gary chapman

Love Languages and Other Marriage Tips for the Pandemic with Gary Chapman


Gary Chapman is the author of one of the most popular books on marriage in the world, The 5 Love Languages. Today he talks about his new book, 5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage: …When You’re Stuck at Home Together.

Whether it has been challenging or delightful for you to be spending more time with your spouse during COVID-19, it’s the perfect time to troubleshoot and renew your love. If you have a good marriage, this will make it better. If you have a troubled marriage, this will tear down the walls and help you start rebuilding.

Get on the fast track to a loving, harmonious marriage with these 5 simple tips!

“Love is a choice you make every day.” – Dr. Gary Chapman

 

Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 12 million worldwide and has been translated into 50 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn.

5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage …When You’re Stuck at Home Together

Let Sheltering in Place Together be an Opportunity to Renew Your Relationship
The COVID-19 pandemic has affected all facets of life. The health crisis has overwhelmed medical workers, business closings have exacerbated financial stress, and—perhaps most unexpectedly—sheltering in place has placed married couples in endless, unprecedented proximity.

Whether this has been challenging or delightful for you and your spouse, let this time be an opportunity to renew your love. Learn how to do so in 5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage… When You’re Stuck at Home Together by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages®. This guide will help enrich your time stuck together by teaching you and your spouse how to:

  • Call a truce on throwing word bombs
  • Tear down emotional walls
  • Discover and speak each other’s love language
  • Learn the value of teamwork
  • Have a daily “sit down and listen” time

What You’ll Learn

  • Practice your spouse’s love language, not yours.
  • The biggest challenge is when your spouse’s love language is something you haven’t received as a child. But you can learn to speak them even if you didn’t receive them.
  • How to get back to loving each other intentionally
  • When we’re under stress, we throw verbal bombs at each other.
  • Verbal bombs burst inside the hearts of our spouses.
  • Call a truce, and vow not say anything negative for a week.
  • Replace negative comments with compliments.
  • Even if your spouse doesn’t agree to refrain from negative comments, call the truce on your side. It will automatically help.
  • Daily Sit Down and Listen Time (not Talk Time)—Ask your spouse to share 3 things that happened today and how they felt about them.
  • Even if you live together, you don’t know the person’s thoughts and how they feel about what’s going on.
  • Listening says, “I care about you.”
  • Listen long enough so you can honestly say that you understand. You do not have to agree.
  • Don’t criticize the way your partner feels.
  • Your spouse will be more likely to affirm you if you’ve taken the first step.
  • Use your energy to solve the problem instead of winning the argument.
  • How to be accommodating without becoming a doormat
  • If you win an argument with your spouse, you’ve created a loser. It’s no fun to live with a loser.
  • You’re a team. Each player on the team does something different. Use an attitude of service and play your strengths.
  • Love stimulates love.
  • There are no perfect husbands. When we fail in word or deed, we need to apologize to our spouses.
  • When we apologize and seek to speak her love language, it starts a process.
  • Don’t sit around waiting for a person to change. We as men, should make the decision to lead.
  • We can influence our spouse in a positive way using their love language.
  • Make a 6-month commitment to using these 5 tips.
  • When you start moving in a positive direction as a couple, you are likely to continue moving forward.

RELATED EPISODES:

Strong Fathers, Strong Kids with Meg Meeker

How to Argue and Other Marriage Tips with Zach Brittle

The 5 Love Languages and How They Made My Marriage Thrive

 


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5lovelanguages.com

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Aaron Kleiber

Grown @%$ Dad with Aaron Kleiber


Being a man, husband, and father can be a challenge, but if we take ourselves too seriously, we forget to stop and enjoy the good moments.

Laughter helps us release tension, cope with adversity, and approach life with a sense of fun. We need humor in our lives now more than ever. That is why today we have a comedian dad on the show!

Aaron Kleiber has been a professional stand-up comedian for 10 years and has just released his Amazon Prime special, Grown @%$ Dad.

