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dads develop patience

3 Secrets for Dads to Develop Patience and Reduce Stress

Dads are pulled in a thousand different directions each day. We are constantly trying to meet the demands of our work and family life, and we seldom reach out for help. This leads to pressure and frustration. Today I list 3 secrets I use to develop patience and reduce stress.

In this episode I tell you how to enhance your patience by:

  1. Making self-care a priority.
  2. Identifying your core values and finding your purpose.
  3. Joining a community of like-minded men like the Dad Edge Facebook group.

 


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Dad Edge Facebook Community

Have you joined the Dad Edge Facebook group? We have over 3,000 members from all over the world discussing what it means to be a dad, husband, entrepreneur, and how we can be the best versions of ourselves. Join us here!

RESOURCES

Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

courage

How to Feed Your Courage and Starve Your Fear

COURAGE is something every dad needs more of…the question becomes:  “How do we develop more of it?”

We can’t out run stress. It’s simply a fact of our daily lives. The idea that we “eliminate” stress from our life sounds great, but that means cutting out the parts that are most meaningful. Think about it: the parts of our lives that make us who we really are come from areas that bring stress: our work, our kids, our significant others. These aren’t “bad” stressors, but they are part of our lives. It’s not a matter of cutting these areas out, but a matter of how we handle them.

 

Always Darkest Before the Dawn

 

Truth. All too often, we get caught up in the negativity of our circumstances and fail to see what good might actually come out of them. Our mind will take us where we lead it. If we choose to ask questions like “why did this happen to me?” or “what did I do to deserve this?” we certainly will find ourselves at the end of a self-destructive spiral of pity and self-loathing. Yuck, we’ve all been there. But, if we choose instead to view a circumstance from a state of abundance instead of scarcity, we just might see that our “negative” circumstances have a lot to teach us.

 

What are You Feeding?

 

Our attitude about stress is all about what we choose to feed: fear or courage. We’ve talked about feeding the Fear or the Courage Wolf before and this is exactly what we have been encouraging. Choosing to nurture the Courage Wolf through affirmation statements gives us the strength to get through the circumstance and persevere. Whereas feeding the Fear Wolf only strengthens our stress, making us anxious and eventually paralyzing us from taking any positive action.

 

Choosing the Statement

 

It doesn’t have to be complicated. A simple phrase like, “I’ve got this” in moments of even the greatest doubts will trigger our minds to think in a state of positive action. Navy Seals even use these statements to get through their most difficult moments in training and the field (see the Mark Divine episode for more!). Like anything in life, how we confront stress is how our mind and body will respond. What it boils down to is the fact that we simply don’t give our minds enough credit for what they are really capable of.

 

It’s About the Questions

 

And what it also comes down to are the questions we ask ourselves. Really, how positive is it to ask ourselves, “what did I do to get here?”. After this question, your mind will tell you EXACTLY what you did to get “here”. Because our minds go where we ask them to go, we tend to lead them down a negative path with this line of questioning. A better, more positive question might be, “what can I learn from this event?”. Through this type of questioning we will find ourselves better poised to handle whatever the stressor might be and learn from it for the next time around.

 

We’ve just touched the surface here. Knowing that we, as men, face the societal challenge to be strong and unbending, we tend to shy away from anything that others might perceive as “weak”. But instead of suffering in silence from these stressors, learning to reprogram how we deal with them will only strengthen our relationships and better our lives.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 THE FLOW CHART MENTIONED

courage

champion blueprint

The Dad Champion Blueprint with Jeff Spencer

Episode Overview:

Dr. Jeff Spencer has consulted and provided guidance for top-performers in sports and business. As a former Olympian himself, he’s spent a career studying the science of success and helping others implement those principles in their lives with his Champion’s Blueprint training. Shawn and I had an opportunity to talk to Jeff about how the Champion’s Blueprint and Fatherhood go hand-in-hand.

