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How to Boost Your Physical, Mental, and Emotional Health

Episode Overview:

In their BIG 4-0 podcast, Larry and Shawn go even deeper into 3 of the 5 Mountains introduced in episode 28’s interview with Sealfit’s Founder, Mark Divine. Packed with life-changing take-aways, the guys discuss immediately actionable ways to improve your daily life.

Key Takeaways:

The Physical, Mental, and Emotional Mountains of our lives are intertwined. Let’s face it: if our body is out of whack, our mental and emotional states aren’t going to fare too well, either. Easy to say, but working on these Mountains can be a task if you don’t know how to address them. So, take out your pick axe and let’s climb them.

Breathe in, breathe out. Sounds simple enough, but many of us only use 50% of our breathing capacity throughout the day, aggravating our fight or flight response. Feel edgy during the day? It might be the way you’re breathing. Try inhaling deeply (using your diaphragm-you know, that muscle right below your ribcage) for a count of 5, then exhaling deeply for a count of 5. You just might find your stress levels decrease significantly.

As much as we need air, we need sleep. We may think sleep is over-rated, but even The Guiness Book of World Records won’t allow any entries related to sleep deprivation. Yeah, it’s that important. Our bodies truly need 7-8.5 hours of sleep per night, but the quality of sleep we get is just as important. The “magic hours” (as Shawn coins them) are between the hours of 10pm and 2am. This is when our bodies get the most regenerative benefits from sleep. Not convinced? Sleep deprivation is proven to lead to lower testosterone and is directly related to erectile dysfunction. Yikes! The lack of those Z’s can really mess with a guy.

So how do you get that quality sleep? It’s starts the minute you wake up.

  1. Try exercising upon waking; it could simply be a brisk walk.
  2. Get your room as dark as you can (in other words-no iPad time in bed)

How you start your day is just as critical as how you finish.

  1. Begin with 20-32 ounces of water
  2. Think about 2-3 things you are grateful for
  3. Spend a couple minutes a day deep breathing
  4. Adopt a positive mantra like, “I got this”
  5. Dirt drive your day-what do you want to accomplish?

Once your day’s going, how do you deal with your stress and emotions? Keep in mind that your emotions don’t define you; they are simply felt thoughts. The trick is not letting them control you. So, create some space to shift your mind-set. Is this a reactionary emotion? If so, think about what the best course of action would be in the situation. What is going to lead you to victory in that moment?

Ahhh. Finally, the end of the day. Sometimes we don’t have the best days. Even on our worst, we should take some time to reflect on the top 3 things that really made an impact. If you didn’t have the best day, what are 2 things you learned from that day? This mind set helps to get us to appreciate the epic moments and learn from our not-so-stellar times.

Happiness-we have 40% control over this (50% from genetics and 10% circumstance). So take the 40% you can control and direct your focus on what brings you happiness now-don’t postpone it!
Part of your happiness resides in your relationships with others. Biologically, we view isolation as a threat. Let’s say you have a disconnect with your spouse. Your mind sees this as a biological threat. In order to overcome this, look at the 3 pillars of an emotionally healthy relationship: Accessible, Responsive, Engaged (ARE). ARE you there in these ways? See? Knowing how to use the skills you already have in your arsenal will help you climb your everyday Mountains. Of course, there are 2 more that need to be addressed in more depth, but we’ll climb them another time.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned in the Episode:

If you enjoyed this episode How to Boost Your Physical, Mental, and Emotional Health let us know. Leave your comments below as we would love to hear your thoughts so we can continue to provide you with content you enjoy.

Jon Vroman Ep 39

Uncover Your Front Row Factor in Your Relationships, Career, and Life

Episode Overview:

How engaged are you? Larry and Shawn speak to The Front Row Factor for Dads with Jon Vroman, award winning speaker, host of The Front Row podcast, and chairman and founder of The Front Row Foundation about being in the front row of life: yours, your kids, those you love. Jon recounts his courageous life choices and explains how you can take an active seat in life’s front row.

Key Takeaways from The Front Row Factor for Dads with Jon Vroman:

You’re enough. Those words are powerful. Right here, right now, you are everything you need to be in this moment. The world needs you to be the best version of yourself instead of trying to be something you really aren’t. So, how do you do this? Define your front row.

Who is in your front row? Think about it. Your inner circle supports you and cheers you on in your life; that’s how important that front row is. At the same time, are you in the front row of those who are most important to you (your kids, your significant other)? Are you present? See life from your kids’ perspective and think about how they see you. Put yourself in your kids’ world and vie life from their perspective. Be in their front row. This is the Front Row Factor for Dads with Jon Vroman.

