Posts

get your mind off work

One Simple Mind Hack To Get Your Mind Off Work

As all of you regular listeners know, 5 minute Thursdays are never five minutes. We are finally switching the name. Welcome to Thursday Throwdown! On this episode I’ll be revealing one simple mind hack so you can get your mind off work and be mentally present with your family.

On last week’s episode with Jim Sheils, we talked about how to magnify your presence with you kids by carving out 4 hours every 90 days to be together one-on-one without distractions. This is a game-changing practice for fathers and their kids, but what about in the ordinary evenings after work or on the weekends? What can we do to get our mind off work and focus on our kids every day?

Being present is a struggle for most men. We are Type-A personalities who were wired to compete, hunt, and multi-task. We’re always thinking about the next goal to accomplish or the next problem to be solved. When we’re our around kids, it’s hard for us to shut the rest of the world down and keep our mind from wandering.

Ryan Michler, the creator of Order of Man, gave me a crystal clear answer. Since dads are always focusing on our next big goal, make the goal being present with your child.

BE THERE

Mentally, physically, and emotionally.

That is the goal right now. That is what we’re trying to conquer.

 


We appreciate all the support!

The Good Dad Project is getting a huge response. If you’re enjoying the show, we encourage you to leave an itunes review. We read a review on the show every week, so don’t forget to sign your name.

Dad Edge Facebook Community

Have you joined the Dad Edge Facebook group? We have over 3,000 members from all over the world discussing what it means to be a dad, husband, entrepreneur, and how we can be the best versions of ourselves. Join us here!


RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

sean whalen

Sean Whalen Taking 100% Responsibility and Being a Lion Not a Sheep

Sean Whalen, founder of “Lions Not Sheep” comes on the GDP Podcast to share his views on masculinity, being a father, and taking ownership.

Blame. It’s what we do when we can’t face our own responsibility for failures in our life. It’s so easy for us to point to the plank in someone else’s eye when it’s too hard for us to look at our own plank. Sean Whalen, founder of Lions Not Sheep, explains his own struggle to get to the point where he could be the best person for himself and others.

Sean Whalen and Why Lions Eat First

It is so easy for us to take care of others, thinking that if we just do what we think everyone else wants us to do, that all will be well. When we aren’t getting the response from others we expect from these actions, then we get frustrated and tend to give up. The situation may seem counterintuitive, but if we look at investing in ourselves first, we can show up so much more for others. So, be the lion who eats first so you can be strong for your pride.

Wrong Signal

We have been taught through our upbringing, religion, society that we can’t be selfish. No, you shouldn’t step on others to get what you want, but taking time to get yourself right can only improve your relationships and make you a better person. Happiness can only come from within.  We find ways to block out that negative wrong signal by whatever means necessary to get to the best version of you.

Don’t Be Prideful

As men, when we struggle, we internalize the struggle. Where we fail is when we don’t turn to others who have been through a similar struggle, and we flounder. Giving ourselves the “ok” to get help, we find that we are more successful when we have the tools to get out of the proverbial hole.  Swallow that pride, get out and find the help you need from someone who’s been there, and get better.

Sean Whalen and Failing Forward

We have to be real. Real in every aspect of our lives: our kids, our spouse, our job. In a world where everything is politically correct, we need to learn it’s ok to fail, to learn to fail forward and be better because of our failures. Doing so will only set the correct example for our kids and those around us. Being the lion in your own life only resonates to others to be the best version of themselves.

RESOURCES

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

 

Sean Whalen Links:

Sean Whalen Website

Sean Whalen Lions Not Sheep Experience

Thanks for checking out this week’s show with Sean Whalen

intentions

Intentions Are Not Enough

Intentions…What we “intend” to do does not always come to fruition.

Intentions and the Old Saying

What’s the phrase? “The road to (fill in the blank; we are family friendly after all), is paved with good intentions.” Maybe that’s taking it a bit too far, but sometimes our intentions are shadowed by actions that speak against what we are trying to accomplish.