Aaron developed his sense of humor as a coping mechanism through a rough childhood. He tells us how comedy has strengthened his ability to deal with people, endure difficult times, and improvise when faced with unexpected adversity. He also talks about how encouraging our kids’ sense of humor will help them be happier, more creative, and resilient.

Lighten up and let some laughter into your family!

Family is what you make it.

Aaron Kleiber

Aaron Kleiber has been entertaining his entire life — from climbing atop his grandmother’s coffee table as a child and being voted class clown in high school, to ‘acting’ in front of a camera and taking the stage at comedy clubs across North America today.Began his entertainment career producing, performing and writing indie films with high school friend Chris Preksta (Echo Torch, Pittbsburgh Dad), garnering multiple film festival appearances and awards. A short stint at Second City, Chicago and the birth of his first daughter, led him to stay in Pittsburgh and try the ‘solo sport’ of stand-up comedy in 2009.

His podcast, with over 190 episodes, ‘Grown Dad Business’ has been streamed over a million times and can be heard on iTunes and everywhere else you listen to podcasts.

A native of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Aaron has been a fixture in the city’s booming comedy scene for the last decade; producing and performing hundreds of shows in the area, including the Pittsburgh Improv, selling out multiple headline shows, and Arcade Comedy Theater, where he served as stand-up programmer for 5 years. Also was named “Best Local Comedian” by Pittsburgh Magazine three times.

Aaron continues to work and reside in Pittsburgh, PA with his wife and three children.

Grown @%$ Dad

Aaron Kleiber delivers jabs of romanticized parental myths with uppercuts of straight-up dad knowledge. From sun visors and dad nuggs to his no-holds barred take on annoying children’s television and Santa, Aaron’s truths resonate with parents and non-parents alike. He may not know all the answers, but what he does understand is delivered through his special brand of comedic storytelling.

What You’ll Learn

  • Aaron Kleiber didn’t know his biological father.
  • How he frames his relationship with his abusive stepfather
  • Why he hasn’t pursued his real father
  • The people who became father figures in his life
  • Creating his own band of brothers
  • Why Aaron says, “I feel like there is no life without my wife.”
  • How comedy reigns in his household
  • How to keep the family fun all the time
  • Teaching your kids the proper way to serve fart jokes
  • Watching your kid’s personality develop and influence their unique sense of humor
  • How comedy keeps you emotionally on your toes as a dad
  • Why Aaron and his wife don’t hide their feelings from their kids
  • Dealing with being out of work during the pandemic
  • How difficult the comedy business is
  • How to pivot when unexpected adversity strikes
  • How to deal with the hecklers in your life
  • Having the tools to fight when you’re back into a corner
  • Learning to deal with different people and personalities
  • Turning frustration into comedy
  • Aaron’s OCD Dad-vision
  • His goal to make really good human beings
  • The gift of not needing much to be happy
  • Aaron Kleiber’s motto, “Be Kind, Be Funny”

 

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Modern Rites of Passage for Today’s Boys

Creating a Rite of Passage Experience for Your Son

The Cool, Calm, and Connected Family with Arlene Pellicane

 


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Aaron Kleiber’s Links

aaronkleiber.com

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Amazon Prime Comedy Special

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Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos


How far have you evolved as a person? Are you still struggling with the same issues you’ve had all your life? Are you turning to vices to distract and soothe you? Do you avoid those hard conversations with people who are important to you?

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other aspects of your life, and if you haven’t confronted your demons, you will never be able to take your personal evolution to the next level.

Stefanos Sifandos is a relational alchemist, international speaker, author and change-maker dedicated to helping men create a life of meaning and purpose.

Not long ago, he was egotistical, dishonest, unfaithful, and above all, scared. He discovered that unresolved trauma from his toxic father was unconsciously and destructively influencing his behavior.

Today, Stefanos shares his journey into the depth of pain, and how we can drill to the truth of ourselves to become completely integrated and self-reliant.

