How to Manage Your Thoughts and Emotions by Letting Sh*t Go with Todd Stottlemyre

Todd Stottlemyre

Todd Vernon Stottlemyre is an entrepreneur, business coach, author, and Major League Baseball player. During his youth, Todd watched his father, Mel Stottlemyre, pitch for the New York Yankees. Todd and his brothers grew up watching their father’s games, going to practices, and helping out with the team. Todd quickly fell in love with the game and went on to play 15 seasons of Major League Baseball as a pitcher. Stottlemyre played for the Toronto Blue Jays and was the starting pitcher for two world championships in 1992-1993. After Todd retired from baseball in 2002, he developed a passion for the stock market and co-founded a hedge fund in 2010. Since 2010, Todd has been co-running this business, writing books, and telling his story to listeners around the world.

Managing Your Thoughts and Emotions

Today, Todd is a husband, father, and self-made business and life coach who learned how to turn guilt into joy by one simple action – letting go. He shares valuable life lessons as well as emotionally captivating stories that demonstrate how he took control of his emotions and began living his life more intentionally.

Guilt can lead to the emotional baggage that is carried with us every day if we don’t learn to let it go. That guilt can drain the joy from our lives and bring us to dark places. Recognizing this guilt and letting go of your baggage can help you start the healing process with not only yourself but your relationships with others as well.

Todd recalls the guilt he carried with him for 12 years of his life and how he hated the man he saw in the mirror. Through a family loss, emotional baggage, his journey to fame, and the life-changing words of Harvey Dorfman, Todd was able to abolish the guilt he carried with him and live a more intentional, thoughtful life. 

 

What You’ll Learn:

Pursuing a Passion – Todd’s Dream Turns Into Reality

[9:43]

Todd introduces himself and talks about how his childhood led him to become a Major Leaguer and life coach.

[15:39]

Todd talks about how people’s opinions get in the way of other people’s dreams and it can ruin them. Todd and his brothers chose not to listen when people were constantly telling them that they would never be like their father.

[17:25]

Todd explains how we are born into the world of impossible, so why stop there? You have a whole life to live and you were born for greatness. 

[19:10]

OWN your dream. Don’t let someone else tell you what your dream is.

[22:10]

Todd talks about winning a second world championship with the Toronto Blue Jays. Todd looks like he is living the dream on the outside, but hates the guy staring back at him. He tells the story of his brother dying at 11 years old from Leukemia and how it affected his guilt for 12 years.

Turning Guilt Into Joy

[26:46]

Todd reached out to Harvey Dorfman, an American Mental Skills coach, for an hour meeting that turned into twelve. The two talked about Todd’s emotional baggage that was taking away from Stottlemyre’s happiness.

[29:52]

Stottlemyre mentions his book, “The Observer,” and the inspiration behind it.

[32:16]

Todd talks about how men become their pain if they bottle it up and never let it out. Yesterday’s emotional baggage becomes today’s emotional baggage if we carry it with us everyday.

[38:55]

Todd recalls focusing on things he couldn’t control and how it stole his joy.

Making the Most Out of Your Relationships

[44:30]

Todd emphasizes building wealth around God and your family. The path to true wealth is building upon your faith and relationships with your family, children, and others.

[51:57]

Todd’s rule for building relationships with others: Don’t expect things from other people, just appreciate them.

[52:26]

Emotion is the driver of all action.

[55:40]

“The Observer” book overview. Todd recalls the purpose of the book and why it was written the way it was.

1:06: 13 – New experiences are a valuable force because we have no know-how in the new experience, which teaches us valuable lessons

[1:07: 55]

COVID brought new perspectives on family, politics, race, and work.

[1:08: 26]

Do things with your family that you’ve never done before and experience new things. This builds upon your relationship with your family.

[1:09:05]

Experiencing a loss can be difficult. However, learning to let go and heal can allow our hearts to open up to new possibilities and feel their presence in our lives.

RELATED EPISODES:

How to Execute Major League Achievement—Exclusive Dad Edge Alliance Q&A with Todd Stottlemyre

Relentless Success Through Triumph and Tragedy with Todd Stottlemyre

Breaking the World of Impossible with Todd Stottlemyre

 


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Todd Stottlemyre’s Links

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brad lea

The Hard Way with Brad Lea


In this episode, we are excited to talk to Brad Lea, the founder of Lightspeed VT, the most advanced interactive training platform on the market. He is a soon-to-be billionaire and the host of the Dropping Bombs podcast. Brad is also the author of the Real Deal and has a new book coming out, The Hard Way. He’s also been featured in Forbes, Huffington Post, Inc. Magazine, and is a regular guest on several top-rated podcasts.

