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Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

Why Fathers Need to Ask for Help

As men, we hate to admit when we don’t know all the answers. We don’t want to seem weak and vulnerable, but fathers need to ask for help sometimes, and here is why.

None of us want to be at a loss when it comes to what to do about job struggles and relationship issues. We especially don’t want to be failing as fathers. Parenting is an intimate thing. That’s why it’s so difficult to ask for help when we need it. But we need to learn that it’s okay to ask for help. We can’t do it all alone and we don’t have to.

We’ve had the honor of interviewing several Navy SEALs on The Good Dad Project. The SEALs are one of the most successful organizations in the world. They are elite performers who accomplish amazing goals in the most stressful and dangerous situations. How do they successfully complete these extreme missions?

As a team.

They work together solving problems and helping each other, and would not be able to do what they do without their teammates by their side.

Just striving to be a better father and man means you are part of an elite group of men too. Join a local group, a mastermind group, or our Dad Edge Private Facebook Group. Seek out a mentor or a friend. Find a place where you feel safe and ask for help.

 

Referenced Episode: Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog


Resources

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Download this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links


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better man

How Your Tribe Will Make You a Better Man with Ryan Michler

Ryan Michler is the creator of the Order of Man Community and Podcast, which teaches men how to live with purpose, achieve self-mastery, and create a legacy. Today he tells why it’s important for men to become part of a tribe and how that tribe will help you become a better man.

Ryan Michler and the Order of Man

Ryan Michler’s father left when he was three-years-old. His first step dad was an alcoholic, and though he wasn’t abusive, he was not present as a parent. His second stepfather was successful, but emotionally abusive, controlling, and manipulative. Still, Ryan didn’t didn’t know what a good dad was supposed to be, so he didn’t know what he was missing. It wasn’t until high school when he saw how his friends’ dads’ behaved that he became aware of the void in his life.

This lack of a father caused Ryan to suffer from a lack of confidence and self-esteem issues. He wanted to be liked and accepted by everyone and changed himself to fit in. After his first marriage failed, he endured the darkest time of his life. He knew he wasn’t operating like a man should. This convinced him to go to work on improving himself.

Now Ryan Michler has been married for twelve years and is a father of four kids. As a dad who grew up without a true father figure, he saw a huge need for learning about what it means to be a man. He started Order of Man to form a tribe of men who can learn from each other and support one another.

Why do men need a tribe?

Women are there for us in a nurturing way, but sometimes we tough love and the insights of other men who have gone what we’ve gone through. Men get emotionally attached to their situations and decisions, it’s difficult to look at our own problems objectively. We need a third-party perspective to give us advice when our thoughts and feelings are clouding our judgement.

How does a tribe work?

Men are raised to be self-reliant and wary of people. We hate to expose our weaknesses or admit when we’re not on top of everything. A tribe is a safe place to share fears and worries about subjects we don’t normally talk about. When we’re going through a time of uncertainty and weakness, we can turn to those with the qualities we’re lacking and learn from them. When we’re feeling strong in life, we can help others by sharing how we’ve overcome a similar experience.

How do we find a tribe?

Operating in packs is how men thrive. To be strong, we need to tie into other people, but it’s up to us to seek out a tribe and be consistent. Ryan suggest dipping your toe in the water. Look at your immediate circle. Who is doing well in areas you’re struggling with? Ask for advice where you see strength in others. Share something light and then build on that. You can also start by joining an online tribe like Order of Man and The Good Dad Project.

Ryan Michler’s Parting Piece of Dad Wisdom

Don’t ever use your kids and family as an excuse not to take care of yourself.

This sounds selfish at first, but it’s actually the most unselfish thing you can do. If you’re constantly draining yourself, you won’t have the mental or physical energy to be a good dad or husband. Begin burned out all the time will build resentment and put a strain on your marriage.

Ryan recommends carving out a time to get together with other men doings something you enjoy. Schedule it in advance. Communicate it to your wife and family so they are in on it you won’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. He also says it won’t work if you just go through the motions. Give your attention fully to the activity so you’re invigorated and mentally restored when you come home. Then you’ll have refilled your tank so you can serve others again.


RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ryan Michler

Website:

orderofman.com

Podcast:

Order of Man

Social Media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

YouTube

 

jim sheils

How to Magnify Your Presence with Your Kids with Jim Sheils

What if you treated your kids with the same respect as you would your biggest business client or investor?

Jim Sheils is a real estate investor and the author of The Family Board Meeting: Is Business Success Hurting Your Family? He is also the founder of Board Meetings International, which offers retreats and online tools to help busy professionals and entrepreneurs forge lasting bonds with their kids.

The tradition started when he and his co-founder, Brian Scrone, got together to surf with friends and joked it was a “board” meeting. Soon it became clear that these trips were about more than just surfing. The camaraderie and support of their surf tribe soon became their deepest source of strength and wisdom. Soon, many of them began to bring their kids along.

As Jim traveled the world for entrepreneurial events, he noticed that many professionals were having a difficult time being successful while maintaining a connection with their families. Even before he became a father, Jim decided to help business owners and professionals make groundbreaking improvements in their relationships with their kids and developed the system he will share in this episode!

What is a board meeting?

A family board meeting is a pre-scheduled 4-hour minimum chunk of time spent with your child every 90 days.

Why every 90 days?

A 90-day period is enough space for deepening and reflection, and it gives ample time for anticipation to build for the next board meeting.

Rules of the board meeting.

  • It must be scheduled like an official meeting that cannot be pushed aside. This ensures you will be consistent and your child knows that they are your highest priority.
  • It must be one-on-one. Being alone with your child with magnify your presence. This time spent together goes much further than the chaos of the whole family being together.
  • Electronics are forbidden. Electronics help us in many ways, but in this instance, they will hurt us by pulling us out of the moment. It will feel awkward at first, but you must disconnect to reconnect.
  • Let your child chose the activity. Allow your kid to design the day. Don’t drag them to something they don’t enjoy.

Jim Sheils recommends ending the day with a focused reflection Ask your kid what he or she liked about the day. Let them talk as much or as little as they want. When you set up time with your child in this format, they remember it clearly, and these special moments become pillars in the relationships.

Jim Sheils’s parting piece of dad wisdom.

Most dads are driven to succeed and provide for their families. We go so fast that we sometimes lose track of the people we love along the way. Is it possible to achieve a balance between family and business?

Jim Sheils always thinks of a simple line Sonny Corleone says in The Godfather. When it comes to choosing between business or family, “I guess business is going to have to suffer.” It doesn’t mean you give up on your business, it just means you put it in its place, and Jim has noticed that he actually performs better and makes better decisions when he keeps focused on what’s most important to him.

 

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Download a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Connect with Jim Sheils

Websites:

Facebook Group

Facebook Page

overcoming adversity

How Overcoming Adversity Can Make You a Better Dad with Nick Dinardo

Nick Dinardo draws on adversity to inform and inspire his life as a podcaster, personal performance coach, author, and dad.

Nick Dinardo is an entrepreneur, a consultant, and a public speaker who focuses on resilience, personal growth, and education. Nick is the author of bestselling book The Game of Adversity: 8 Practices to Turn Life’s Toughest Moments into Your Greatest Opportunities. He is also the host of The Sweet Adversity Podcast and has interviewed hundreds of experts on overcoming adversity, dealing with trauma and stress, and the critical role it plays in our cognitive development.

Nick has dealt with adversity his entire life. At the age of seven, his family went from the American dream to a foreclosed home, divorce, and mental illness. He spent a year sleeping on the floor in a one room apartment where his family shared a kitchen with seventeen other families.

Nick had a great dad, but was angry at his father for not understanding his mom and her mental illness. He still hoped and dreamed his parents would fall in love again, but that never happened. They moved from place to place until his mom got her life back together. During this disruptive time, Nick turned to sports for role models of those who went through hard times and still became great, successful people.