This also means being flexible and engaged. Life can throw you plenty of curve balls, but if you are flexible and engaged, you are better equipped to take those challenges in stride. You’ll find you grow and evolve and be the best example for your kids by demonstrating these qualities.

Being in your kids’ front row shows them you are their biggest fan. You have earned a right to be in your child’s front row, so take advantage of that privilege.

The front row demands that you take action and be courageous in your life. Whatever you are impassioned about or have longed to do are only going to happen if you take the lead. And your children are watching the choices you make and how you make the most out of life’s opportunities.

If you have a seat you don’t like, change it. If you have a seat you can’t change, adopt the philosophy that this seat is the best seat in the house. Choose to make the most of the seat you’re in.

Do you choose to play it safe in life or do you choose to take the risk and see what happens…down in front?

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Jon Vroman’s Links:

If you enjoyed this episode The Front Row Factor for Dads from Jon Vroman let us know. Leave your comments below as we would love to hear your thoughts so we can continue to provide you with content you enjoy.

Justin Worsham

The Crap My Dad Says with Justin Worsham – GDP025

Episode Overview:

“Don’t take life too seriously…you will never get out alive.” – Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder – 2002)

About Justin Worsham

Justin Worsham is a family man and professional comedian from Modesto, CA. His three albums, “I’m a Good Husband,” “Paternally Challenged,” and “I Love My Kids…I Swear” are featured on Blue Collar Radio on SiriusXM. Justin has also been seen on Comic Without Borders with Russell Peters on Showtime and Played Jimmy Kimmel in Not Another Celebrity Movie. Justin also host a comedy podcast for Dads called “The Dad Podcast” that is featured as one of Stitcher’s Top Parenting podcasts and another podcast for CBS Play.It Network, “Justin is Married Booker is Single.” In addition to his stand up and shows he works as a Voice Over Actor and Producer at KFI 640AM for iHeart Media. He now makes his home in Burbank, CA with his High School sweetheart and their two boys.

Check him out at www.JustinComedy.com

Key Takeaways:

  • Discover how taking things too seriously can make our journey as a dad unbearable at times

  • Learn how to find the humor in a chaotic situation

  • Comedy can truly improve our journey as father

  • Fatherhood is not perfection

Raising young kids can seem like a house full of drunks

If you think about everyday fatherhood, there are so many situations where we can find humor.  For instance, I have three boys (Ethan 9, Mason 7, and Lawson 20 months).  My wife and I joke at times that raising young boys can sometimes feel like a house full of drunk fraternity brothers.  For example, someone at some point is always missing a shoe.  Someone at some point is always hungry for pancakes late at night.  Someone at some point doesn’t have pants on.  To top it all off, there isn’t a day that goes by where someone isn’t farting in someone’s face and laughing hysterically.  Finally, the way kids can sometimes bluntly announce their state of being:” I WANT CRACKERS!  I’M THIRSTY!!”

Parenting doesn’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows

One of the coolest takeaways from this episode is Justin’s view on how messy and crazy parenting can be at times.  However, on the exterior, we all want to demonstrate that our personal world of parenting doesn’t ever drive us crazy at times.  The reality is parenting is rewarding.  However, there are times where we feel challenged, annoyed, and absolutely defeated.  It’s in those times of annoyance and defeat, we can step outside ourselves and try and find the humor in any situation.  For example, have you ever just listened to your little kids talking to each other in the backseat while you are driving?  Usually the conversation is about farts, poop, burps, boogers…you name it.  While at times hearing that stuff is so annoying and it can be like nails down a chalkboard, you have to admit, there is definitely humor there.  Again…”little drunk people.”

You can use your humor to raise your kids

Life is going to throw even the best parents some crazy curveballs.  For the most part, we can take life and stress so seriously.  Having that mentality is a recipe for disaster.  Justin shares one of the best ways to lighten a serious situation is to simply cracking a joke about it.  At times, it’s better to crack a joke when our buttons are pushed instead of reacting in a negative way.  For example, Justin shared a story with us about a time when he blew out his father’s speakers when he was five years old.  Instead of his dad yelling, screaming, or spanking him; his dad simply said, “You know, you actually had an older brother and sister who did the same thing…you have never met them because I killed them.  So, keep that in mind.”  As crazy you think that comment might be, think of how that comment probably lightened the situation.  Justin’s dad could have reacted in a very negative way.  Spanking, yelling, screaming, etc. could have been the result.