He also reveals 6 steps that we can take to process, heal, and expand from the wounds of the past.

“Unconsciously, I used my childhood—my trauma, my wounding—as an excuse to be an asshole.”—Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos Sifandos

Stefanos is a trained educator and relationships expert with a background in behavioral science. He is passionate about leading people closer to their highest potential and each other.

Stefanos’ philosophy merges the best of eastern and western methodologies to promote spiritual balance and empower people in life and love. From trauma release to navigating the murky waters of modern masculinity, to helping women understand the men in their lives, he helps people escape negative patterns and cultivate a positive sense of self.

Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life; special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, elite fighters, and everyday people have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones.

What You’ll Learn

  • Stefanos had a tumultuous childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father.
  • He witnessed his dad and mom have a volatile relationship.
  • His life growing up was full of uncertainty, judgement, control, and pressure.
  • Many of us suppress our childhood memories.
  • Hate, anger, and fear are constrictive. Feeling is freeing, and freedom allows us to expand.
  • How Stefanos grieved his childhood, learned to accept his father, and let go of who he expected him to be.
  • Taking responsibility for dealing with your trauma.
  • Stefanos was hyper-aggressive, arrogant, and egotistical.
  • His business fluctuated and he had volatile relationships.
  • How he became aware of his unhealthy patterns
  • How men can stay on the path of ignorance or become aware and choose a new path
  • How Stefanos used physical challenges to begin growing his self-worth
  • 4 years ago, Stefanos was cleaning toilets and sweeping floors because he didn’t want the commitment of a business.
  • How we use the dopamine from vices to suppress emotions.
  • Other tools men use to cope—avoidance, projecting, codependency, and blame
  • Stefanos says that he had to go through multiple ego deaths to get to where he is.
  • Why “the masculine wants to be empty”
  • The one thing a woman needs most from a man is trustworthiness.
  • We can’t be trustworthy if we don’t do what we say.
  • Why you must have guides and support when you decide to go within.
  • You won’t solve your issues with the same perspective as you developed them.
  • Feeling is your way through the pain.
  • The 6 Step Cyclical Process of Healing
    • Depth-feeling – getting inside your emotions
    • Grounding – pull yourself out, immerse yourself in nature
    • Release – journal, empty your head
    • Reprieve – self-care, healthy pleasure
    • Introspection – stillness and silence
    • Social – reconnecting with friends and loved ones and being seen, respected, and appreciated
  • Why you should talk face to face with your woman.
  • Our issues with other people have little to do with them. We must deepen the connection to ourselves.
  • Confidence is a gate to self-worth.
  • How to improve your confidence level
  • Care less about what people think and more about being true to yourself.

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

 


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Stefanos Sifandos’s Links

stefanossifandos.com

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dad life overhaul

The Dad Life Overhaul


This one’s for the guy who is miserable with his life. Maybe your marriage isn’t working, you feel stuck in your job, and you can’t remember who you are anymore. Something’s got to give, but you don’t know what to do to make things change.

Craig Mills used to be miserable. He got into his profession by default, thinking it was what he was supposed to do. He neglected his needs and desires to accommodate an unhappy marriage. He lived an empty life and felt like a shell of a human being.

Today, Craig is blissfully remarried with a stepdaughter and a baby. He’s excited about life and has found the work that makes him comes alive.

How did he make this complete dad life overhaul? Don’t waste another minute being miserable. Listen in!

What You’ll Learn

  • Craig endured an acne problem growing up that traumatized him.
  • He didn’t feel deserving of love or that he belonged with people.
  • He lost his identity trying to please his first wife, but he doesn’t consider his first marriage a waste.
  • Craig knew there was more out there for him. His life needed an overhaul.
  • Follow your energy to the life you’re drawn to.
  • Stop and seriously think about what’s God’s purpose for you?
  • Craig spent two summers in a row “couch surfing” on strangers’ couches.
  • How to live your life without fear
  • Go a little outside of comfortable every single day.
  • What it is like taking on a stepchild
  • Having confidence in your ability to father
  • Our huge impact as dads
  • How a husband and wife develop each other
  • Become a better person for your spouse. Show her the kind of man you are.
  • How he and his wife play naked tag!

