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Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

As men, we hate to admit when we don’t know all the answers. We don’t want to seem weak and vulnerable, but fathers need to ask for help sometimes, and here is why.

None of us want to be at a loss when it comes to what to do about job struggles and relationship issues. We especially don’t want to be failing as fathers. Parenting is an intimate thing. That’s why it’s so difficult to ask for help when we need it. But we need to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. We can’t do it all alone and we don’t have to.

We’ve had the honor of interviewing several Navy SEALs on The Good Dad Project. The SEALs are one of the most successful organizations in the world. They are elite performers who accomplish amazing goals in the most stressful and dangerous situations. How do they successfully complete these extreme missions?

As a team.

They work together solving problems and helping each other, and would not be able to do what they do without their teammates by their side.

Just striving to be a better father and man means you are part of an elite group of men too. Join a local group, a mastermind group, or our Dad Edge Private Facebook Group. Seek out a mentor or a friend. Find a place where you feel safe and ask for help.

 

Referenced Episode: Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


SEALed Mindset Exclusive GDP Offer


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Extra bonus: For FREE new lesson click here>  .com


The #1 Reason Kids Quit Sports is Because of the Coach.

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better man

How Your Tribe Will Make You a Better Man with Ryan Michler

Ryan Michler is the creator of the Order of Man Community and Podcast, which teaches men how to live with purpose, achieve self-mastery, and create a legacy. Today he tells why it’s important for men to become part of a tribe and how that tribe will help you become a better man.

Ryan Michler and the Order of Man

Ryan Michler’s father left when he was three-years-old. His first step dad was an alcoholic, and though he wasn’t abusive, he was not present as a parent. His second stepfather was successful, but emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative. Still, Ryan didn’t didn’t know what a good dad was supposed to be, so he didn’t know what he was missing. It wasn’t until high school when he saw how his friends’ dads’ behaved that he became aware of the void in his life.

This lack of a father caused Ryan to suffer from a lack of confidence and self-esteem issues. He wanted to be liked and accepted by everyone and changed himself to fit in. After his first marriage failed, he endured the darkest time of his life. He knew he wasn’t operating like a man should. This convinced him to go to work on improving himself.

Now Ryan Michler has been married for twelve years and is a father of four kids. As a dad who grew up without a true father figure, he saw a huge need for learning about what it means to be a man. He started Order of Man to form a tribe of men who can learn from each other and support one another.

Why do men need a tribe?

Women are there for us in a nurturing way, but sometimes we tough love and the insights of other men who have gone what we’ve gone through. Men get emotionally attached to their situations and decisions, it’s difficult to look at our own problems objectively. We need a third-party perspective to give us advice when our thoughts and feelings are clouding our judgement.

How does a tribe work?

Men are raised to be self-reliant and wary of people. We hate to expose our weaknesses or admit when we’re not on top of everything. A tribe is a safe place to share fears and worries about subjects we don’t normally talk about. When we’re going through a time of uncertainty and weakness, we can turn to those with the qualities we’re lacking and learn from them. When we’re feeling strong in life, we can help others by sharing how we’ve overcome a similar experience.

How do we find a tribe?

Operating in packs is how men thrive. To be strong, we need to tie into other people, but it’s up to us to seek out a tribe and be consistent. Ryan suggest dipping your toe in the water. Look at your immediate circle. Who is doing well in areas you’re struggling with? Ask for advice where you see strength in others. Share something light and then build on that. You can also start by joining an online tribe like Order of Man and The Good Dad Project.

Ryan Michler’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Don’t ever use your kids and family as an excuse not to take care of yourself.

This sounds selfish at first, but it’s actually the most unselfish thing you can do. If you’re constantly draining yourself, you won’t have the mental or physical energy to be a good dad or husband. Begin burned out all the time will build resentment and put a strain on your marriage.

Ryan recommends carving out a time to get together with other men doings something you enjoy. Schedule it in advance. Communicate it to your wife and family so they are in on it you won’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. He also says it won’t work if you just go through the motions. Give your attention fully to the activity so you’re invigorated and mentally restored when you come home. Then you’ll have refilled your tank so you can serve others again.


RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ryan Michler

Website:

orderofman.com

Podcast:

Order of Man

Social Media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

 

how to love a spouse with cancer

How to Love a Spouse with Cancer with Gene Villeneuve

Gene Villeneuve shares his experience with the very difficult subject.