Champion Blueprint for Fatherhood

As men, we don’t like to stop and ask for directions.  Afterall, we are problem solvers!  We are wired to hunt, gather, and simply figure stuff out…sometimes…even if it’s the hard way.  The funny thing about us men is that we love directions.  We love instructions.  We love the “how-to guides.”  However, it’s the “asking part” that we don’t really like.  Most men want direction.  We want guidance.  We want a path to follow.  However, we don’t want to ask for it.

 

Discovering our Own Champion Blueprint

Every dad possesses greatness at some level even if we don’t realize it.  There truly is no distinct roadmap for successful parenting.  However, we can stack the odds in our favor if we simply take time to tap into our greatness and develop our strengths.  

 

Dr. Jeff’s Links

Website:  www.drjeffspencer.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/jeff.spencer1

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jeffspencer

Blog:  http://drjeffspencer.com/blog/

Champion’s Blueprint:  http://drjeffspencer.com/the-champions-blueprint

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

 

 

 

fear as father

How to Defeat the Number One Fear as a Father – GDP031

Episode Overview:

In this episode, Larry and Shawn go over some key takeaways from Larry’s Amazon #1 Best Seller, “The Dad’s Edge.”

Key Takeaways:

  •             Learn how to overcome fear as a father
  •             Discover how fear as a father are based on the meaning we give them
  •             Learn how to rewrite your meaning and perspective
  •             Discover how you can take your game to the next level

How to Defeat Fear as a Father

You what really makes us miserable at times?

The answer may surprise you.  It’s you.  That’s right.  It’s ourselves.  It’s me.  It’s you.  It’s absolutely positively ourselves.

Unfortunately, so many of us have negative inner chatter. As men and Dads, we have a tendency to put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves. We can’t screw up. Not even once. We need to be exceptional. No, we need to be more than exceptional. We need to be perfect.

I want you to take a moment and really think about your daily inner chatter. What do you say to yourself quietly? Do you build yourself up or tear yourself down?  Learning how to defeat fear is absolutely critical to the success of our dad journey.

Most of us have a voice that can tear us down

  •             It’s the voice that constantly tells you that you are doing it all wrong
  •             It tells you that you are not enough
  •             You are not a lovable person

  •             You don’t deserve something or someone
  •             You can’t

  •             You never will

  •             You aren’t good at your job

This inner self-talk not only destroys our enjoyment of being a good dad, but all aspects of life.  Your inner self-talk can magnify our fear as a father.

Our Worst Fear as a Father

I will let you in on a secret: There is one ultimate fear we humans share. It is a fear that we all have in common whether you are a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a grandparent, an employee, or a business owner. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do. We ALL share the same ultimate fear that is so incredibly deeply rooted. If you look at “things” in life that we are afraid of, it literally all boils down to just ONE CORE FEAR.

And here it is:

“THE FEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH”

Think about it for a moment: Take anything that you are afraid of or something that is causing you stress. For instance, think about your job for a minute. What really scares you or stresses you out about your job?

You might say:

  • “It’s the workload…it’s hard for me to keep up.” 

  •  “I lost a customer or a big client. How will I make up for that?” 

  •  “I am afraid of making a mistake and being let go.” 
  •   “My boss is always all over my case.” 


Then ask yourself why you stress about that in particular? It’s because at the root of that perceived stress there is an underlying fear that “YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH AT YOUR JOB AND YOU WON’T BE NEEDED and THEREFORE LET GO.”

Fear as a father and troubled relationships

Think about a troubled relationship. What really scares and causes you stress about a troubled relationship? Certain things may come to mind such as: 


  •        “We fight about everything.” 

  •        “I feel like I am being taken for granted.” 

  •        “I feel I am not respected.” 

  •        “I don’t get the affection that I truly desire.” 

  •        “I don’t get the recognition and appreciation that I deserve.” 