Brad talks about how he blew it as a father and how he’s leveled up as a parent, raising his daughters to be strong, confident women. He tells us how to build confidence and shift our mindsets by accumulating knowledge. He also talks about how to rack up wins to replace old patterns and crush self-sabotage and procrastination once and for all!

Brad Lea learned the hard way in business, marriage and fatherhood. Take advantage of the wisdom bombs he drops in this podcast!

Brad Lea

People call Brad “The Real Brad Lea” because he keeps it real no matter what. He is a successful businessman and philanthropist. He is best known as the founder and CEO of LightSpeed VT, a global leader in web-based training and communication platforms with headquarters in Las Vegas, NV. Brad is continually striving to enhance the technology to better serve his clients.

Engaging, authentic and dynamic, Brad is passionate about helping people succeed. In fact, he’s created the Dropping Bombs podcast to help people succeed in Life and in Business.

He’s dropping bombs on a wide-range of topics that educate, inspire and deliver results. Brad’s bombs are explosive strategies you can leverage to obliterate any obstacle getting in the way of your personal or business success. Listen to the Official Brad Lea Podcast for exclusive content, success strategies rooted in real-life experiences and stories from the front lines. Brad’s dropping bombs. Listen up or run for cover!

What You’ll Learn

A hobby that brings joy to Brad

[5:55]

Usually, Brad likes to chill out. His off time is literally spent chilling, not thinking, not deciding, and not doing much. Brad also loves fishing.

[7:53]

His favorite sport growing up was football and baseball.

 

Brad’s advice to his 18-year-old self

[9:38]

His advice would be to start reading voraciously on a regular basis, non-fiction, self-help books—read, read, read. And then the next advice would be don’t worry about what other people think and invest money more wisely.

 

Game changer books for Brad

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. How to Win Friends and Influence People with Dale Carnegie. Think and Grow Rich.

 

Childhood

[12:28]

His dad was the kind of children-should-be-seen-and-not-heard type of dad. Their parents got divorced when he was two. Their mom got left with all of the kids. She put four of them in a foster home and kept the brand new baby, which was his little brother.

[13:47]

His father didn’t come to any sporting events. He didn’t give Brad many life lessons. He let his kids figure things out for themselves.

[15:48]

Being left alone, nobody loved Brad. Nobody gave him any affection, but that is what taught him the most. It taught him how to survive. It taught him how to fend for himself. Resourcefulness is what his father taught him by leaving him alone.

[18:27]

He’s glad he grew up the way he grew up because he believes that’s why he is the way right now. He’s very resourceful. He can survive anywhere. He can do anything. It builds confidence and self-worth to where you’re not afraid.

 

What Brad learned early on that changed the game for him as a father

[24:01]

Brad teaches them to be independent, creative, resourceful, and kind. That’s the main thing. Just be a good person.

 

Things Brad learned about how to operate within his marriage

[30:14]

A lot of times, we tend to forget that our wives are our partners. Trust and communication are the backbones of any relationship.

[34:08]

People in a relationship where there’s flirting and there’s cheating and there’s alcohol-fueled rages, you’re not being a good dad. The right dad would respect himself and his wife and/or partner and their children and do what’s best for each.

[36:17]

If you’re not happy where you’re at, then you have to change what you’re doing. And in order to do that, you have to change what you believe. And in order to change what you believe, you have to enter new information into the equation. You cannot have new beliefs with the same information.

[38:01]

Everybody deserves love. Everybody deserves respect. Everybody deserves to be in a good relationship. And a good relationship is based on communication and trust and respect.

 

The rhino symbol on Brad’s book “The Hard Way” 

[41:53]

The rhino symbolizes just being hard to stop, being unstoppable. But at the end of the day, the book is about lessons.

[44:01]

Brad wrote the bool to share lessons of his life that are going to really help people turn their life around and accelerate.

[46:40]

There are so many people out there that are trying to be something they’re not or they’re afraid to be who they are in fear of the judgment of others. So if there’s one most valuable lesson, it’s be yourself. That’s when you will find true happiness.

 

How might we best do that without it sabotaging us?

 [48:16]

First, you have to make a commitment to do so because otherwise, it can backfire. Spend some alone time and get real with yourself. You start out by forgiving yourself for all the bullshit and the procrastination and the nonsense you’ve put yourself through and others. Second, you got to commit to do what you say you’re going to do. Number three, you rack up the wins. You have to replace all of those memories, all those years of lies, cheats, steals, let downs, you have to replace them.

