3 step method for asking questions to get clarity:

1. Define: What does it look like? (ex. What does success in your marriage look like?) Create a vision for that.

2. Refine: What does it not look like? Sometimes there is difficulty in creating the vision of what it looks like, so asking what it doesn’t look like helps.

3. Align: How will I know when I’m not at the best? When I’m not showing up as the best version at that point (ex. in my marriage) — or, when I’m not there? How will I know when I am there? While those questions may all seem very similar, by giving you that contrast, you’re giving different perspectives. Perspectives give you a richer view of any situation.

There’s a difference between coaching and mentoring, and there are different types of coaching and mentoring. Armando explains that mentoring can be described as: “Do what I do. This worked for me, so this is a path that seems to be good.” Coaching, on the other hand, is a little bit different and it’s a luxury: Coaching is not something that you need in order to survive. We can figure our lives out without it, historically speaking. And for some people, good enough is good enough. When coaching becomes powerful and somewhat of a necessity is for men and women committed to excellence. If excellence is a must for you, if excellence and legacy are things that you strive for, then coaching is important because coaching provides perspective. Coaching comes from a place of gathering clarity not necessarily giving instruction.

“You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” – Les Brown

 

Speaking the Same Love Language

A highly recommended book to read for both men and women is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which was featured by Oprah on her shows. In a nutshell, the 5 Love Languages are: quality time; words of affirmation; physical touch; receiving gifts; and acts of service.

It’s critical to know how you and your partner, your kids, and others around you communicate. It’s important to get on the same page and understand one another since people communicate differently, especially when it comes to expressing love. Partners need to get together to talk about their top 2 love languages, and then implement some strategies to have the best communication with each other using both love languages. You need to have specific intent and have these conversations.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned In This Episode

 

Books Mentioned In This Episode

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Essential Tool Kit for Dads

Essential Tool Kit for New Dads – GDP010

“Essential Tool Kit for New Dads” Episode Overview

Most men are extremely nervous about being a new dad. Larry and Shawn talk about the top 3 concerns that most new dads share: money, potential changes in the marital relationship, and time with friends.

Key Take-Aways

Many men have serious fears about becoming a new dad, such as:

  • Money: Financial constraints of a new baby
  • Relationship: Fear of the relationship with their wife completely changing
  • Time with Friends: Fear that a new child will put a halt to their social lives

 

Concern #1: Money

Money is a big-time legitimate concern, and you should be prepared. In a recent study, numbers show that it costs approximately $250,000 to raise a child from birth to 18 years old – not including college. For more details, see the articles from CNN Money and Huffington Post, and factor for inflation and cost of living adjustments.

One of the most critical decisions to be made are about child care: Daycare or a parent staying home. According to 2012 Census data, there are over 2 million stay-at-home dads.

The necessities over a one-year timeframe will cost over $10,000 in the first year. Baby Center has a great “baby cost calculator” on their site, which covers items such as: diapering, feeding, gear, other necessities, etc.

 Tips for being financially prepared:

  • Sit down with your partner and come up with a budget you can both live with
  • Cut out some of the unnecessary things in your budget to temporarily to prepare for upcoming expenses – start off expecting to spend ~$1,000/month in the first years of raising your child, and plan to save accordingly
  • Look into ways to make passive income
  • When having baby showers, ask your all guests to give you diapers
  • Set up an online savings account that deposits money automatically

 

Concern #2: Relationship Changes with Your Partner

The truth: Your relationship will change. But you both have to agree to you will roll with the changes. And the change can be for the better if you are prepared.

The divorce rate with kids is up to 49%.

There will be no sex for at least 6 weeks after birth and within the first year with your partner, especially if your partner is your wife who gave birth recently. The lull usually lasts 6-8 weeks, sometimes up to 12 weeks, especially with new moms.

Be patient with sex. For the first year, it will most likely die down a bit. But not to worry. If you follow the 3 tips we mention below, you should be doing the body rock before too long!

Tips to stay connected with your partner in the first year:

  • Have a scheduled monthly date night
  • Book your sitters out the next 3-4 months – have it planned for date nights
  • Talk without distractions for at least 10 minutes per day – turn off the TV and cellphones
  • Send random texts to each other throughout the day

 

Concern #3: Making Time for Friends/Social Expectations

For the first 3 months, neither you or your wife will most likely leave the house very often for social gatherings. Your schedules will be working around naps and feedings. Plus, you both won’t feel like it because you will likely be feeling tired.

After 4-12 months Tips:

  • Make an agreement that each of you is allowed one night per month to get out with friends: Have a guys night with the guys, and the girls can have a girls night – or mix it up by getting together with other couples or friends from both genders.
  • Once a month will be just enough to keep your friendships strong and keep each of you sane.

 

Making Time for Yourself

Make sure you don’t forget to make time for yourself. In addition to connection with your partner and with your friends/social relationships, you will need to take more steps for self care. Take care of yourself first, so that you have more to give.