 

Remain Focused

The key to ensuring your intentions are reflected by your actions is to stay focused on the desired outcome. It’s just like setting a goal, if you don’t have a realistic road map to get there, you may not achieve your goal. The same with your intentions. If you don’t have a plan when life gets in the way of acting on your intentions, then you may get sidetracked. That’s ok. You’re only human. Just get back on the original path and try again.

 

Be Honest

When you do find yourself straying from your intentions, be honest with yourself and others. Don’t make excuses for why you got off track, just own up to the fact, apologize where and when necessary (yes, even to yourself) and move forward. Remember that it is not the mistakes we are remembered by, but the way we respond to the mistake.

 

Be Intentional

Be intentional about your intentions. If you really intend to be a strong role model for your kids, then be that. However, make sure you define what that looks like so you have less chance of veering off course or not meeting expectations. Those around you will take notice and you will find you don’t have to vocalize your intentions when they become your habits.

RESOURCES

 

==>NEW!!<== Grab a copy of The Dad’s Edge AUDIOBOOK on iTunes or Audible

GRAB A COPY OF THE DAD’S EDGE HERE

Check out our Dad Edge Group on Facebook Request Entry Here

JOIN US FOR FOR THE SEALFIT 2oX on June 24th at Vail Lake, CA HERE.  Use “GOODDAD10” for the coupon code and save 10%

Checkout Unbeatable Mind Online HERE

We have new Dad Edge T-Shirts!  Grab one HERE

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Jim Harshaw on How to Achieve More Success Through Failure


Jim Harshaw believes failure, struggle and setbacks are not only an inevitable part of life but a necessary step on the path to success. Jim Harshaw has learned many life lessons on the wrestling mat. Having been a Division I All American and won three ACC Championships for the University of Virginia, trained at the Olympic Training Center and competed overseas for Team USA he has experienced significant triumph and devastating defeat. He relates those powerful lessons of failure, struggle and setback to empower his audiences to overcome their own challenges and achieve success despite their inevitable failures.

Fear and Failure

If you’re sensitive to harsh words, you may want to cover your eyes. Yeah, it’s a family show, but we’re going to talk about two “F” words. Ready? Here they come: Fear and Failure. Whew! That’s out of the way.

Success is Built on Failure

Jim Harshaw built his success on failures. As a matter of fact, he says each of his successes was built on failure. Early on, his failures, along with his successes, on the wrestling mat, gave him the foundation for the rest of his life. (He even goes on to say that Venture Capitalists in Silicon Valley, CA want to see someone with some type of failure in their background before backing someone.) That said, the life of a successful person is a grind and it’s full of failure.

It’s all about our Mentality when it comes to Failure

So many times, we sabotage our goals and dreams because we cripple ourselves with fear (the first “F” word). We’re afraid of failing (oops, the second “F” word), embarrassment, loss of respect, you name it. Maybe we don’t think successful people fail. Maybe we firmly believe that those who “make it” are just lucky and don’t struggle. Stop it. This is negative thinking. Actually, it’s the successful people who DO fail.

Successful People View Failure Differently

Not only do successful people know that failure will eventually lead to success, they surround themselves with what Jim calls an “environment of excellence.” This would be the people who support and push you forward, give you a confidence check when you need it (yes, we’ve heard this before from so many of our GDP guests!). It’s these people who will be there even when you do fail, so they can share your joy when you succeed.

The Proper Mindset

When this mindset is engrained in your own life, it is only natural that it should carry over to others-particularly, your children. Children have an incredible, innate ability to bounce back from failure early on: they fall down as toddlers trying to walk, get back up and try again. Somehow, though, this ability seems to falter as they grow in school, in sports, and anything else that takes risk. But if you, the parent, the guide, demonstrate through your own recovery from failure, that it is ok and even necessary to fail, your children will follow your lead. What better gift could we give our children than to learn that a great secret to success is mastering how to fail? See? The two “F” words aren’t that bad. When we learn that fearing failure isn’t necessary, and approach failure in a positive way, we are more apt to succeed.