“Think about farts when you are taking a bath!” – Justin Worsham

There are several times throughout the day where our patience is tested with our kids because we need them to do something (whatever that something is) and they have a different agenda.  If we mess with their agenda, we tend to get a pretty upset reaction!  At times, when our kids get upset, we get upset.  When we get upset (yell, scream, and react) we can actually make the situation worse.

However, if we take a different approach and distract them from their behavior, we will usually get a very different reaction when we mess with our kid’s agenda.  For you to really get where I am going with this, check out the audio portion of the show around minute 42:00.  Justin explains this whole situation way better than I can describe it here.

“Don’t take your parenting journey too seriously…you will never get out alive” – Larry Hagner

Justin Worsham Links:

  • Justin’s Website:  www.TheDadPodcast.com

  • Facebook Link:  facebook.com/dadpodcast

  • Twitter Link:  @DadPodcast

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Essential Tool Kit for Dads

Essential Tool Kit for New Dads – GDP010

“Essential Tool Kit for New Dads” Episode Overview

Most men are extremely nervous about being a new dad. Larry and Shawn talk about the top 3 concerns that most new dads share: money, potential changes in the marital relationship, and time with friends.

Key Take-Aways

Many men have serious fears about becoming a new dad, such as:

  • Money: Financial constraints of a new baby
  • Relationship: Fear of the relationship with their wife completely changing
  • Time with Friends: Fear that a new child will put a halt to their social lives

 

Concern #1: Money

Money is a big-time legitimate concern, and you should be prepared. In a recent study, numbers show that it costs approximately $250,000 to raise a child from birth to 18 years old – not including college. For more details, see the articles from CNN Money and Huffington Post, and factor for inflation and cost of living adjustments.

One of the most critical decisions to be made are about child care: Daycare or a parent staying home. According to 2012 Census data, there are over 2 million stay-at-home dads.

The necessities over a one-year timeframe will cost over $10,000 in the first year. Baby Center has a great “baby cost calculator” on their site, which covers items such as: diapering, feeding, gear, other necessities, etc.

 Tips for being financially prepared:

  • Sit down with your partner and come up with a budget you can both live with
  • Cut out some of the unnecessary things in your budget to temporarily to prepare for upcoming expenses – start off expecting to spend ~$1,000/month in the first years of raising your child, and plan to save accordingly
  • Look into ways to make passive income
  • When having baby showers, ask your all guests to give you diapers
  • Set up an online savings account that deposits money automatically

 

Concern #2: Relationship Changes with Your Partner

The truth: Your relationship will change. But you both have to agree to you will roll with the changes. And the change can be for the better if you are prepared.

The divorce rate with kids is up to 49%.

There will be no sex for at least 6 weeks after birth and within the first year with your partner, especially if your partner is your wife who gave birth recently. The lull usually lasts 6-8 weeks, sometimes up to 12 weeks, especially with new moms.

Be patient with sex. For the first year, it will most likely die down a bit. But not to worry. If you follow the 3 tips we mention below, you should be doing the body rock before too long!

Tips to stay connected with your partner in the first year:

  • Have a scheduled monthly date night
  • Book your sitters out the next 3-4 months – have it planned for date nights
  • Talk without distractions for at least 10 minutes per day – turn off the TV and cellphones
  • Send random texts to each other throughout the day

 

Concern #3: Making Time for Friends/Social Expectations

For the first 3 months, neither you or your wife will most likely leave the house very often for social gatherings. Your schedules will be working around naps and feedings. Plus, you both won’t feel like it because you will likely be feeling tired.

After 4-12 months Tips:

  • Make an agreement that each of you is allowed one night per month to get out with friends: Have a guys night with the guys, and the girls can have a girls night – or mix it up by getting together with other couples or friends from both genders.
  • Once a month will be just enough to keep your friendships strong and keep each of you sane.

 

Making Time for Yourself

Make sure you don’t forget to make time for yourself. In addition to connection with your partner and with your friends/social relationships, you will need to take more steps for self care. Take care of yourself first, so that you have more to give.

Tips:

  • Sleep whenever possible — catching up with naps will help give you some rest, or even closing your eyes for a period of time will help to relax and refresh you
  • Exercise to keep your body and mind healthy and give you more energy
  • Eat healthy, real food and hydrate yourself to give yourself the proper energy you need
  • Meditate or do breathing exercises

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Links Mentioned In This Episode

 

Books Mentioned In This Episode

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

overcome weakness

How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness – GDP009

“How to Identify, Conquer, and Overcome Weakness” Episode Overview

Larry and Shawn get personal on this episode and share some of the things they struggle with most and how they have learned to personally overcome weakness.