Tips:

  • Sleep whenever possible — catching up with naps will help give you some rest, or even closing your eyes for a period of time will help to relax and refresh you
  • Exercise to keep your body and mind healthy and give you more energy
  • Eat healthy, real food and hydrate yourself to give yourself the proper energy you need
  • Meditate or do breathing exercises

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Links Mentioned In This Episode

 

Books Mentioned In This Episode

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

overcome weakness

How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness – GDP009

“How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness” Episode Overview

Larry and Shawn get personal on this episode and share some of the things they struggle with most and how they have learned to personally overcome weakness.

Key Take-Aways

  • Being aware of our weaknesses is the first step to conquering them
  • Implementing a strategy to conquer your weakness whenever you feel it start to arise

Example: Losing your patience – how to recognize it, control it, conquer it

Larry’s 1st Weakness: Patience

A lot of challenges in life, both at work and at home, can wear your patience down. You’ll feel tense and will exhibit tension through your facial expressions and actions. You can be irritable with your partner and with your kids. Check out this blog article on patience by Larry for more insight.

Solutions:

  • Take a few minutes before entering the house after a long day at work to reflect and breathe
  • Say a prayer: The powerful thing about prayer is it that you’re being intentional in your thoughts and actions

Larry says a prayer like this:

“Dear Lord, I don’t have it together today. I know I can’t do this alone. I need your help because without Your help, I won’t be successful. So, I pray that you will guide me to be the best version of myself for my family, and to turn a bad day into a good evening.”

  • Deep breathing
  • Listen to uplifting music
  • Listen to uplifting podcast

 

Shawn’s 1st Weakness: Low Tolerance for B.S.

Shawn tends to be short tempered with his older kids. He’s not patient with them when he knows they could be better at something he knows they can do. This crossed over into his professional career as well. Shawn has a hard time with people who don’t help themselves. However, Shawn has learned to recognize whether most actions or behavior are carried out from a place where the person lacks ability or lacks choice. He is more patient and tolerant when things are done out of lack of ability or choice, but he’s less tolerant when things can be more easily chosen and prevented. Realize that it’s not about you trying to win an argument or necessarily control a situation and be right. Own your feelings.

Solutions:

  • Have the intention
  • Have space to reflect
  • Be aware: Listen to the way you feel and the language you’re using
  • Be more compassionate and understanding
  • Ask yourself: “What is it that this person really wants? And how can I serve?”
  • See your kids/partner/another person: Look at them, listen to them, and remember how important they are to you
  • Tip that Larry learned from someone: Look into someone’s eyes and notice their eye color in the heat of the moment, which forces you take a pause — you can not only see that person, their emotion and the person that they are, but you can really recognize them and makes you able to respond instead of react.

 

Larry’s 2nd Weakness: Work-Life Balance

Larry works out of his house. His home is his office, and his office is his home. Men get wrapped up in the “provider mentality,” which is a hard to thing shut off, especially if they are the breadwinner and especially if they work from home. It can be a double-edged sword: You can be working to hours to provide for your family, but you’re also not able to provide for your time — quality time — to spend with family. You may be physically with your family, but your mind and emotions may not be there, particularly if you’re working while with them. Technology, specifically with emails and text messages, make you virtually reachable at all hours and increases the temptation to continue working. Larry shares an “a-ha!” moment he had with son. It’s a relatable, poignant story. Listen to the podcast to hear it.

Solutions:

  • Turn your phone off — or at least turn off the notifications and put the ringer on silent
  • Leave your phone and/or laptop in the car — or other safe place that isn’t so easily accessible

 

Shawn’s 2nd Weakness: Communication with Children’s Mothers

Shawn clarifies that he struggles in communicating with his ex (not his wife), which can be additionally challenging. He also tended to latch onto his kids more, out of fear, when he dropped them off to be with their mother. He was expecting problems and issues with his ex always being on “defense” when having a conversation with her. What complicates the situation even more is the fact that having children at a young age can cause additional frustration. Generally, the younger a parent is, the less prepared they are to have and raise a child. Plus, when you’re young, you’re still trying to figure out who you are as a person. It’s mostly about being patient and remaining appreciative about the process. There can also be resentment when there is positive change, particularly when one parent is able to move on and do well in life or seems to be doing better than the other parent is currently. Note: Don’t necessarily expect a positive response from your ex at first when you show and communicate positivity with her/him — you’ll likely catch them off guard.

Solutions:

  • Start playing offense and not defense — in other words, take the initiative: In a conversation, immediately look for ways to be helpful and to be of service towards your partner or ex-partner parent
  • Emote positive energy: Be truly caring and loving towards your partner or ex-partner parent as well as what they want and what their goals are, and then be more caring and patient with them
  • Show appreciation when things are difficult, and keep them top-of-mind: Even though you don’t like each other, you must find the things you appreciate about your partner or ex and find the goodness
  • Communicate goodness in every conversation possible, frequently — not just on Mother’s Day or holidays — especially when things are not well between you and your partner or ex, so that you can start to better transition into a much more valuable, healthier relationship

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

The Good Dad Project Car Karaoke Session

Check out the video of Larry and Shawn singing a tune in a car, complete with disco ball and colored lights. They’re mic’ed up, so the karaoke is official now — and they’re on some kind of fire!

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