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

The Dads Edge Book

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Jim Harshaw Links:

If you enjoyed this episode Jim Harshaw: How to Achieve More Success Through Failure. Leave your comments below as we would love to hear your thoughts so we can continue to provide you with content you enjoy.

card castles with dad

Card Castles with Dad by Ken Carfagno

Building Card Castles and building relationships…

Picture this. It’s the second grade and math class is in full swing. Each kid scratching their head or tapping their #2 pencil on the desktop as the teacher talks arithmetic. But there’s something amiss. Two kids are in the back of the room, building card castles. Are they in trouble? How could they be? They’re playing while the rest of the class is working.

Hello Dads! I was one of those kids. It wasn’t a perfect system, but what else could the teacher do? The wicked smart Chinese boy and, yours truly, literally finished ALL of the math work before the others started. So the teacher excused us to the back to build card castles.

Dadnamic Connection: Build Card Castles

Have you already perfected the art of card castle construction as a 2nd grader? I’ll pause for dramatic effect… [Jeopardy music plays…]

Okay, good. To anyone who said NO… Ouch, I’m so sorry! You’re never too old to start. It’s simple. Lean and lay. Got it, if not – Google it!

Grab your son and get cards. Now build! The winner is the master builder with the largest and tallest card castle.

Conversation Starter: The Difficulty of Fatherhood

Have you ever been given less instructions for an activity than that? It was on purpose. Dads, this is the perfect segway to a meaningful conversation with your son. That’s what Dadnamics is all about!

Great connection leads to great conversation.

Most Dads aren’t given instructions to this “fatherhood” thing, just like I did to YOU a minute ago! Let’s try the card castles again, but this time with the conversation of fatherhood.

Be Sticky!

When you lean two cards together, did you notice that they slide? As an experiment, try to build a simple triangle with two cards on a hard-surface floor, carpet, or rubber surface. As you and your son try, tell him that the “stickier” the surface, the better the castle. Explain that being a Dad is hard, but the first step is to decide to stick around.

No matter what.

The Right Base…

Now that you’re sticky, let’s build the right base. You can align your triangle pieces or construct them in a circular pattern before you start laying down the “first floor”. There are other methods too, but which will prove most durable? As you’re trying this out with your boy, explain to him…

“Son, the base is really, really important to building a STRONG castle, just like being a good Dad. It represents what you believe and what you place your trust in.”

Counting Cards?

I never told you how many cards to use. Ha! You probably got one deck and split them up. But isn’t that limiting? What if you had 10 decks each? Ask your son about the instructions.

“How many cards were we supposed to use?”

He’ll say, “I don’t know.”

Good. Use that to talk with him more about fatherhood. Being the best Dad requires lots of cards. The more cards, the bigger you can build. Share that the “cards” are resources like books, podcasts, conferences, churches, etc.

Copy That

Search “best card castles” and see what you can mimic.

“Being a Dad is difficult and we need to find those doing it well, and copy them. That’s called finding a mentor. My mentor is __________.”

Hopefully, you have one. No worries. Get one if you don’t!

More Time…

Ask your son, “What was the time limit for this activity?”

He’ll say again, “I don’t know.”

Wrap up this vital conversation on the difficulty of fatherhood like this.

“Son, the more time we invest together into our card castle, the stronger it will become. It’s the same with being a Dad. We have to spend time together.”

Now pause while your son beams back at you.

Hope you enjoyed Card Castles with Dad by Ken Carfagno.  For all his links and resources, please check them out below.

Free Resources:

THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

The Dads Edge Book

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Connect with Ken Carfagno, Founder of Dadnamics and Author of the Arctic Land experience:

Email: ken@dadnamics.com
Skype: ken.carfagno
Webpage: www.dadnamics.com
Arctic Land book: www.dadnamics.com/ArcticLand
Dadnamics Live! Blog: www.dadnamics.com/category/blog

Social Media
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/DadnamicsLive
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Dadnamics
Twitter: www.twitter.com/kencarfagno
Instagram: www.instagram.com/kencarfagno
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/Dadnamics

card castles with dad