All of these perceived stressors can be rooted in one common FEAR: ”Ultimately, I am not enough for this other person, they won’t love me, and will leave.” 
Are you beginning to see a pattern here? 


The Solution to Defeating your Worst Fear as a Father:

In order to change this debilitating fear that all humans share, we must do two things.

First, we have to change the story we keep telling ourselves over and over.  We have to re-write our story of defeat and replace it with a winning mentality.

The real question is how to defeat fear?

Second, you need to develop a daily and weekly strategy to sharpen the necessary skills for a fulfilling life and fatherhood journey.

Check out this episode and grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge for several solutions that will empower several aspects of your life…not just fatherhood…but all areas.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

 

How to Improve Patience Drastically Even on Your Worst Day – GDP013

“How to Improve Patience Drastically Even on Your Worst Day” Episode Overview

I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of Dads over the past 2 years since I have started The GDP. Specifically, I have done several “Dad Workshops” over the past two years.  The Dad Workshops are all about implementing 5 strategies in our lives to help us enjoy the journey of fatherhood. There is always one really important trait that almost all men wish they had more of: ”patience.”

Key Take-Aways

In this episode, Shawn and I go over:

  • Internal and External Factors that can have a devastating effect on our level of patience

  • How to recognize our queues during the day where we have the least amount of patience

  • Ultimately, strategies that will improve patience no matter what challenge you face

How to Improve Patience by Recognizing External and Internal Challenges

External factors are literally anything and everything that happen outside our own minds. Meaning, there are several challenges that anyone of us can face on a daily basis that are outside of our control that can wreak havoc on our level of patience. These external factors can be: disciplinary stress/challenges with our kids, unsatisfactory job, challenges with our marriages/relationships, etc.

Internal factors have everything to do with how we respond to those challenges. Meaning, internal factors are the voices inside our head that love to mess with us. For example, it’s the voice that asks:

  • “Why can’t I handle this?”

  • “Shouldn’t I be stronger than this?”

  • “I must be a terrible father if I can’t better than this.”

We have all been there and it can be such a challenge.  However, there are strategies to improve patience in any given situation.

Strategy #1: How to Improve Patience by Knowing Your Triggers

For the most part, Dads have 2 times of the day when our patience can be the lowest. Morning can be a tough time of day because we usually go straight from a peaceful slumber and dive right into the challenges of the day. Time and time again, we have heard people say, “I’m just not a morning person.” For folks like that, this usually means the patience level is a bit thin when they first rise.

Solution: Believe it or not, if you are not a morning person, the best way to get your day started on a positive note is to rise 30-60 minutes early. Reason being, you should get up and do something positive just for yourself to get your mind in the right place. For some, going to the gym and exercising is just what we need. For others, it can be reading, praying, or simply watching 30 minutes of SportsCenter. The point is this, it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it is something you enjoy and it is positive. Studies have statistically proved that people who start their day earlier and do something they enjoy are 35% more productive.

The second time of day where Dads usually have minimal patience is right after work. Going right from “Working Dad” to “Family Dad” without some mental prep before walking in the front door can definitely be a challenge. Reason being, as men, we are out solving the problems of the world and that can be stressful! Going right from a stressful day at the office right to the chaos of the home front can be a bit daunting from time to time.

Solution: Just as you need to mentally prep for any big meeting or presentation, you have to sometimes mentally prep to be your best when you put your “Family Dad” hat on.  Prayer, positive audiobooks, and inspirational podcasts can definitely help get your mind and heart in the right state.

Strategy #2: How to Improve Patience by Doing Something You Love Every Day

Having a positive outlet is absolutely critical if we want to be our best. For some, a positive outlet means something physical like exercise, running, or going for a walk. For others, it is something that improves mental clarity and focus like meditation, prayer, or reading. The strategy is to ensure we do something on a daily basis for no less than 30 minutes that is a healthy outlet. Having a healthy daily outlet can drastically improve patience and help us live more fulfilled lives.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!