 

Tactics in his daily life

[53:51]

Gratitude is a magical ingredient that most people don’t understand, but if you are grateful, that is the most critical part. So every morning, Brad wakes up, trains himself to do it. Puts a sign on his wall that said, congratulations, you get another day. Then he focuses on four things:

  1. Health
  2. Relationships
  3. Money
  4. Seeking knowledge

[57:55]

Focus on those four things every single morning and that will start to build confidence. You’ll start to become a little bit more knowledgeable. You’ll start to shift your beliefs. You’ll start to grow as a human being, and you’ll start to reach that potential that everybody has.

RELATED EPISODES:

Real AF Self-Discipline with Andy Frisella

No Excuses Fatherhood with Wes Watson

How to Raise Confident, Mentally Tough Daughters with Emily McCarthy


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Brad Lea’s Links

lightspeedvt.com

droppingbombs.com

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Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

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wes watson

No Excuses Fatherhood with Wes Watson


This show is explicit, and it will be offensive to some listeners. But the message is important. Today’s guest is Wes Watson, and he is not going to sugar-coat his advice. Prepare to hear a lot of f-bombs.

Wes Watson is an ex-convict, motivational speaker, and is the founder of personal coaching firm, Watson Fit, which aims to liberate people from mental prisons to help them achieve their health goals and beyond.

Today, Wes talks about his journey from penitentiary to personal development. He reveals the mindsets and vices that are keeping us stuck. He also teaches us how to exercise self-discipline, practice constructive self-talk, and commit to behaviors that will transform us into the men, husbands, and fathers we want to become.

Are you ready to stop making excuses and start investing in yourself?

What You’ll Learn

Loyal Family

[12:42]

Wes appreciates his family’s loyalty. He is especially grateful for his dad and his work ethic. He adapted from his father how to be committed in anything that he does.

Inspiration as a Life Coach

[14:13]

Wes believes in the saying that “acquire what we admire.” His dad inspired him to be the man he is today, to be a hard worker, and to have a large physique.

Work Ethic

[15:37]

People are what they eat. However, there is a misunderstanding about how to allocate the macronutrients in one’s body properly. Wes’s aim in his program is to help people understand the correct macros. Everything is a test of purpose over pleasure. Therefore, Wes makes sure that there is a deep intention through diet exercise to mindset training.

Motivation

[17:57]

Wes’s aim is for fathers to develop their internal attributes and knowledge with their own intensity and delivery as role models to their children.

[18:48]

Despite Wes’s dad being a hard worker, Wes always felt that they were struggling financially, and his parents weren’t able to conceal that aspect. That’s why Wes felt the need to come up with a way to earn money to pay the bills.

Emotional and Mental State

[22:20]

Foster the body and mind through self-help books and apply quotes to everyday situations, especially in difficult ones.

[22:47]

Reflect as you project while cultivating yourself with a high self-love level and self-worth to see others’ love. Stay diligent and structured as your weakness comes through.

Changing one’s mindset

[30:54]

Wes is a firm believer in reading quotes to change the stream of consciousness. 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class is his go-to reads to develop his mindset.

[44:31]

Seek personal growth by giving up on bad vices, be grateful every day, and focus on putting everything into what you do every day. Find something you love more than your bad habits.

RELATED EPISODES:

Wake Up Warrior with Garrett J. White

Real AF Self-Discipline with Andy Frisella

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop


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Wes Watson’s Links

weswatson.com

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Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we’ve lost our patience. 

how to have more patience

Stop Reacting and Start Living

Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.

Get the Patience eCourse Plus 1 FREE Month in the Dad Edge Alliance

Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE


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Stop Being the “Nice Guy” with Dr. Robert Glover

Many of us take pride in being the “nice guy.” But could being the nice guy be ruining our lives?

We are all probably guilty of Nice Guy Syndrome on some level. We sometimes give only to receive in a passive attempt to get what we want without directly asking for it. We avoid conflict to get the acceptance, validation, approval, and even the sex that we need. Some of us might not even realize we suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome and wonder why we are anxious and unhappy.

Dr. Robert Glover is back on The Dad Edge for a discussion we all need to hear. He talks about how to stop being dependent on external things for our happiness. He shows us how to reclaim our identities after losing ourselves in relationships. He also explains why we need to get comfortable with our existential fears to become empowered men.

Stop being a nice guy and start living true to yourself!

If you have to give up anything that’s important to you to be in a relationship, it’s going to create a toxic environment.

