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overcome obstacles

Have More Confidence and Overcome Any Obstacle


Overcome Obstacles with relentless determination!  In this episode, I go over three critical ways to develop more confidence, more self-esteem, and more emotional resiliency!

 

Resources:

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

forging strength

Forging Strength in Our Darkest Hour


Forging Strength in your darkest hour!

I have gotten a ton of feedback from our last podcast on “How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude.”  From what I have heard, most people were surprised that my family went through such a life altering event by losing my son Gabriel.

 

I have had a lot of emails, texts, and communication through the GDP community about how much the last episode effected them personally.  What I am finding is that there is a vast majority of families out there who are afflicted with miscarriage or death of an infant.  I have even had questions asking why I have opened my life up so much about what happened during that six weeks and how it ended.

 

The bottom line is this…I shared it for several reasons.

 

It’s Healing

When we go through something that is literally life altering it changes us forever.  It’s easy to fall into a mindset up anger.  It’s also very common that an event like what our family went through can easily tear the strongest families apart.  When we share the events of our life to give strength to others, we heal.  Simple as that.  When we heal, we help heal others through our own struggles.

 

Forging Strength of the Family

Losing my son not only effected me, but it also effected my entire family.  My wife and two older sons took the loss of our son very hard.  To be honest, I underestimated how much it would effect my two oldest boys (Ethan 10 and Mason 8).  I can tell you without a doubt a ten year-old and an eight-year old child feels the devastating effects of loss when something like this happens.  However, here we are eighteen months later and I can tell you without a doubt our family is stronger now than it ever has been.

 

Forging Strength through Gratitude

My family learned firsthand the power of the right perspective even in our darkest hour.  Our family literally went through six weeks of hell that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  Knowing you are going to lose your son will rattle even the strongest man.  However, I learned the power of having the right perspective in the midst of absolute uncertainty.  I kept a daily gratitude journal during this six-week long process and I believe it literally saved me from insanity.

 

Take 5 Minutes of Gratitude Every Morning

Every morning during that six-week journey, I wrote down three things that I was grateful for every morning.  I can tell you without a doubt, that most mornings it was very hard to see the positive aspects in my life.  However, I can tell you without a doubt that there were several things in my life that were positive.  It took a great deal of discipline to decide to focus on the right things in my life despite the chaos.  I would write down things like:

  • “I’m grateful I have a job.”
  • “I’m grateful my three boys and my wife all have their health.”
  • “I’m grateful we have a roof over our head.”

I will admit, on some days I stretched to find gratitude.  However, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, it was the best thing I did every morning.

 

My Hope for You

I share this story and this daily routine of:

Morning Gratitude – write down 3 things you are grateful for

Your Power Statement – write down your statement that you will use when the fear wolf starts to whisper in your ear.

Your Mission of the Day – what will you do today.  Come hell or high water, what will you accomplish today?

 

Evening Gratitude – write down 2-3 highlights through the day.  Get back into the mindset of gratitude.  The highlights are there every day if we decide to reflect on them.

Eradicate Regret from your Life – What was the lowest point of your day?  Write it down.  Get it out there.  Now, instead of focusing on how deeply you regret that low point, ask yourself “what is the lesson?”

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thanks for checking out this week’s Five Minute Thursday Episode on Forging Strength in our Darkest Hours.

gratitude

How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude


Gratitude is the Secret Sauce to a fulfilled life and is the fuel that develops our grit.

It takes Grit to Climb to the Top

Some of us look at a mountain and immediately think, “Eh-there’s no way I’m climbing that thing.” Others of us will look at the mountain and think, “I’m climbing it. It’s not going to be fun or easy, but I’m climbing it.” To climb that mountain takes grit-the stuff that separates those who do from those who simply watch. Of course, having grit is not necessarily something we inherently have. Sometimes, we have to develop it.

What do you do with Adversity?