MENTIONED EPISODES:

Get Lit: Forget the Pressure to Find Your Why with Dominick Quartuccio

 


Protect your kids with the Bark App

cyberbullying

sexual content

suicidal ideation

online predators


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Craig Mill’s Links

Facebook

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alter ego todd herman

How to Create and Activate Your Heroic Alter Ego with Todd Herman – Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A


Todd Herman is the author of the wildly popular bestselling book, The Alter Ego Effect, in which he explains the fastest way to transcend fear and self-limiting beliefs by creating alter egos.

In an exclusive Q&A session with Dad Edge Alliance members, Todd reveals how to develop alter egos for the different playing fields of life, and how to activate our secret identities to instantly show up the way we want in the toughest situations. He also talks about how to introduce this method to our kids.

Todd Herman’s tools and strategies will blow your mind and change your life. Get ready to step into your heroic self!

Todd Herman and The Alter Ego Effect

What if the games you played as a child were the greatest gift to helping you achieve more today?

Before stage fright, impostor syndrome, emotional baggage, and the other dubious gifts of adulthood, everyone pretended to be a superhero, a favorite athlete, an inspiring entertainer, a nurse, a firefighter, a lion or whatever captured their imagination. And yet, that natural creativity is slowly squeezed out of us because we think it’s childish or it’s ‘time to grow up.’ Now, Todd Herman—backed by scientific research and countless stories from the real world—will show you how to tap into the human imagination to unleash a new version of yourself, ready-made to kick-ass.

Herman has been coaching champions in every field for over twenty years, and he’s helped them bring out their Heroic Self to transcend the forces pulling them into the Ordinary World. While anyone attempting ambitious things faces adversity, resistance and challenges, Herman, asks a new question: “Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?”

In The Alter Ego Effect, Herman shows you how to activate the Heroic Self already nested inside of each of us, through countless stories from salespeople, executives, entertainers, athletes, entrepreneurs, creatives and historical figures. He reveals that you may not be using those traits in the moments when you need them the most. From the creative entrepreneur who resisted their craft, to the accomplished military officer who wanted to be a warmer dad at home, Todd Herman’s clients have discovered there is no end to the parts of their lives they could improve by using Alter-Egos.

What You’ll Learn

  • The surprising secret to those who perform consistently at top levels—maintaining a level of playfulness.
  • The identities that can limit you
  • How to turn off your work mode or ambition mode when you get home for your kids and spouse
  • Changing the identity is the fastest way to shift performance.
  • Todd Herman’s Dad Alter Ego is based on a combination of Mr. Rogers and his own dad
  • How to use alter egos as a form of honor, not being fake
  • The most powerful way to trigger an identity change are things that we wear
  • Choosing totems, artifacts, and uniforms
  • The mistakes we make as parents when it comes to talking to our kids about their performance
  • The two most important things we can do for our children to encourage the right mindset
  • Why you must allow kids to choose their own alter egos
  • How to choose your behavior according to a future version of yourself
  • Why you should not protect your kids from feeling uncomfortable things. They must learn how to experience and process negative emotions.
  • Making sure that when we’re framing something for our kids, we’re not introducing a problem for them that wasn’t even in their world
  • 80% of our 1-on-1 time with kids ends at the age of twelve, so we must take advantage of spending time with them in their younger years.
  • Number one reason why kids don’t quit activity because they don’t want to lose the one on one car time with their parent
  • The difference between habits and rituals and why rituals are important for success


MENTIONED EPISODES:

The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman

3 Questions to Ask Your Kid Every Night


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Todd Herman

toddherman.me

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