Dr. Robert Glover

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males. Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men’s professional careers and intimate relationships. Dr. Glover is the creator of Dating Essentials for Men, the director of TPI University, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Washington. Dr. Glover divides his year between Bellevue, WA and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

What You’ll Learn

  • Nice Guy Syndrome, at its core, is codependency.
  • Borrowed functioning means your wellbeing depends on the happiness of those around you.
  • It’s an anxiety and shame-based disorder. You manage people and situations to avoid anxiety or feelings of worthlessness.
  • Losing ourselves in relationships is not healthy, even though we’ve been taught that it’s noble to throw ourselves on the sword for our wives and kids.
  • The difference between fusion and differentiation
  • What most of us call “intimacy” is losing ourselves in another person so much that there is no distinct otherness anymore.
  • Fusion kills sexual passion.
  • The “Alpha Male” in human society who takes all is a myth. Things (including women) were shared.
  • Marriage emerged much more recently with the patriarchy.
  • Up until 100 years ago, marriage was an economical arrangement. Romantic love is a new idea.
  • Pair bonding in modern times doesn’t work well for happiness.
  • What you can count on in a relationship is that your childhood baggage is going to reveal itself.
  • Tension is healthy. Anytime there is tension, there is growth.
  • It used to take a whole tribe to meet our needs. Expecting one person to fulfill all our needs is impossible and unfair.
  • Differentiation is two complete adults who choose to be together.
  • If we are acting as an independent person, we are more attractive to the opposite sex.
  • Almost no one is sexually monogamous, even if they aren’t physically cheating on their spouse.
  • Men give up control in their marriage and then get resentful. Then we sneak around to get our needs met.
  • Friends are often the first thing men sacrifice.
  • Angst from being disconnection from our tribe
  • It’s human nature to try to find connection because we’re afraid of disappearing into nothingness. Practice getting comfortable with existential fears to be more self-reliant.
  • Men load up their to-do lists, don’t get everything done, go to bed stressed, and wake up the next day with even more to do. If we stay busy, we don’t have to feel anything.
  • Learn to be with stillness.
  • Schedule unscheduled time. Build chunks of time into your day for unscheduled things and things that matter.
  • Appreciate life right now. Today is the best day of your life.

 

RELATED EPISODES:

Love Languages and Other Marriage Tips for the Pandemic with Gary Chapman

No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover

Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Their Needs Met

 


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Dr. Robert Glover’s Links

drglover.com

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art of masculinity

The Art of Masculinity with Johnny Elsasser


If we don’t know who we are or what’s important to us, we will be driven by outside forces and will lack the strength to show up in our lives with purpose and integrity.

This can lead to a feeling of being lost, powerless, trapped, and alone. Worst of all, it can cause us to dislike the man in the mirror—if we can even recognize him at all.

Today’s guest is Johnny Elsasser. He is a former Army Ranger, a men’s leadership coach, and the host of The Art of Masculinity podcast. He is going to tell us how to create a Masculine Blueprint so that we can identify what kind of men we want to become. In living by our own code, we will always know who we are and where we stand.

Feel the power of living as the person you really are.

Johnny Elsasser

John served in the Elite 2nd Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment with 4 combat tours between Iraq and Afghanistan, and protected the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq for 5 years out of Baghdad. He lost his own sense of purpose when he came back to the U.S. full time and became depressed and alone. This emptiness ended in divorce.

Today, John’s found new purpose in starting his own podcast to shed the light of how alpha men struggle and how they can together. He’s been featured in podcasts such as Tuff Love, Destined to Be, Think Yourself Healthy, and others to teach men how to build a strong foundation in authentic masculinity. John Elsasser is truly on a mission to help as many men as possible own their masculinity in the way that honors them.

The Art of Masculinity

Through a quickly evolving world we are living in today, most men were shown at a young age to act, feel, and conduct their lives in a certain way. The Art of Maculinity helps empower men to embrace both forms of energy—the Masculine and Feminine—so that they can step out of their hard shells and create a life where there’s equal strength and toughness while still retaining fluidity and softness.

What You’ll Learn

  • How to transition out of occupations you identify with
  • If you lack direction, you will succumb to dark places.
  • You feel less than others when you don’t know who you are
  • Look into your subconscious. You’re acting on things you didn’t choose.
  • Knowing who you are, you can through anything.
  • Live and pay attention to the journey. You are having experiences you should be enjoying.
  • Drop the ego to evolve.
  • The toxicity of the bravado mentality
  • Your Masculine Blueprint:
    • Where were your values? Do they serve you right now? Keep the ones that still hold true. Get rid of the ones you don’t need anymore.
    • Look at whom you admire. What traits do they have?
    • Combine your old values that still serve you with the new ones you want.
    • Choose 3-5 of these traits to define the man you truly want to be.
  • You will never have regrets if you live as who you are. You will always love the man in the mirror.

Your Masculine Blueprint Challenge

What is your masculine blueprint? Share it on Instagram and tag us @jonnyelsasser and @thedadedge and we’ll share it in our story!


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johnnyelsasser.com

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LIVE LEGENDARY

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