Shawn and Larry share their stories of how they developed grit. Both share the pivotal moments where they had a choice: give up or face the mountain. The essence of their stories is this-developing grit is a process, it’s getting up every day and knowing there is a choice. This choice is to live with gratitude, even in the face of extreme adversity.

Why Morning Gratitude is a MUST

Easier said than done, but if we choose to wake up every morning and look at what lies ahead of us with a grateful heart, challenges will seem easier. Larry suggests making daily gratitude deliberate. In other words, one of the first things he suggests doing each morning is writing down what you are grateful for. (He even includes his kids in on the practice and they look forward to doing it!).

What is your ONE MISSION OF THE DAY?

With this in mind, he then suggests creating a daily mission statement. Think about it-when you know what you are going to do, you have a better chance of actually doing it. This mission statement doesn’t have to be profound, it can be something as simple as, “Today I am going to read a book to my kids before bed.” There. Done. And guess what? Mission accomplished.

YOUR POWER STATEMENT!

If you happen to see your day getting off track, your mission statement in jeopardy of being derailed, Larry says he uses his “power statement” to bring him back to home base. This “power statement” is the phrase that you utter to yourself when you feel fear keeping you from climbing up that proverbial mountain. It’s the same thing the Navy Seals use when they face a challenge (for more on this, listen to Episode 28 with Mark Divine. Oh! And he’s coming back!). Choose something simple like, “I’ve got this” or, really, whatever speaks to you.

Eradicate Regret from Your Life with EASE

Even when you have done all of this, there will be times when we won’t be the best versions of ourselves. But, instead of allowing the regret to take over, embrace it. Yep, that’s right, embrace regret (sounds oxymoronic, but stay with us here). Regret can be a great teacher; it can show us where we need to improve. So, when we embrace regret, we not only learn from what we did wrong, but we also know how to improve in future events. This way, you really are eliminating regret from your life by absorbing its lesson.

Back to Gratitude

Finally, when the day is done and you have a chance to reflect on all you have accomplished, look back at two of your most positive moments that day and one regret. Be grateful for each of them, but take a lesson from them as well. Once we learn to master our failures as well as our successes, climbing our many life mountains won’t seem so impossible.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thank you for checking out our show on How to Discover Daily Grit and Gratitude.

work ethic

How to Teach Work Ethic


Work Ethic:  The Ultimate Lesson

We had an awesome guest this past week on the Good Dad Project Podcast featuring Joe De Sena, founder of the Spartan Races and New York Times Bestselling author of “Spartan Up!”

Shawn and I have been trying to find the perfect guest to come on the show and talk about work ethic.  Joe not only talked about work ethic but also how to teach work ethic to our kids.

 

Work Ethic and Purposeful Suffering

Joe shared several ways he teaches work ethic to his own kids.  Some parents listening to this week’s show might cringe at some of the things he said as it relates to “purposeful suffering.”  However, I think his theme on this point was solid!  Parents today can be so incredibly over protective that we shelter our kids from any type of growing pains.  No parent likes to see their kids experience failure, loss, or even really hard work.  However, what we don’t realize is that we are robbing them of critical life lessons that teach work ethic and grit.  If we don’t allow our kids to go through any type of pain and suffering and we throw them a life line at every twist and turn, what are we teaching them?  I think it’s safe to say when we shield them too much from a lesson of grit and failure, we are doing them a disservice.

 

Teaching Work Ethic Through Example

It’s been said time and time again that kids learn the best lessons from the example we teach.  If we want to help our kids understand the value of hard work, we have to show it to them and teach them how to work hard.  Desire and work ethic is one of the most difficult lessons we can instill.  However, we have several opportunities to teach it.

 

For example, the next time our kid wants something (a new bike, a new video game, an expensive toy, a car, etc.) we have the opportunity to show them how to work for it vs. give it to them.

 

For example, my eight-year old loves football cards, baseball cards, and gum.  Instead of just buying him whatever he wants, he has learned to work for things so he can buy them himself.  He will sell candy, rice krispy treats, wash cars, or even help with yard work to make a few bucks so he can buy what he wants.  It may sound tough to make him do certain things for simple things like games, baseball cards, and gum, but it’s an excellent way to teach him these lessons now.  Plus, I have noticed that when he buys something with his own money, he takes much better care of it.