Today on the Good Dad Project, we have Gene Villeneuve, a successful business man who lives in Paris with his wife and two daughters. Last year, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and they have endured 11 months of emotional exhaustion as she has undergone treatment.

It’s more than likely we’ll all watch one of our loved ones facing a deadly illness during our lives. Gene talks about dealing with the pain and uncertainty of watching a spouse go through cancer treatment while keeping his career in balance and still being a good dad to his kids.

Three things he said were crucial to helping him know how to love a spouse with cancer.

1. Create a community of support.

Husbands of cancer patients tend to feel isolated and alone, but you will also need help. Just because you’re not the one with cancer, doesn’t mean you don’t need support.

2. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Self-care might feel selfish during this time, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t be strong for your family. Exercise, good rest, and downtime are needed to restore your mental and physical reserves.

3. Listen to what your spouse needs.

As men, we might have a tendency to worry about filling in the practical gaps, like the keeping up with dirty laundry or washing the dishes in the sink. But in reality, a spouse with cancer is frightened and worried. They need to express themselves, and you need to listen to them on deeper level. Then you can love them in the way they need to be loved during this time.

Gene says he now loves his wife more than ever. He says facing a situation like this makes us realize the things we may have taken for granted. We must ask ourselves, what are the things most important to us? What can we do to show that appreciation?

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Gene Villeneuve’s website – BusinessHealthResults.com

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

GENE AKA "JOHNNY DEPP" :)

GENE AKA “JOHNNY DEPP” 🙂

choose your friends wisely

Choose Your Friends Wisely – GDP004

“Choose Your Friends Wisely” Episode Overview

Larry Hagner and Shawn Stevenson talk about how important it is to choose your friends wisely. Listen as Shawn and Larry share knowledge gained at a Tony Robbins event: Jim Rohn’s “The Law of Averages” when it comes to your circle of friends. Shawn and Larry also share their background and talk about what led them to coming together to create The Good Dad Project: Teaching men to strive to be better every day, living with purpose, on purpose.

Key Take-Aways

Surround yourself with positive people who will lift you up, support you, and keep you accountable. Take inventory of the five people with whom you spend the most time; they are the ones who are the highest influencers of your life.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

These people can be either energy boosters or drainers, and they can either have a positive or negative (even toxic) influence on your life. You’re a product of the average of the five friends or five people with whom you hang around. You’re a product of your environment, but you’re also a creator of your environment.

Are the individuals you have relationships with serving or disserving you and your kids, from a non-selfish perspective? Are these people exhibiting traits that you wish to see mirrored in your own behavior and in your children’s behavior? Are these people safe in your life?

Choose your peers and your company wisely. They can be friends or even family members. Be conscious of who you let into your life and what level of intimacy you allow them to reach. Distance yourselves from toxicity, although you don’t have to necessarily cut ties with these people.

Be the First One to Step Up

Seek out a support network. Be willing to open up honestly about your struggles: work-life balance; marital issues; work related issues; children related issues; any issues that we as men face. Ask for feedback and advice on how your friends and dealing with the issues you’re facing.

That other person will open up to you: He/She will give advice yet also ask for advice. What you will find in that conversation is common ground, whether it’s the same issue you’re struggling with or another issue.

You’ll discover something a lot deeper than the surface small talk that most people normally engage in. Go further than what most men feel isn’t “appropriate” to share. You can create a safe place to go to have a real conversation. You’ll create a whole new world of having a richer connection with someone in a very positive way, a more meaningful friendship and deeper level of trust.

Challenge: Find at least that one good friend with whom to have a deeper conversation.

Be Strong Enough to Be Vulnerable

Sharing is therapeutic in itself. Sometimes we can find solutions to our problems by talking about them openly with others, especially with another man since they can innately better relate to us in general. Vulnerability is a skill. People relate to vulnerability and imperfection, not the persona of a perfect life because life is imperfection. Instantaneously, people feel more connected with you and have a better rapport with you. They feel like they know you and can build a deeper level of trust.

Men tend to be problem solvers, scanning the databases of their minds for information and past experiences to help. Women tend to be more nurturers, wanting to talk it out and be heard. Of course, these are just generalizations and not necessarily true for an individual person.

When listening, what would be beneficial is to ask your friend or partner: Do you want me to listen, or do you want me to fix it for you? Be willing to also be a supportive person to others.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Perfect Supplements, our Good Dad Project Sponsor

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