Sports is a microcosm of life

Nick Dinardo’s book, The Game of Adversity, uses sports as a Trojan horse to explore the psychological aspects of adversity and how high performers focus on process, not outcome. Coaches like John Wooden and Bill Belichick implemented this idea in their methods. Wooden made his players adhere to a very strict routine and told them not to think about basketball outside of practice. Belichick didn’t care about the score so much as he did about the team and their cognitive skill development. If the players prepared through the process, the win would come without consciously focusing on the goal.

Focusing on goals can make us unhappy

Goals are anti-presence because you’re focused on the end instead of what’s going on right in front of you. You can’t enjoy the moment because you’re always looking to the future, but you can establish a new norm for yourself and stop waiting till you reach any of your goals to be happy.

We have a choice

Men have evolved to be very results-focused, and we feel like a failure when we don’t achieve our goals. This creates stress and our response effects our cortisol levels, which effects our sleep and the function of our bodies. It triggers a chain reaction that goes all the way into how we treat people and how we approach our day.

Fighting our natural instincts to relentlessly push for our goals is tough, but when faced with a stressful situation, we can actually train ourselves how to respond in a positive proactive way instead of a negative reactive way.

Kids overcoming adversity

Nick says what’s important for kids to overcome extreme adversity is a positive relationship with one adult. Despite the hardship his family went through when he was young, he had a solid social circle of caring adults that acted as a foundation of strength.

Dad wisdom after a childhood of adversity

Nick Dinardo is the new dad of a 5-month-old boy. When Nick thinks about the things his father did for him, one thing stands out. It comes down to love. He remembers his dad always gave him hugs in kisses, even in front of his friends. His dad always told him he loved him multiple times a day. Nick says not to worry about the parenting books and the latest trends. When it comes to being a good dad, all things fall into place from love.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Join our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Get a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Connect with Nick Dinardo

FREE gift for GDP listeners! Click here for your Adversity Toolbox.

Website – NickDinardo.com

Amazon – The Game of Adversity: 8 Practices To Turn Life’s Toughest Moments Into Your Greatest Opportunities

The Sweet Adversity Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

 

Chris Sajnog

Leading Our Family With Confidence with Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog, retired Navy Seal Sniper and father, comes on teh GDP and talks about lessons learned in the Seal Teams and how it relates to fathers and family.

There are always choices in every moment in our lives. Even when we think we don’t have a choice, we are always responsible for our response. Chris Sajnog, father, husband, former Navy SEAL, author and trainer shows the GDP what it takes to face those choices as our best self.

Chris Sajnog Background and Life

Chris comes from a struggling upbringing, but took those struggles and turned them into a successful life. Overcoming great adversity, Chris has developed a program that motivates individuals and teams to become their best versions. As a father, Chris inspires kids, including his own, to take responsibility for their own actions, through TEAM: Take responsibility, Encourage others, Ask for help, and Master yourself.

Taking Responsibility

It’s not always easy to do; owning our failures is hard. Not owning them, however, doesn’t teach us how to better ourselves. Instead, avoiding ownership simply delays the high probability we will make the same mistake in the future.

Encourage Others

When we help others to nurture their own talents, we are helping the greater cause. Each of us has skills and gifts that support each other; not one of us is completely equipped to handle it all. Encouraging others while sharpening our own talents strengthens the individual while providing a stronger outcome in any situation.

Ask For Help

It’s hard, but necessary. Swallowing your pride to ask when you need a hand shows that you have faith in others and are confident enough in yourself to know when you need an extra hand. Asking for help also helps to avoid embarrassing pitfalls when it’s clear you would have benefitted from another.

Master Yourself

This is critical. When we have a grip on our strengths, weaknesses and emotions, we can handle pretty much anything. When we don’t really know our true limits or how to control ourselves, our world can spiral out of control.

TEAM is not only critical for ourselves, but for those around us. As always, being the model for our children is the best way to teach them how to be their best selves.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Chris Sajnog

Chris Sajnog Website

Chris Sajnog Twitter

Chris Sajnog Facebook

Chris Sajnog LinkedIn

Chris Sajnog YouTube