 

Talking Work Ethic on the MFCEO Project Podcast

I was recently on the MFCEO Project Podcast with Andy Frisella and Vaughn Kohler (aka “The Pastor of Disaster).  On that episode Andy and I talked about ways we can leverage our kids failures to teach work ethic and grit.  For example, I can’t stand that kids today get trophies and medals for participation.  Awards are meant to be earned and not given.  Don’t get me wrong, we should always point out the effort our kids put out through communication and encouraging words.  However, we should never give out trophies for just showing up.

 

Awards, trophies, and medals keep kids hungry to keep striving and keep pushing themselves.  If awards like this are just given for showing up, what’s the point in trying your best?

 

Asking Empowering Questions Teach Work Ethic and Grit

When our kids fail, we have a great opportunity to ASK QUESTIONS and not lecture.  For example, if your kid participates in a karate tournament and finishes last, it’s a perfect opportunity to ask them questions to get them thinking about solutions to be better.   You can ask your kid:

  1. What did you think of the tournament?
  2. If you had it to do over again, what would do different?
  3. If you could be better at something specifically with karate, what would be? Your kicks?  Punches?  Speed?
  4. What place would you like to finish in the next tournament?
  5. What do you think we should do to prepare for the next one so you feel confident?

 

Questions like this get a kid (and adults) thinking about solutions.  It also helps identify what needs work and what is needed to get better.  Work Ethic and Grit come from knowing what we need to improve and putting in the time and effort to be better.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Joe De Sena

Joe De Sena Book Spartan Up!

Joe De Sena Podcast

Joe De Sena Website Spartan Races

Thanks for checking out this week’s podcast on How to Teach Work Ethic.

joe de sena

Joe De Sena on How to Teach our Kids Work Ethic and Mental Toughness


Joe De Sena, founder and CEO of Spartan Race, bases his company on the foundation that we, as humans, cannot really reach our full potential until we have gone through struggle. It’s what he calls “purposeful suffering”. Coming from a childhood where he had to learn, on his own, how to make it, Joe De Sena firmly believes his success has come from this purposeful suffering philosophy.

As we’ve seen many times before on the GDP, some of the greatest success stories have come out of a poor upbringing or incredibly challenging circumstances. But there are lessons to be learned from these situations.

Joe De Sena on an “Attitude of Gratitude”

We are the creator, not just the product of our environment. Teaching your kids that their circumstances do no define them empowers them to face obstacles they will certainly come across in their adult lives. Instead of being a victim of circumstance, help your child, and yourself, adopt an attitude of gratitude. While the situation may be difficult, find the growth opportunity.

Joe De Sena on the value of “Delayed Gratification”

Delayed gratification. Joe tells a great story of how his desire for greater things helped him turn down opportunities for instant gratification, and thankfully, his actions paid off. By showing our kids that putting off an immediate want for something greater, we are giving them the gift of patience and teaching them to plant the seeds for their future goals.

Perseverance

Enough said. The success stories on the GDP are not from overnight successes-those are few and very far between. The true successes, the ones that get to the marrow, are those that are had from great sacrifice and tenacity. When we teach kids that they can conquer obstacles they did not think they were capable of conquering, we provide opportunities to build their self-confidence and lay the foundation for them to reach their full potential.

Of course, these lessons take time to teach, and we may need to learn them ourselves, first, but they are critical for survival in this world. Instead of handing our kids everything they desire and protecting them at every turn, give them something greater: the inner power to reach the best version of themselves.

Resources:

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Joe De Sena

Joe De Sena Book Spartan Up!

Joe De Sena Podcast

Joe De Sena Website Spartan Races

Thanks for checking out this week’s podcast on How to Teach Our Kids Work Ethic and Mental Toughness with Joe De Sena.