Key Take-Aways

  • Being aware of our weaknesses is the first step to conquering them
  • Implementing a strategy to conquer your weakness whenever you feel it start to arise

Example: Losing your patience – how to recognize it, control it, conquer it

Larry’s 1st Weakness: Patience

A lot of challenges in life, both at work and at home, can wear your patience down. You’ll feel tense and will exhibit tension through your facial expressions and actions. You can be irritable with your partner and with your kids. Check out this blog article on patience by Larry for more insight.

Solutions:

  • Take a few minutes before entering the house after a long day at work to reflect and breathe
  • Say a prayer: The powerful thing about prayer is it that you’re being intentional in your thoughts and actions

Larry says a prayer like this:

“Dear Lord, I don’t have it together today. I know I can’t do this alone. I need your help because without Your help, I won’t be successful. So, I pray that you will guide me to be the best version of myself for my family, and to turn a bad day into a good evening.”

  • Deep breathing
  • Listen to uplifting music
  • Listen to uplifting podcast

 

Shawn’s 1st Weakness: Low Tolerance for B.S.

Shawn tends to be short tempered with his older kids. He’s not patient with them when he knows they could be better at something he knows they can do. This crossed over into his professional career as well. Shawn has a hard time with people who don’t help themselves. However, Shawn has learned to recognize whether most actions or behavior are carried out from a place where the person lacks ability or lacks choice. He is more patient and tolerant when things are done out of lack of ability or choice, but he’s less tolerant when things can be more easily chosen and prevented. Realize that it’s not about you trying to win an argument or necessarily control a situation and be right. Own your feelings.

Solutions:

  • Have the intention
  • Have space to reflect
  • Be aware: Listen to the way you feel and the language you’re using
  • Be more compassionate and understanding
  • Ask yourself: “What is it that this person really wants? And how can I serve?”
  • See your kids/partner/another person: Look at them, listen to them, and remember how important they are to you
  • Tip that Larry learned from someone: Look into someone’s eyes and notice their eye color in the heat of the moment, which forces you take a pause — you can not only see that person, their emotion and the person that they are, but you can really recognize them and makes you able to respond instead of react.

 

Larry’s 2nd Weakness: Work-Life Balance

Larry works out of his house. His home is his office, and his office is his home. Men get wrapped up in the “provider mentality,” which is a hard to thing shut off, especially if they are the breadwinner and especially if they work from home. It can be a double-edged sword: You can be working to hours to provide for your family, but you’re also not able to provide for your time — quality time — to spend with family. You may be physically with your family, but your mind and emotions may not be there, particularly if you’re working while with them. Technology, specifically with emails and text messages, make you virtually reachable at all hours and increases the temptation to continue working. Larry shares an “a-ha!” moment he had with son. It’s a relatable, poignant story. Listen to the podcast to hear it.

Solutions:

  • Turn your phone off — or at least turn off the notifications and put the ringer on silent
  • Leave your phone and/or laptop in the car — or other safe place that isn’t so easily accessible

 

Shawn’s 2nd Weakness: Communication with Children’s Mothers

Shawn clarifies that he struggles in communicating with his ex (not his wife), which can be additionally challenging. He also tended to latch onto his kids more, out of fear, when he dropped them off to be with their mother. He was expecting problems and issues with his ex always being on “defense” when having a conversation with her. What complicates the situation even more is the fact that having children at a young age can cause additional frustration. Generally, the younger a parent is, the less prepared they are to have and raise a child. Plus, when you’re young, you’re still trying to figure out who you are as a person. It’s mostly about being patient and remaining appreciative about the process. There can also be resentment when there is positive change, particularly when one parent is able to move on and do well in life or seems to be doing better than the other parent is currently. Note: Don’t necessarily expect a positive response from your ex at first when you show and communicate positivity with her/him — you’ll likely catch them off guard.

Solutions:

  • Start playing offense and not defense — in other words, take the initiative: In a conversation, immediately look for ways to be helpful and to be of service towards your partner or ex-partner parent
  • Emote positive energy: Be truly caring and loving towards your partner or ex-partner parent as well as what they want and what their goals are, and then be more caring and patient with them
  • Show appreciation when things are difficult, and keep them top-of-mind: Even though you don’t like each other, you must find the things you appreciate about your partner or ex and find the goodness
  • Communicate goodness in every conversation possible, frequently — not just on Mother’s Day or holidays — especially when things are not well between you and your partner or ex, so that you can start to better transition into a much more valuable, healthier relationship

 

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

The Good Dad Project Car Karaoke Session

Check out the video of Larry and Shawn singing a tune in a car, complete with disco ball and colored lights. They’re mic’ed up, so the karaoke is official now — and they’re on some kind of fire!

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You!

Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!